


Unrequited

by CherryBombx



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Accidental Plot, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Blend 10K (Z Nation), M/M, M/M zombies apocalypse znation, Murphy (Z Nation) Being an Asshole, POV 10K (Z Nation), Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 92,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23597821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBombx/pseuds/CherryBombx
Summary: 10k is confronting his feelings for Murphy. Unsure what their relationship is developing into they both try navigate a way through it.
Relationships: 10K & Murphy (Z Nation), 10K (Z Nation)/Original Male Character(s), 10K/Cassandra (Z Nation), 10K/Murphy (Z Nation), Murphy/Serena (Z Nation)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I know this isn’t a majorly shipped thing but I have just had an idea for it and I’m gonna just roll with it!
> 
> So bare with me!
> 
> Also I’m pretty new to actually posting stuff so please be kind lol! 
> 
> Thank you! Happy reading!

10k wasn’t normally nervous. He took pride on himself for being able to remain calm and collected, especially under pressure. There was no point in getting all panicky when he had to aim a rifle or slingshot to ensure he mercies the attacking Z’s. There was no point in allowing his hands to tremble and his words to stutter when confronted with unwanted questions, it just allowed people to make assumptions on your answer. He was taught from a young age that people preyed on weakness. When the world went Z he knew he had to become hardened, less trusting.

Then Murphy happened. 

10k was not the type to develop crushes. Yes, he enjoyed some peoples company more than others and yes he had found people attractive but this was different. Initially he convinced himself he loathed the older man, his rugged appearance and lack of consideration for anyone other than himself was enough to allow him to do so. He was rude and volatile and damn right annoying. Murphy played along. Giving 10k the infamous Murphy quips and doing things purposely so that he could chuckle at 10k’s scowl. 10k believed Murphy disliked him as much 10k disliked Murphy. So why was he so furious that Murphy was talking to this woman?  
He tried to tell himself it was because he was concerned for her safety. That Murphy was a trickster and manipulative and not completely human anymore.  
10k leaned against the barrel of his rifle, feeling the pressure of it against his elbow. He smoked his cigarette in the other hand, his eyes not daring to move from Murphy laughing carelessly with the blonde. He wasn’t concerned for that woman. She was curvaceous and pretty, a wide, toothy grin and ringed fingers clinking against her glass of whiskey. A sword was sheathed across her back and her belt decorated with an assortment of weapons, ranging from small hammers to sharpened stakes. She wasn’t exactly sheltered from the dangers the new world possessed. She had the same look in her eyes that they all did. A constant sadness that kept the eyes wet around the edges. The traumas they had endured ready to be replayed like a sickening horror show at any given moment. 10k sighed and bit down on his lip. No he wasn’t concerned for her, he was jealous of her.

“10k you fancy another drink?” Addy called over to him.  
She was happily investigating behind the bar of this club they were resting in, her red hair bouncing around her shoulders as she poured herself a large helping of clear liquid.  
“You read my mind,” he lied as he slid his glass down the bar towards Addy.  
As she caught it she giggled girlishly,  
“You know I think I would have liked a bar job? I definitely like being on this side of the bar.”  
10k smiled at her, watching as she examined the bottles.  
“It suits you,” Doc added, strolling over with an empty glass from his table where he was sitting with Warren and Vasquez.  
“I once dated this barmaid in my youth,” Doc smiled fondly, “my god she was a rocket that gal.”  
Addy and 10k both laughed at Doc as he slipped into a clearly enjoyable memory.  
A firm hand clamped itself onto 10k’s shoulder, internally startling him but his exterior barley flinching. He turned to see a dark blue fingers pressing deeply in his jacket. His heart palpitated painfully in his chest at the touch.  
It had started off as the pair making sarcastic comments to the other. The usual banter that flowed so naturally amongst the group. Warren had even thanked 10k for trying to be less aggressive with their ‘willing prisoner’. Then Murphy started sharing his cigarettes with him. Casually leaning that bit too close, let his touch linger for a little longer than necessary, much like now. 10k could fill his stomach swell with the sensation of moths fluttering inside him, flapping manically as they searched for an escape. His hands got clammy and he had to prey his face wasn’t pink with the heat he could feel across his cheeks. He wondered if Murphy knew he was even doing it.  
Murphy released his grasp on 10k’s shoulder and moved in between him and Doc.  
“Bar wench!” He smiled a teasing grin, “another beverage for me and the fair lady please!”  
Addy raised her eyebrows and stuck up her middle finger at Murphy, even though she took his empty cups and started to refill them.  
“You look like you’re getting cosy over there,” Addy observed.  
Murphy blew his lips out and shrugged his shoulders cockily,  
“What can I say, I’m irresistible.”  
“Irritating would be more accurate,” Addy jested as she shoved his drinks at him.  
“Nah it’s good to blow off steam my man,” Doc interjected, “being so serious all the time it affects your mental health you know.”  
10k watched how Murphy’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was under a lot of stress, being the saviour of humanity and all that.  
“Come on then kid,” Murphy aimed at 10k, “I’m sure your dying to take the piss.”  
10k had to fight the urge to squirm as Murphy’s piercing eyes gave him a subtle once over.  
10k had to think of response. Quickly without incriminating himself and his thoughts.  
“I got nothing,” he admitted, swigging from his drink, “have fun.”  
Murphy almost looked disappointed but winked at Addy for the drinks before swaggering back to the blonde.  
10k didn’t follow Murphy with his eyes, he was still so confused about why it was even bothering him. Sure, he had noticed that Murphy would have been devilishly handsome if it weren’t for the navy tinge of his skin and the chunks of scarred flesh hidden beneath his shirts. Even then it wasn’t like he was hideous. Murphy’s sense of humour was starting to rub off on him. He had started to inwardly chuckle at some of Murphy’s underhand remarks. He liked the way Murphy put his arm around Warrens shoulder when she was obviously upset. It wasn’t a massive gesture, a small squeeze that seemed to be enough to make Warren smile and not warrant him a punch to the face. He liked the way he played cards with Doc. He effortlessly let the cards glide between his fingers, he shuffled them with a precision of someone who had mastered the skill. He liked the way he smiled when Doc accused him of cheating. 10k even like the way Murphy held himself when he spoke to 10k. When it was just them and he manage to make his presence even more known than it already was. It made 10k uncomfortably shift his weight from one foot to the other at the thought, to think that maybe his feelings for Murphy were stirring something deeper. Something he had not yet confronted pre-Z.  
“Yo,” Vasquez called to group, “we’re moving out.”  
It snapped 10k back from his thoughts. He finished his drink, gulping it down too quickly to actually taste it, and then kicked his rifle up into his hand.  
Hopefully there would be some Z’s on the road that he could take out his frustration on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just going with it.
> 
> All comments are appreciated! Thank you for reading.

They had been on the road for what seemed like hours. Nothing but a barren wasteland of fields and abandoned cars. The night was approaching, the sky a bright tinge of blood orange that Murphy had always enjoyed watching. The buildings in the distance dark silhouettes against the dusky sky. He had learnt that it was the little things in life that made you feel sane. Not that there was anything sane about his situation at all but he tried to relish the moments that could be mistaken for peaceful.  
Breaking his concentration from the scenery was a distinctive ‘thwack’ followed by that squelch of something penetrating a brain and then the thud as the Z’s corpse hit the ground. He didn’t even need to look up to know that 10k was picking off stray Z’s with his slingshot. He looked anyway. The way he was hunched into the far corner of the back of the truck, his legs gingerly leaning against Doc’s who was snoring beneath a blanket, intent on not to wake him. 10k was too busy scouting for his next prey that he didn’t notice Murphy observing him. The way his hacked haircut was windswept from the breeze. The way his neck looked so appealing as it was twisted so that he see over the side of the truck. Murphy could almost make out a pulse as 10k’s arteries forced blood through them. Murphy thought about how much he would enjoy scraping his teeth along that area of pale, sweet skin... maybe even to bite down on it... 

He physically shook his head to fend off those thoughts.   
‘Totally inappropriate,’ he scolded himself mentally. He wasn’t surprised to find himself harbouring some attraction towards the groups little sharp shooter. Murphy often preferred his men a little younger and his women more mature. He wasn’t too sure why, just a preference he supposed. He liked it when a woman knew what she wanted, when she would seize the moment and dominate the situation.   
A feisty woman was a fun woman.   
His men, on the other hand, he preferred a little more reserved. Willing and submissive without being too pathetic. The younger ones seemed to fall into that category more than men his age. Not that Murphy was a pervert, he definitely liked all his partners to be of legal age and consenting, obviously. 10k was dark and brooding on one hand and innocent and fresh on the other. One minute he was glaring at Murphy like he was the scum of the earth and the next he was offering to share his cigarette. Murphy couldn’t keep up with sudden changes of heart, but he couldn’t help getting lured into the game they had started playing. Flirting and name calling. Who would move their leg first when they were pressed against each other in the confinement’s of the truck? Who knows? It was too much fun. A welcome distraction from what a mess his life had become. 

He had enjoyed that woman’s company at the bar. Rachel? Raquel? Shit, he couldn’t remember. She was just passing through, stopped on her travels when she noticed alive, functioning humans making their way into the building. She just wanted to say hello. Share some human contact before being alone again. Murphy was more than happy to indulge her. Warren had given him a questionable look. The way she always did when she thought Murphy was doing something stupid or calculated.   
“Just a drink,” he had reassured her, “and a chat with someone who doesn’t refer to me as ‘the package’. Is that really an issue?”  
Warren had rolled her eyes at him and reluctantly agreed on the conditions that he stayed in the bar where she could watch him and he kept his mouth shut about operation bite-mark. Conditions Murphy was happy to comply with. Pretend what was happening, wasn’t happening. Easy.   
Now Warren was a woman that Murphy would have liked to have known in a different lifetime. She was strong willed, level headed and so fucking fierce. A natural leader, born to be in control of her surroundings. He bet she was a brilliant solider. He went back to watching 10k as he loaded a bolt nut into his slingshot. It pinged as the nut propelled from the truck, straight into the bullseye of its target, a Z’s forehead. Murphy often wondered to himself how 10k even got to be so good a shot. He was barely 20 years old and never missed what he was aiming for, not once. He compared himself to when he was 10k’s age, which albeit was bordering nearly 17 years ago, but he could recall it so well. Driving around in stolen cars with friends, laying on the grass and watching the stars as they shared beer and joints. Going to parties with the full intention of waking up in someone else’s bed. Being carefree and selfish, which Murphy had continued to be into his adulthood. With it only being him and his mother, he put himself first. He did what he wanted, when he wanted and who cared about the future? He was 20 at the time for god sake! 10k never got that opportunity. To rebel and explore himself, to make his own identity where adults could no longer dictate his life. 10k had never been to a party or even watched porn. His life was just beginning and the world had ended abruptly. The kid was born, learnt to use a gun, which was probably never meant to be more than a hobby, and then the zombie apocalypse. It was a sobering thought to Murphy, he had never expected himself to be grateful for enjoying his youth. To be glad he had the chance to be young. 

“Stop staring at me,” 10k instructed without even turning to face Murphy.  
“Who says I’m staring?” Murphy defended, amazed how the kid’s senses just knew he was being watched.   
“Just stop it,” he said, “it’s super creepy.”  
Murphy scoffed. He really did like the spunk this kid had. It was endearing on every level.  
“You know,” Murphy drawled out, daring to be more forward, “you could always take it as a compliment?”  
Murphy smirked, not being able to resist the satisfaction he got from hearing 10k clear his throat in an uncomfortable response.  
“I was always taught it was rude to stare,” 10k informed, cautiously checking that Doc was still snoring by his side.   
The sounds of a light whistle from beneath the blanket indicating that he was.   
“You’ve been staring at the wrong people,” Murphy concluded, pleased to see that 10k had lowered his slingshot and was now looking at him with narrowed, sapphirine eyes.   
He like being able to reign in the young mans attention, especially since he was so easily preoccupied with his thoughts or killing Z’s for his ridiculous math challenge. He liked having that sort of effect of him. It took Murphy a short while to realise what 10k was doing. He was barely blinking, the eye contact between them intense, crackling with an unspoken electricity. He was purposefully staring at Murphy. Provoking for a reaction.  
“You’re being rude,” Murphy curled his lips knowingly.   
“Take it as a compliment,” 10k smiled smugly.  
Murphy went to say something about accepting compliments but was disgruntled by the sudden lurch of the truck. They were bumped upwards, forcing them to hold onto the sides as the wheels crunched over an obstacle in the road. The familiar crunching and popping sounds as a Z was flattened by the weight of the truck. Murphy winced as the sound, hating the way Z’s were so easily perishable. It allowed him to dwell on his own mortality too much.   
Doc threw himself upright in a fright, his silver scraggly hair wild around his startled face.   
“Holy smokes man!” Doc exclaimed, “thought it was a damn earthquake!”  
Both Murphy and 10k were smiling in amusement at Doc’s sleep deprived rambling. As much as Murphy was fond of the old hippy, he couldn’t help but feel deflated that his little one on one with 10k was disturbed. He wanted to uncross his leg and jab his booted foot into Doc’s leg, but of course he didn’t. 10k had gone back to scanning the passing scenery for something to aim at. Murphy sighed and was forced to accept that was as much interaction he was going to get for tonight.   
He lifted his hand above his head and wrapped his knuckles on the back window to the cabin. The glass slid open, Addy’s sleepy eyes looking down at Murphy’s dark hand.  
“This better not be another knock, knock joke?” Addy yawned.  
“The package needs a piss,” Murphy called up to her.  
“Hold it in!” Warren called from the drivers seat.  
“You heard the boss lady,” Addy leant forward so she could rub the top of his roughly, shaven head.  
Murphy exhaled with annoyance, flaring his nostrils. He needed to pee.  
“I’m pissing over the side,” he announced, chuckling to himself at 10k’s horrified expression.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV
> 
> 10k and Murphy have a little conversation during a supply run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya,
> 
> I know it’s a slow burner but please bare with me. I don’t like diving straight into the good stuff without a bit of build up!
> 
> Being on lockdown has given me some extra time so I will probably post quite regularly so we will get there, I promise :)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Enjoy :)

10k was in his position on top of the truck. His back facing the looted store windows, his rifle aimed as he watched his friends shield themselves behind abandoned cars, weapons at the ready, through his trusty scope. He covered Warren and Addy as they swept across the body littered streets, popping open every gas cover they came across. No luck so far. He briefly repositioned his rifle so that he could watch Doc and Vasquez crab crawl their way around two collided vans. All clear. He flicked back to Addy and Warren, both scavenging from the boot of an overturned convertible. The town was pretty quite from what he could observe. Apart from the faint sounds of snarling and gurgling Z’s somewhere in the distance but not anywhere close enough for him to be overly concerned. He scoped the area again, this time with his eyes and not the scope, allowing him to have a wider view.  
Where the fuck was Murphy?  
The bastard was bright blue, how could he have lost him?  
The worrying prospect that maybe Murphy had given the group the slip in order to escape his fate at California entered his mind. He preyed that whatever decency Murphy possessed would stop him from doing that. The whole mission required Murphy. The survival of the entire planet revolved around that egocentric asshole... and 10k has lost him on a basic supply run.  
How mortifying.  
His eyes flitted across the street, Doc and Vasquez high-fiving each other, indicating that they had found something of worth. Addy and Warren were stashing handfuls of bullets in their bags. No sign of Murphy. He sighed inwardly, not daring to breath out again. It wasn’t only the thought of Murphy fleeing from his responsibilities that had his chest wound up so tight. What if he never saw him again? What if their shared cigarette in the back of the truck that morning was the last time he would feel Murphy’s callus fingers against his as they exchanged their source of nicotine? What if Murphy just left without even thinking of him?  
He cursed himself for being so selfish. His schoolboy crush was no where near as vital to humanity as Murphy’s blood, the potential cure. He heard Addy cry out, quickly adjusting his rifle he located Addy and Warren almost immediately. Addy was clutching at her chest, laughing whilst Warren was pointing an aggressive finger on one hand and raised handgun at the perpetrator with the other, her face appearing more than unimpressed. A tall man wearing a rubber clown mask with tufts of blue and red hair sprouting out of it was holding his blue hands in the air in surrender. Warren snatched the mask from his head roughly and threw it to the ground. 

Murphy.

He was visibly amused. Chuckling with pure immaturity as Addy pretended to swing her Z whacker at him. 10k tried to suppress his relieved smile as he observed them from a distance. As Warren stormed off to the next car, Addy slapped him hard on the chest. Obviously quite hard because Murphy jumped back from the contact. He stood there for a moment after they walked off, hands in his trouser pockets and a juvenile grin on his face, his foot kicking the clown mask aside. He was pleased with his antics. Then he started gazing around his surroundings, looking for some way to entertain himself no doubt. He wasn’t one for worrying about if they had gas or ammunition, he was the package and he had people doing all the survival stuff for him and it wasn’t like he had to be worried about the Z’s.  
10k wasn’t sure how that made him feel. The way the Z’s knew Murphy was different. The unnerving way they followed him like lost puppies hoping to have found their mother or decaying disciples of a false prophet. They would just stand and stare at him, baring their teeth and gargling. Waiting patiently for a command with dead eyes. In one respect it was impressive, the way he could stroll with ease past a crowd of the dead and in another way it was terrifying. It was unnatural and eerie watching him stride through them like Moses parting the Red Sea. Lost in the unsettling thought, it took 10k a moment to recognise that Murphy was watching him from the street.  
“Shit,” he whispered to himself, embarrassed that he had been seen ogling by the very person he was ogling at.

Murphy winked a speckled eye at 10k, wanting him to see it as an official acknowledgement that he had been caught. Shamefaced, 10k twitched his fingers, the tension building in his hands from griping his weapon too tight.  
He swiftly redirected his scope to Vasquez who was filling up a gas can. Heat spreading up 10k’s neck from under his collar as he tried to focus on something else. Anything else. He was watching Doc light a joint with a zippo lighter he had acquired from a nearby car. He liked how the simple things were enough for Doc. He puffed away happily on his wide smoke, chattering away to Vasquez who Doc’s ramblings were clearly lost on. His expression confused with a raised eyebrow.  
“Why aren’t you a little peeping Tom,” Murphy’s gruff voice said lowly from beside the truck.  
10k pursed his lips together in a tight line, not taking his eye away from the scope. He couldn’t face him, he was going to verbally tear him to shreds if 10k allowed him to see how red-faced he had become.  
“I don’t know what that means,” 10k huffed truthfully.  
Sometimes he wasn’t certain if he had just lived a sheltered life or if Murphy was showing his age.  
“A curtain twitcher?” Murphy tried again.  
10k didn’t respond, he was completely clueless to what Murphy was hinting at.  
He heard an exasperated sigh, the sound causing the hairs on the back of his neck to prickle.  
“A pervert?” Murphy snickered as 10k turned to face him with a raised eyebrow and a pinkish imprint around his eye from leaning against the scope to hard.  
“Me?” 10k was genuinely shocked, he had never been called anything close to a pervert in his life.  
He was always the ‘naive’ one.  
The ‘inexperienced’ one.  
The butt of most of the teams jokes when they were sparing a few minutes to raise their spirits with wisecracks. Not that 10k minded, it was nice to finally experience the warmth of belonging to a group.  
Even if it was at his expense.  
Murphy’s eyes were roaming across 10k’s willowy body. Yes, he appeared tall and slender but there was a serious amount of strength underneath all that makeshift armour. Murphy’s teasing smile no longer as wide, it was replaced with something more animalistic, too much teeth being bared. 10k felt vulnerable under the gaze, making him fight to maintain his cool composure. 

“Don’t pretend that you weren’t checking me out through that little lens of yours,” Murphy’s voice was low and seductive, flustering 10k with every over pronunciation of each word.  
He directed his attention back to the street, content to see his other four companions still alive and busy rummaging through the cars and shop window displays, 10k took advantage of the quite opportunity to be alone with Murphy.  
“I don’t know what you’re going on about,” 10k denied, sliding down from the roof of the car so he landed next to Murphy in one swift, feline movement. He selected a cigarette from his box and lit it. It kept his hands busy, a welcome distraction from the carnal gaze that was radiating from Murphy’s fragmented eyes.  
“Sure you don’t kid,” Murphy took a few steps closer to 10k, closing the gap between them before leaning against the cool surface of the truck.  
10k inhaled deeply on the cigarette, his eyes locked on how Murphy’s boot was no more than a millimetre apart from his own. He liked this game.  
Who would back away first? Who was going to be the coward that retracted their foot? Or the bold one who took it a step further? It was more than often Murphy that was the initiator of the escalation of this game. Not that it had ever gone very far, much to 10k’s disappointment. They were never really alone and 10k often bunked with Addy whenever a proper bed was available. Ever since Mack died he didn’t like the thought of her sleeping alone, not when she was so familiar to having the security of a body sleeping beside her. 10k was an only child but imagined if he had of had a sister, their bond would have resembled the one he had with Addy. Murphy had made some snide comments about the sleeping arrangements. Bitching about sharing with Doc who’s feet smell and snores like an oncoming train, according to Murphy. It always made 10k smile because he had a hunch that he knew the real reason he wanted to swap sleeping partners.  
He was just a little over half way through the cigarette before offering it out to Murphy. A small wave of confidence flooded through him as he retracted the cigarette just before Murphy’s fingers could catch it. Murphy raised his eyebrows at 10k’s mild amusement. As he handed it back, Murphy accepted the burning cigarette, perching it between his lips with one hand and grabbing 10k’s wrist with the other. Surprised, 10k attempted to pull away which only made Murphy tug him closer. The cigarette still lazily hanging from his mouth as he gaged 10k’s reaction. Externally his sharp featured face remained relaxed and confident, but under the surface of this facade he was a quivering wreck.  
‘Holy fuck,’ he gushed in his mind.  
The skin on his wrist was burning from Murphy’s touch. He was just inches away from Murphy’s body. He was well filled out, he could have possibly been quite toned or even muscular when he was a younger man, but age had altered this as it does many things. 10k knew it was more than looks that intrigued him to Murphy. The way he was leaning against the truck with one foot against the door, smoking the cigarette so nonchalantly yet his hold on 10k was so possessive. Powerful. The tension between them dominated the air.  
“Ain’t ya’ going to sass me about how you could put me on my ass?” Murphy asked, his eyes squinted with curiosity.  
10k could barely concentrate enough to slow his heart rate down, let alone make words that made any sense come out of his dry mouth. He simply shook his head.  
“Someone’s got daddy issues,” Murphy smirked, his thumb starting to draw small circles on 10k’s wrist.  
10k’s saw his Pa’s face flash behind his eyes. The face were he was laid, dying on the ground as the virus invaded his body. The face where he weakly begged 10k to mercy him when he turned. The images that haunted him most dark nights. He went to pull away, his mood shifting from flirtatious to subdued, but Murphy tightened his grip.  
“I’m just playing kid,” Murphy said softly, his round about way of apologising even though he didn’t know what he had done.  
“You’re always playing,” 10k retorted, feeling Murphy leaning into his body.  
“I’ve had plenty of practice,” He almost whispered, 10k shivered slightly from the warmth of Murphy’s breath on his ear.

Loud snarling and the sound of dragging feet were suddenly audible.  
Too audible.  
10k snatched his hand back and nimbly leapt onto the roof of the truck. He positioned his rifle as quickly as he could and hastily searched for his friends. He could see a trio of Z’s heaving their lifeless limbs towards where Doc and Vasquez were smoking and arranging their rucksacks. It was a matter of seconds before three rapid successions of bullets whooshed through the air, skimming over the top of Doc’s shining bald spot and straight in between each of the Z’s temples. They collapsed to the ground like puppets having their strings detached.  
Doc turned to face where he knew 10k was watching and raised two grateful thumbs up.  
“1319,” 10k counted.  
A ritual he had started when this whole shit show began. The entire reason for his name. Each one he killed, each one he counted, added up to him being a better, more worthy version of himself. His initial purpose in this bleak outbreak. Then he was recruited to operation bite mark and found himself another reason to survive. The mission. The cure. Murphy.  
He looked down from his position on the roof to see the top of Murphy’s head. He hadn’t moved an inch.  
“Sure hope that’s just your Z count and not your body count,” he quipped, “I don’t fancy being 1320.”  
10k snorted, still looking out for anymore Z’s.  
“There’s always time,” he reminded Murphy whilst tapping the side of his rifle with his trigger finger.  
He then spotted a lone Z staggering along the pavement in the distance from where Warren was feeding a hose into a petrol cap.  
“I wonder if you fantasise about putting a bullet in my brain as much as you do about blowing me?” Murphy pondered aloud.  
10k squeezed the trigger as his heart skipped an excitable beat. The Z slumped backwards into the window display of the fancy dress store as Murphy wondered off into the street towards the others.  
“1320,” 10k muttered under his breath, “asshole.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a herd approaching the group need to take shelter.
> 
> Murphy POV.

“You need to take immediate cover, I repeat immediate cover,” Citizen Z’s voice crackled over the radio, “a ginormous herd is approaching from the West, Warren, I repeat, it’s Citizen Z, take cover ASAP.”  
Even though the signal was weak, Murphy could hear the urgency in his voice.  
He inquisitively leant over the side window of the passenger seat to take a look in the extended wing mirror. An unceasingly dense cloud of dust was in the distance, rolling forwards with staggering figures roaming ghostly from inside the sandstorm. He sighed and flung his head back forcefully into the headrest.  
‘Just one day without any drama, was it too much ask?’ He thought bitterly.  
It was only in the early hours of that morning he had Vasquez brandishing his handgun at him. Accusing him of trying to escape the mission when in actuality he was just going for a whizz. Apparently privacy was a luxury he didn’t qualify for, being the package and all.  
“Right, ok change of plan,” Warren barked in her authoritarian tone, one that Murphy secretly appreciated.  
He rolled his eyes at the inconvenience of it all. He finally got to sit in the cabin and not out in the back of the truck like some farmyard hound and the journey was about to be cut short. His eyes flickered back to wing mirror where he could see the back of 10k’s head. His raven hair swept back from the wind, his bandana barely holding it’s place. He slyly repositioned the wing mirror view, trying to be descreet so Vasquez didn’t notice from behind him. 10k was kneeling at the end of the cargo bed, his weapon resting by his side. Even though Murphy couldn’t see 10k’s face, he would have put easy money in him staring at the herd with a bewildered expression. Addy and Doc were sitting close to 10k. Their heads also facing the impending storm. Murphy acknowledged the way 10k’s legs were bent in that knelt position, his backside resting against the heels of his large, leather boots. Murphy longed to see 10k in that same position but from a different angle and most definitely not from the reflection of a wing mirror.  
“Murphy! Come on man answer me!” Warren snapped, bringing Murphy back to the cabin of the truck and away from his little fantasy.  
“What? What?” He exclaimed, realising Warren was asking a question.  
“That building!”She instructed as if that was enough information for Murphy to know what he was supposed be doing.  
It was her turn to roll her eyes with frustration at his confusion,  
“Is it a hotel dumbass?”  
Murphy snorted as he strained to see the red lettering on a building in the distance.  
Sure enough in big, steel letters the word ‘hotel’ was spelt vertically down the side it’s wall.  
“Sure is boss,” he reported.  
Warren nodded as she sharply turned the steering wheel.

They scrambled on top of a dumpster in the parking lot attempting to prise open a small window after finding the front doors barricaded shut. The crowd of Z’s was only half a dozen, but with the sounds of the herd gaining ever closer, the race to get shelter was on. Vasquez was first up, using his muscles to push the sliding glass to one side. Murphy was standing in front of the dumpster, his feet planted to the ground as he held out his hand toward the complainant Z’s. They stood like mindless spectators, swaying and grinding their gore filled mouths.  
“Just stay! Stay!” Murphy instructed, his mind aching as he used his energy to telepathically control them.  
It was an exhausting task. His temples throbbed from the amount of concentration he had to put into it. He felt as though he was staring at a word on a page for too long, when your eyes start to strain and you start to consider the possibility that it wasn’t even a real word you were trying to read all along. He could hear the group shouting at one another as they pulled and lifted each other up the wall to their new found entrance. Murphy caught the vacant eyes of a blonde Z. She could not have been any older 30 years old, her nurses uniform caked in black grime and ancient blood. Her eyes were completely white, glazed over with a shine that resembled polished marbles. She was sniffing the air desperately, begging Murphy with her misted gaze to let her chase after Doc who was hanging haphazardly halfway out the window, his legs kicking as though in water.  
“Don’t look at me like that,” Murphy told her with a tedious sigh, “I can’t just let you eat them, I know it seems unfair but I just can’t.”  
The Z tilted her head like a listening puppy. This only aggravated Murphy more. He knew they couldn’t help it. The urge to tear flesh from bone and devour the brains of those living. It was just their new hardwiring. It wasn’t their fault they were having to do this. It was their means of survival. Just like the way he had seen operation bite-mark. He had no choice but to stick with them because, in the beginning, they were the only way he could see himself making it through this disaster. He felt he understood the Z’s. Being forced into the role of ‘bad guy.’ It was similar to him being forced into the role of ‘saviour of humanity.’  
No one asked for it. It just was.  
He found it strange how he felt himself empathising with a corpse when he had struggled to empathise with most humans his entire life. Typical.  
“Murphy,” he heard 10k summon, “Murphy you’re gonna have to boost me up and I’ll find a door to open for you. I can’t reach it.”  
“If I take my concentration of these guys they are gonna charge at you like a track dog does a hare,” Murphy admitted through gritted teeth.  
“I don’t see how else we’re getting in,” 10k said after a moment of deliberation.  
“Seriously kid?” Murphy groaned, trying with all his might to focus on both keeping the Z’s at bay and listening to 10k.  
“I’ll come and pike a few then we won’t have this problem,” 10k offered.  
“No!” Murphy dismissed sternly, “no piking.”  
He had to think of an alternative and quickly before his trigger happy admirer got tiresome of trying to please him. He didn’t want the Z’s to just be things that were easily disposed of. He didn’t want to have that fear that one day, if his body finally caved in to the virus fully, he too would be so easily wiped from this earth.  
“Come on Murphy! We can’t be out here when the herd comes!” 10k insisted.  
“You mean you,” Murphy corrected, closing his eyes under the pressure building inside his head, “you can’t be out here.”  
“Is that what you want?” 10k snapped, his patience clearly thinning for the situation, “if you don’t give me a boost Im gonna be Z chow!”

Murphy didn’t want that. Not really. He may have joked about more than a few times. It was strange how the apocalypse made humour about murdering each other socially acceptable, but he didn’t mean it. Not with 10k at least.  
The inside of his skull felt like it was being mangled by a meat grinder. The tension in his head as though a fist was rubbing against the nerves of his brain. He couldn’t think straight and he definitely couldn’t hold out much longer.  
“Bollocks,” he cursed, “get off the dumpster we will find another way in.”  
“Why do you think we’re climbing through a window?” 10k asked, the sound of the oncoming herd growing thunderous.  
“Warren!” Murphy called up to the window, not daring to break eye contact with the Z’s, “go and open the front doors. Me and the kid will meet you there.”  
“On it!” She called back.  
Murphy waited until he felt 10k’s presence near his body before grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt and ordering him to run.  
The moment Murphy’s gaze left them the Z’s scuttled into action. Sure, this bunch wasn’t the fastest but if there was anything Murphy had learnt from his experience of the apocalypse it was to not underestimate anything or anyone. The minute you let yourself fall into that false sense of security, a great big Z shaped calamity would come and bite you on your unsuspecting ass. They made their way around the back of the hotel and noticed a metal set of stairs spiralling up to fire exit window. An unspoken agreement had them bounding up the stairs, two steps at a time, the snarling sounds emerging from around the corner. The dust from the herd sprinkling the air. Murphy laughed with relief when 10k pushed the window upwards, luckily for them no one had thought to lock it. 10k had to crouch a significant amount to get through the space, Murphy followed him through the window before slamming it shut and twisting it’s locking mechanism.  
He was breathless.  
‘Stupidly out of shape,’ he told himself as he leant against the wall to catch his breath, ‘He shouldn’t have been that winded from a sprint around the corner.’  
He glanced over to where 10k was standing. He was breathing heavily but not quite as dramatically as Murphy. He wore a mischievous smirk on his face as he observed Murphy with a lopsided tilt.

“What? You think this is funny?” Murphy raised his eyebrows as 10k shook his head over animatedly.  
In a moment the whole atmosphere had shifted. From being chased by Z’s that wanted to indulge on 10k’s youthful face as appetisers to that dangerously, flirtatious tension. The way 10k’s cheeks were flushed pink from the run, his hair wild and chest heavily rising and falling. The glint in his eyes that Murphy recognised as lust. Maybe it was the quick burst of adrenaline or just because they were alone together.  
“Just get your breath back, don’t want you having a heart attack,” 10k teased.  
‘Brilliant,’ Murphy thought. That was his green light to engage in a bit of provocative fun.  
He pushed himself up from where he was leaning and swaggered confidently to where 10k was stood. He inhaled to broaden his chest as he cornered 10k against the wall. Resting his large hands against the plasterboard behind both sides of 10k’s face. He left a few, tantalising inches between them. Murphy felt something inside him stir with satisfaction as 10k bit down on his lip and bowed his head with diffidence. Despite 10k having height, he wasn’t too tall for Murphy to lose any dominance. He leant his face in close to 10k’s earlobe and smiled. Pleased 10k didn’t move away.  
Murphy breathed heavily with the intention of 10k feeling it against his skin. “You not got a little wisecrack for me then?” Murphy purred, his mouth aching to press against the hot skin his lips had brushed over.  
He was greeted by the sound of 10k trying to swallow a nervous lump in his throat. Murphy lowered one of his hands from the wall and let his fingers trail a pathway along 10k’s collar bone. 10k’s breath hitched which only spurred Murphy on more.  
Imagine the reaction he would get if he touched some of his more sensitive parts.  
“What happened kid?” Murphy’s tone sickeningly smug, “thought you were a tough guy?”  
10k looked up at Murphy’s face from under his thick lashes, causing Murphy’s throat to rumble with a low growl.  
‘Wow,’ he thought, ‘for someone who’s so naive he sure knew how to play the game.’

“You like the sound of your own voice too much,” 10k managed to say through raggedy breaths.  
Murphy took the bait.  
Hook, line and sinker. He didn’t need much. He slammed his weight into 10k’s body, very much taking 10k by surprise. His eyes widened at the sudden contact as Murphy finally let their mouths connect. It took 10k a short while to relax into the kiss. Murphy had to use his hand to guide 10k’s head to move in motion with his. The taste of 10k’s mouth was sweet as their tongues pushed against one another in a rhythmic dance. This was the first time that Murphy truly appreciated how little exposure to any sexual encounter 10k had actually had. His hands were gingerly tethering at the hem of Murphy’s jacket and his body was hesitant of where it needed to be. Murphy was nearly ashamed to think how much he liked that. The kid who could kill anyone with anything, the same kid who could pick up any gun and shoot to kill his target was too insecure to put his hands on Murphy’s waist.  
Still needed to be told what he should be doing. He was like fresh clay and Murphy could mould him into any shape he desired him to be. The thought made him smile against 10k’s flushed lips. He adjusted 10k’s hands, directing them to his hips as he ground his pelvis against 10k’s.  
“Fuck,” 10k moaned as Murphy finally got to live out his fantasy of dragging his teeth across the side of 10k’s neck.  
It was just as good as he had imagined. He could feel 10k shuddering under his grasp.  
“10!” A familiar voice echoed from further along the corridor, “10k! Murphy! Are you up here?”

They broke apart, hastily trying to compose themselves as they anticipated Addy’s arrival.  
“There you guys are!” She beamed, pleased with her find, “I knew you guys wouldn’t have got stuck out there.”  
Murphy plastered on a fake smile at the red head. He had finally got 10k where he wanted him and they were rudely interrupted. Again.  
“We had to do some running,” 10k, not missing a beat, explained, “grandpa here needed a breather.”  
Cheek of it. Grandpa.  
Considering only a mere two minutes ago that ‘grandpa’ just had 10k being as hard as a rock. Murphy had felt it pressing against his thigh.  
“Still life in the old dog yet,” he insisted.  
“Good,” Addy started to walk back down the corridor, expecting them to follow her, which of course they did.  
“We got company downstairs,” she informed them, “so Murphy just keep your big mouth shut. I’m not going out there with that herd because you think you’re funny.”  
Murphy rolled his eyes and huffed which made Addy point the Z whacker at him. That thing was lethal and he didn’t like the way she was always pointing it at him.  
“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” he said whilst mockingly copying the scouts solute.  
“Seriously though, these lot are a bit jumpy so just let Warren do the talking,” Addy said as they made their way down a flight of stairs.  
‘Jumpy strangers?’ Murphy mused sarcastically, ‘what could possibly go wrong?’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k is reunited with a familiar face and is confronted with mixed emotions about Murphy.
> 
> 10k’s POV

10k was completely taken by surprise as a pair of brawny arms wrapped themselves around him. He stood, ridged and confused, as Nixon disengaged before patting him masculinely on the back. 10k was still trying to process his brief, yet intense, embrace with Murphy upstairs when they went to meet the others and the new strangers. He was avoiding making eye contact with him as the went down the stairs, afraid his face would give something away to Addy, who was actually oblivious. As they entered the dining area of the hotel, a long room with tables scattered around, 10k’s eyes were more than shocked to see Nixon.  
“No fucking way!” He had cheered with a wide, goofy grin, “Thomas?”  
10k has clutched his rifle, dumbfounded as the stocky, jock kid bundled him into a hug.  
10k was experiencing more physical contact in this day than he had in his previous 20 years. The over stimulation of his sense making him feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Once Nixon had released his grip and finished patting him, he threw his hands up into the air, along with his handgun, as a surrender.  
“Sorry Dude, I forgot you were socially crippled it’s just,” his autumn eyes dilated with excitement, “I’m so happy to see a familiar face in this shit storm man!”  
10k barely knew Nixon.  
His uncle had run the local firearm store that 10k and his Pa would often visit to restock or buy new fishing tackle that Nixon’s uncle stocked as a hobby. He and Nixon had exchanged awkward conversations about guns and hunting but 10k could never get the courage to talk about any other topic. He didn’t have the social skills or the general knowledge. He didn’t watch sports, so when Nixon tried to talk to him about a game, he was rendered clueless and that made him feel stupid. Especially when Nixon was so attractive. He would of had to have been blind to not have noticed Nixon’s football player physique and caramel tangles that hung to his shoulders. It just made it even harder for 10k to try and engage in a normal conversation, his eyes had always diverted to his feet. Things had changed a considerable amount since then. He wasn’t Thomas anymore. He was 10k.

“Nixon.. I... you’re alive,” he stumbled, his words not connecting fluidly.  
As soon as they left his mouth he wanted to cringe.  
‘You’re alive.’  
How blatantly obvious. His past social anxieties that he had been overcoming were suddenly creeping back. The antisocial, weird, gun kid, Thomas... not 10k. Not a member of operation bite-mark, aiding with mission ‘get Murphy to California’. Not the sharp shooter that tried to save lives and mercies Z’s.  
Nixon lowered his hands and shrugged,  
“Just pure luck my man, pure fucking luck. You on the other hand! If anyone was gonna survive a zombie apocalypse it was you!” He was still smiling.  
10k wondered how long it had been since Nixon had seen anyone he knew. How long he had been secretly hoping someone from their small, hick town had survived.  
“Is your uncle here?” 10k asked, scanning the trio of people behind Nixon. He didn’t recognise any of them.  
Nixon’s smile faded as he shook his head solemnly,  
“Just me. Your Pa?”  
10k felt his guts twinge with grief as he too shook his head.  
“I’m sorry dude,” Nixon said.  
“Me too,” 10k replied as they watched each other relive their bereavements.  
“Sorry to break up the reunion but you two know each other?” Vasquez asked, dragging 10k back into the present and out of the past.  
He had almost forgotten that the team were there, watching him.  
“Shit yeah, sorry,” 10k bumbled, “this is Vasquez, Warren, Doc, Addy and Murphy.”  
As he introduced them they all shook Nixon’s hand apart from Murphy. Who just glared at Nixon, arms folded against his chest, from the column he was leaning against. He left Nixon’s extended hand hanging empty in the air. 10k noticed that Murphy had an irritated expression on his face. A slight sneer on his lips and his eyes resentful. This was the first time since he met Murphy that 10k could distinguish that this was his look of jealousy. 

10k was forcefully smashing the hammer against the nail into the wood. His thoughts distracted by how surreal the situation was. Nixon had offered to help 10k board up some of the upper story windows. Which, although he was grateful, earned 10k daggers from Murphy’s direction. In all honesty, it was starting to piss him off. He didn’t own 10k. No one owned 10k. He slammed the hammer down, nailing the last bit of wood across the window. They had one kiss for Christ sake and what? Was that Murphy’s way of staking a claim? Of telling 10k that he now his property? He couldn’t deny how intoxicating that kiss had been. He had never felt so wanted in his life. The way Murphy felt so heavy against his body, his mouth surprisingly supple as it explored the crevasses of his neck. 10k had also never felt so callow either. He was so exhilarated that they were finally doing more than teasing each other that he completely lost the ability to use his body. He didn’t know where Murphy would want him to touch him. Where were you supposed to put your hands when you kissed someone? Just because 10k was fond of Murphy didn’t give him permission to be an asshole... well.. more of an asshole than usual. As 10k glanced in Nixon’s direction where he was sawing another board, 10k wondered what he was letting himself into with Murphy. Was Murphy even gay? He had seen him flirt and get carried away with women through their journey, so was 10k just a convenient pass time? Was he just looking to get it all out of his system before his fate in California? What would happen when he even got to California? Would 10k be left heavy-hearted and pining over a man that he would most likely never see again? And for what? Nixon caught 10k’s eyes and smiled.  
“I know right,” he rolled his eyes, “if you would have told me I would be doing this 4 years ago I would have never believed you.”  
10k agreed. He hadn’t really made many plans for the future. He wasn’t exactly bright enough for college and he didn’t really have any friends or family to guide him anywhere. Really the apocalypse did him a favour. Gave him a sense of direction and worth that he never had in the old world.  
“You’re so different from how I saw you in the store,” Nixon observed.  
“Yeah?” 10k answered, not entirely sure where this was going.  
“Man, I’m not trying to offend but your were a bit of a dork, all socially awkward and shit,” Nixon admitted which made 10k nod his head with amusement.  
“But you’re not like that at all are you? You and those people, I mean, wow, it’s like you guys were born for this.”  
10k chuckled at the suggestion. They were thrown together by circumstance. Warren and Vasquez had the military and the police force in their backgrounds. Addy and Doc were quick learners and adapted quickly. Murphy was a convict and 10k a hunter. He never even questioned why he saved Doc that day on the roof, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time. That last bit humanity they had was to try not to kill each other. If he hadn’t of got involved he wouldn’t be here now. With Murphy.  
“We’re just doing what you’re doing,” 10k deduced, “we’re all just doing what we gotta do to survive.”  
10k felt Nixon’s eyes as they scanned over 10k’s weathered attire,  
“Yeah but you look like a badass doing it.”

10k had to stop himself from bursting into laughter. A badass. Amazing how pre-Z he was a gun wielding dork and now he was a badass. Nixon chortled too as he threw a board to 10k. A loud, dry cough disturbed their conversation. From over his shoulder 10k could see Murphy smoking a cigarette.  
“You boys seem to be having fun,” Murphy acknowledged with that appealing smirk he naturally wore.  
10k felt his body tense as though he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been.  
‘How ridiculous,’ 10k scolded himself.  
“You alright?” 10k asked as casually as he could muster.  
“Thought you might fancy this,” Murphy extended his burning cigarette.  
It was strange how they had become so accustomed to sharing that they actively sought the other out in order to not break their unspoken arrangement or maybe that was just an excuse. He accepted the cigarette and with that Murphy put his hands in his pockets and walked away. It left 10k a little disappointed but with Nixon being present he didn’t know what he was expecting.  
“So can I ask the obvious question?” Nixon asked, “why is that guy blue?”  
“Vitamin deficiency,” 10k lied causing Nixon to frown but he didn’t press any further.  
The unmistakable sound of Z’s growling and shuffling were clear from outside the hotel walls. The noises were intensified by their larger numbers. For a brief moment, 10k was relieved he couldn’t see their ghoulish faces. He just needed two minutes to sort his head out. Then he remembered he knew how to do that. How to push his noisy thoughts to the sidelines and clear his overworking mind. He moved over the the last window that needed boarding up and retrieved his sling shot from his pocket. He loaded it with a spare nail and assessed the size of the herd. Like sardines crammed into a tin, they bustled along hungrily shoulder to shoulder. He aimed his slingshot at a Z that was a few metres away.  
‘Thwack.’  
It fell to the ground as the sharp end of the nail penetrated it’s skull and was immediately lost underneath the herds trawling feet.  
‘Thwack.’  
‘Thwack.’  
‘Thwack.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this isn’t the most exciting chapter but I felt that was needed. 
> 
> And Nixon is an original character, not related to Z Nation. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy doesn’t suit Murphy.
> 
> Murphy’s POV

Fuck this.  
Fuck this place.  
Fuck the herd.  
Fuck the mission.  
Fuck California.  
Fuck the human race.  
Especially that kid.  
Especially 10k.

Murphy was seething as he paced around one of the small hotel rooms. The herd was groaning as they swamped the streets like a foul smelling flood.  
“Do you ever shut up?” He shouted at them through the wall, “gaaarrr I’m hungry gaaarr! ... We’re all hungry! Change the fucking record!”  
It was day two of the shut in with those people and he was loosing his patience. Warren kept telling him to behave himself like he was a petulant child who couldn’t control himself, which he would allow her to assume occasionally, but not every ten minutes! Vasquez, the macho moustache douche, kept telling him when and where he could go piss like his personal toilet guard. That stupid kid, Dixon? Nixon, whatever his bloody name was and his band of dreary losers were doing his head in. One of them actually asked if she could pray for them? Pray for them? Murphy didn’t feel like he was in any of the God’s good books and if he wasn’t before he definitely wasn’t now. Even Addy had snorted with disbelief. Nixon kept following 10k around like a shadow.  
‘I’ll help you load that Thomas..’  
‘I’ll come with you if you want Thomas..’  
‘I’ll wipe your ass for you Thomas..’  
It was starting to grind on his last, very raw, nerve. What was getting to him more was the fact that 10k was being off with him. He wasn’t engaging in their usual flirty banter and was adamant he was going to share with Addy even though they were in a hotel with three flights of rooms. He had sulked off by himself after loosing yet another game of poker against Doc.  
‘His head wasn’t in the game,’ he convinced himself, ‘and it didn’t help that 10k and that kid were stripping down their weapons and having a nice little chit chat about it.’  
It was distracting his focus. As he stormed off he felt 10k’s eyes follow him out of the room.  
What was happening to him?  
‘Saviour of humanity’ being jealous of some teenager.  
Pathetic. 

He tried to concentrate on his breathing. He had experimented with meditation during his stint in prison. He needed to find more accessible methods of clearing his mind and calming his thoughts. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, instantly regretting it as the stench of the rotting flesh from outside filled his nostrils.  
“Dead bastards ruin everything,” he sighed, dragging his hands down his face.  
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and huffed with defeatism. His eyes were several shades of yellow, almost luminous against his skin, a shade of delft blue. His hair was attempting to grow again, as was his beard. His shirt was disheveled and stained. He looked... old. He felt old. It was no wonder 10k was entertaining Nixon. He was fresh faced and young. A bit dim but what did that matter when you’re built to play football? Murphy wondered if 10k was just trying his luck with him. He knew Murphy was interested in him and since you can’t afford to fussy in the apocalypse settled with what was available? He was a red blooded young male, he probably would have jumped Doc eventually in desperation. Wouldn’t he? Murphy knew deep down that wasn’t 10k’s style. The kid would rather die a Virgin than be rejected. He wasn’t self assured enough to throw himself at just anyone. But he did to Murphy?  
Murphy groaned. His meditation completely out the window and his thoughts on a tandrum, he decided to at least change his clothes. There were two suitcases that had been abandoned from another life in the bottom of the wardrobe. Inside one was women’s dresses and high heels. As much as he revelled of the idea of a woman wearing the skimpy, red dress he had unpacked he didn’t think it would do much for his figure. He tried the next case where he found men’s attire. Nothing as flash as he was hoping for, he would have tried his luck with the dress if it wasn’t for the fact it was two sizes too small rather than the faded jeans and polo shirt combo.  
‘Who wore this and thought it looked good?’ He thought as he searched for a colour that wasn’t blue. He didn’t need to add to his ‘papa smurf’ vibe. He settled with the one white dress shirt that was folded at the bottom of the case. Obviously an emergency shirt in case the owner needed to go somewhere fancier than polo shirt wear. He unbuttoned his once green shirt, now a dirt sodden brown, and examined his torso. 

“Esh,” he recoiled at the sight of the gnarly scars. Memories of being trapped on the steel table in the lab as his fellow inmates tore at his body with their bare teeth. The agony and trauma replayed every time he saw his own body. He titled his head as he exhaled.  
“What a mess,” he muttered tearing off the shirt of and tossing it to the ground.  
When he turned to retrieve the new shirt he was stunned to see 10k standing in the door way.  
“Shit,” he cursed, “you can’t just go around sneaking up on people!”  
“I .. I’m sorry .. I was just..” 10k was stammering, his eyes drawn to Murphy’s chest even though he was fighting to look at Murphy’s face.  
Murphy thought he would have felt self conscious about him seeing his grisly disfigurements and yet there was something about the way 10k not reacting in disgust that made Murphy more comfortable.  
“Your younger model left you alone for a minute huh?” He jibbed making no effort to cover up just yet.  
10k rolled his eyes and took a few steps forward, closing the door behind him.  
“Jealousy is not a good look on you,” 10k informed him. Making Murphy internally slap himself for being so bloody obvious.  
“Jealous? Me?” He scoffed, “of the twink jock? Nope, your flattering yourself.”  
10k sat his rifle on the bed as he shook his head. He’s eyes absorbed the sight of Murphy’s body once more, his gaze lingering over each bite mark.  
“You saving that for your wank bank or what?” Murphy said a little too harshly, turning to face the other way to put the shirt on. He couldn’t blame the kid for looking, it was a pretty brutal sight.  
“Will you just shut up?” 10k said as he placed a warm hand on Murphy’s shoulder.  
The contact of his skin making Murphy prickle with excitement.  
He turned to face 10k, realising then how close he in fact was. 10k was visibly anxious, his bottom lip being chewed and his hands twitching. He was trying to initiate something but didn’t quite know how to do it. Murphy enjoyed watching him trying to figure it out.  
“I don’t like Nixon, well, not like that,” he started, his eyes looking at a patch of wallpaper behind Murphy’s head, unable to meet his eyes, “not the way I like you.”

This wasn’t like any conversation they had exchanged before. The jest missing from his tone, his voice filled with novice and nerves. He cautiously placed his hands on Murphy’s ribs, waiting for a reaction to tell him if he should continue or not. Murphy didn’t respond, curious as to what 10k was trying to do. His heart was beating frantically as 10k’s spindly fingers traced tenderly along the solidified gouges. His touch was delicate as though he were trying to earn the trust of a suspicious stray. Murphy couldn’t recall a time where he had been touched like that. So sensitively with the full purpose of someone wanting to get to know him, like he was this precious thing that needed to be reassured and comforted and not just for the satisfaction of a cheap romp. Murphy placed his hands on 10k’s hips and rested his forehead against 10k’s where he could feel the rough fabric of his bandana.  
“I like all of you Murphy,” 10k admitted, his cheeks turning a tinge of pink.  
‘Wow,’ Murphy thought, ‘he isn’t settling for me. He choosing me. What a sweet, sweet, idiot.’  
Murphy used his thumb and finger to lift 10k’s chin, his sky coloured eyes being forced to look at his face. His bottom lip plumped from where he had been chewing on it, mouth slightly apart from trying to maintain his breathing.  
Murphy hadn’t seen anybody quite this handsomely vulnerable. Someone who made being honest look so attractive. He ran his thumb across 10k’s lips and thought about how much he wanted that mouth to do.  
“I like you too kid,” Murphy confessed before he had even made up his mind what this little thing between them was or was going to be. But it wasn’t a lie, that much was true. He did really, really like 10k. The way he was two people. The one that shot Z’s and had to ask Doc who Madonna was and the one who was caressing his scars with his hands and radiating submissiveness. He liked the way the kid laughed and how he ran into danger like he was invincible. He liked the way he smiled when he thought no one was looking just as much as the way he scowled. He liked how he had tasted when they kissed...  
Shit.  
Murphy liked him a lot more than he realised.  
Murphy needed to break the silence between them, worried he might be exposing his thoughts,  
“Does this mean your finally gonna blow me now?”  
10k grinned, allowing Murphy’s hands to guide his own to his belt.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy’s POV

It had been a chaotic few days once they departed from the hotel and the herd had finally passed. Murphy contemplated the events as he watched 10k sleeping next to him in the Cargo bed. His body curled like a foetus around his rifle. It was the first time Murphy had seen 10k look relaxed since they left. They had been saying their farewells to the church folk in the hotel when Nixon was bitten.  
Fuck did the kid scream.   
Half a corpse had dragged its self from underneath a turned over jeep and snapped its jaws tightly around the kids ankle. Murphy had never seen 10k move so fast. He put his boot straight through the Z’s softened skull as he launched it off Nixon. Bits of teeth and bone still lodged into the ankle.   
“Not a kid,” Doc had mumbled miserably to himself.   
Warren was examining the wound while the lady who Nixon was travelling with cradled him in her arms. Sobbing the Lord’s Prayer. It was a grim moment, even for Murphy. They all knew what this meant. 10k had already drawn his dagger, his eyes wet with withheld tears.  
“Dude,” Nixon hissed through his teeth, “it’s ok. Just make it quick, I don’t wanna be like that.”  
Murphy watched in admirable awe as 10k nodded his head as he knelt to the ground. He wasn’t sure he would of been able to have killed someone he knew back when he was twenty.   
“If I see your Pa, I’ll tell him you’re doing alright,” Nixon had grabbed the lady’s arm fiercely as well as 10k’s hand.  
Before anyone could say anything else 10k stabbed the dagger deep into the centre of Nixon’s pretty face. The woman had howled in an anguish you could only understand if you have lost someone close to you.   
“He don’t mess around,” Addy had observed, almost in a whisper.  
“He’s grown up with everything around him either dying or being dead. Can’t blame him for not wanting to drag it out,” Doc had rationalised.   
10k was silent for the rest of that day.  
Then the day after that they had been attacked by robbers. A poor choice of victims, Murphy had thought, as Warren was in no mood play around after loosing her temper during the ordeal of having to stop to repair a flat tire. They drove past the thieves as they bled out from their gun shot wounds.

10k had been withdrawn and sullen looking, the apocalypse was taking its toll on him recently. His eyes sporting dark circles around them and his voice was fly and tired. Murphy had wanted to comfort him, reassure him it was all going to work out but he didn’t know how to approach the young man without getting his head kicked in. He wished he had learnt to be a normal person, able to express his feelings and show compassion without making an insensitive joke or using his body. He never had anyone to teach him how to behave like a proper gentleman. Damn, his own daddy issues were still present even now, nearly 40 years on. Addy was resting her head in the creases of 10k’s knee’s. Her eyes closed but Murphy wasn’t convinced she was in a deep sleep. He watched as 10k’s brows furrowed in his sleep, he was obviously dreaming about something unpleasant. Murphy’s arms were folded beneath the blanket, he took a risk and let one hand trace along the nape of 10k’s neck. He couldn’t help but sneak a quick smile as he gently brushed the fabric of 10k’s scarf to reveal the mauve hickeys. God, he had enjoyed giving him those. He could still hear 10k in his ear, breathlessly begging him not to bite him... but also not to stop. Murphy wouldn’t of broken the skin, not purposely anyway. He didn’t want to control every aspect for the kid, where was the challenge in that? Having control was Murphy’s motivation for most of the things he had done in his life and yes there had been some hiccups along the journey with Murphy biting people but he didn’t feel the temptation to do that to 10k. It would ruin whatever it was that attracted Murphy to him.   
That determination, that defiance, that urge to survive.  
10k looked even younger when he was sleeping. His features less tense and his hair knotted and wild. It was difficult to imagine 10k not being so intense and brooding. Murphy had tried to visualise what 10k would have been like if he had met him before the apocalypse. Would it have been the same? 

“So it was you,” a voice whispered from the cargo bed.  
Murphy retracted his hand and turned to see Addy’s ocean eyes staring at him cooly, her head still on 10k’s legs.  
‘Shit,’ he thought.  
“Pardon?” Is what what he said.   
“The hickeys and the fact he came back to the room stinking of sweat and shame,” Addy was searching Murphy’s face for a reaction, “it was you, wasn’t it?”  
Murphy sighed and shrugged his shoulders,  
“So what if it was?”  
Addy rolled her wide eyes and blew a strand of red hair from her face before whispering,  
“Murphy!  
The expression of suspicion was clear all over her face. She may of learnt to embrace his quirks, maybe even grown to like him, but she still didn’t trust him. That much was obvious.  
“What’s the issue?” He almost hissed, amazed how he was having to explain himself to her,  
“Just because it’s the end of the world doesn’t mean everyone has to stop having fun.”  
“Is that what it is? Just fun?” Addy raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. Murphy had been in hysterics when he had first caught Addy and 10k with a pair of tweezers acting as though they were about to feature in ‘dystopian vogue.’  
“Why does it matter?” He asked, checking that 10k was still asleep.  
“Because you’re you and 10k is 10k,” her eyes piercing, “everyone will think your taking advantage of him.”  
Murphy had to stifle a bitter laugh. It was just typical that he would be painted to be this manipulative fuck. That he couldn’t possibly have genuine feelings and that 10k was so sheltered and innocent he couldn’t actually like a crook like Murphy willingly.   
“I’m not some cradle snatcher,” he defended, “you know this kid right? He could mercy me in a heartbeat.”  
Addy smiled weakly as she closed her eyes again,  
“Just don’t be a dick like you always are.”

The morning Murphy groaned as he stretched his back when he jumped out the back of the truck. You would think he would be used to sleeping in such uncomfortable conditions by now but he wasn’t. He twisted his neck so it cracked loudly.   
“Alright ol’ man?,” Warren jested as she too stretched out her shoulders.  
“I prefer the term matured,” Murphy yawned, his body aching.  
“Well you do look like a certain form of cheddar,” Doc called from the back of the truck as he slipped on his boots.  
“One more blue cheese joke and I swear I’m gonna bite you,” Murphy warned.  
Addy jumped out of the back of the truck and eyed him up as she pulled her hair into a short ponytail.  
“You kinky son of a bitch,” Doc chortled making Addy waggle her eyebrows at him playfully.   
“Where’s the piss patrol?” Murphy’s way for asking where Vasquez was.  
“Asleep,” Warren answered.  
“I’m going into those bushes there for some privacy,” Murphy explained, “if Vasquez wakes up please discourage him from charging after me with a gun.”  
“He’ll go mad if you go alone,” Addy said.  
“So what? I’m supposed to hold it until Sargent Slash says so?” Murphy exclaimed.  
10k stomped in his heavy boots around the corner of the truck, his rifle perched lazy on his shoulder. He started walking towards the bushes before stopping to look at Murphy,  
“Do you wanna piss yourself or what?”  
He started walking into the trees, Murphy didn’t have to think twice about following.

“I do love it when you get all bossy,” Murphy smirked as he found a tree that he deemed worthy to urinate on.   
A sigh of relief as he felt his bladder become empty. He looked over his shoulder to see 10k had his face turned away which made Murphy smile.  
“You don’t have to be so polite 10, it’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.”  
10k flushed as he dropped his rifle to his side. As Murphy approached 10k he stood his ground, face casual and unbothered. Murphy could see 10k was adamant not to wilt, he had been wallowing in his own self pity for three days too long. Murphy was craving to touch him but didn’t want to push things too quickly, to spook him and yet he could sense that 10k was seeking some normalcy.   
“So do you normally get men to follow you into the woods?” He teased, closing the space between them by putting his hands on 10k’s mannishly slender hips.  
10k licked his lips and placed a hand on top of Murphy’s, as though holding him in place.  
“We’re only a few hours away from California,” he said lowly.   
Fear started to burn inside Murphy’s chest but he swallowed it and cocked his head to the side,  
“We better make the most of this then before piss patrol comes to find me,” Murphy swept 10k around so he was pressed into the trunk of a gnarly tree, the bark sticking into his back, but he didn’t complain. He thrusted against Murphy’s solid body, both of them forebodingly aware that this may be the last time they get to relish each others presence. Murphy pushed his knee in between 10k’s legs, forcing them to separate.   
He had never felt like this. So caught up in a moment that despite the entire world was collapsing around him, he felt ... good. He wasn’t sure if the whirlwind of their emotions and the rapid development of their relationship was because of how much he fancied 10k or of it was circumstantial. How they both knew that life with the Z’s was both fleeting and long suffering at the same time. How each day, hour, minute that passed could potentially be your last before you even knew it. Everything about the apocalypse was intense, terrifying and just plain confusing but the moments that weren’t were something to be treasured. There was simultaneously no time at all and all the time in the world. So why shouldn’t they be kissing, clasping at each other like this moment was the only important event existing in the universe? Why shouldn’t they embrace it before Murphy was strapped back onto a lab table and being experimented on like a human pin cushion? Was that using 10k? Using him to give him something pure and exhilarating to hang on to? To remember when he was in California? He didn’t know. What he did know was that 10k was the only person that had ever made him feel so alive. Circumstantial or not.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they reach California, everything goes wrong.
> 
> 10k POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realise I’ve not really followed the actual timeline because California and the ship are separate but in this universe it’s all connected because that’s how I’ve written it. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

California had been ... how could 10k even begin to describe it ... an absolute fucking disaster.  
From start to finish nothing went according to plan. Hence why he was now laying on the wet floor of a life boat with a throbbing pain of gun shot wound in his torso. 

On the journey to California, 10k couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from Murphy. He had tried to memorise his face. Every etched in crease around his vibrant, amber eyes. The deep navy shade of his skin. The silver strands of hair that speckled his beard. The shape of his mouth. Murphy had caught 10k looking and that infamous, smug grin lit up his face but he didn’t say anything. 10k had also seen Murphy looking at him. He wondered if he was doing the same. Trying to capture a mental photograph for the future, when they were trying to recall the memory. 10k knew he would. Murphy was he first .. well, everything and he was going to leave him without much choice. He supposed finally experiencing romantic feelings for someone during the apocalypse was going to end in tears, no matter who it was.  
Once they arrived at the base to find that almost everyone and everything that had been there was dead, practically dead or full blown Z it was obvious that they were winging it. Murphy was radiating with fear. His cool demeanour was flustered and erratic. His large hands flailing around as he talked about patient Zero who was now a clump of blobby skin, eyes vacantly staring after he was finally given the mercy he deserved.  
“This is what I have to look forward to! This!” He had screeched in panic, “I’m out of here!”  
10k’s heart was physically aching at the sight of Murphy confronting his fear like this. Murphy was normally so guarded, aloof, using humour to deflect from any real emotions but right now he was vulnerable and petrified and there was nothing anyone could do to calm him. 10k had felt guilty for just standing there, overseeing the agony in Murphy’s eyes, just doing nothing. What could he have done? Gave him a hug that wouldn’t of fixed anything? 

Then the soldiers came.

10k raised his weapon but Warren flagged him to lower it. He felt incredible loyalty towards Warren but that instinct to protect Murphy was growing stronger as each day went by. Especially now, when he was so frantic and full of hurt.  
He lowered the weapon.  
“Well, if it’s not the bitch that made me Z!,” Murphy exclaimed as an older woman in a white lab coat diverted her eyes to the ground, “how’s things Dr Merch?”  
The soldiers didn’t even explain who they were as they went to grab Murphy. He fought back, punching one in the jaw as he shouted obscenities at Dr Merch. He had never spoken kindly of her.. ever. Always referring to her as a bitch and other words that 10k had never heard used before. 10k followed Warren’s lead as she held up her weapon. Everyone was shouting. Murphy was shouting. Vasquez was shouting. The soldiers were shouting. Addy was wrestling with one of the soldiers and Doc was trying to drag her back. Warren and the doctor were raising their voices at each other whilst Murphy kicked out at one of the armed soldiers. 10k didn’t even know who he should have been pointing his gun at when he felt the impact of being winded. At first he thought someone had come from behind him and punched him in the gut. He dropped his rifle as his head became woozy. Confused and shaky, 10k had felt his side gingerly with his hand to be greeted by claret, wet blood seeping through his fingers.  
“Fuck,” he gasped, his knees giving way beneath him.  
“Kid! Kid!,” Doc was holding 10k’s hands over the wound trying to apply pressure, “stop fighting! 10k’s been shot!”  
The lights of the lab were starting to blur in 10k’s vision, his pupils dilated. Thinking about it now, it wasn’t as if the gunshot it’s self was actually painful, it was more his body’s reaction to being shot. The shock had made his skin clammy and yet his body was shivering. He couldn’t muster the energy to keep his hands over the wound and they would have dropped to his side of it wasn’t for Doc gripping onto them. He was focusing on keeping his eyes open, that’s what people always said when someone was shot,  
‘Stay with me, don’t go to sleep, look at me.’  
He blinked hard, he could see the fuzzy image of Murphy’s face above him.  
“You got a medic on this ship?” 10k heard Murphy ask.  
Ship?  
“Yes, we have two actually, if you come with us we can help the entire human race and him,” a woman’s voice answered.  
10k was trying to breath normally but under the circumstances was struggling a considerable amount. He was going to die here. He was going to die from being shot by a random soldier because he wasn’t paying close enough attention. It wasn’t the admirable exit he had envisioned when thinking about his death. He had always kind of hoped he would go out in a blaze of glory.. not just the kid that got Murphy to California. A no one.  
“Him first, human race after, that’s the deal,” Murphy had said and then 10k couldn’t manage the weight of his eyelids any longer and everything went dark.

Waking up on the life boat should have been enough to warn 10k that this wasn’t a good thing. He looked down at his bare chest.  
‘Where were his clothes?’  
He was in a pair of green scrub trousers and .. was it Murphy’s jacket? A wedge of gauze was held down by a bandage that was tied around his waist. Crimson specs leaking through the whiteness. God, it burnt. He turned to see Murphy at the front of the boat with his hands on the wheel, wearing a captains hat and a naval uniform jacket that most certainly wasn’t his. He could see the back of two soldiers, a woman with brunette hair and an older man with white hair, all sat motionless in the seats behind Murphy. 10k attempted to lift his head to search for the others, he wanted to see Doc and Addy so badly but he only confirmed what he already knew, that he was the only one here.  
With Murphy. On a life boat.  
He rested his head back down, the pain in his stomach making him grind his teeth. He felt sick as he felt the fresh spray of salt water splash across his face.  
‘Where were they even going? Why was Murphy driving the boat?’  
He stayed laying in the little space he had to himself and watched the back of Murphy as he steered. He didn’t need to see his face to know he was wearing a shit eating grin. He knew that his feelings had been clouding his judgement on Murphy. Realistically he knew that once a criminal, always a criminal. Even those who were reformed and pillars of their communities, they still had the impulses and thoughts of turning back to their old ways.  
‘Old habits die hard,’ he could hear his Pa’s voice say. Murphy was definitely impulsive and was always going to save his own skin before anyone else’s..... but then why had 10k made it onto the life boat? He closed his eyes and prayed to any greater entity that may of existed that Warren would find him soon, before Murphy did something he would regret.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy is a little bit power drunk. 
> 
> Murphy POV

“What? You don’t like the name?” Murphy asked as he watched 10k raise one eyebrow and purse his lips.  
He was draped lazily on the chaise longue, his feet dangling over the edge as he considered his response. Murphy was perched against the desk, his arms folded as he waited.  
“It’s straight to the point..” 10k started.  
“But?” Murphy dragged out the word.  
“Don’t you think it’s a little... pretentious?” 10k asked, his eyes showing a small amount of caution.  
Murphy admired that. How 10k was very much aware of Murphy’s new authority in this world and yet he was still unable to repress his thoughts. He wasn’t afraid of him although he definitely trod more carefully than before California.  
“Really? I thought it was more powerful you know?” Murphy couldn’t deny that it did sound a bit egotistical, naming a town after yourself, but if George Washington could do it then why couldn’t he?  
“I don’t know why you’re even asking my opinion, you’ve already made up your mind,” 10k smiled, his head leaning back on the chair.  
Murphy waltzed over to the large window that had an overview of the compound. He was impressed with himself what he had been able to implement in a few short weeks. Running water, a band of blend followers that were gaining new recruits each day. His little moat of Z’s, the lab set up where the newly improved blend Dr Merch could work on a ‘vaccine’ for him and the electricity situation should only take another week or so to weed out the issues. Murphytown was looking good. Better than good. He knew after the carnage of California that him being the sole cure was never going to be the solution. The blends were the way forward, their immunity to Z’s and their willingness to follow orders to demonstrate their gratitude was a bonus to Murphy. It wasn’t like being human was anything special anyway. As a human Murphy had always been and always would have been a low life criminal, working his way from bed to bed, stranger to stranger. A narcissist and a good time party man. That was all he had. Now he had Murphytown. He had people that depended on him. He had a strong sense of purpose and influence. He had 10k.  
He was someone worth knowing. Worth remembering.

He was startled away from his own thoughts as he felt a pair of cool hands on his upper arms.  
“What you thinking about?” 10k asked, resting his chin on Murphy’s shoulder.  
Murphy wanted to say how this was probably one of the only moments in his life where he had felt truly content. Truly comfortable in his own skin. Even though he wished he was a little less blue and a little less hungry for things that were ... served less than a rare done.  
‘That was what Dr Merch was for’, he told himself.  
He turned to face 10k who immediately took a step back. Murphy exhaled through his nose as he placed his hands around the base of 10k’s swanlike neck. He watched at 10k’s eyes burst with recognisable wanting but Murphy wasn’t too delusional to not notice how 10k tensed up beneath his fingers. How even though 10k was the only person on the compound that was allowed in his quarters, even though he was the only person that Murphy had instructed to not be tested on, even though he was the first to know all of Murphy’s plans or ideas ... 10k was still weary of him. Still mistrusting. Ever since they got off the boat, Murphy could feel that the dynamics had changed. In fairness, they had. Murphy was no longer the package that needed to be protected and delivered by operation bite-mark. He was now the leader, the front man running the show. He had gone from not being permitted to piss by himself to suddenly being able to piss up every tree, wall or lamppost he desired. He was still the focus of everyone’s attention, which he took great pleasure in, but this time instead of everyone watching to make sure he didn’t fuck up, they were eager to please him and to know what to do next. 10k was still adjusting to this new layer on their relationship and Murphy respected that he would need time. 

“Nothing important,” he grinned as he kissed 10k hard on the mouth.  
10k relaxed into the kiss quickly, his tongue flicking against Murphy’s teeth.  
‘God, he had got so good at this,’ Murphy thought as he brought his body nearer to 10k’s, his hands applying a small amount of pressure to 10k’s neck.  
“You know you’re very distracting when I’m trying to work,” he purred against 10k’s mouth.  
“Yeah alright,” 10k chuckled, unconvinced.  
Murphy was amazed that after how close they had become 10k was still that insecure young lad. Still more comfortable to pull a trigger than take a compliment.  
“How can you even say that?” Murphy drooled as he pushed his crouch into 10k’s groin, “you drive me crazy.”  
“Mr Murphy!” A voice called as it entered the room unannounced.  
Wesson was one of Murphy’s preferred blends. He was obliging and militant and easy on the eye. He didn’t have to put in as much effort to mentally persuade him to do anything and Murphy was grateful for that. Eased his conscience.  
“Sir, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he apologised, his eyes darting to the ground with embarrassment.  
Murphy sighed as he felt his chance of getting hot and heavy with 10k slip into the distance.  
His hands slid down 10k’s chest before gesturing to him to take a seat. 10k didn’t look to comfortable with the idea. His face looked tight and reluctant but he still went and sat down.  
“Well you’ve interrupted now so what is it?” Murphy rolled his eyes expecting the usual morning report.  
“We’ve gotten word of a group coming to find you, on the radios... it was a bit hard to make out because of the distance but it something about operation bite-mark? I was told to inform you immediately,” Wesson related.  
His heart sunk a little,  
“Warren,” he groaned as he felt that bubble of serenity burst.  
He couldn’t help but notice the elation that flickered across 10k’s face. He was trying to act as though the thought of his friends hadn’t affected him but it was obvious from the twitching of his hands he was relieved to know they were still alive and kicking. Murphy didn’t share his excitement at the news. He would be lying he said he hoped they were dead because on a strange way, he didn’t. He liked them. He liked Warren’s determination and Doc’s light heartedness. He liked Addy’s feistiness and even Vasquez’s seriousness. He didn’t like the fact they were going to come to his safe haven and try to drag him back into the ‘saviour of humanity’ bollocks. 

“I wouldn’t worry about them,” he dismissed Wesson, certain he didn’t want to cause a drama, “if they come, they come. It won’t be an issue.”  
Wesson frowned his thick brows and side eyed 10k before nodding respectfully to Murphy and leaving the room.  
“They’re alive,” 10k breathed as though he had been holding his breath.  
His smile wide across his mouth as he ran his fingers through his now combed and softened hair.  
Murphy knew it was irrational to get irritated by this. Of course the kid was going to be happy to know the old gang were still alive. Of course he was going to be relieved that his father like figure Doc and his sisterly companion Addy were still out there, still looking for Murphy. For him.  
“You know they’re going to come here to stop all this?” Murphy said with a snarl he couldn’t control, “is that what your hoping for? For them to come and ruin me?”  
He could feel the aggression flaring in his chest as he studied 10k’s face. His internal celebration short lived as he saw Murphy’s unimpressed glare.  
He stood up sharply and shook his head,  
“I never said that, it’s just.. it could be a good thing right? They could be part of this too?”  
Murphy, although usually found 10k’s naivety endearing, couldn’t suppress the foul mood that was brewing. The thought of Warren being all self righteous and preaching about ‘the greater good’ and more than likely convincing 10k to leave with them to chase after another pipe dream of a cure. He knew that 10k would go with them... if he could and that hurt like hell. Murphy grabbed 10k by the lapels of his leather jacket and forcefully shoved him into the desk. His sky blue eyes locked on Murphy’s as he clung to Murphy’s wrists.  
“You know just as well as I do they have no intentions of wanting to my friends 10,” he growled, “I will not let anyone ruin what I am creating here and I mean anyone, including you.”  
Murphy has just claimed his life back as his own and there was no chance he was going to let Roberta Warren and her band of merry men fuck it up. 10k was trying to break away from Murphy’s grasp as he snapped,  
“Get off me.”  
In the reflection of the window, Murphy caught himself. He reminded him of someone his mother had pleaded with him not be like. A person his mother had promised she would ashamed of him if he ever replicated his behaviour.  
He even had his fathers stance...

“I’m... I didn’t mean.. shit,” he couldn’t let himself become that person. He didn’t want to prove everyone right. His mother, his old teachers and neighbours, not that those people were even alive but he would know that he met their low expectations of him and that was enough.  
He let go of the jacket and started to smooth down the disgruntled fabric. 10k smacked Murphy’s hands away forcefully as he slid from underneath Murphy’s body, keen to put some distance between them.  
“You don’t fucking man handle me like that,” 10k rumbled, his voice gravelly and his eyes enlarged with anger.  
Murphy didn’t want to be the reason 10k looked like that.  
“Oh come on, you don’t normally mind,” Murphy tried to joke, tried to alter the tension in the room.  
“That’s different and you know it is,” 10k barked, “I’m serious Murphy, next time I wont hesitate to put a bullet in you.”  
Murphy knew the kid meant it. If there was something that 10k wasn’t it was weak. He didn’t back down even if he knew he couldn’t win. He really hadn’t intended to take his frustration out of 10k.  
“Understood, loud and clear.”  
‘Come to me and forgive me,’ Murphy thought hard, ‘come on 10, let me make it up to you.’  
10k walked over to Murphy, his face still apprehensive, but he allowed Murphy to pull him into an embrace. Not like before, this one was softer and guilt ridden. Murphy was trying so hard to not get inside 10k’s head. He wanted 10k to be there because he wanted to be there. To want Murphy freely, the way he had before. Murphy was relieved as 10k kissed him back. He let his hand stroke the back of 10k’s neck and trace along the purple scar of his bite mark. Murphy wasn’t sure why he was so relieved, 10k would do whatever he wanted him too.  
10k just didn’t know it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k has some questions
> 
> 10k POV

He had been staring at the stains on the ceiling for what he estimated to be just over an hour. He was laying flat on his back just staring as he listened to Murphy’s light snore. He was laying on his front, mouth agape against the pillow as he slept.  
10k just couldn’t get Dr Merch’s voice from his head.  
‘How well do you really know him huh?’  
It was haunting him. He had found himself feeling a bit redundant since he had started to recover from his injury. Not being able to hold his rifle high enough to aim properly due to the pain in his side, he couldn’t go out shooting. He was left to do very mundane tasks like help with the cooking and cleaning, neither skill he was very good at. Fearing going stale, he took a wonder around the building Murphy had acquired as his own. He had stumbled upon a lab where he found Dr Merch scribbling on a chalk board, her desk in disarray with vials and Petri dishes. She had looked at him with the most disheartened eyes. The bite mark on her face now as prominent a feature as her nose was. She looked haggard.   
Sleep deprived, stressed and sad.   
“Has his lordship sent you?” She spat venomously, turning back to her chalk board.  
He started to shake his head before realising she wasn’t looking at him,  
“No,” he said honestly, “was just having a look around.”  
He watched her as she examined a series of numbers and letters on the board, none of which made any sense to 10k but he was never gifted with academia.   
“What are you working on?” He asked inquisitively.  
He knew it was some sort of ‘blend vaccine’ but Murphy had never really gone into detail. The longer he was there the more he felt less like a veteran of the zombie apocalypse, dangerous and useful, to becoming Murphy’s trophy wife. A boy toy that’s only purpose was look pretty and be around to stroke his ego when he needed it. Deep down he knew that wasn’t true, Murphy just wanted 10k to be fully recovered, but it didn’t stop that nagging feeling that he was allowing his spark to be dimmed. 

“You’re sugar daddy didn’t tell you?” She scoffed.  
10k narrowed his brows at the alien phrase,  
“What’s a sugar daddy?”  
Dr Merch turned to 10k and for a moment studied him like he was a specimen in a jar.   
“Do you know why you are here?” She asked more gentle than before.  
‘What kind of question is that?’ 10k had thought, ‘how was he even supposed to answer that?’  
10k assumed he must have looked confused as Dr Merch smiled grimly at him, putting her chalk down on the desk.  
“I can see what he sees in you,” she explained, “it’s quite obvious really. You’re young, attractive, probably just a bit easily lead and from what I hear you never missed a session of target practice. You’re an asset to any military style of operation.”  
10k scowled at her character assassination, Murphy hadn’t been grooming him for his cause because Murphy didn’t even have a cause until a little over a month ago.   
“What I cant see is what you get out of this arrangement?” She said earnestly.   
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” 10k defended, “you only know one side of Murphy.”  
“You think? I’ve known Murphy in two lives and he’s exactly the same. How well do you really know him huh?” She goaded, “what do you really know about him? I get it you got history but he was basically a prisoner, don’t you think he would have behaved differently if he wasn’t the one that was going to be left in California?”  
10k skulked our of the room, not really processing the questions as he heard Dr Merch mutter to herself about ‘how interesting’ something was.

Now he was alone with his thoughts, no blends asking him for help or Murphy distracting him, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.   
‘How well do you really know him huh?’  
“It’s unsettling to find you awake staring into the abyss like that,” Murphy mumbled from beside him, his eyes sleepy looking at 10k.  
“Why did you bring me here?” 10k asked before he even realised he was going to ask it. His eyes unmoving from the ceiling.  
“Save you, you mean,” Murphy corrected, “isn’t that obvious?”  
10k didn’t respond as he felt Murphy’s fingers rest upon his healing scar.  
“Not really, that’s why I’m asking,” he finally said.   
Murphy sighed as he brought his face close to 10k’s. He suddenly had this uncontrollable urge to look at Murphy and admire the glint of his citrine eyes even in the darkness.  
“Did you just expect me to leave you there? Wow, kid I know I’m an asshole but you think I’d fuck you and then let you bleed to death on a sinking ship in the same day?” He looked genuinely hurt that 10k could think so low of him.  
“No it’s just...” he took a moment to arrange his words, “I don’t really know you do I?”  
“Come off it Tommy,” Murphy exasperated.  
It always felt strange to hear Murphy call him by his birth name. 10k was who he was now, who Murphy had met out in the chaos of the new world. His new identity so engrained into who he was that being called Tommy almost felt like someone was shouting out to a person standing behind him. He imagined Murphy felt the same if someone was to call him Alvin.   
“Seriously Murphy, you basically know everything about me. I’m not exactly a mystery am I? You though, I literally know your name, you were bitten and survived, you like whiskey and sex.... oh and you’re blue,” he couldn’t stop his thoughts from verbalising themselves.   
Everything was just tumbling out and he couldn’t stop it. It was like there was a voice in his brain was provoking him to tell the truth. He didn’t really want to.  
Murphy placed a hand above where 10k’s heart was beating rapidly, worried that Murphy was going to react negatively.

“Ok,” he nodded, “I get it, ask away. What do you want to know?”  
10k relaxed under Murphy’s palm.  
‘What did he want to know?’  
“Where did you grow up?” He started with something basic, something not to probing.   
“New York, nothing fancy,” he answered quickly awaiting the next question.  
“Family?”  
“My Mum, she died before all this. I was in prison, she had cancer, you know how it goes. My dad left when I was very young, thank fuck, he caused enough damage. Next question.”  
“Postal fraud?” 10k raised an eyebrow as he watched Murphy smirk.   
“First time I’d ever been caught,” he admitted, “could never really find a career that suited me you know, apart from selling drugs when I left high school I was pretty good at that actually.”  
10k couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. He knew that people would judge him for having a soft spot for Murphy’s darker side. That part of Murphy that had lived just a little outside of the law, when there was laws anyway. He had a risqué sense of humour and colourful string of antidotes that 10k found amusing.   
“Was you with anyone? Before the Z’s?” 10k could feel the familiar burn of embarrassment spreading across his cheeks. It felt stupid to ask and yet he had this burning desire to know.  
Murphy smiled as his hand drifted towards 10k’s naval.  
“I mean I don’t want to make you jealous with the tales of all my previous conquests,” he teased.  
“Just answer the question,” 10k blushed.  
“I was in prison, it’s pretty slim pickings in those places, but before then I had this friends with benefits kinda deal with Mary Jane...” he slipped into his memories as he paused, “haven’t thought about her for a long time. She was good fun, had a mean right hook.”  
“It’s good to know that it’s not just me that’s wanted to punch you in the face,” 10k laughed lightly.  
“What can I say? It is part of my charm” Murphy was fingering the hem of 10k’s boxers, “one more question, then I’m done.”  
10k deliberated asking it but he knew if he didn’t he would just have Dr Merch’s voice onside his head, repeating it like a stuck record until it ate away at him.  
“Did you only bring me here because I’m a good marksman?” 

10k felt Murphy’s hand stop and saw those creases in his forehead thicken.   
“You think I brought you with me because I needed a sniper? You didn’t think it might possibly be for anything else?” Murphy queried, his eyes darkening as he watched 10k’s thoughtful face.  
“An easy lay?” He suggested, hoping he was wrong.   
Murphy snorted as he got out of the bed, completely naked, didn’t like the confinement of underwear in bed apparently. 10k wasn’t that comfortable to do that. As much a Murphy reminded him that they were both more than familiar with each others bodies.   
“An easy lay,” Murphy huffed, standing at the foot of the bed, his built back to 10k, “do you actually want to be here with me 10?”  
‘Tell him the truth,’ a voice told him, a voice that wasn’t the one he heard his inner thoughts with. He felt compelled to answer.  
“Well that’s two different questions,” he sat up in the bed, reaching out for Murphy’s hand, “do I want to be with you? Yes. I don’t know how to explain it right, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it now but...”  
He tightened his grasp on Murphy’s hand as he knew the next thing he was going to say was going to cause friction between them.  
“But do I want to be here? Murphytown? No, not really. I don’t feel myself here, I don’t feel like I know you here. I want to see the others, I want to be out there.. making a difference. Here... I’m just... not here? Does that make sense?”  
Murphy didn’t say anything. His face was stoney and his hand limp in 10k’s.

“Murphy?” 10k has to swallow the sound of nervousness as Murphy crawled on top of him. One hand above 10k’s head and the other pressed on his hip without the gunshot wound. 10k’s breath hitched as Murphy’s chest pressed against his. The lumps of thick scar tissue from his bite marks noticeable against 10k’s skin.   
“You can leave whenever you want,” he purred menacingly, 10k turned his face away from Murphy’s cold glare.  
“You can go and find Warren,” he planted a rough kiss on 10k’s jaw between each name, “find Doc, Addy, Vasquez...”  
His hand gliding beneath the cotton of 10k’s boxers as he spoke,  
“You are not being forced to stay here Tommy but I am not leaving, I am not letting anyone take my freedom again.”  
10k was trying to ignore the pleasure he was obtaining from Murphy’s hand around him. The way Murphy knew just how to touch him.   
“I want you 10,” he breathed into 10k’s neck, “I have always wanted you.”  
“You have me,” 10k gushed, his body withering with pleasure.  
“Not fully,” Murphy said, “not the way I had hoped.”  
He abruptly retracted his hand and lifted himself off 10k who was now plump lipped, hard and confused.  
“If you want to leave you better go now,” Murphy said as he threw on a silk dressing gown, “if I come back and you’re still here, we are not talking about this shit again, capeesh?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k knows and he is furious.
> 
> 10k POV

10k was scrambling through every room he could get into to locate a mirror. His breaths raspy as his hands trembled.  
‘No, no, no,’ he thought in desperation, clambering through the items in Murphy’s private en-suite.  
‘The bastard didn’t ... he wouldn’t...’  
Once he found a small hand held mirror stashed away in the bottom of the sink cabinet he turned his back to the large mirror on the toiletry cabinet. The glass was murky and stained but still gave a misty reflection. He inhaled deeply, attempting to calm himself as he positioned the hand held mirror to give him a better view of the back of his head. 

There it was.  
Just like Dr Merch had told him it was.

He could feel the muscles in his face twitching from underneath his skin. His teeth gritted as he felt his eyes resist releasing salty tears. Even through the smeared glass, the outline of a purplish bite was quite clearly there. Small scars from Murphy’s teeth in two semi circles just under the base of neck... just in a low enough position that 10k had gone nearly two months without seeing it. He hadn’t even thought about checking his back, who checks out there back? He had felt no pain or irritation, nothing to indicate anything was there... how had he not felt it? He must have been so preoccupied with the gunshot wound that it’s completely distracted his attention from the rest of his body. He awkwardly bent his arm behind his back so his fingertips brushed against the jagged mark. His stomach lurched with that plummeting sensation you feel when you’re about to vomit.  
‘How could he of been so god damn stupid?’  
Everything was instantaneously falling into place.  
The way he had felt though he had been floating and not really existing. The strange voice that had been entering his thoughts, the compulsion to do things that he didn’t really want to do. The way Murphy had been treating him differently, like it didn’t matter how far he pushed him because 10k wouldn’t leave. It wasn’t that 10k wouldn’t leave ... he couldn’t leave.  
“Argh!” 10k hollered as he smashed the hand held mirror against the porcelain sink. The one smash didn’t satisfy his rage. He did it again and again and again. Shards of glass showered around him as he finally launched the remaining frame across the room.  
‘How could he do this to me?’

10k had not been descreet about his feelings towards the Z’s. He had told Murphy countless times that he would never want to be a blend. He wouldn’t want to be this hybrid thing that had the appearance of a human but was thoughtless on the inside, like a Z but without all the decay. He was just as good as dead now. That’s how he saw it anyway.  
How long had Murphy been in his head?  
He clawed at the bite mark as though his chewed nails would be able to scratch it off from his skin. He had seen Dr Merch again. She tugged his sleeve as he walked by the lab.  
“It’s like a claim right? Biting our faces so we know, so everyone knows we’re are blends?” She had a serious expression on her face as continued, “but yours is hidden? Why though?”  
10k had looked at her in complete bewilderment. He didn’t have a bite?  
“Yes you do?” She had said, “I saw it the other day it’s just at the bottom of your neck? Surely you remember him biting you right?”  
He didn’t.  
He had no recollection at all of being bitten. It must have been on the ship, not that he even remembered being on a ship. There was a whole chunk of his life that was just a black void in his memory and he couldn’t remember shit. He got shot, woke up and in between those two events Murphy had turned him into a blend and kept it a secret from him. Murphy had taken away 10k’s choice of living half human or dying a full one and 10k was furious about it. Everyone that knew 10k would have known that he would have preferred death.  
‘Always chose death if it stops you being human,’ that’s what his Pa had told him.  
He didn’t even think as he marched from the bathroom to find Murphy. He wasn’t sure what his plan was. He was so consumed with rage that he bulldozed his way around the building, unanswered questions whizzing around his head.

He found himself breathing too heavily.  
“Where’s Murphy?” He growled at two blends that were guarding the entrance to a another tall building that Murphy had made an office in. They remained silent. Seething, 10k pulled out his handgun that had been tucked into the band of his trousers.  
“If he’s in there you let me in now,” he ordered.  
He wasn’t in the mood to play along with this presidential bullshit. The blends moved from the entrance, allowing 10k to barge through them until he found who he was looking for.  
Murphy was casually sipping whiskey from a glass as he and Wesson were looking over maps that sprawled across the table. The sight infuriated him. How could he be sitting there so smugly and cool when he knew what he had done?  
Wesson looked almost disappointed at 10k’s entrance. Murphy raised an eyebrow, he wasn’t expecting to see him.  
“Get out,” he barked at Wesson, raising the gun at him, his eyes firmly burning through Murphy’s perplexed expression. He envisioned the bullet hole that he wanted to put in between his eyes.  
“I don’t take orders from you,” Wesson said almost a little too bravely.  
10k didn’t need this right now. He could easily kill him without even having to look, they were at such close range. He continued to stare hatefully at Murphy who’s face had turned from confused into a grim realisation.  
The penny had dropped. 10k knew.  
‘Bang!’  
10k fired a warning shot. Just skimming past Wesson’s shocked face.  
“I don’t miss by accident,” his snapped, “now get out!”  
He saw Wesson look to Murphy who just nodded and gestured with his hand for him to leave.  
“But Sir your safety...” Wesson started.  
“We just need to have a private chat Wesson, we will be fine,” he assured as he rose from his seat, swigging the remainder of his drink and walking to the cabinet that held a full bottle.  
Wesson mumbled a ‘yes Mr Murphy’ before closing the door behind him. 10k watched as Murphy poured another drink, his gun suddenly heavy in his hand. 

“So,” Murphy drawled, “what’s got your knickers in a twist?”  
10k lowered his weapon and laughed on an exhale.  
“Oh you know, I’ve just found a massive fucking bite on my neck. Don’t suppose you know anything about that?” He spat, Murphy’s sarcasm had been rubbing off on him.  
Murphy rubbed his temples and sighed as he walked around the table, maintaining the distance between them.  
“Ah,” he said.  
“Ah?” 10k repeated, “all you have to say is Ah? You bit me! You absolute asshole! You bit me and all you can say is Ah?”  
Murphy shrugged as he looked into 10k’s eyes. Their pale blue darkened like an ocean during a storm.  
“I knew you would react badly that why I didn’t say anything,” he justified, “it’s really not a big deal.”  
“Not a big deal?” 10k shouted in disbelief, “not a big deal? You made me a blend and I didn’t even know! You fucking hid it from me! You knew, you knew I didn’t want that...this!”  
“You would have died if I hadn’t, I couldn’t just let you die,” Murphy pressed.  
“I would rather be dead than a Z and you know that!” 10k hissed.  
Murphy’s face was riddled with hurt, it was a look that would normally have left 10k feeling bad, maybe even apologising but not today. Never again, he imagined.  
“Why are you so against it? I’m king of the Z’s and you don’t mind me?” Murphy gulped his drink and poured another one.  
“I didn’t get a choice Murphy...”  
“It’s the apocalypse 10k,” Murphy interjected, “choices are a luxury these days if you haven’t noticed? The choice was you died or you didn’t, so you are very welcome that I chose to save your life.”  
10k stared him with real incredulity.  
‘Was he actually that deluded?’  
“You think I should be grateful?” 10k asked, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand that held the gun.  
“Are you alive or not?” Murphy exclaimed, frustrated that 10k couldn’t see the reasoning behind his behaviour.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as 10k tried to make sense of his thoughts.  
“You’ve been inside my head,” he almost whispered, the anger not subsiding but rather combining with the sadness that comes with betrayal.  
Murphy slumped into the chair and shook his head,  
“No, not really. I’ve been blocking you out, I don’t want that.”  
“I’ve felt you,” 10k said, “don’t try and lie to me Murphy I’ve heard you in my head ...”  
The realisation dawned upon him, he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent himself from crying, he felt pathetic enough as it was. He was 10k, not Thomas, 10k wasn’t going to cry.  
“You’ve been making me do things... you’ve made me stay here. Made me your bitch... Jesus Christ, I thought ...” he stopped himself from saying it.  
‘I thought you loved me.’  
He cringed at how soppy and childish that made him sound. It didn’t stop it from being true though. He had felt that way for some time now. He really thought that Murphy had fallen for him the way he had fallen for Murphy and he had fallen hard.  
“It’s never been intentional,” Murphy admitted, “I’ve never forced you into doing anything I promise you.”  
“But you could,” 10k said flatly, “you could make me do anything, whenever you wanted to.”  
“But I won’t,” Murphy growled fiercely as he rose from his seat, “I won’t, you gotta believe me.”  
He got as close to 10k as he could before 10k stepped back. His hands were raised as 10k aimed the gun at him.  
‘A futile gesture really’, 10k thought bitterly as he dropped his aim, ‘he will just stop me pulling the trigger with his mind.’  
“Please kid,” he said softly, cautiously reaching a hand out to touch 10k’s arm, “trust me.”  
“Trust you?” 10k scoffed as he retracted his hand, he couldn’t allow himself to fall for his act, “I will never trust you again.”  
Murphy’s face darkened with anger at his defeat, turning a deeper shade of blue.  
‘Looks like we will be doing this the hard way from now on,’ the voice invading 10k’s head growled, ‘it didn’t have to be like this Tommy.’


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy tried to do the right thing
> 
> Murphy POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a few hours after the knife game.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Enjoy :)

To say that Murphy wasn’t proud of himself for his behaviour that morning was an understatement. No matter what anyone thought of him, even he knew he had crossed a line. He didn’t really want to be this petty but even Murphy had to accept he had been a bit more than a massive jerk. Once 10k had left the room, his hand bleeding with slices from the knife and tears streaming down his frozen face, Murphy helped himself to the bottle of whisky and didn’t even bother with a glass. He sat and swigged it, knowing that it’s bitter burn wasn’t actually going to make him feel any better. Any less guilty but at least he didn’t have to be sober and guilty. It had been two weeks since 10k discovered the bite. Two weeks of Murphy feeling miserable, rejected and angry. How couldn’t the kid see that he had only done it to save him? Surely that was as just enough reason as any other to of done it? Maybe he was just being selfish. Selfish for putting his own fear of loosing 10k before what 10k actually wanted. Selfish for putting his emotions in front of 10k’s own mortality. Selfish because he was ‘The Murphy’ and what the Murphy wanted, the Murphy got. He looked down at his whitened hands, splotches of blue speckling it’s fresh pinkness. He was getting what he wanted. Dr Merch’s little syringes of medicine were working from what Murphy could see. He was no longer this apocalyptic smurf albeit he still had a few navy patches across his body and a bloody great big patch around his eye like a some mutated Dalmatian. But it was working, gradually. His hair was a striking, Billy Idol blonde which he was growing to like even though he had never been fair haired in his life. He was recruiting more blends by the day. People desperate to survive and gain sanctuary at Murphytown. Lining up to be injected by Murphy’s men to get access to something that had a meaning in this senseless world. They had water and electricity now, a functioning and armed community with the only threat being Warren. He should have been happy, ecstatic even, that everything was coming together and yet he was not. He had tried to talk to 10k again, get him to understand that he didn’t want to possess him, which he was aware he was half lying about. He didn’t know how to put his feelings into words. He wanted 10k to be his and only his but that didn’t mean he wanted 10k to stop being himself. 10k had been resistant to listen. He wouldn’t make eye contact with him, his body was stiff like a solider at regiment and he never replied to anything Murphy said. He didn’t shout or curse or even cry. Nothing. Murphy had tried to kiss him. Tried to revive those feelings he knew 10k was depriving himself of out of pride or stubbornness or both. 10k just stood, ridged and unforgiving. His lips sealed closed and his eyes shut with the intention of not having to look at Murphy. The rejection had crippled Murphy in a way he had never experienced before. He was just so mad. So frustrated that 10k was blinded by his morals ... morals that had no place in a zombie apocalypse. Being human was overrated in these times. Murphy had mentally commanded 10k to pick up the knife before he even constructed a plan of action. He just wanted to inflict pain because he was in pain. God, he was selfish.

Murphy didn’t know what possessed him. Why he needed to give 10k the option of injecting himself with the serum. Why he needed to use the knife game to get his point across. He was just so sick of 10k being so defiant and acting like Murphy had murdered his mother. Hell, didn’t he give the kid everything he had? Didn’t he give him food, shelter and a warm bed with a warm body waiting for him each night? A chance to stay alive?   
Was that so evil?   
He rubbed his temples roughly as he focused on the small flecks of 10k’s blood tarnishing the polished woodwork of the table. He let one hand lay over the top of the area, his fingertips tracing the dents from where the tip of the blade had broken the surface of the wood.   
‘Guess I am my fathers son after all,’ he thought dolefully.  
If you can’t make them love you, you make them fear you. He took a hard few gulps of whiskey until he had to stop to come up for air. He had told him to kill Warren. Kill Warren. Why had he done that? If anything that was just going to push him further away but this was all Warren’s fault. Her little crusades and mission’s always appeared to be at Murphy’s expense. Murphy’s blood. Murphy’s life. Murphy’s happiness. These were all worth nothing in comparison to the almighty Warren and her quest to save humanity. He was tired. Maybe it was the physical strain that is associated with heartbreak or perhaps it was too much booze. He wanted to take it all back. Well, that was another half lie. He wouldn’t take all of it back. If he had to bite 10k again to prevent him from dying than he would do it in a heartbeat. Selfish or not.  
He drank some more and by now was wallowing in that tipsy sensation. He had a warm buzz prickling through his body, his head slightly lighter than before which was no surprise since the bottle was just over half way empty already. He stared into the brown alcohol as if it was going to suddenly replicate Moses and the burning bush. Going to give him all the answers to solve his problems. He needed to make this right. Even if he couldn’t win back 10k’s trust he could at least do something to make the kid happy.

He fumbled his way along the corridors and out into the compound. The bright rays from the sun not aiding his attempt to act sober. He was drawn into the kitchen area where he could sense 10k’s presence. He was standing in a trance, gazing out of the window into the view of the city. Wishing he was anywhere else than where he was. Murphy’s chest was crushed with the pang of grief. What he was about to loose. He was behind 10k, the other blends had scattered out of his path and were gathered by the doorway watching him but he didn’t care. He placed his hands gently on 10k’s waist, he could feel the sharp inhale of breath 10k took when he touched him.  
Murphy wet his lips with his tongue and lowered his head into the crook of 10k’s neck. That neck he was so fond of.   
“Get your things and leave,” he ordered quietly.  
Inhaling the scent of 10k’s skin. Sweet and earthy, he was like the autumn. Refreshing and full of colour. He was as pure as the fallen leaves, fresh as the rain soaked moss and the freshly dug roots. Murphy was like the harshest winter. Demanding, cold, dark and consuming.   
‘Got to stop getting so philosophical when I drink,’ he thought to himself as he let his lips brush by 10k’s earlobe.  
“Forget everything I said earlier, erase it from your mind, it never happened. Just get your stuff and leave,” he instructed.  
10k spun around, Murphy’s hands still on his waist. He looked up at Murphy from under his eyelashes and Murphy had to suppress the urge to kiss him.   
“What?” He said distrusting.  
“You heard,” Murphy slurred slightly, “get your stuff and go. You don’t want to be here.”  
10k’s thick brows creased as he looked deep into Murphy’s eyes as though searching for the true reason he was saying this.   
“I was just pissed off and we both know I can be a bit of an ass... I can’t change anything but I can try make things better and that starts with you leaving,” he glanced into his peripheral vision, sending the other blends out of the room.  
“You’ve been drinking,” 10k acknowledged, something softening in his hardened face. Less hateful.  
“So what?,” Murphy insisted, “I don’t want you to hate me anymore than you already do, chances are if you leave you will be happier, or so you keep telling me.”  
“You can still get in my head... if you reach out hard enough... are you trying to set me up? Get me to kill Warren without knowing that what I’m going to do?” 10k asked.  
‘That would have been a good plan,’ Murphy admired whilst shaking his head. That really wasn’t his intentions.  
“Nothing I can say will make you believe me,” he sighed, “but I can give you my word that I won’t be doing that.”  
“So I can just go? Just walk away and you won’t follow me?”   
Murphy nearly shuddered as 10k put his hands on Murphy’s shoulders willingly.   
He swallowed the dry lump in his throat as he nodded. Doing the right thing was so unbelievably shit. 

“Only if you want me to,” he smiled weakly, looking into 10k’s questioning gaze. He was regretting his decision already.   
“In a round about way I’m trying to apologise Thomas, I don’t do it a lot so cut me some slack,” Murphy breathed, his grip tightening on his waist.   
Unexpectedly, 10k cupped his hands around Murphy’s face and kissed him. It was a slow, poignant act. 10k’s lips were practically trembling as they tasted the strong, caramelised remnants from Murphy’s whisky on his mouth. The tips of his fingers, exposed from his fingerless gloves, were running through Murphy’s bright hair. Murphy couldn’t help but hope this was 10k’s way of saying he would stay but as their mouths separated, the tips of their noses brushing against each other, Murphy knew this was a goodbye. He had experienced enough of them to know when one was happening. He pulled 10k closer and just took the moment to enjoy him.   
“Get out of here before I change my mind,” Murphy instructed.  
He watched the younger man longingly as 10k went to leave,  
“See you around kid.”  
As 10k left with a apprehensive look on his face, Murphy felt that winter storm rise within him. He screamed a contorted growl as he dashed the nearest pot across the room.   
“Sir, Mr Murphy ..” Wesson’s voice was cautious as he entered the kitchen, “there’s been a bit of an incident..”  
“Can’t you see I’m a bit busy?” Murphy roared, his chest tight like the weight of a thousand men were suffocating him. Pressing the air from his lungs like deflating a balloon, trying to leave him shrivelled and lifeless.  
Wesson shuffled anxiously on his feet,  
“But sir I think you will want to see this ... it’s Dr Merch .. she’s in the Z moat.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k reflects on his being reunited with Doc.

The first few weeks had been terrifying. Not because of the Z’s, they had just became a part of life, but because he was very much alone and for the first time since this had all started he didn’t have a plan. Kill then remaining 8,678 Z’s. That’s all he had to push him forward and it felt practically insignificant compared to when he was part of operation bite-mark. A purpose. He was desperate to find Warren and the others but at the same time, he was still convinced this was one of Murphy’s elaborate set ups. He didn’t want to be reunited with Warren if Murphy was just going to tune in on his telepathic radio and use his body as a vessel to commit his revenge. When Doc found him, 10k was sure he was dying or in hell.

Before he had left Murphytown he couldn’t resist a quick farewell to Dr Merch. He wasn’t sure why, he just felt like he owed her an explanation for his departure. Sure , they weren’t friends, but she had been honest with him.   
“This doesn’t make him a good person you know,” she had reminded him, “he probably has an alternative motive or maybe he needs to ease his conscious which would be lucky for you.”  
He knew she was more than likely right, but that didn’t make him any less of a wishful thinker in hoping that Murphy was actually trying to make amends. He had just nodded.  
“Take these with you, you might need them,” she had tucked a satchel into his coat pocket.  
“What is it?” He had asked but she just pressed a finger to her lips and shoved him towards the door.  
“It’s been nice knowing you,” she had said with a weak smile, “find someone good next time. You’re own age, less Z hybrid.”  
They had both chuckled as 10k left. When he had been no more than a few metres outside of the gated walls, he had heard a woman screaming...  
Then he was screaming. A lot of screaming was happening. Dr Merch had slipped him a few syringes of the ‘vaccine’. They had a somewhat negative side effect on 10k. He kept hallucinating that a young woman with brown hair and a red hood was following him through the tree’s. He could hear Murphy’s voice, smooth like velvet, repeating every conversation they had ever exchanged. He could hear Z’s snarling that were not physically there. His limbs felt detached from his trunk, his head woozy in a euphoric state of intoxication. When he had woken up in a straight jacket with an older woman in a stained matrons uniform and a gothic styled girl examining him, he knew he was in trouble but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. When Doc had stumbled into the room, presenting with his best ‘seriously, I’m a medical professional’ act, 10k had been on a massive high. All the sedatives the Matron had been pumping him full of alongside his withdrawal from whatever he had been injecting himself with was making it difficult to piece together any sort of information. Yet he recognised that wholesome voice in an instant. He was so elated to see that wispy grey beard and crinkled face of his. To see one of his most favourite people on this entire god forsaken planet on the flesh and not an acid trip like hallucination. They had found each other again, like they always did. Drawn to each other like they were a biological father and son.   
“I knew you were alive kid! I just had this feeling in my gut and boy am I glad it weren’t gas!” Doc had whispered in secret celebration away from the other patients, “you don’t know how good it to see ya’ you damn cockroach!”  
10k was Ashamed to admit that he had been a complete wreck whilst Doc had to more or less singlehandedly find an escape from that hospital. 10k was too busy coming down. He couldn’t stop shivering, dreaming of Murphy. He could hear Addy in his head talking to him about nonsense. His Pa was teaching him how to fish ... the next thing he could remember was waking up, cold, hungry and his long limbs basically folded uncomfortably in to a shopping trolley on the side of a country road. Doc had been beaming with satisfaction and relief.  
“For a minute I really thought you had used your ninth life on me there,” he had cheered, hugging 10k despite knowing he wasn’t the touchy feely type,  
“Me and you have got some catching up to do kid.”

Firstly, Doc was astounded that 10k hadn’t told him that he and Murphy were, in Doc’s words, ‘getting it on‘.   
“I mean everyone for their own! I’m not one to judge I just always thought you hated the guy!” Doc had insisted.  
Then it came to Doc knowing about the bite. He revealed he had seen it when he was trying to clamber 10k’s deadweight body into the trolley. 10k had to dive deep into the vocabulary he knew to find the words to explain it. Everything.   
“That’s why I can’t come with you Doc,” he had concluded, “If he uses me to kill Warren I .. I can’t .. I won’t be able to live with myself. Please just tell them everything and tell them I’m sorry.”  
Doc had lit a joint and was scratching his beard intensely.   
“How did it all get so complicated huh?” He had asked solemnly, “you ain’t got nothing to be sorry for kid.”  
Doc was silent for a reflective moment as he dissected 10k’s face with his gentle eyes.  
“You really think he would do that? To you and Warren?” He asked.   
“I don’t put anything pass him,” 10k admitted bitterly, “I would like to say he wouldn’t but who knows what’s going on in his head.”  
A few more minutes passed of comfortable silence. The pair just being grateful to know the other was alive. Doc puffing on his Z weed and 10k getting used to having his rifle back in his sober and more capable hands again.   
Doc started chortling to himself as he shook his head at his private thoughts.  
“What?” 10k asked, intrigued as he lit a cigarette.  
“I can’t believe you and him ...” he pulled face of pure confusion and made a hand gesture of his two index fingers touching at the tips, which had made 10k flush with embarrassment.   
“It’s the apocalypse,” 10k shrugged, trying not to let Doc see how sheepish he was becoming, “anything goes, right?”  
“You even sound like him,” Doc had laughed, causing himself to choke on his inhale.   
When they had parted ways, 10k was so truly alone. He hadn’t been alone for so long that he realised rather rapidly how much he was missing the human contact. What had happened to him?  
He knew what to do, of course, how to survive but he didn’t enjoy the solitude like he had before. He had become accustomed to being a loner in his former life, so entering the new world without his Pa didn’t seem like such a drastic adjustment. But now? Attempting to do it after everything he had encountered with his unlikely friends... it seemed more challenging.

As he walked along the tree lines, staying just out of sight, he realised he had grown quite fond of being part of a group. Part of him wished he was as selfish as Murphy. He wished he had gone back with Doc and warned Warren in person. Addy would have hugged him while he awkwardly patted her on the back and Vasquez would have nodded to him sternly but kindly. He would have been with people that got him. Understood him without demanding reasons for why 10k was how he was but that would have put them all in danger. As far he knew, he could be a sleeper agent and as much as those welcomes were what he yearned for he wanted them all to stay alive. That want overrode any self serving impulses. He hadn’t known if the serum Dr Merch had given him had worked or not. He couldn’t hear Murphy and he certainly didn’t feel as though he was doing anything that he didn’t want to be doing. He couldn’t decide if he was cured or if Murphy was just biding his time ... or keeping his word.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy has found a loophole into keeping his word.
> 
> This is set roughly a few months after 10k left.
> 
> Murphy POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not really relevant to the story but I thought we would want to know if Murphy could really do what he says. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Murphy woke from his slumber in a flustered fashion. His cheeks burning, his breath heavy and his manhood excited against his groin. He squinted harshly to adjust to the darkness of his room.  
“Fuck sake!” He cursed, throwing himself back on to the pillow. His forearms draping across his eyes as he sighed.  
This kept happening. He was furious that his subconscious was such a nosy fucker. During daylight hours he was in control. Any thoughts about 10k were squashed like an ant under a thumb before they had a even had chance to sprout into something untoward or perverse. When he was unconscious was a different story entirely. He often sought ought the connection he had with 10k. If it was intentional or not Murphy couldn’t be sure. He had promised to he wouldn’t tap into 10k’s private thoughts but if he was doing it in his sleep? Well, that was purely accidental right? That bond he had with all his blends was a fierce sensation, but the one he had with 10k... indescribable. His brain would just naturally search for him. Needing the reassurance that 10k was still out there. The first few instances of this occurring, Murphy had awoken with an empty void in his chest. His head heavy and feeling disconnected from the world. 10k had been lonely and as much as Murphy hated to admit it, he revelled in that knowledge.  
‘Serves him right thinking he would be better off somewhere else,’ he had thought.  
Then something changed. Murphy could sense that 10k was adapting to his new life. Murphy would lay on his bed feeling relaxed and youthful. There was a laddish energy radiating from 10k, which was peculiar coming from someone as careful and considerate. The first time Murphy had dreamt of 10k’s lips locking with a broad mouthed man, he had put his fist through his closet door. He had begun to dread the urge to close his eyes when exhaustion was upon him, he feared feeling 10k in a romantic embrace. With someone else. Someone that wasn’t him. Some mornings he awoke, somewhat disappointed that he had not felt 10k’s presence and other mornings, he would be engulfed in jealousy. Poor form from a grown man to be jealous of a kid in his twenties getting his rocks off. Had he seriously expected a youngster, riddled with curiosity and separation issues, to remain in further isolation in the mist of the apocalypse? Had he honestly thought that no one else would be intrigued by 10k’s thoughtful, blue eyes? The only person who was attracted to 10k’s high cheek bones and coltish physique? That Murphy had made such an astounding impression that 10k would have no other choice than to practice the art of celibacy? He laughed out loud at how ridiculous he was. He was in the prime of his life and Murphy was getting old. This king of zombies lark wasn’t making him any younger. 

In this particular nights intrusion, 10k had been making those delicious noises he reserved for when he was being intimate. He could feel strong fingers interlocked with 10k’s and the sensation of wet kisses being on his ear. Their was a voice mumbling words in a language he didn’t understand.  
‘... “Why have you stopped?” He heard 10k ask like a whisper of a ghost.  
“You will think I am crazy,” the European voice snorted, “but I think I am starting to fall in love with you. Mad, yes?”  
Murphy had waited in suspense for 10k’s answer.  
“That is mad,” he heard 10k laugh, “but that’s what I like about you.”...’

He had laid on his bed with a pain in his throat as if someone had attempted to pull his intestines up through his oesophagus. He was immediately soft at the dissection of the conversation.  
‘I think I am starting to fall in love with you.’  
Could it really be that serious? Anyway, 10k didn’t say he loved him back, that must have meant he wasn’t as involved as the other man, right? Every fibre of his being was telling him to stop fighting to be virtuous and to take the reigns of 10k’s mind. Make him get up and leave this stranger and walk however many miles back to Murphytown. Back to Murphy, where he belonged.  
‘...“Can I ask question?” The foreign voice asked...’  
Murphy bolted up right. He was definitely awake. He shouldn’t be able to hear him anymore.  
‘...“Sure,” 10k had answered.  
“You have ... eh? Interesting mark on you back. It looks like bite?”...’  
Murphy wanted to simultaneously be the fly on the wall for 10k’s explanation as well as vacate as quickly as possible in case 10k was just going to bad mouth him.  
‘...“Remember when you asked if I had bad taste?” 10k sounded earnest as ever.  
“Oh god you are a cannibal,” the voice jested, “I knew you were too good to be true.”  
10k laughed. Actually laughed as though anything this guy said was comedic gold.  
“It was nothing like that!” 10k insisted, Murphy could feel the smile on his lips, “it’s a bit complicated but it wasn’t good thing. Not always bad but it wasn’t good.”  
“You deserve more than good,” the voice said dreamily, “my Mama always said you accept the love you think you deserve.”...’

“Shut up! Shut up!” Murphy howled, leaping from the bed.  
He fumbled with a packet of cigarettes as he put his full concentration into blocking out 10k.  
“Wasn’t good,” he mocked childishly as he inhaled deeply, “wasn’t good enough for Thomas.”  
He watched the sunrise over the compound, it’s golden glow brightening everything it touched. He stood there for a while, wallowing in his own self pity. Murphy wasn’t used to these emotions. He had never been so absorbed in someone so much in his life. It didn’t matter how much he fought to try and change his emotions, he couldn’t derail his attention from 10k. What did the kid have that was so special? Maybe it was because despite everything that Murphy was on the surface, 10k had been determined to scratch deeper. To invest some energy into something rotting, nearly past the point of salvation to expose the humanity. The humanity buried underneath all the bravado, the insults, the vileness that Murphy possessed. 10k had been his sunrise. Peeling back the layers of darkness and revealing a creature who was really just deprived of light. Now he was with somebody else. Murphy wondered if this other person was as much of a task as Murphy was. If 10k was as obliging and sensitive to his needs?  
He stubbed out the cigarette on the dresser nearest to him. He didn’t have the time waste his mental energy on 10k anymore. Today he was going to meet with Warren for the third time since she had made her way to Murphytown and been banging her determined fists against his doors. This time he was certain he was going to get the message across to her that he wasn’t going anywhere with her, loud and clear. That was going to require his full, undivided attention.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k is no longer alone.
> 
> 10k POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Floyd is an original character with no relation to Z Nation but I quite like him so be kind.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Time no longer held the same significance as it did Pre Z. All those different methods of knowing the days, the months, the hours and minutes were rendered redundant and were now more difficult to keep track of. There were no calendars, no clocks, no alarms, no newspapers. The sun rose and then it set. Some weeks were blisteringly hot, others were bitterly cold from the moment you awoke to the moment you went to sleep. From what 10k could guess, it had been few months since he had left Murphytown.  
Seen Murphy’s face.   
It got easier over time. The more busy he kept himself the less opportunity he had to dwell on the aching beneath his ribs. He hadn’t realised how much of his time he had actually spent with Murphy. Even before the disaster that was California, they had been travelling together and saving each other’s asses for what must have been a year. He had almost forgotten what it was like to be without the aggravatingly charming bastard by his side. 

After what felt like an impossibly long time of being by himself, 10k finally encountered another human being. He had just started to get back into the rhythm of life by himself when he entered the diner. He had used his sling shot to mercy the pair of straggling Z’s that were hanging around the entrance, pleased that his aim hadn’t been affected in the long term by his resting period after the gun shot. As he entered the diner he had almost stumbled over a rotting corpse that was inconveniently slumped upon the welcome mat. He just needed to grab some supplies, anything useful or worth salvaging and then he would leave. As he searched behind the counter tops he was delighted to see an unopened can of soda. The can opened with a hiss as he chugged it down greedily. It was lukewarm and barely had any flavour to its carbonated fizz but he savoured it nevertheless. He grabbed some packets of unopened chips and stuffed them into his bag. Not the most nutritional of foods but better than nothing at all. When he heard the sound of footsteps shuffling from behind him, he twirled on his heels with his gun raised high.   
“Don’t shoot me! Don’t shoot! I’m alive!” The young man had shouted in an European accent, his hands held high above his wild, fiery hair.   
10k didn’t budge initially. He narrowed his eyes at the man visible from the square of the kitchen hatch.   
“Not Z! I’m not Z! Just eating Twinkie’s!” He explained as he waved the empty wrappers that were in his hands like plastic flags of surrender. 10k was rather surprised as the young man then threw an unopened snack cake through the hatch so it landed by 10k’s boot.   
Was that supposed to be a peace offering? Despite 10k’s confusion he wasn’t too preoccupied to notice the armless Z in a waitress uniform, clumsily making its way through the kitchen door behind the stranger.   
10k didn’t hesitate to shoot it.  
“Holy fuck!” They young man cried out as he jumped back from the hatch, the Z collapsing to the ground with a squelch. The man eagerly hopped towards the body to inspect the mercied Z with an enthusiastic expression.  
“Wow,” he had said in awe, looking between the barrel of 10k’s gun and the wound in the Z’s face, “nice shot!”

After thanking 10k profusely, Floyd had suggested that the pair stick together, till the next town at least. An idea which 10k wasn’t initially too keen on. Even though 10k was tired of feeling lonesome he was not sure he was ready to open himself up to the prospect of having company again. People either had to be left, left you or died. He politely declined the offer as he went to make a swift exit from the diner but the orange haired stranger had climbed inelegantly through the hatch after him.  
He had called to him down the road.  
“You with people? It is just me, no one else I won’t be trouble I swear!” He had pleaded as he jogged along, keeping pace easily alongside 10k’s strides.   
“Keep your voice down or do you want to attract Z’s?,” 10k had warned.  
“So if I am quiet I can stay with you?” He had beamed.  
“I never said that,” but despite all of 10k’s protesting, Floyd was adamant it was the best thing to do. Not that 10k had any idea why, they had just met but that question was answered rather quickly. It was quite obvious why Floyd wanted to travel with him after a mere couple of days. How he had survived so long by himself, 10k couldn’t comprehend. The boy was an absolute amateur. Where had he been the entire apocalypse? He couldn’t fire a gun, he had never even held one and his physical combat looked like cross between a river dance and a doggy paddle. 

Floyd had been incredibly refreshing to 10k. He wasn’t as intense as everyone else he had formed bonds with during the apocalypse. He was a light hearted and optimistic character, in spite of how dire everything seemed. He was a couple of years older than 10k and yet he seemed to be the most naive of the two. They were sitting by a lake, the stars twinkling in the reflection of the black water. The air was warm enough for them to be sat on the bonnet of the stolen Honda without shivering.   
“So.. 10 Thousand,” Floyd’s polish accent had emphasised the ‘th’ sound, “I never ask you why your name is number?”  
“It’s how many Z’s I’m going to kill,” 10k informed, smoking his cigarette as Floyd flashed him a pleasant grin.  
“Always good to have goals my mama had said,” Floyd didn’t look upset by mentioning her, “gives you something to carry on for, even if it is a bit ... strange.”  
10k chuckled as he watched Floyd tie his overgrown, copper ringlets into a bun. The tattoos of geometric shapes and skulls visible when his shirt rose with his shoulders. 10k took his eyes back to lake, distracting himself he asked,  
“So is your name actually Floyd? It doesn’t sound very Polish?”  
Floyd had raised his matching copper eyebrows and lit his cigarette,  
“That is micro aggression you know? You almost sound racist.”  
10k stammered an apology not intending to be offensive when he caught the mischievous glint in Floyd’s bottle green eyes.  
“You’re fucking with me aren’t you?” He sighed, relieved it was a joke.  
“It was too easy not to,” Floyd laughed, “no Floyd is a .. uh.. pet name? My birth name is Szczepan but you Americans have trouble with it. My cousins, I told you about, used to take piss out of my love with the band Pink Floyd when I was a teenager. I wore the T-shirt’s every day! So everyone started calling me Floyd. Easier than Szczepan no?”  
10k had tried to imagine Floyd before all this. Travelling through the states with his cousins and their instruments, trying to absorb the bright lights of the USA and then the world ended. In a country they barely knew, with a language that was foreign to their mother tongue. Never being able to ever gain any closure. Not being able to go home and see with his own eyes if his Mama had possibly survived. Then to have his cousins bitten, turned and being the only one fast enough to escape the ambush. He was probably more alone than 10k had ever been.

Acting his age had never come naturally to 10k but during his time with Floyd he had found himself behaving like a typical young person, minus all the Z’s.   
No crusades to save the world.   
No mind control.   
No Murphy.   
Floyd was the first person near 10k’s age that he had actually spent time with without transforming into a bumbling, socially awkward introvert. How could he afford to be when he was the only one who knew what he was doing? This had originally frustrated 10k. He was so used to being around people who were familiar with weapons and at one with their inner survivalist instincts. 10k took it upon himself to teach Floyd some skills by spending time practising shooting the slingshot at cans. He had even attempted to teach Floyd the basics in self defence, which he was appalling at. They had even been trying to catch fish from the lakes with make shift spears they had created from drift wood but after a while the lessons turned less about the importance of sieving and more about the fun they were having. They were smoking cigarettes and singing poorly to songs that they could remember from the radio and playing old car games like ‘I-Spy’. 10k had never got to appreciate the freedom that came with being a young adult and was now accepting that he could have fun without someone always dying as a consequence. 

One evening as they drove through a small town, Floyd immediately pulled up in an empty parking lot.   
“We should drink,” he had announced, getting out of the car without hesitation and pointing to building with the word ‘bar’ in an dead neon light.   
10k liked how Floyd was a very much needed breath of fresh air in what had, so far, been such a suffocating life. He portrayed being aloof and impulsive as not always having to be a bad quality. After ransacking the bar of everything decent to drink, they had sat cross legged on the centre of the small vinyl dance floor and dunk straight from the bottles.  
“My youngest cousin, Zuzanna,” Floyd was talking slowly, the alcohol affecting his speech and causing his accent to thicken, “you would have liked her. She was such a Babka! Always so serious, like you. Oh my would she be telling me off right now!,” he was still smiling at the memory even though 10k could see the hurt behind his eyes.   
“Babka?” 10k had tried to mimic the pronunciation but found himself making a borderline offensive accent.  
“Grandma,” Floyd translated before gulping from a bottle of clear liquid.   
“Did she not like you drinking?” 10k asked as he inhaled from his cigarette.  
“She always said I had bad taste in boys, this stuff make me have more bad taste,” he giggled as he tapped his bottle.   
10k could feel himself blushing. He had no idea that Floyd was into guys. He never even made a subtle hint until now.   
“You have bad taste too?” Floyd asked, his bright eyes examining 10k’s face.   
Did he have bad taste? He could instantly see Murphy’s trademark smirk and his brazen wink in his mind. 10k hadn’t realised that he had drifted off into his thoughts until he saw Floyd waiting expectantly.  
“Trust me, you don’t even want to know,” 10k smiled as Floyd nodded knowingly.  
“You know,” 10k embraced that false confidence that alcohol supplies,   
“I think you have to be one of the nicest people I’ve met, I mean totally unprepared but definitely nice.”  
Floyd laughed as he removed his hoodie, revealing his muscular, tattooed arms before stealing the cigarette from 10k’s hands. A familiar tension was surrounding him only this time, he was feeling less like the prey.   
Floyd shook his head, a few loose curls falling and framing his face as he spoke,  
“you are nice for letting me come with you.”  
“You didn’t really give me much of a choice,” 10k quipped before he even realised Floyd had brought his face close to his. Then just like that they were kissing. Floyd being the second person he had ever kissed, 10k panicked. He barely responded. Unsure on how to engage with someone that wasn’t Murphy. Wasn’t dominating the situation or orchestrating the moment. 

“Sorry,” Floyd began to apologise contritely, “I thought you were into it but it’s ok, I was wro...”  
10k didn’t allow him to finish his sentence as he grabbed Floyd by the front of his shirt and kissed him back. It was wet, clumsy and at times uncoordinated but it was real. A real person that didn’t know anything about him and still wanted to kiss him. 10k could feel Floyd’s hands on his neck, forcing him to break away before Floyd could feel the scars under his fingers.   
“I think you are good person,” Floyd breathed as he placed a hand on top of 10k’s.  
It wasn’t a possessive gesture, like what 10k was used to. It was nice to be wanted in such a harmless way. To just be able to enjoy the moment without having that worrying itch that something bad was going to happen.   
“I’m happy you stalked me,” 10k teased before they kissed again but this time it wasn’t so unskillful, it was deeper, amorous. 

10k and Floyd embarked on their unexpected relationship like two college students, wrapped up in that honeymoon period bubble. 10k had been laying in the backseat of the car, coiled into Floyd’s arms when he first heard the voices. He was originally listening for any Z’s that might have got curious about the stationary car when he could hear the whisper of a conversation. Alarmed, he opened his eyes wide, his arm instinctively reaching down to the footwell were his rifle was, when he realised the noises were more like echos. Almost as if he was eavesdropping through the wall of a weakly built house.   
They were inside his head.  
His chest tightened as he recognised the voices.   
‘...”Oh Roberta you know how this goes,” Murphy’s silky tone sung.  
“You are going to come with us Murphy and that’s final,” Roberta demanded, “you can’t just deny your responsibilities...”  
“No, I refuse,” Murphy said coldly, “the tables have turned Warren and I’m no ones experiment, not anymore.”...’  
“Fuck no,” 10k had murmured.  
It had been radio silence since leaving Murphytown. He didn’t know the exact science behind this blend bond, but what he did know was that the sound of Murphy’s voice wasn’t a good sign.  
It had been a little over 4 months in total from what 10k could tell. 4 months and 10k was just able to bare the thought of Murphy. It stung him rather than utterly tearing him apart. Hearing his voice again had most certainly rubbed the largest of grains of the saltiest salt into what was a potentially, partially healing wound.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k talks to Addy.
> 
> 10k POV

Trying to explain to Floyd what was happening had been an almighty task. With there already being a slight language barrier and 10k not really demonstrating enough patience, then add the ‘zombie king/cure of mankind’ being your ex boyfriend in there with a sprinkle of telepathic, mind controlling abilities... 10k supposed it was a lot of information to digest.  
“So... this Murphy... he can make people both Z and not Z?” Floyd asked, trying to put the pieces together of this complex jigsaw that was 10k’s life.  
10k nodded as he shot a Z that was hobbling along the other side of the street.  
“You couldn’t see friends because he wanted you to kill them? Now you can hear him talk to friends inside your head? That’s bad thing yes?” Floyd was smoking his third cigarette in a row as he watched 10k nod again.  
“So you want to go find friends?” He asked.  
10k sighed with annoyance, which he knew was unfair of him really, it is not the most easiest story to have to explain to someone who hadn’t experienced it.   
“I can’t let him hurt them,” 10k pressed, “if they die and I didn’t do anything to help... I can’t be that person Floyd. They are the closest thing to family I have.”  
Floyd looked deep in contemplation as he pushed himself off the bonnet of the Honda.  
“If you see that man what will you do?” He asked, his eyes narrowed at 10k’s perplexed expression.  
“What you mean? I want to try stop Murphy, make him see that Warren is doing the right thing....”  
“That’s all?” Floyd interrupted, “you don’t want to see him then?”  
“Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?” 10k snapped.  
“I hear you say that name, Murphy, when asleep,” Floyd barked back, “I think maybe it is sad past so I ignore but you dream about Murphy a lot and now I know why!”  
10k jumped from the bonnet, landing directly in front of Floyd. He had never seen this side of him. In their time together 10k had only known Floyd to be playful and cheery, occasionally mournful for the family and friends he had lost but never aggressive.   
“He’s in my head? The bite on my neck? You know this Floyd?” 10k tried to reach a hand out to touch Floyd’s shoulder to which Floyd took a step back.  
“Even without bite he is in your head,” Floyd’s lip snarled, “I know you care for friends, you are loyal I see that, but you see that Murphy and you will drop me in heartbeat.”  
10k stood in complete shock. It was true Murphy had been haunting his sleep recently. He could hear him talking to Wesson, laughing alongside the clinking of glasses, feel him pining for him. He hadn’t known he had been talking though. With the increasing conversations about Warren and the others 10k couldn’t block it out anymore. The Concern was starting weigh on him like sacks of bricks tied to his ankles. He had to tell Floyd the truth. He owed it to him but 10k didn’t realise the truth was going to upset him as much as it had.  
“You love him don’t you? That why you did not say back to me the other night,” Floyd stated as he pulled his hair from his face, revealing his freckle dashed forehead, distress clear in his eyes “you say he is bad person but you love him. What does that make you?”  
10k stewed in silence. What was he supposed to say to that? He wanted to deny it. He wanted to contest the entire notion of it. Tell Floyd that it was preposterous but he knew, he knew that not enough time would ever pass for him to forget Murphy.   
“This is about helping my friends,” 10k simply said.

10k had been sat at the radio they had found in the town for the last hour trying to get some sort sound other than the static crackling.  
“Operation bite-mark do you copy? I repeat operation bite-mark it’s 10k speaking, do you copy?” He repeated for the umpteenth time. He twirled one of the dials and for the first time appreciated how frustrated citizen Z must have felt when trying to communicate with the group. Addy was so much better at this then he was. He was just guessing which button did what and prayed for a fluke. Floyd had been sitting on the office chair, swivelling in circles as he watched 10k.  
“It would be nice if you found music,” he had reflected.   
He hadn’t spoken to 10k directly for the past few hours since their spat. He just followed whatever 10k had told him he was doing.  
“What would you like to hear?” 10k asked, slightly relieved that Floyd was calming down.   
“Isn’t it obvious?” He flashed 10k a brilliant, toothy smile which almost made him want to abandon the entire idea of finding the others and just kiss him.  
“Okay... what song?” 10k asked, flicking a switch which did absolutely nothing to the radio.  
“That is tough choice! All songs amazing don’t you think?” He asked, scooting the chair beside 10k.  
“I’ve never heard them apart from what you’ve sung,” 10k admitted, a chuckle escaping his mouth at Floyd’s horrified expression.  
“Wish you were here,” Floyd said thoughtfully after a moment of careful consideration.  
“Huh?” 10k asked as he turned another dial anti-clockwise.  
“The song, wish you were here,” he slid back into the chair and started plucking at his invisible guitar strings and humming a dreamy tune.  
When Floyd started singing 10k actually stopped to observe him lost on his memory of music. It was sorrowfully enchanting sight. The way Floyd had his eyes squeezed shut as though he could envision the music behind his eyelids. His long fingers responding to tactile memory as they strummed the imaginary strings and pressed down on the chords against the ghost of the guitar. They had probably once knew the instrument so well. His voice was huskier than 10k expected, his accent completely absent from where he had learnt all the lyrics in English.

“How I wish, how I wish you were here.  
We're just two lost souls,  
Swimming in a fish bowl.  
Year after year,  
Running over the same old ground  
And how we found  
The same old fears,  
Wish you were here.”

What if Murphy hurt him just to spite 10k? Floyd was a musician, sensitive and soulful. He wouldn’t stand a chance against someone as manipulative and cruel as Murphy could be. He must have known that 10k was with someone. If 10k could hear Murphy there was nothing to suggest it wasn’t a two way street. There was a sudden screech from the radio causing them both to jump in their seats. Through the white noise a voice was trying to speak. It was robotic and muffled but recognisably a voice. He spun a dial and adjusted the volume, his heart soaring at the women’s voice at the other end.  
“10k are you there, over? It’s Addy 10k, please respond.”  
Addy. It was Addy.   
“I’m here Addy!” He shouted with excitement, “I’m here!”  
“Oh my god 10k!” He could hear her joy in her squeal, “you’re alive! Of course you’re alive!”  
“Is everyone ok?” 10k asked, worried at the amount of silence there was before the reply.  
“Warren and Doc are fine, we’re with some others that can help when we finally get Murphy’s butt to where it needs to be but Vasquez...” her tone dropped slightly, audible even through the crappy signal.  
10k inhaled deeply and took a moment to remember his friend. It was unlikely that everyone was going to survive all that time. It didn’t stop it from hurting though.  
“I’m coming to find you guys, I need to tell you what’s been going on, where are you?” He questioned whilst watching Floyd listen to him.  
“We’re in the woods north of Murphytown,” she said, “I was just messing around in the rangers station when I heard that beautiful voice of yours.”  
“Don’t go to Murphy again without me, tell Warren to leave it alone until I talk to her,” he instructed.  
“How do you know Warren has seen Murphy?” Addy asked.  
“I’ll tell you when I see you, I’m coming to find you.”  
“Stay alive 10k,” Addy said tenderly.  
10k was overflowing with emotions at the prospect of seeing her again. Knowing that after this time she hadn’t stopped caring.  
“Copy that,” he signed off, the sound of static filling the room once more.

As they thundered along the stretch of road, Floyd’s grip on the steering wheel was tight. 10k could see the white of his knuckles.  
“You ok?” He asked, eyeing Floyd from the passenger seat.  
“I thought you were just uptight personality but it is serious. I have never done anything serious before...” he confessed, “I messed up school, played music, never had a proper job. My boyfriends were trash and I traveled countries because serious is scary yes?”  
10k was quiet as he allowed Floyd to vent. He wasn’t really sure what to say in these situations. Yes, he had feelings for Floyd but he didn’t really know him well enough to tell him what he wanted to hear because 10k didn’t know what that was. His parents had never been the ‘wear you heart on your sleeve’ type, even from the very little he called recall about his Ma. He never saw his Pa cry and he never really talked about anything that had happened to him. Even when his Ma died, his Pa just never spoke about her again. That was that. Warren and Addy had sometimes had their outbursts but it was never directly aimed at 10k. Vasquez was the strong silent type and Doc just made a big joke out of everything. Murphy tried to tell 10k how he felt about things but seemed to get the words twisted and it nearly always resulted in sex.   
“After zombies everything what was serious was not serious. You have been trying to save world and I have just been... been? You know? Meeting you has made me more than that. I don’t don’t want to loose you so soon,” Floyd let one hand drop from the steering wheel and gently squeezed 10k’s knee.  
To hear Floyd talking like this suddenly made him less two dimensional.   
“I know you think I am... er? How you say? Irrational? We don’t know each other well but I really care for you,” Floyd admitted whilst swerving around an oncoming Z.   
10k did understand. He had felt the same about Murphy. How even though everything was moving so fast he embraced every waking moment of it because who knew how long you would have to enjoy it? The world they were existing in only gave you so long to love something before it was torn away from your grasp.   
He didn’t know what was going to happen when he was reunited with the others. He didn’t know if Murphy was going to be all guns blazing in a childish tantrum or willingly agree to come to some awkward compromise but 10k was certain it was going to be a can worms opening for his own emotions. He would have given anything to have fallen in love with Floyd as intensely as he had with Murphy but he couldn’t force it. That didn’t mean he didn’t care about him. He didn’t want him to get hurt in any of this. He placed a hand over the top of Floyd’s and nodded.  
“I understand,” he had said, “I really care for you to.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

This was the typical kind of warm welcome that Murphy had expected from his old companions. He couldn’t prevent his eyes from rolling to the back of his sockets at how predictable they were. Everyone was standing in a western stand off. Guns were raised from every pair of hands and wearing the same threatening expressions on their faces.   
Some things just don’t change.  
“Let’s just drop the formalities shall we?” He sighed, mentally commanding his blends to lowered their weapons as a gesture of good will.  
Warren kept her aim, one eyebrow raised with that suspicious curiosity.   
“I doubt you’ve come to tell us you’ve seen the light,” she sassed, making Murphy smile at the familiarity of it.  
God, he had missed her. More than he realised. When she initially attempted to stampede her way through his walls he was as thrilled to see her as he was infuriated. Now he wasn’t so sure if he had just come to provoke her, poke the bear, for some defiance. Having everyone agree with you all the time could often be ... boring.   
“I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page,” he insisted, taking a seat on an a large boulder, “I don’t want to fight with you Warren, with any of you.”  
“Then why don’t you just get your head out of you ass and come with us?” Warren exasperated through gritted teeth, “let Sun Mei work with you?”  
Murphy’s eyes examined the new woman with her hair tied back too tightly and the sternness of her jaw.   
‘Yeah, cause she looks like she’s up for a good time,’ he mocked internally.   
“Don’t you think I have given enough?” He asked genuinely, “don’t you think that I’ve shed enough blood? Traveled enough miles? And we have done Warren it went tits up. Maybe that is the universes way of saying it’s time to give up? Try something else.”  
“You think the universe wants everyone to be blends?” Addy said skeptically, “and for you to be able to control them all?”  
Murphy had not heard it summed up so plainly but that was the basic jist of it.  
He shrugged theatrically,  
“The universe is a strange and mystic being.”  
“Who do you think you are saying you know what the universe wants?” Warren scoffed as though Murphy was the most absurd person on the planet.  
“Who do you think you are saying what it doesn’t want?” Murphy deflected, “we have tried. I did the little quest thing to California and when that turned into a massive clusterfuck I went on the damn ship! I went on the big bloody boat and guess what Warren? They weren’t planning on saving the likes of us!”  
He hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant to expose the truth about what was on that ship. About how the cure was only going to be available to those who could afford it. Even to someone as avaricious as himself, Murphy couldn’t see the point in it when money had no value amongst the land of the dead. He had only chipped at the tip of the iceberg when he had decided to abandon that mission. He hadn’t endured all what they had, was going to loose 10k and most importantly, sacrifice himself for a bunch of billionaire assholes that had been living hunky dory on some deserted island somewhere.   
No fucking way. 

“What you saying Murph?” Doc asked, the creases around his eyes deepening.  
“You’re not a fool old man, you know what I am saying,” his eyes flickered to Warren who’s gun had slightly sunk in position.  
“They were gonna drain me dry and stick drips into all those rich folk that hopped into their private jets and flew the fuck away from this mess,” he explained, “I felt no obligation to help those bastards when the people that deserve it are stood right here.”   
“It was a bad experience,” Sun Mei stayed, “but I can assure you my government is not replicating that. We can’t help everyone.”  
Murphy’s eyebrows furrowed with a dubious look,  
“And you’re government is?” He asked as he searched his inside jacket pocket for his cigarettes.  
“Beijing,” Sun Mei said with obvious pride.  
“China?” Murphy snorted as he lit his cigarette, “you think I’m going to trust China?”  
“How do we know you’re telling the truth?” Addy asked her eyes distrusting and yet she looked almost sad, sad that she couldn’t trust him.  
Murphy thought for a moment but he had no witnesses. Well, not after Merch’s suicide and 10k was unconscious the entire time.   
“You can’t,” he said, blowing a trail of smoke from his lips.   
What he wanted to say was how he had went willingly on that ship because he thought he could finally do something worthwhile with his miserable life. Thought he could at least earn some respect, but he wasn’t gonna do it for those fat cats.   
Of course, he didn’t say any of that.  
The air was still for a moment. It seemed that no one could decide if Murphy was being genuine.   
“You could of just been a coward,” Warren mused, “cold feet at the last minute.”  
Murphy knew they wouldn’t be so easily convinced. He knew they were smarter than what they appeared. Didn’t stop him feeling dejected by their unwillingness to at least try and believe him.   
“You could try again?” Warren added, her tone changing to one that was more sympathetic, “Murphy you could still make something of yourself. Come with us and we can do it right this time. We can do it together.”  
For a moment, Murphy considered it. The ultimate redemption for a lifetime of poor choices and selfishness. Then, who did he really owe it too? Who was going to thank him even if China were creating a real cure?   
He shook his head and watched as the hope drained from Warren’s eyes.

“People have the right to free will, to be human, you can’t just decide that for people,” Warren reminded him.  
“What do you think I am?” He barked with agitation, “if people want to be human let them but when they see that they have no place in this new world they will come to me.”  
That much was true. He had no intentions of world domination, not yet anyway. He wasn’t going to force people to be under his control unless circumstances needed them to be. This was merely another option. The better option.   
“Like 10k?” Doc muttered bitterly.  
Murphy locked eyes with the old hippy, stunned at his audacity to mention it.   
‘Of course,’ he thought, ‘if 10k was going to tell anyone it would be the father he never had.’  
“I didn’t want the kid to die,” Murphy persisted, eager to steer the conversation away from 10k, “totally different.”  
He was greeted by another silence.  
He looked to Addy with the most earnest of expressions he owned, to which she diverted her gaze to the ground.  
Murphy was loosing his patience as he flicked his cigarette away.  
“Well this is my offer,” he started in his best salesman impersonation, “I’m not coming with you, I’m done with all this. You can come with us, one little Injection, I don’t even need to do bite you anymore and it’s all over. No more fear, no more running. Equally, I am happy to let you walk away, go and be human. Inevitably die and become Z anyway but you leave me alone. You don’t disturb my business anymore. If you do, I’ll have no choice but to act as though you are threatening me.”  
“Please, please listen!” Sun Mei cried out, “you can’t just leave it like this!”  
“Oh yes I can sweet cheeks and nothing,” he pointed a warning finger at Warren, “not even you Roberta, is going to stop me.”  
Warren broke into a smirk, an official recognition of accepting Murphy’s challenge. He smiled a predatory grin back at her.  
“Those are my terms so ...” he was distracted by the sound of new footfalls upon the crisp leaves and fallen foliage.   
He was as equally surprised as everyone else to see 10k. His rifle hung slackly on his shoulder, his goggles holding his bandana in place amongst his untamed hair. He stood with his weight on one mud coated boot as the other leg bent nonchalantly outwards.  
“See Murphy,” 10k started with a serious bearing, “you’re starting to sound like you’re all bark and no bite.”


	18. Chapter 18

Murphy had to focus unnaturally hard to not let his mind race at the sight of 10k. He didn’t want him to know what he was thinking in that very moment which was actually several things.  
Punch him in the face.  
Say something witty.  
Grab him by the neck and kiss him until they were fighting for oxygen.   
He couldn’t let 10k see that he had that affect him. Not with such a broad, judgemental audience present.   
10k slinked past Murphy, their shoulders almost brushing, that old spark of electricity ignited between them just the way it used to. They almost circled each other in that animalistic, agonistic manner. Eyes locked intensely even though it only lasted a few seconds.  
Maybe Murphy’s mother was right.  
‘Absense makes the heart grow fonder,’ she had told him.  
“Thomas,” he greeted him with that raised lip he knew made 10k have to swallow the dryness in his throat, “nice of you to join our little reunion.”  
10k went to walk away when he cocked his head to someone behind Murphy, signalling a person to join them.  
A lanky kid with a mass of red curls scraped into a man bun followed 10k to stand with the others behind Warren. Addy linked her arm around his and Doc squeezed 10k on his other shoulder. Pleased to back together. The old team.

Murphy didn’t have to do an algebraic equation to know who the new kid was. He recognised the sharpness of his jaw line and his wide, thick lips from invading 10k’s mind. That poison which was jealousy was rapidly spreading through his veins as he imagined 10k’s slender fingers trail down the kids decorated arms.   
“You remember I could make you kill them all right now?” Murphy asked, “it just takes me to think it and my problem is resolved.”  
“There’s more of us than there is 10k,” Warren bluffed cooly.  
Murphy snorted at Warren’s brazen approach. He knew she was soft underneath all that thickened skin.   
“You wouldn’t want to risk hurting the kid,” he stated nodding in 10k’s direction.  
Seeing how close he was standing next to the red head made his lip twitch.  
“Oh Murphy,” Warren said in a taunting tone, “we both know that you wouldn’t either.”  
“He’s not thinking about making me kill you,” 10k interjected, a smug, knowing look on his face.  
He could feel what Murphy had felt.   
‘That’s a bit inconvenient,’ Murphy thought.  
“Wait,” the young man addressed 10k with an accent, “this man here is Murphy?”  
“The one and only,” Murphy exclaimed, making a showy gesture with his hands.  
“He is older, could be your father no?” The kid asked 10k in serious confusion.  
10k blushed fuchsia as Addy and Doc struggled to stifle their laughter. Even Warren exhaled with amusement whereas Sun Mei just looked perplexed.  
Murphy was more than unimpressed with the comment.   
What he lacked in stamina he more than compensated for with experience.   
“You must be the rebound,” Murphy sneered.  
“Don’t,” 10k snapped with a stern frown.   
“Murphy lets not get off topic here,” Warren reigned the conversation back, “you and 10k can sort this out on our way back to Sun Mei’s base.”  
Murphy groaned. How was it possible to love and hate the same quality in a person?  
“For the last fucking time I am not...”

Murphy didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. The ground beneath their feet was trembling tremendously. Murphy was caught off balance as was everyone else. The tree’s shook as an almighty rumble tore its way through the earth.   
“A herd?” Addy shouted over the thunderous noise as she steadied herself on 10k’ arm.   
Murphy tried to tune into any Z’s but he could only hear a handful at most. So it was unlikely that it was an approaching herd.   
“I don’t think so,” he had shouted.  
As quickly as it started, it halted. Everything stood in a eerie, motionless state. Too still.  
“Earthquake?” Doc suggested.  
Murphy was distracted by a wet droplet hitting him between the eyes. He touched it gingerly as he inspected the wetness between his fingertips. Just a few moments ago it was the clearest of blue sky’s. Not a cloud to be seen through the leaves of the trees. Now it could have been the darkest hour of the night. The sky had become one blanket of menacingly, grey storm clouds.   
“Who changed the weather?” He pondered aloud.   
Everyone was staring up at the sky with confusion.  
‘Just when you think the apocalypse couldn’t get any more weirder,’ Murphy thought.  
“I don’t know what this is but we need get mov...”   
before Warren could say another word the ground rattled as a crash of thunder deafened them. Murphy went to turn away and head back to the car when there was an ear splitting ‘crack’ from beneath them.  
The ground was beginning to split open, the earth just crumbling away. Murphy yelped as he lost his footing, falling backwards as though the rug at been pulled from underneath his feet. Only it wasn’t a rug, it was the god damn ground. He squinted as he shook off the throbbing the was building on the back of his head. The sky was an obsidian black, flashes of white lightening illuminating the shapes of the clouds.   
“What the fuck is happening?” He cried as he scrambled onto his knees to which, for the first time since being restrained on that fateful day in prison, he was greeted by a sight that horrified him. The ground was completely caving inwards, it was steadily disintegrating away from him and towards where Warren was now standing.   
“Warren! Move!” Murphy warned.  
That’s when he saw 10k dive towards her. Grabbing her by her jacket and swinging her away from the edge. As he shoved her forwards, 10k tumbled backwards.

Murphy didn’t have feline reflexes the way 10k did. He watched as 10k managed to turn his body whilst in the air, his foot almost getting caught on the edge of the crack, but not enough to prevent him from landing on Murphy’s side of the split. Panicked, Murphy had a slight delay before rising to his feet and racing towards 10k. Holding him by the scruff of his jacket as he dragged him away from the edge. Together with the blends, they witnessed in dismay as the ground continued to open. Warren and the others were running as fast as their feet could carry them to outrun the possibility of the earth swallowing them whole. After what felt like forever, but in reality could only have only been a few minutes, the hole finally ceased its rampage. 10k shrugged Murphy off as he nervously stood up to inspect the damage. Moments ago they had all been standing not but 10 feet apart but now there was a gigantic crater in between them. Murphy stretched his head to look at it length ways and it seemed to stretch for on for miles and miles. He grimaced as he then dared to peek over the edge to see how deep it was. It was impossible to tell, it was a dark pit like an entrance to hell itself. No visible evidence that there even was a bottom to it.   
“Holy shit,” Murphy exclaimed as he saw Warren and the others examining there side of the split.   
“10k are you ok?” Doc shouted from what could have easily been 100 yards away.   
“Yeah I’m good, everyone ok there?” 10k called back.  
“I’m fine too!” Murphy hollered, “thanks for asking!”  
“We all made it!” Addy shouted.  
Murphy heard 10k’s sigh of relief before bellowing,  
“Floyd! Floyd stay with Warren! I will come find you ok? Just stay with them!”  
Floyd.   
Never mind a ‘thank you Murphy for pulling my ass back from the massive canyon that I was going to fall into’.   
No, we must check in on Floyd.  
“Ok! We will figure this out!” Floyd had replied.   
Murphy rubbed his palm across his face in frustration. How did this crap always happen to him? Had he really been the bad of a person? Maybe he had been part of the wrong political party in a former life? One good aspect of all this was that at least 10k was there. Really there and not just a voice in his head. He didn’t know what the right thing was to say in this moment. 10k had been longing to be reunited with operation bite-mark and their reunion had been extremely short lived. He hadn’t turned away from the group on the other side yet to even face Murphy. So Murphy did the only comforting thing he could offer under such times of immense pressure.   
“He kid,” he said softly as he nudged 10k’s upper arm.  
10k gave Murphy the faintest of smiles as he accepted the cigarette.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV
> 
> Murphy and 10k are reunited and it’s all too much for 10k.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know the update is late but I got a bit distracted by life (argh).
> 
> Please enjoy!

For the briefest of moments 10k had forgotten all the contempt and rage he had been holding on to for Murphy. They smoked their cigarettes in silence as they watched the others on the opposite side of the rift gather into a huddle.  
“Looks like they’re making a plan,” Murphy mused.  
“Maybe we should make a plan,” 10k suggested, not entirely sure where to even start.  
Murphy hummed an indistinguishable tune as he walked away from the edge, his blends following close behind him.  
“Where are you going?” 10k asked turning to watch Murphy in dismay.  
‘How pathetic,’ 10k thought, ‘barely been near the asshole for two minutes and I already don’t want him to leave.’  
“Where do you think I’m going?” Murphy said as he straightened out his blazer lapels, “I’m going to check on Murphytown.”  
10k took the opportunity to get a better look at Murphy. The blue patches of his skin had faded so they looked like slight bruises, his hair still a shocking blonde. He stood tall in a navy pinstriped suit. Handsome and as fetching as ever.  
“But the others?” 10k said, cursing himself for foolishly believing that Murphy would be concerned for their welfare.  
“They are alive and on the other side of that great gaping hole in the ground,” Murphy pointed towards them, “what you want me to do kid? Sprout wings out my ass and fly us over there?”  
“I promised Floyd..” he started before promptly closing his mouth at the sound of Murphy’s disgruntled groan.  
“That’s his name then?” He sneered, “Floyd?”  
The name sounded dirty coming from Murphy’s lips. He said it as though he was rolling a sour sweet across his tongue.  
“Murphy we gotta do something,” 10k pleaded, unsure what that something was but he was adamant they couldn’t just do nothing.  
Murphy gave 10k the once over, his eyes dragging along 10k’s body. It still gave 10k butterflies in the pit of his gut seeing Murphy regard him like that. A predator visually consuming its prey. He kicked himself for still holding on to those feelings. Feelings for a man who only thought of his own needs.  
Murphy flung his head back with frustration, his hands curling into tight fists. Clearly conflicted between his own selfish agenda and wanting to please 10k.  
“Fine,” 10k huffed, deflated, confused and panicked, “you go and I’ll find another way.”  
Murphy was suddenly close to 10k, his barrelled chest pressed against 10k’s. Murphy’s hands ever so slightly brushing against his, those piercing eyes penetrating through his skull. 10k had to remind himself to breathe.  
‘Don’t make me beg,’ he heard Murphy’s voice echo inside his mind, his mouth still firmly pressed onto a tight line.

Murphytown was only minimally damaged by the strange ‘not so natural’ disaster. One building collapsed, a few blends needed bandaging back up and some windows would need replacing but overall it was the best case scenario. 10k had felt incredibly uncomfortable on his return to the community he had fled from. He could see the way people were glancing at him from the corner of their eyes as he passed through the grounds and hear their hushed whispering as soon as his back was turned.  
When he had waited for Murphy in his open planned office he could recognise Wesson’s clear distain as he saw 10k. He had snarled when he radioed through to the other blends that they should be prepared for trouble. 10k had rolled his eyes so hard he almost saw the inside of their sockets. 10k kept pacing by the window, looking out onto the foreboding rift in the earth with a sickening knot in his intestines. He had just got them back. He had just got a handle on his situation with Murphy and it was all torn from his fingertips in moments. He didn’t even contemplate saving Warren. It was just instinct. The woman was like his adoptive mother for Christ sake, he had to get her away from the edge but it was saving Warren that got him separated. He had left Floyd with a bunch of strangers. He knew Floyd was in good hands but Warren and the others didn’t even know why Floyd was with 10k and they were not exactly the most trusting of humans. He couldn’t blame them after some the absolutely insane people they had crossed paths with on their travels to California. The sky was still a smouldering black, the clouds drifting rapidly across the dark canvas. Although the world was a shadowed by a storm the heat in the room was stifling. 10k had to remove some layers, the sweat was rolling down his neck and making his hair wet and sticking behind his ears. He threw his leather jacket over the chair and started to fan himself with his shirt. He could almost hear Doc in his mind lecturing the others about climate change and thought how he would have silently agreed with him while everyone argued.  
“Are you purposely trying to set me up here?”  
10k turned from the window to see Murphy enter the room with that self assured swagger. He too must have felt the intensity of the heat as he had ditched his suit for a plain black Tee and a pair of dark jeans. His biceps highlighted by the hem of the sleeves, even his most basic attire still flattered his bold personality.  
“Huh?” 10k arched an eyebrow as he watched Murphy reach for a bottle of whiskey, like a child with a comfort blanket.  
“You standing there, flashing your abs and looking all hot and sweaty,” Murphy cleared his throat as he poured himself a generous portion.  
10k was overcome with self consciousness, he laughed sheepishly as he wiped beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.  
“I need to get back to the others,” 10k said, distracting his thoughts away from being alone with Murphy, from wanting to engage in the flirtatious banter.  
“You really know how to ruin a moment you know that right?,” Murphy sniggered as he stood by 10k’s side, looking out of the window with thoughtful eyes.  
“What’s the rush?” Murphy asked bringing his glass to his lips, “missing Floyd?”  
10k snorted as he cracked his stiff neck. Why was everything about possession with Murphy? He was so jealous, so controlling it was ridiculous. Even now after everything, after this time apart, Murphy still felt that he had the right to be envious.  
“He’s a good guy..” 10k started to defend his new lover when Murphy raised his hand, motioning him to stop speaking. Much to 10k’s annoyance he found his words evaporated into the muggy air without his consent.  
“You said you wouldn’t do that,” 10k pouted, disappointed that Murphy was willing to upset him this early on.  
“I won’t listen to you talk about how fucking wonderful some indie douchebag kid you’ve known for like 5 minutes is ok?” Murphy justified, “I just won’t.”

10k couldn’t help but feel protective of Floyd, even though he wasn’t there to hear 10k defend him he knew it would be low of him to just let Murphy write him off.  
“You don’t know anything about him...” he had started to which Murphy interrupted with a hoarse, sarcastic cackle.  
“Tommy please, I know more than you would like me to know!” He insisted, “I know how you get all ‘teenage kicks’ with him. You go all gooey and stupid like a freaking school girl.”  
He swigged from his glass as he tried to suppress his anger before pointing a callous finger at 10k,  
“I know that you feel like you need to save him, you think he’s vulnerable and sweet and you like the way he laughs.”  
10k could not of scowled any harder of he had tried. Murphy had been tapping into his feelings and thoughts just like he had suspected. It was a complete invasion of his privacy and that somewhat tainted anything that 10k and Floyd had experienced. Now 10k knew for a fact there was indeed an unseeable third party present in those moments, those moments felt degraded.  
Murphy closed the gap between them, using his size to make himself appear more dominant.  
“I know that when he kisses you here,” Murphy used the same finger to point towards 10k’s throat, “it turns you on. I know that he strokes the length of your spine when you make out and you like that, makes you all tingly inside. He does a lot of gentle things right? It’s all very sickeningly romantic and sure it’s always fun, you’re a young man after all, but it’s not what you’re really into is it?”  
10k wasn’t sure if he was burning red because he was mortified that Murphy had been snooping on his sex life like a pervert or if it was just from how damn hot it was but he had to divert his eyes away from Murphy’s knowing face. Murphy leant towards 10k’s ear and smirked,  
“I don’t doubt that he’s a nice kid but nice doesn’t get you going does it?”  
10k bit down on his bottom lip revealing its pink flesh between his teeth as he breathed heavily though his nose. Murphy was so painfully close. 10k’s body was desperate to cave to the familiarity of the scent of whisky and the bristles of Murphy’s beard prickling against his jaw.  
“Nice doesn’t make your heart pound in your chest and your knees tremble at the thought of him touching you,” Murphy purred, bogarting 10k till he was backed up against the wall.  
10k couldn’t resist letting his hands grip onto Murphy’s biceps as he felt the over bearing weight of the older man pressing against him. He could feel Murphy’s excitement as 10k allowed the intrusive contact to continue. Murphy’s large hand making its way to 10k’s throat, he firmly applied pressure to 10k’s Adam’s apple as he watched 10k close his eyes.

‘You need to move away,’ 10k commanded himself, ‘stop liking this so much you absolute idiot, remember what he’s done...’  
“Tell me Thomas,” Murphy’s fingers were gently wiping the sweat from 10k’s neck, “did you ever think of me when you were with him huh? Not just the sex, I mean ever? Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”  
‘Oh god I’ve missed him,’ 10k thought bitterly, ‘what is wrong with me?’  
In a desperate attempt to take control of his body he moaned with frustration as he almost reluctantly pushed Murphy away from him. 10k grabbed his jacket as he went to make a quick escape from the room before he did something he might regret. 10k couldn’t determine if he was trying to flee because Murphy was too close to the truth or if he was ashamed that he was still so weak to Murphy’s charm but Murphy was right and that made 10k feel like the vilest of people.  
“No, no, no,” Murphy said, “come back here, you can’t just have a tantrum and walk away.”  
10k was pissed to see himself walking back towards Murphy, his mind momentarily trapped in a fleshy puppet with no strings.  
“You had no right to be in my head especially when I was... well, you know,” 10k exclaimed, humiliated.  
“Is that really why you’re throwing a bitch fit?” Murphy sighed with a raised eyebrow.  
“You’re a bastard,” 10k spat bitterly, amazed at how little self control he had.  
Murphy made a low grumble in his throat that resembled a growl,  
“you think I wanted to know that someone else was touching you? Was fucking you? You think I wanted to know that you moved on so easily?”  
10k blinked harshly as he exhaled with bemusement,  
“You think any of this has been easy?”  
“I’ve had to feel you and him together,” Murphy’s expression and tone had changed, “that was pretty rough you know kid.”  
He was no longer mocking and taunting like before, he sounded almost pained.

10k rubbed his mouth with his palm, what was he supposed to say to that?  
Murphy placed his glass on the edge of his desk and positioned himself so that he was behind 10k. He tenderly let his hands rest on 10k’s tense shoulders and bowed his head so it rested into the back of 10k’s. He knew he should have retracted from the gesture. He should had have shouted and threatened to kill him. He should have done anything but he didn’t. He couldn’t. He just allowed his body to melt into the comfort of Murphy’s shape behind him.  
“Can we just take a minute to be us please?” Murphy whispered into 10k’s neck, “just stop all the bullshit and the drama and just be me and you? Before it all got complicated? Just for a second?”  
10k could feel Murphy’s lips on his warm neck as his teeth nipped at his hot skin. He should have been repulsed by his very touch, he should have thrown his head back and broke Murphy’s nose but the ugly truth that 10k had been fighting was that he simply didn’t want to. He wanted to pretend also that all the complications that the zombie apocalypse had inflicted on their relationship weren’t real. He wanted to feel Murphy against his skin and not be riddled with guilt and shame. Just a brief moment of weakness, that’s all 10k wanted.  
Murphy made a noise that indicated he was pleased that 10k reciprocated the feelings. His hands slid from 10k’s shoulders and coiled themselves around 10k’s waist.  
“Is this me or you?,” 10k asked, his skin sensitive to Murphy’s touch under his shirt, the warmth of Murphy’s breath along his neck made him quiver slightly.  
“This is all you Thomas, you say the word and I’ll stop,” 10k could feel Murphy’s fingers dig deep into his skin, his crouch pushing against 10k’s backside.  
“Tell me that you haven’t thought about me and I’ll stop,” Murphy pulled 10k closer into his body as was physically possible, one hand cupping 10k’s sharp jaw and tilting it up upwards while the other remained on his waist.  
“Come on 10k tell me how much you hate me,” Murphy grumbled, his fingertips forcefully applying pressure to 10k’s face.  
10k was not frightened though, he was not panicked by how tight the grasp was or how Murphy seemed to spit venom with his words. He actually kind of liked it. Liked how undone Murphy became around him. When they were alone. How he dropped the playboy facade and showed some real emotions, even if they weren’t nice.  
Maybe 10k was a bad person.  
He fleeting recalled Floyd shouting at him,  
‘He’s a bad person but you love him? So what does that make you?’  
10k sighed as he felt Murphy tuck a stray strand of 10k’s hair under his bandana. Murphy cocked his head to the side thoughtfully and confessed,  
“I think I love you, you know? There I said it.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Floyd POV

Floyd was disturbed by the soft sound of his oldest cousin Filip chortling in his ear,  
“Wake up młodszy brat!”  
Floyd raised his head dazedly from the arm of the damp couch he was rested on and squinted into the darkness of the strange room it appeared he had been sleeping in.  
“Filip?” He whispered, confused to hear his deceased cousins voice.  
“Chodź tutaj!” Zuzanna’s nasally voice whispered, “come over here and see!”  
“Zuzanna?” Floyd scratched his head of ginger curls and narrowed his prominent brow with confusion, “is that you?”  
“Do not be scaredy-cat Szczepan!” He heard the teasing echo of the gravelly tones that belonged to Gawel, “come and find us!”  
Floyd sat upright on the couch, heart in his mouth and his elbows resting on his bruised knees. He scanned the darkness for even a shadow of something that resembled his cousins but could not see anything.  
“Little brother! Get moving!” Filip ordered in his bossy, authoritarian tone, “młodszy brat! We need to go.”  
“What are you waiting for?” A familiar wholesome American accent called from the distance, similar to where his cousins were calling from, “Floyd, don’t you want to see me?”  
“10k?” Floyd jumped from his position on the couch and stumbled around in the darkness, “10k where are you?”  
“Another boy aye!” Gawel chuckled huskily from a far corner.  
“A boy will always get our Floyd moving no?” Fillips laugh floated in the blackness like a tinny wind chime in a breeze. Dreamy and distant.  
“Ignore the idiots,” Zuzanna had reassured, “just find us!”  
“Where are you?” Floyd called out in desperation, frightfully aware that he could not find an exit to the ever increasingly confined space he was trapped in.  
“Floyd!” 10k was shouting now.  
Repeating his name over and over.  
The panic was rising in Floyd’s chest. His heart frantically pounding against his rib cage as he struggled to navigate his way round the room. As the darkness appeared to somehow get thicker, Floyd’s breaths became rapid as he soon started to hyperventilate. His fists were banging on the walls as he tried to locate himself. The voices were booming, defeating him as he pleaded with them to help him in his mother tongue.  
“młodszy brat!”  
“Floyd!”  
“Szczepan!”

BANG!

He was drenched in sweat, unsure if it was from the dream or the blistering heat. Despite the sky above him being a smouldering grey, the clouds had not permitted a ray of sunlight to seep through any gaps, the air was suffocatingly humid. He had awoken from his nightmare, startled by the gun shot, to see Warren had put a bullet in a Z that had managed to stumble too close to the truck bed that Floyd had managed to doze off in.  
“Thank you,” he said as grateful as he was embarrassed. He bet they never had to save 10k because he had fell asleep and nearly got eaten. He jumped from the cargo bed and stretched out his gangly limbs, his knees satisfyingly cracking after being bent for too long. He removed his damp T-shirt and attempted to air it out, it was not as though washing machines were something that were easily available anymore. He didn’t like the idea of reeking of stale sweat.  
“No problem kid,” Warren smiled weakly as she watched the newcomer with curiosity.  
She was already clearly aware of his differences from the group as much as he was. They were all intense and skilled individuals. They killed without hesitation or fear and appeared to show no remorse for the action afterward. They always seemed to be prepared and when they couldn’t be at least they were inquisitive. Hypothesising theories for the sudden rift in the earth and the impending storm that was looming over them. Determined to find answers and survive whatever was to come next. Floyd had often felt like a spare part when it was just him and 10k. He could scavenge for bits and bobs while 10k did all the dirty work, but now he felt as useful as a chocolate teapot. The group also seemed confident using a firearm and even had an array of other weapons that they usually carried with them everywhere like mothers clutching to their newborn infants. Floyd could imagine 10k amongst the group quite fittingly. His rifle strapped to his back and his slingshot in his belt, casually laughing at the jokes that Floyd did not understand and offering helpful information while they devised a plan. He would have been relevant and important to their plans whereas Floyd just stood around, like a child waiting for his parents to stop talking to a neighbour they had bumped into at the supermarket.  
“You ok?” Warren asked, reigning Floyd back from his thoughts.  
“I am good, I just wish I could help more,” he replied truthfully, “and I worry for 10k.”  
“Don’t worry too much about that little cockroach,” the older man that everybody called Doc, although Floyd highly doubted this man had any real medical training, reassured him, “if anyone can survive on their own it’s 10k.”  
“You don’t think he stayed with Murphy?” Addy, a kind, pretty red head, who kept smiling at Floyd and offering him water, asked.  
“I dunno man, last time I spoke to him he was pretty pissed,” Doc informed which made Warren flare her nostrils doubtfully.  
“He’s stayed with him,” She snorted matter of factly but with no further explanation.  
Warren’s statement stirred something within Floyd’s guts. That twinge of jealousy twisting at his intestines. His initial first impression of Murphy was how much older he was. Floyd had not thought about how old Murphy may have been, neither had he envisioned him to be so distinguished and unusually fine-looking. He was a memorable face, someone you could not miss in a crowd. Especially with his strange, mottled skin and a clean cut suit. The suit had certainly thrown him, with it being the centre of the apocalypse and everyone looked like shit these days, to see a suit was almost alarming.  
Floyd wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but it wasn’t him. He was so different from Floyd himself that he wondered what 10k could possibly see in him if Murphy was the type he was attracted to.  
“You think 10k is safe with Murphy?” Floyd asked, the thought of 10k being with a man who, from the majority of stories he had heard, was plain awful only made his stomach ache intensify.  
“More like is Murphy safe with 10k,” Addy chuckled as she tied up the stray lace of her leather boot, sweat glistening off her bare shoulder blades.  
“So they are a couple am I right?” Sun Mei asked with the sternest of expressions, Floyd was yet to see her not in a militant demeanour, “couldn’t this boy convince Murphy to come with us to the base?”  
“I admire your optimism but Murphy is an asshole of you ain’t noticed,” Doc shrugged, “though if anyone’s got a shot at making him not think about himself for once it’s the kid.”  
“They are not couple anymore,” Floyd found himself interjecting, directing his comment to Sun Mei. That irrational green eyed monster creeping from his gut and up into his mouth.

As soon as the words left his lips, he wanted to retreat behind the truck to hide sheepishly as everyone’s eyes drew towards him. He was not someone who minded being looked at, he was a guitarist in a band. He used to stand on stages with bright lights beaming on him and he revelled in the ecstasy of being in the limelight, the centre of attention, but this was different. These people did not know Floyd and he guessed they were merely tolerating him for their friends sake. Each of their gazes held a mind full of questions and judgements, it was enough to make Floyd want to squirm.  
“10k said they were not together,” he insisted bashfully, feeling childish amongst these strangers.  
“That may have been the case but Murphy is one slippery son of a bitch,” Warren rolled her dark eyes at the thought of Murphy, “let’s just hope 10k sticks to his guns.”  
Floyd disengaged from the conversation at Warren’s words. Floyd had never met anyone like 10k. He never thought he would be attracted to someone like 10k if he was honest with himself. Yes, his tall and lean figure with his ivory skin and obsidian black hair was physically appealing but Floyd knew in another world 10k would have been far too complex for him. Floyd preferred shallow men because, like himself, they were often not interested in commitment. He liked to be swept up in brief, whirlwind romances. Full of spontaneity and sex that eventually fizzled out until the next flame came along. He didn’t have the time or the patience to get too involved with someone. 10k would definitely have been too serious, too heedful, too impassioned for Floyd to have pursued him fully but the world had been turned on its head and so had Floyd. He may have been slow to learn new survival skills but he had quickly realised that his rock and roll lifestyle wasn’t going to be much use in this new world. 10k had made Floyd feel safe and worthy. That he was more than just some good looking European boy that was good for a story when drinking with the lads. 10k actually enjoyed talking to him, being in his company and Floyd felt the same. For the first time Floyd felt that he had made a real connection with someone based on something other than physical desires. He truly believed he was starting to fall in love with him. He could imagine his cousins laughing at him for thinking such things,  
‘Oh Floyd! You are a typical musician!’ Zuzanna would have tutted. They would have cackled like a pack of hyenas as Filip added,  
‘You fall in love on every one night stand!’  
‘Just not enough to ever call them back!’ Gawel would have chuckled.  
The thought of his cousins made his insides coil and gripe, his chest burn with the loss of the only family he had.  
He could see 10k amongst this group of strangers so comfortably, a cigarette perched in his lips as they conversed with one another. It made Floyd miss his own family more than ever. He had never been as contented as when he was with his cousins. Filip being the eldest was always responsible for them, he was charming, witty and a hit with the women. Gawel was larger than life, a chubby little boy who grew in a thick set man. He had a deep voice and relaxed attitude to life. He was the one with the talent though. Could pluck words from the air and arrange them to make the most amazing song lyrics. Then there was his little Zuzanna. She was no bigger than 5ft tall with a head full of black braids. She was the mother they needed around as they traveled across the states, no surprise being the only female touch around three male musicians. She was the one who kept them all in the right path, the sensible voice of reason. He longed to be among familiar faces but that was impossible. The only face he could wish to see now was 10k’s and he was gone.  
No, not gone. With Murphy.  
“Is this Murphy that bad?” Floyd asked, noting how Addy tilted her head thoughtfully at him, “why would 10k be with a bad person?”  
There was a moments silence as everyone tried to produce an answer that made any rational sense.  
“You see kid,” Doc attempted to start, “some people don’t always mean to be bad right? Murphy can be rude and selfish and definitely..”  
“A giant dick?” Warren interrupted as she perched herself on a rock.  
“Yes, a giant dick,” Doc agreed before swiftly moving on, “but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the guy in some weird way.”  
“Yeah I get it,” Addy nodded, “it’s like even though every fibre of your being just wants to smash him in the head with a brick just to shut him up, if anyone else hit him, I would high five them before shooting them.”  
Floyd lit a cigarette as he tried to understand Addy’s metaphor.  
“You feel this way too?” He directed to Warren who pressed her lips into a tight line.  
“If anyone gets to kill him it’s me or 10k,” she said firmly.  
“You mind me asking you something Floyd?” Addy asked tenderly to which he nodded, “were you and 10k like ... a thing?”  
Floyd’s brows pinched as he inhaled nicotine, “a thing?”  
American’s had so many phrases it often confused him. They would say one thing that meant something entirely different.  
“Like together?” Addy tried again, “I don’t know, like did boyfriend kinda stuff together?”  
Floyd could feel the heat appearing across his cheeks as he laughed nervously. From the looks he got from the others he supposed that was enough to answer the question.  
“Wow,” Doc acknowledged with an awkward smile, “the apocalypse brought that kid right out of his shell didn’t it?”  
“I miss innocent 10k,” Addy giggled to Doc as she linked arms with the shocked older man before looking at Floyd’s puzzled expression, “we were shocked too when we realised 10k and Murphy were well, you know.”  
“Nearly damn well gave me a heart attack,” Doc chuckled as he used his free arm to wipe the sweat from his brow.  
“You’re not the only one,” Warren agreed.

“You think 10k can get him to change his mind though right?” Sun Mei pressed, not overly concerned with the groups gossip and still intent on the mission.  
Her mission.  
“Like I said, 10k is a real good kid and by the time we find them again,” Warren shrugged as she blew air from her lips, “who knows? Maybe he would have had enough time to work on him.”  
“and if not?” Floyd asked even though he felt he already knew the answer.  
“Then I’ll shoot him in his knee caps and we’ll take turns dragging him,” Warren smirked.  
Floyd wasn’t certain if she was being serious or not but his instincts knew she meant it. As the conversation diverted towards making a plan to get over or around the rift, Floyd could only think about what 10k was doing now. If he was safe. If he was fighting with Murphy or had fallen back into his arms. The latter thought made Floyd’s heart pang with hurt. What was it about this Murphy? Floyd had never been the jealous type before. That could have been because he knew that all his flings were temporary, there was no real feelings involved or it could have been because he was self assured he never needed to worry? He didn’t know but he knew that 10k was weak to Murphy’s charm. Maybe 10k would fake it for the sake of the mission? Or maybe he would use the mission as an excuse to do what he really wanted? The truth was that Floyd did not actually know 10k as well as he thought he did. They had spent just a few short months together in comparison to the time that these people had been with him and even they seemed to be still surprised by his behaviour.  
‘You never really know a person Szczepan,’ he could hear his Mama’s voice slur inside his head, ‘they may act like oil painting but it’s all just colours and distraction from the canvas itself. Każdy jest wilkiem w owczej skórze.’  
Everyone is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  
He decided to push the negative thoughts his mama had planted in his mind since a young boy and chose to focus on making himself useful and help to find 10k.  
A small spec of rain fell from the dark sky and landed on his chest, he couldn’t believe how refreshing the smallest droplet felt against his balmy skin as he asked,  
“So what is plan?”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

He watched 10k perched at the end of the bed, beads of sweat rolling between his sharp shoulder blades and along his pultruding spine. He had his head in his hands, his fingers pulling at clumps of damp black hair. Murphy couldn’t have been any more pleased with himself. He laid on his back, trying to catch his breath as subtly as he could. He didn’t want to feel any older by panting like an old dog that couldn’t handle a walk around the block. Man, was that a trip around the block. The sex he had with 10k was always carnal, lots of teeth, clawing and clutching. This had been ... intense. After Murphy foolishly let the ‘L’ word slip from his mouth it was like 10k was overwhelmed with all wanting he had been suppressing for the past few months. Murphy had meant what he had said. He did love the kid, he never thought he would have the gawd to say it aloud but feeling the weight of 10k against his chest, inhaling his scent of hot skin and dirt, it made his heart swell. It made his brain completely starstruck and of course, his never regions tingle. He never wanted to let him go again and the words just escaped him before he even realised he said them. 10k had pounced on him like a hungry tiger, his tongue quickly parting Murphy’s lips and his hands pulling at his suit. Murphy didn’t need to think twice about kissing him back. About how much he wanted to run his hands along the sensitive parts of 10k’s body, how he wanted to tug at his hair and throw him around like a lustful rag doll. Murphy had been so sure he had won at this point. His hands behind his head, his naked body embracing the slight breeze making its way through the cracked open window. He had just shown 10k how real men fuck. He could see the red finger marks blushing across 10k’s ivory skin. He smirked as his eyes traced the mauve marks on 10k’s hips from where he had been holding him so tightly. He had branded him, his teeth marks just as purple along 10k’s jugular.  
‘Suck on that Floyd,’ Murphy thought triumphantly.  
His moment to relish in victory was short lived when he noted 10k’s breathing was heavy and shaky.  
“What’s the matter kid?” He asked, nudging 10k tentatively with his foot.  
With a deep, mournful sigh 10k lifted his head and dragged his hands down his face. He shook his head and replied,  
“This is all so messed up.”  
Murphy didn’t respond straight away. He couldn’t stop the creases appearing in his forehead with agitation. He didn’t want to have another serious conversation. He didn’t want to find the others. He didn’t want 10k to be reunited with that hippy douchebag. He just wanted to enjoy the moment. Why couldn’t 10k just enjoy the god damn moment?

“We should not have done this,” 10k muttered as he stood up.  
Murphy watched idly as 10k covered his petite behind with his boxers, taking the time to slowly prepare himself for the unavoidable discussion.  
“I didn’t hear you complaining,” Murphy grumbled as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His body already hurt. Already aching from all the ‘physical activity’. He didn’t know how to tell 10k that he was too exhausted for this part of their relationship. He was too old, too passed it to be excited by the drama. He had been kidding himself before California he had realised. He thought he was going to die or be imprisoned in a lab and had to take the opportunity to enjoy all the theatrics before he never had a chance to again. Now was different. He actually had time and he wasn’t willing to waste it anymore. He couldn’t afford to.   
“Please don’t do that,” 10k sighed as he turned to see Murphy slide into his silk dressing gown. He liked the feel of the cool material against his skin.  
“What?” Murphy snapped, unable to hide his annoyance, “you wanna go on a crusade to find them right? You’ve had your fun, got it out of your system and now you wanna go back to playing hero. Go do it then 10k. I have made myself clear that I am done doing favours!”  
“I’m not asking you to do anything, I just..” 10k’s voice trailed off as his eyes examined the finger marks on his slender wrists, “its just so hard, having feelings for you, you know that right?”  
Murphy snorted at the remark. He could hear his past lovers saying similar statements, replaying like vintage cassette tapes. His first girlfriend when he was merely 17 years old had even said that he was bastard and she didn’t know why she put up with him. He had a boyfriend in his twenties who had punched him in the face during an argument because he was ‘sick of seeing that smug face’. Just before he went to prison, Mary Jane had hugged him and at the same time asked him not to bother calling when he got out.   
“So I’ve been told,” he said as he took a swig from his discarded brandy, recoiling from its luke warm temperature, “come on then, what’s eating you?”  
10k slipped into his cargo bottoms but didn’t bother to button them up as he rolled his shoulders.   
“You just don’t think about anyone but yourself do you? I mean,” 10k fumbled for a cigarette in his pockets as he spoke, “I know you won’t help me find the others, hell, you won’t even help the entire human race to make a vaccine.”  
Murphy rolled his eyes as he collapsed onto the bed, resting lazily against the headboard with his warm drink in his hand,  
“Your point?”  
“My point is.. my point is that your this narcissistic, egocentric, arrogant asshole who has way too much power, which you’ve let go to your head by the way,” he lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply as Murphy shrugged, indicating that he didn’t feel it was big deal.  
“On top of all that, you’ve done so much other shit Murphy, it’s like you go out of your way to cause problems and yet I ...”  
Murphy raised an eyebrow as he watched 10k struggle to put a sentence together. “Please, do go on,” He wasn’t offended by 10k’s words, he had heard it all a million times before, why would 10k feel any different.   
10k puffed on his cigarette before stubbing it out prematurely. He then crawled onto the bed, positioning himself on top of Murphy. One knee firmly placed between Murphy’s thighs as he kissed him hard. Murphy managed to put his glass back on the bedside table even though he was more than distracted by 10k’s hands sneaking underneath his silky gown. He never got tired of the sensation of 10k’s soft hands against his body. How someone so handsome and fresh could want to touch a half mauled, middle aged body so eagerly. 10k pulled away, sitting himself upright so that he was now almost straddling Murphy’s lap. A sight which Murphy was more than appreciative of. He smirked as he placed his hands where he knew he had left bruises on 10k’s serpent like hips.   
“You’re never going to do the right thing no matter how much I beg or threaten,” 10k said, his hands resting on top of Murphy’s as he exhaled defeatedly,   
“this can only end in disaster cant it?,” 10k’s eyes were wide and damp, his cheeks flushed and his usual intimidating stance was wilted. He was so vulnerable around him and Murphy was drawn to it. To see such a fierce force to be reckoned with to be so unfortified. Once 10k was stripped of his layers that the apocalypse had added to him he was much more delicate than appearances would have you believe. Underneath all the makeshift armour and decor of guns, all the stern expressions and brooding attitude, he was just a kid. He was just an inexperienced twenty year old with no guidance and a whole bunch of emotions and trauma that he was trying to decipher through whilst not getting eaten by Z’s. Murphy momentarily closed his eyes. He didn’t want to admit that 10k was probably right. That this was prolonging the inevitable.   
“Why don’t you just stay here with me huh?” He asked, pulling 10k by his waist and rolling them so he was now the one on top. The dominant male. Something about the way 10k’s eyes dilated when Murphy held his wrists made him growl in his throat.   
“Just forget about everything else and stay with me,” he almost whined as he scattered kisses along 10k’s collarbone, “stop playing so hard to get.”  
“You know I can’t do that,” 10k breathed, resisting the urge to grind his hips.  
Murphy’s inner voice was willing him to just give up. To stop trying with this kid and just find someone else. It’s not like he had not had offers, especially since being in charge of Murphytown but it just wasn’t the same. As he looked down under his eyelids at the scars and marks on 10k’s torso he could hear the voice niggling at him.   
‘You can find another body Murphy, this isn’t the only body you’ve ever wanted to keep all to yourself.’  
It was more than just the physical attraction that was making this so difficult. 10k had relit an old match that Murphy was sure was long put out.   
He just couldn’t shake 10k off. 

“What if I come to the base with you?” 10k suggested with his piercing blue eyes concentrating fiercely on Murphy’s face,   
“I’ll stay with you there?”  
Murphy laughed, amused that 10k was embracing his darker sense of humour. What a hilarious idea.   
“I’m being serious,” 10k chuckled although his face was somewhat more earnest. His hands twisting underneath the pressure of Murphy’s grasp.  
“You reckon they’d let us pick the decor in my cell?” Murphy smirked, internally terrified of the thought of being behind any form of bars again.   
10k smiled as he sighed deeply. He knew he couldn’t convince Murphy as much Murphy knew he wasn’t going to allow himself to be convinced.  
“Kid, I don’t want to go to that Japanese base,” Murphy stated for what felt like the thousandth time.  
“Chinese,” 10k corrected automatically, making Murphy roll his eyes.  
“Whatever,” he continued, “I don’t want to go because, because...”  
Murphy didn’t get a chance to finish as they felt the bed tremble. It’s headboard knocking against the wall. Murphy’s glass had teetered off the edge of the bedside table and smashed into small shards on the ground. They both bolted upright, both their mouths agape as they witnessed the stormy clouds burst with the heaviest rain fall. The white flashes of lightning illuminating the scenery for just seconds before fading.   
“What the fuck is this?” Murphy cursed, about to throw himself off the bed when tremor of the ground propelled him foreword.   
As he staggered towards the window to get a better look, he was overcome with a searing pain coursing through his skull. He cried out as his hands flew to his head, his palms pressed deep into his temples as the pulsating discomfort consumed his being. He fell to his knees, the ground still rumbling beneath them as he felt the agony disperse under his skin. His veins were on fire, the blood like corrosive acid as it pushed through his circulatory system.   
“Murphy! Murphy!”  
He barely recognised his own name being shouted as he squeezed his eyes closed.  
“Murphy! We gotta move! We gotta go!”  
Murphy tried to get to his feet but the force of the quake and the pounding in his head was making the task almost impossible. He attempted to open his eyes, his vision blurred and sensitive to any light. He could just about distinguish 10k’s shape as he reached out to him.   
What the hell was happening?  
“10... 10k my head..” was the last thing he managed to muster before he was swallowed by the sweet release of darkness.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve kind of used the black rain as more of a natural disaster deal in this fic. 
> 
> Hope it works and thank you to everyone who is still reading and enjoying the story as much as I am writing it!
> 
> Happy reading! Xxx

Murphy couldn’t really remember much of what happened. He awoke, slumped in the passenger seat of a car. The sound of the rain drumming against a dirt smeared windshield. He was still in his dressing gown, some sort of rag cloth was mimicking a blanket, draped over the top of him. His head was still sore but no longer causing him that torturous pain. He looked around with confusion as he rubbed his eyes.  
“You’re awake,” a dreamy voice stated from the backseat making Murphy feel more at ease.  
Of course 10k wouldn’t have left him.  
“What the hell happened?” Murphy asked, observing the debris in 10k’s hair and the half asleep expression on his pale face.  
“Everything just started falling Murphy, it was like a massive earthquake or something,” 10k shrugged, “I managed to drag you to this car and get away but I think it might be a bit more than just an earthquake.”  
Murphy could feel his heart deflating with every word. His blends. His town. His new purpose that he had been working so hard on had been reduced to a mere pile of rubble. He had left all his blend ‘vaccine’ back in the lab. He had even made friends, and they were all scattered apart from one another, lost and abandoned by their creator. His chest ached at his newest failure to add his already extensive collection.  
“A big storm is hardly the weirdest shit we’ve seen since this all went down,” Murphy reminded.  
“You remember your head hurting right?” 10k quizzed, leaning forward in between the two front seats and cautiously removing his fingers from Murphy’s knee when he realised he had touched it. Murphy knew immediately that something was wrong.  
“Of course I remember my head hurting,” he barked, “it was like Addy had put that fucking Z whacker in my skull.”  
He watched as 10k’s face contorted with a strange hesitation. His lips kept twitching, willing him to speak, but unable to say anything.  
“Kid, you’re freaking me out,” Murphy admitted, “What’s the problem?”  
10k sucked his lips into his mouth as he reached over Murphy and pulled down the sun visor. The mirror compartment still closed.  
“I think the storm may have been linked to other things, I can’t really explain...”  
“What?” Murphy was seriously confused, “the heck you going on about?”  
“Ok, I’m just gonna let you look for yourself,” 10k slid the plastic to reveal the small reflective glass underneath.  
He jumped back into his seat, eyes intent on Murphy, his fingers itching with anxiety.  
“10k?” Murphy was about to ask again what was going on but 10k just pointed back to the small mirror.  
Murphy huffed theatrically as he pulled himself upright to look into the shiny square. That’s when he realised why 10k was being so standoffish with him.  
“Holy shitting Christ!” He cursed loudly, as he threw himself towards the mirror but was unable to get any closer due to it being attached to the ceiling of the car. To say he was devastated would have been an understatement. He had just started to look like a human again, albeit a completely different human to how he had started this life but human none the less. This was a serious downgrade on the universes part. He pulled at the skin on his neck and pressed his fingers into his face, the skin turned a soft pink briefly before bouncing back to its deep rouge.  
He spun in his seat, suddenly fuelled with adrenaline as he stared open mouthed and eyes bulging at the wincing 10k.  
“I’m fucking red!” He cried.  
Red. Another primary colour. Red.  
How? Why? Why red? And not an even, one tone, caught the sun red. He looked as though he had been to the worst tanning salon in the first pits of hell itself.  
“I look like the lobster man!” He sputtered in disbelief.  
Turning back to the tiny mirror for another panicked examination.  
“It’s not so bad...” 10k attempted to be kind but Murphy knew, he knew he looked like an overcooked steak.  
In a temper Murphy swung the car door open and threw himself out into the hail. The pouring rain beat against his leathery skin as he faced the sky and howled the sarcastic laugh of a broken man. This was another form of karma. God’s sick way of letting Murphy think he was finally getting his own way for once and then snatching it away like a cruel child in a playground.  
“Fuck you universe!” He shouted as loud as his lungs could manage as he raised both his middle fingers to the sobbing sky,  
“Fuck you! Guess being this zombie hybrid wasn’t enough huh? Why thanks a bunch you cosmic son of a bitch!”  
“Get back in the car you lunatic!” 10k ordered, reaching out behind Murphy and tugging as his wet gown.  
Murphy looked at his crimson chest and down to his bare feet with a bitter grin. The rain saturating his now black hair as he chuckled with defeat,  
“Fucking red.”

As they browsed the abandoned department store, Murphy had never been so aware that red clashed with every colour with the exception of black. How droll, he thought to himself. He slung another shirt onto the rail and sighed. When 10k emerged from the bathroom, his wet cargo trousers now replaced by dry ones and a loose fitting black T-shirt and hoodie, Murphy found himself being envious of 10k’s basic fashion sense. His attire was always simple and practical, he had appeared almost ecstatic at the prospect of new socks when the first arrived, which had made Murphy roll his eyes. All these clothes and the kid wanted socks. Black ones at that. Murphy did think that he hadn’t of been so conscious about what he looked like on the outside at 10k’s age he might not be in this dilemma now. Zombies crawling over the planet and Murphy didn’t know what to wear. Typical. 10k on the other hand, was effortlessly attractive without any extras. He didn’t need a snazzy suit or fetching hat to make him noticeable, he was far too focused on, hell murphy didn’t know, shooting things maybe? Either way, he didn’t give two fecks about his appearance which Murphy found all the more alluring. 10k raised his brows and bit down on his bottom lip as he studied Murphy whilst tying his newly acquired bandana. Murphy stood unashamedly with his newly red body only wearing clean boxers and socks as he contemplated over the shirts. Murphy did wish the kid wouldn’t look at him like that. He couldn’t deny he adored how even through all of his appearances 10k never seemed to be un-attracted to him but at the same time he felt 10k was just trying to sooth his bruised ego.  
“You can’t tell but you’re making blush,” he said sarcastically as he tossed another shirt to the side. He could hear 10k laugh as he started to check his rifle.  
“Amazing how you had time to save your bestie there but couldn’t grab me any clothes,” Murphy observed, he knew that his real competition would always be a blasted gun with 10k.  
“I need my rifle,” 10k said as though that was enough justification.  
“I need clothes,” Murphy mimicked, “you know you don’t really need that for Z’s now? They’re not going to bite you?”  
10k looked pained to be reminded of what Murphy had inflicted on him.  
“Humans can be just as bad,” 10k reminded as he checked his scope,  
“I think that black shirt would look fine.”  
Murphy looked at the black shirt he had thrown back on the railing, wrinkling his nose.  
“It’s just so boring,” he moaned even though he found himself sliding his arms into the sleeves, anything to make 10k happy right?  
“Murphy you could be wearing a potato sack and you still wouldn’t be boring,” 10k complimented, putting the rifle over his shoulder, satisfied it passed his inspection.  
“I would prefer a potato sack right now,” Murphy grumbled petulantly, doing up the small buttons.  
“Don’t be such a baby,” Murphy was suprised to feel 10k from behind him, his hands reaching up underneath the shirt and tracing along the lumps from Murphy’s scars.  
Murphy always found it strange how 10k did that. How he seemed to like to feel the evidence of when Murphy’s life was tore away from him, like by touching the bite marks 10k could sense something about Murphy that nobody else could.  
“I know you like to have nice things,” 10k said as he rested his defined chin on Murphy’s shoulder, “but it really isn’t what makes you so.... you.”  
Murphy could feel a smirk toying on his mouth as he buttoned up the stiff collar.  
“Careful Tommy,” he purred, “people might think you actually like me for more than my devilish good looks.”  
“I’m just saying, you can have any colour skin, wear any outfit and you’d still be the most obnoxious bastard in the room,” 10k jested as he went to uncoil his arms from Murphy’s torso.  
Murphy grabbed 10k’s forearms quickly before he moved, not ready to loose that physically contact. He turned to face him, his eyes scanning 10k’s cool pretence.  
“Oooo 10k you were very close to giving me a compliment then,” he teased as he rubbed along the light bruising on 10k’s wrists from their previous antics, “you feeling ok?”  
“Shut u...”  
But before 10k could continue they both hushed at the sound of a harsh crackle. The cacophonous sound of static and a robotic voice from behind a nearby door.  
“A radio!” 10k exclaimed with glee as he raced towards the door that had ‘security’ labelled on it.  
“I suppose I better find some pants,” Murphy said to himself.

“It’s Citizen Z!” 10k informed Murphy excitedly as he entered the room now dressed in a pair of tight fitting jeans and a leather jacket. He felt the leather added that bit of spice he was looking for to his bland attire.  
“Oh yay,” he said dryly, taking a seat on the crooked chair next to 10k who was busy adjusting the volume.  
“10k? Do you copy me? I repeat, 10k are you still there? Over,” Citizen Z’s irritating voice called over the background noise.  
How was it this guy was in the middle of bloody nowhere and was still able to interfere with everything?  
“I’m here, it’s 10k and Murphy is here too,” 10k informed.  
“Don’t tell him that!” Murphy whined.  
“Murphy! You’re alive! That’s great news,” Citizen Z congratulated through the static.  
Murphy pulled a face at the radio, sticking out his tongue and gesturing towards it with two fingers. 10k shook his head at him before speaking back into the mic,  
“It’s good to hear from you. We’ve been separated from Warren and the others because of this earthquake.”  
“I’ve already spoken to Warren,” he informed them, “if you guys keep heading east of the rift eventually you will reach them. I’ve directed them to the same location so hopefully you should meet.”  
“Yippee,” Murphy mumbled bitterly, how was he going to get himself out of this? They had no real plan, there was no Murphytown to hide in and 10k was going to be a stubborn ass about going to them. Was he just supposed to let 10k go back to them alone? Allow him to just pretend these past couple days hadn’t happened and go straight back into Floyd’s arms? The thought riddled him with aggravation. 10k would be reunited with his dysfunctional apocalypse family and his younger model boyfriend and be able to move on with whatever it was operation ‘giant pain in the butt’ planned on doing. Where would that leave Murphy? Alone. Stranded. A wanted man for a destiny he didn’t agree too, wondering the streets a blushing crimson, he might as well of have a target drawn across his back for any other wannabe hero survivors searching for the infamous cure. He would be forever tapping into his link with 10k, spying on him and begrudging him a life that he so stupidly permitted him to have by letting him walk away. Again.  
“You know you’re like a radio fairy godmother kind of thing? Thank you Citizen Z,” 10k thanked, ignoring Murphy’s frown.  
“More than welcome,” Citizen Z replied, “try to keep an eye on Murphy. I’m pretty sure there’s still a way to make a vaccine. I’ve come across some intel but I’m still working on making contact. There could still be some hope.”  
“Roger that,” 10k answered gingerly, avoiding making direct eye contact with the red man with the fierce scowl next to him.  
Anger pulsated through Murphy like a flash of lightening, everyone was still trying to make this decision for him. Was this going to be his life forever? Was he going to be constantly fighting against this battle? Eventually he would have to loose right? Eventually someone will get the better of him and manage to break his legs and trade him for a bag of Cheetos to some government program somewhere. He observed 10k as he stared down at his bitten fingers, fidgeting like a nervous child awaiting a bollocking from a parent. Murphy swiftly debated just leaving. Just standing up and walking out of the door without a word and to just keep on walking until something killed him. At least it would be on his terms to go out that way. The more he looked at 10k’s profile, the line of his jaw, the way his untamed hair curled messily around his ear and tried to escaped from underneath the bandana, the more Murphy found himself thinking that at minimum he would like to spend more time on this earth being able to stare at this kid.  
“I’ll come with you,” he said bluntly as he rose from his seat.  
10k jumped onto his feet and went to say something but Murphy clamped his large hand over the top of 10k’s mouth firmly.  
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he informed even though he could see the gratefulness in 10k’s eyes.  
Murphy sighed heavily before pushing 10k back with the hand he was using to cover his mouth as he threatened,  
“If anyone starts referring to me as the package again I swear on your life 10k I will bite every single mother fucker we come across from here on out.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV

“Please, please, please, for the love of god, sing a different song!” 10k pleaded with Murphy as they barrelled down the empty lane in their newest preloved vehicle.  
Murphy chuckled as he continued to drum his hands against the wheel, steering in a careless, disorderly fashion. He peeped over his new shades he had found in the glove compartment and flashed 10k a bedazzling wink.  
“Come on that’s a classic!” He insisted, “you must of heard of ABBA? Everyone knows ABBA?”  
10k wasn’t intentionally pretending to not know the songs that Murphy was singing but he was certain Murphy was a few octaves too low and out of key. He had just never really listened to music when the world was normal. His Pa had a few old records that he would occasionally play but other than that their car journeys were filled with a comfortable silence and their evenings spent listening to the news station. They didn’t even own a TV.  
‘The world is full of noise and no one is ever listening’ his Pa would tell him.   
“You reckon they are Z’s now?” 10k wondered aloud, making Murphy raise an eyebrow.  
“Who? ABBA?” He snorted, “now that’s the thought of the day.”  
10k had enjoyed the past two days on their private road trip more than he had expected too. He was prepared for a Murphy to be sulking and reluctantly dragging his heels, making snide remarks and being overbearingly difficult but he had actually been the complete opposite. Murphy was in unusually high spirits. 10k had never seen the man so whimsical, so at ease. Sure, Murphy was always cracking jokes and ready for a good time but this was different. Regardless of his scarlet skin he appeared more youthful, the only lines to be seen were his laugh creases in the corner of his eyes. His whole posture was less commanding and guarded and more relaxed. Murphy lit a cigarette as he drove, letting it hang casually from his lips as he hummed another upbeat tune. For a moment 10k felt as though he was peeking through a hole in time and allowing him to see one of Murphy’s many sides. He could see him in his twenties, not much older than 10k, driving like an idiot on purpose to tease his fellow passengers. He could imagine him singing badly to all the songs on the radio as he charmed his way out of all the trouble he had most likely caused. Carefree and blasé.   
It had been almost as though they were in a parallel universe. One where they didn’t have the weight of the world bombarding its way into the centre of their odd relationship. Murphy had been smiling a lot more, talking about small, irrelevant topics but 10k liked hearing Murphy talk. Especially about trivial things like how he thought snakes were better than lizards and that he really missed eating at his local diner where they served the best pancakes he had ever eaten. It made him softer, more approachable. More human.   
He liked that Murphy wanted to tell 10k these things. That he wanted to share these little pieces of him that showed that not every aspect of him was about being an asshole.   
Murphy started sing again, he clearly did not know all the words as he jutted his shoulders in some peculiar car dance. 10k rolled his eyes and thought about how good Floyd would of sang. He would have sang much more professionally, 10k presumed, something less catchy and more bohemian sounding. He would of sat similar to how Murphy was, slumped to one side with one hand nonchalantly on the wheel. A cigarette lit and his knees apart as he casually let his other hand slide onto 10k’s knee in between changing gears. Only Murphy didn’t affectionally rub his knee like Floyd would have. Murphy was much more heavy handed and upfront, as he would place a wide hand on the inside of 10k’s thigh and squeeze with a hard grip. He wouldn’t slip him a soothing smile like Floyd did, in fact he wouldn’t look at him at all and if he did it was always that notorious smirk. 

“Why you gone so quiet?” Murphy asked, handing 10k his half the cigarette.  
“Just thinking,” he admitted as he inhaled.  
“Very dangerous of you,” Murphy joked, “anything you would like to share?”  
10k knew he would have to mention it at some point. He knew that once they were reunited with the others Floyd was going to be there, expecting them to pick up roughly where they left off. He couldn’t just go back and not acknowledge the fact he had basically fell back underneath Murphy after being alone with him for 24 hours and act like nothing had happened. He wasn’t sure he wanted to even do that but at the same time he wasn’t exactly eager to just brush Floyd off. To pretend that Floyd was just some pass time until he inevitably gravitated back towards Murphy because 10k really didn’t feel that was the case. 10k genuinely liked and cared about Floyd far too much to just push him aside.   
“Don’t get all shitty with me ok?” 10k asked as he turned in his seat to face Murphy better.  
“This sounds promising,” he muttered.  
“I was thinking about Floyd,” 10k confessed, noting how Murphy’s jaw twitched.   
Nothing too noticeable but 10k had gained enough experience to recognise when Murphy was displeased.  
“Anything in particular or?” Murphy asked, his voice straining to sound unbothered.  
“It’s disgustingly cliché but I just don’t want him to get hurt in all this. I know its rich because I’m the one that brought him with me and then left him with a group of strangers and now I’m going back to him with you... it’s all a bit confusing you know?”  
Murphy nodded his head as he contemplated 10k’s words.   
“I’m sorry,” 10k apologised, sighing a cloud of smoke, “I know you don’t wanna hear that but he really doesn’t deserve to be treated badly Murphy. He just got caught up in our mess and he has no one else. I just feel like a massive jerk.”  
“If you were really a jerk you wouldn’t care about hurting him,” Murphy stated, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses making him more difficult for 10k to read.   
“Yeah but I’m still hurting him though aren’t I?” 10k said guiltily, “just because I feel bad about it doesn’t make it any less of a crappy thing to do.”  
They sat in silence for a while, listening to sound of the rain against the car and the gravel crunching beneath the tyres. 10k wasn’t entirely sure what the solution to his problem was. He wasn’t even convinced there was one but he knew the likely hood of everyone being civil, holding hands and singing kumbaya was as plausible as the Zombies deciding to go vegan.   
“Ive done a lot of bad things,” Murphy boldly broke the silence,   
“after time you start to get desensitised to the feeling of guilt. I barely ever feel bad about some of the things I’ve done, I just won’t allow myself to register the shame. I know that doesn’t make it right or better but I get it.”  
10k didn’t respond, he just listened as he tapped his fingers against the barrel of his rifle that was leaning against is inner thigh.   
“No point feeling shit about something you can’t change kid,” Murphy summarised.  
10k nodded, appreciating Murphy’s level of understanding and honesty. He didn’t try to sugarcoat it or justify it, just accepted it. Murphy of all people knew should know what it was like to feel guilty.  
“Can I ask you something?” Murphy asked, pulling 10k’s attention away from his rifle.  
“Sure.”  
“Does wanting to be with me make you feel bad?” Murphy asked coldly, his head not turning from the road.  
10k could sense the shift in the atmosphere. Murphy’s body was stiff and his upper lip curled into a half snarl.  
“Are you feeling bad because you know you’re going to run back to him the moment I end up ‘patient vaccine’?” He snapped.  
10k started to shake his head in defiance but Murphy cut him off before he could speak.  
“Is it because you have this good looking guy your own age, who’s really in to you and treats you good, waiting for you and you wish, god, do you wish you could pick him. Choose him over me right? The nice kid over a weatherbeaten prick like me, you want to pick him don’t you?”  
10k could hear the restrained growl in the back of Murphy’s throat as he spoke. 10k could feel that nasty streak that Murphy possessed starting to rear its venomous head like a provoked snake.   
“But you can’t can you? You can’t pick him ‘cos deep down you know you don’t want to. You’re ashamed that I make you feel good, huh? You’re embarrassed by how much you like a freak like me? Don’t look at me like that! I can hear you 10k.”  
“Murphy stop it,” 10k snapped, his brain itching inside his skill as he could feel Murphy digging around for information to use against him, “Murphy!”  
“Am I freak? You really think that?” Murphy exclaimed with outrage as his foot pressed hard against the accelerator.   
The speed of the car quickening, the rain hitting the windshield with force. 10k gripped onto the doors handle as he braced himself.  
“You know I don’t,” he breathed hard, conscious of how much of the road he could no longer see.  
“You really think loving me means there’s something wrong with you?” Murphy chuckled sorely as threw his shades down by the hand break.   
“I think you’re driving like a nutcase! Slow the fuck down Murphy!” 10k shouted, alarmed by the speed they were now travelling at.   
“Do you want to be with Floyd?” Murphy growled as he shifted gears, “Is that what you want Tommy?”  
“Are you being serious? You’re going to get us killed!” 10k glared at Murphy as he struggled to breath at at a regular pace.  
“Tell me! If it’s Floyd you want then you can get out of the damn car and I’ll go!” Murphy snarled.  
“I want you! It’s always been you!” 10k shouted, the words tumbling out of his mouth as he grabbed Murphy’s upper arm, “for fucksake Murphy stop the car!”

Murphy slammed his foot on the break far too hard and much too quick. The car slid along the road, swerving left to right as it aquaplaned due to the rain. Eventually the car broke to harsh halt causing 10k’s high knees to crash into the dashboard, his seat belt tightening across his chest. He found himself panting, from a combination of anger and fear. He undone his belt and launched himself from the car. He slammed the door shut as he marched into the rain, adrenaline pulling through his veins.  
What was Murphy playing at? Was he trying to purposely scare him? Taking out his heartache on 10k? Either way, 10k did not like it. He did not deserve to be punished for having feelings. He was entitled to having those, hell, it was really all anyone had that was truly theirs nowadays.  
“Where are you going?” Murphy called after him, “you gonna walk the rest of the way yeah?”  
10k paused, the constant downpour drenching his body. His hair was flat against his head, the water dripping into his eyes. Before he even realised he had done it, he had stormed his way back towards Murphy, who had been following him, and propelled the butt of his rifle into the centre of Murphy’s face. Murphy had cried out as his hands flew to his face. Vermillion spurted through his fingers as he staggered backwards but remained upright.  
“Don’t ever pull a stunt like that with me,” 10k hissed through gritted teeth as Murphy tilted his head forward.  
He spat blood to the ground that was instantly diluted by the rain.   
“Jesus,” he spluttered as he spat again.  
10k watched as Murphy flicked the blood from his fingers, the bridge of his nose was already swollen and the small gash was trickling blood. Murphy’s face was a deep rouge as he bared his teeth and straightened his stance. He took a few quick, short strides, closing the distance between him and 10k and grabbed him roughly by his jacket. He cupped the back of 10k’s neck and kissed him fiercely. 10k could taste the metallic tang of Murphy’s blood, mixed with the saltiness of the water. He couldn’t make sense of what come over him. In a few short moments he went from wanting to cave Murphy’s skull in to wanting to kiss him forever in the rain. They grabbed at each other desperately, the embrace close to resembling a grapple as their lips barely parted for oxygen. 10k couldn’t of cared less about the rain, about the car, about the mission and the others, all he wanted was Murphy. It was in this moment that 10k realised that it would never matter what Murphy did, 10k would always come back for more. He was addicted to the entirety of this man.   
He needed him. He craved him. He had never had so much meaning in his life until Murphy entered it. No one had ever had such a strong desire to possess him. To value him of any importance other than the weird, gun kid that wouldn’t talk. Murphy made 10k feel alive. As though before he was just an image, a hologram that could be seen not interacted with and then Murphy bombarded his way in and touched him. Like he physically yanked 10k from his semi existing state and made him apart of the real world.   
He would forever be on a constant high as long as Murphy wanted him.   
10k forcefully directed Murphy so that his back slammed into the side of the car as he blindly unbuckled Murphy’s belt.  
“Woah Kid...” Murphy weakly attempted to slow down the spontaneity but 10k just locked his lips against his to stop him from talking.  
From smashing the mirror that was between them and the rest of this cesspit earth.  
“I meant it you know?” 10k breathed huskily against Murphy’s mouth, his hand venturing under his saturated shirt and down onto Murphy’s bare, reptilian textured skin.  
Murphy groaned as his head rolled backwards, resting against the roof of the silver car as he tried to stabilise himself.   
“It’s you,” 10k said as he nuzzled his face into the crease of Murphy’s wet neck,   
“It’s you.”

Even though they had literally kissed and made up, the car ride east was still tense. 10k’s initial anger had subsided but he was still in a strange mood. He was tired, hungry, apprehensive and emotionally drained. He sat with his knees twisted awkwardly towards the door, creating as much space as he could between him and the driver. His forehead was still damp from being unable to dry off properly and was pressed hard against the window.   
10k wiped a stray strand of his drenched hair from his face as he sighed. Why couldn’t he stay mad at Murphy? What was it about him that made his hurt only last for a fraction of what it should do? He was always so surprised that Murphy’s presence brought out this impulsiveness in him. 10k was always so calculated, calm and rationale but Murphy, if he knew it or not, managed to blur 10k’s thought process. 10k couldn’t comprehend how quickly they went from laughing, to hating each other, to having raw, exhibitionist sex at the side of the road. Murphy always seemed to drag 10k from his comfort zone and somehow 10k didn’t mind that. He was actually becoming quite accustomed to it.   
“You want to hit me again? Will that make you feel better?” Murphy offered as he took a glance at his fresh wound in the rear view mirror and winced.  
“I’ll probably get another chance,” 10k huffed, “you’re going to be an ass again at some point.”  
10k turned his head to look at Murphy’s face. If there was bruising it was difficult to see underneath the redness of his skin. The bleeding had stopped but it was a noticeably open gash. Murphy flashed him a playful smile which made 10k smile too. He never had any experience with love before all this. He never had to deal with all the complicated emotions that it brought. He thought once you met someone and you loved them it was easy. You would be so similar and considerate of each other that everything was smooth sailing. How wrong could he of been. Nothing about Murphy was easy and here they were, smiling at each other like goofballs.   
If 10k had known that this would be one of the last moments he was going to spend with Murphy where he would see that earnest look in his eyes, he would have smiled back at him for a lot longer. Or at least punched him one last time.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

Murphy was filled with dread when they finally reached the closing of the rift. It was an unsettling feeling weighing on his shoulders. He just knew this was the start of something and for something to start that meant something had to end. When they located a the infamous truck parked at the side of a forest edge, Murphy couldn’t help but sigh mournfully. When 10k hurdled from the car and practically sprinted towards Doc and uncharacteristically flung his arms around the beaming older man, Murphy hesitated. He sat behind the wheel for a few moments too long. He could just start the engine and peel away before anyone had the chance to realise he was going. His hand hovered over the key in the ignition. It would be so easy to just turn it, let the car roar into life and just run away.   
He was still such a coward.   
Murphy jumped from the sudden knocking against the glass window beside him. He inhaled deeply, removing the keys, as he rolled down his window to be greeted by Addy’s exuberant eyes watching him.  
“Stop smiling at me, it’s creepy,” Murphy joked as Addy lent her elbows on the window frame.   
Her smile broad and Cheshire Cat like on her face as she punched Murphy lightly on the shoulder.  
“Wow, I’m loving the new look!”  
Murphy glared at her with his best, unimpressed expression.   
“Nice to see you too stranger,” she chimed cheerily, “I’m so glad to see you guys are both alive!”  
“You mean you’re glad 10k’s alive,” Murphy correctly sourly as he watched a now blonde bombshell, Warren drag 10k by his hood and wrap her arms around him.  
“And you,” Addy insisted with the most genuine of smiles, “if I’m being honest it’s all been rather serious, I’ve actually missed you and your crappy sense of humour.”  
Murphy knew it had taken Addy a long time to warm up to him. He knew that she was apprehensive when she discovered about his and 10k’s little arrangement. She was a young woman herself. Fresh out of college and thrown straight into the apocalypse. It didn’t matter how good your education was, nothing could prepare you for the dead to rise. Murphy got out of the car and to Addy’s pleasant surprise he put an arm around her shoulders. Hugging Addy was like hugging a relative you only saw at weddings or funerals. The distant cousin you always got along with but never got the chance to meet socially so the exchange was always somewhat uncomfortable even though natural.  
“Oh so you missed me too?” Addy laughed, her red hair caught in the embrace as she untangled herself.   
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Murphy jested as they turned towards the group.

“10k!” He heard an accented voice shout.  
“Floyd!” 10k was pounced on by a rake of a man, long limbs coiling themselves around 10k’s slender body. The impact of their contact was visible as they struggled to stay on their feet. Floyd had the widest grin Murphy had ever seen. His untamed hair lank with the rain and his skin almost blue from not wearing a T-shirt. Murphy had to swallow the sensation of a cheese grater carving against the inner walls of his throat as Floyd clamped his mouth on 10k’s. Murphy growled to himself as he turned his face back towards the car. Unable to see if 10k had returned the kiss or not.   
“He’s a sweet guy, 10k’s friend,” Addy said gently, clearly able to recognise the distress in Murphy’s body language,  
“Don’t be so hard on him.”  
Murphy knew deep down that Addy was annoyingly right, just as 10k had been. This Floyd had just been caught up by the wrong people, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. All he had done was find a guy that knew how to survive and fell for him. None of this was personally against Murphy, the guy was so oblivious to it all he had never even heard the rumours of Murphy’s existence, he had hardly went out of his way to find 10k to purposely spite him. None of this logical reasoning was enough to not make Murphy feel like a jealous child watching someone else play with his toy. He didn’t like sharing, not even back then.  
As they approached the group, Murphy forced his mindset to his usual guarded, selfish facade. He carried himself with his most confident swagger as he lit a cigarette and convinced himself that he was still ‘The Murphy’ and that he had nothing to be envious of.   
“You know,” he drawled with a lopsided simper as he caught Warren’s gaze,  
“I’ve always had a thing for blondes.”  
He waggled his eyebrows as Warren shook her head, still a small smile was toying on her lips.  
“I’m not the only one that’s had a make over,” she observed, hands on her curvaceous hips,   
“The rain got you too huh?”  
Murphy shrugged as effortlessly as he could manage, attempting to conceal any of his previous insecurities about his new skin.   
“Son of a bitch! If it ain’t the devil himself!” Doc laughed as he walked toward Murphy with his arms prepared for a hug.   
“Lucifer couldn’t even pull this look off as good me,” Murphy chuckled as he returned the older mans hug, “good to see you’re still around Gramps.”  
“I was about to say the same thing to you,” Doc smiled so that his eyes almost disappeared between his crows feet.   
As they stood beside each other, Doc lowered his voice as he subtly asked,  
“Has the kid been ok? I’ve been worried sick about him. I mean, I know you two are, well, whatever, but for a while I thought... maybe something bad had happened.”  
Murphy had originally been quite put out by how close Doc and 10k were. How their relationship had blossomed so organically and much quicker than Murphy’s one with 10k had. They seemed to have a naturally mutual understanding of one another. Doc respected 10k’s cagey behaviour as much as 10k accepted Doc’s extroverted attitude. They meshed well considering they were separated by 40 years and a lifetime of differences and substance abuse. Doc cared for 10k like the son he always wanted and 10k yearned for that fatherly approval. They were a match made at the end of the civilisation. Now some time had passed, Murphy was no longer annoyed at the prospect of 10k having someone else to fall back on. He actually was kind of relieved that 10k had some emotional support, to be able have someone he could be himself around, even if it was with a strung out, silver bearded hippy.   
“He’s been fine, totally doing my head in worrying about you bunch of dicks but he’s been ok,” Murphy tried to keep as close to the truth as possible. He didn’t want to lie to Doc but he felt that all the fatherly concern in the world wouldn’t make him want to know all the nitty gritty details.  
“I see you two must of had a disagreement,” Doc nodded towards Murphy’s nose to which Murphy just laughed. If only Doc knew how often the pair had a disagreement. Their affair thrived around on of them doing something to piss the other off.  
“I don’t wanna frighten ya Gramps but your golden boy over there is a kinky little tiger,” he winked exaggeratedly knowing that Doc would shake his head and abandon the conversation at any mention of 10k in a sexual context.   
That’s when he noticed the stern looking woman in a beat up jacket and camouflage trousers.   
Sun Mei was it?   
She was standing quietly by the truck without so much of a glimmer of interest in 10k’s return, unlike the others who were replicating some sort of high school reunion, and was intently watching Murphy with tight jaw. The way she was looking at him gave him prickles down his spine. She was plotting. He knew that expression on anyone’s face. She was thinking hard and Murphy didn’t like it. He knew she was the one who had this new ‘military base scheme’ and he was willing to bet his last cigarette that she was already calculating on how to get his red ass there. 

“Looks like mystery inc is back together,” Murphy grumbled, walking aimlessly just to make space between him and Sun Mei’s death glare.   
“Mystery inc?” 10k quizzed with a raised brow, his natural instinct to come and seize the half smoked cigarette from Murphy’s burnt looking fingertips.  
He sniggered slightly as he saw Floyd’s eyebrows pinch.   
“10k everyone knows Scooby Doo,” Addy defended as she pulled him to sit beside her at their makeshift camp site. They had obviously just loaded up on supplies from somewhere as piles of items were still on the process of being categorised into their respective bags. Warren was far too organised. Once a solider always a solider. Damp clothes were hanging off the doors of the truck in a desperate attempt to dry them out before the next bout of rain appeared. Chip wrappers and empty tin cans were discarded nearer the tree line from where they had eaten.   
“Sounds lame,” 10k snorted as he reached into a small pile of food and helped himself to what look liked some sort of dried fruit.   
“All we need now is citizen Z and we have the whole gang,” Doc stated as he gently gestured to Warren to leave her position by the truck and to join them.  
“It’s early days Doc,” Warren reminded him, “there’s still time for some batshit crazy thing to happen and we end up chasing this fool’s ass all over the country again.”  
Murphy bowed towards Warren as she pointed at him. He could see it in her eyes, as much as she liked to trash mouth him, she was pleased to see him. She was pleased to have someone to be this openly rude too, someone who appreciated her banter.   
“Let’s be reasonable Roberta,” Murphy said, “there isn’t a finer ass you would rather be chasing though? Am I wrong?”  
Murphy could see Floyd’s nose wrinkle in distaste, the way his eyes were examining Murphy like an exotic house pet. Trying to fathom why these people not only owned, but seemed to actually care for this strange and unruly creature. Couldn’t they of just had a dog like everyone else?  
Sun Mei marched from her spot and brought herself close to Warren.  
“Now Murphy is onboard with the mission we can go to the base?” She directed her question predominantly towards Warren.   
“Sun Mei,” Doc interjected calmly,   
“I know this vaccine is seriously important business right? I appreciate you want to get the job done ASAP and everything but they literally just got here?”  
Sun Mei’s icy gaze almost penetrated through Doc as he paused to swig from his bottle.  
“Could we just take a little break?” He asked with a smile that could of been more accurately described as a wince.   
“You know Sun Mei, I do think Doc has a point,” Warren agreed, “everyone is tired and no doubt a bit stressed. Maybe we should take tonight off to get some rest and start making plans in the morning.”  
“But this man can not be trusted?” Sun Mei protested, “you said so yourself! What’s to say he doesn’t run away before the morning comes?”  
Murphy was about to mock a comment about his feelings being hurt when 10k snapped,   
“He’s not going to go nowhere.”  
Sun Mei looked unconvinced,  
“How can you be so sure?”  
“Because he’s not going to go anywhere,” 10k proclaimed adamantly.  
His intense stare obviously making Sun Mei feel uncomfortable as she disengaged from the eye contact first.  
“That is disappointing news,” Floyd broke the tense atmosphere that was brewing with his narked comment.  
Murphy was surprised to find himself smirking. Kid was kinda funny.

“I saw a motel when we stopped,” Addy mentioned, “I reckon we could clear it, especially now we have King of the Z’s here to help. Be nice to sleep in a bed right?”   
“Oh my god, remember pillows?” Doc reminisced as he cracked his neck, “my neck has suffered during all this.”  
“You’re making yourself sound old,” Murphy joked as he thought about how he had been living in luxury at Murphytown. The set up there might as well of been staying at the four seasons hotel in comparison to the cargo bed or a sleeping bag in an abandoned warehouse.   
“Ok, we’re go check in at the Motel and then tomorrow we’ll head to the base,” Warren summarised, her new blonde hair being tied into a band, “I promise you Sun Mei, we will get Murphy there tomorrow ok?”  
Murphy felt the depths of his stomach ache. Not with hunger this time but with that ever foreboding sense of doom.   
What was he actually going to do?   
He still hadn’t completely convinced himself he was actually going to go to the base and yet here he was... trailing after 10k like a love sick puppy.  
Sun Mei didn’t verbally respond, probably in fear that she would say something she couldn’t retract in her annoyance. So she gave a sharp jerk of her head which Murphy understood to be nod.  
He glanced towards 10k, who was picking something off his gloves, and Murphy wondered if tomorrow was maybe too soon.  
From behind the truck the sound of the gurgling dead was audible. The group jumped to their feet, ready for the attack. Two Z’s cladded in denim and dried blood shuffled their way towards them, one of them missing an eye and the other ones jaw was swinging manically. 10k raised his rifle and automatically Murphy voicelessly commanded him to put the weapon down. 10k’s face stiffened as he realised he was no longer in the drivers seat of his own body. Murphy didn’t care though, he wouldn’t have any unnecessary piking happening in his presence.  
Especially from 10k.  
Murphy reached deep into his telepathic abilities, searching for the two Z’s. It was like listening to someone reading their private journals through a sound warping barrier. It kind of reminded him of when he had visitors come to see him in prison. How they would always attempt to talk through the thick, reinforced glass before realising they sounded like a human talking to a goldfish in its bowl and needed to pick up the phone. Not that Murphy had many visitors. The taller of the Z’s had been Greg and the other Z was Daniel. They had been brothers before they were mauled by ravenous zombies, travelling to work in the early hours of the morning. They had lost their rationality, control of their bodies and thoughts and yet they still wondered the remains of this barren space together. Still connected by their strong, sibling bond even in their undead state. To Murphy that was enough proof that Z’s were not complete monsters.   
He tapped into what lingered of their consciousness and directed them away from the group.  
“What’s happening?” He heard Floyd ask as everyone witnessed Murphy communicate silently with the Z’s.   
Daniel, the Z who was missing his eye, seemed to almost sigh a raggedy, disappointed breath as he longingly looked at the living.  
“Don’t make this hard,” Murphy groaned as he imagined pushing the Z’s backwards with large, invisible hands,  
“Go find someone else to snack on.”  
The Z’s grumbled and snapped their teeth but obligingly turned on their heels and staggered back the way they came.  
“That’s very interesting,” Sun Mei noted, her eyes following the two corpses as they left.   
“It’s actually real,” Floyd gawped, his eyes practically popping from his hollow face.  
“What? Did you think we were making it up the whole time?” Warren laughed as she clapped a thankful hand on Murphy’s tense shoulder as she passed him.  
His whole head pounded as though he had smashed his forehead into a pile of bricks.   
“Not that I didn’t believe, but to see it..” he trailed off as he watched 10k rub his temples.  
The dots clearly being drawn together in Floyd’s mind as he clamped his mouth shut.  
Murphy searched for a cigarette when a weather beaten hand obstructed his vision. A loosely rolled joint waving under his nose as Doc concluded,  
“You’re gonna need something a bit stronger than a snout my friend.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Floyd’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling brave when I wrote this.  
> Please Enjoy :)

Floyd was ashamed to admit that he had been snooping. When he saw Murphy and 10k sharing yet another cigarette and 10k’s handsome face laughing at something Murphy had whispered to low for him to hear, he was being eaten alive by jealousy. How on earth was he supposed to talk to 10k when the walking hellfire wouldn’t shut the fuck up? He was always talking, talking, talking. To anyone, about anything. Floyd couldn’t see how 10k could stand it. It was like they were all side characters in ‘The Murphy’ show. He took a moment to slip into the room he knew Murphy had abandoned a few bags and a jacket in. He wasn’t really sure what he was trying to find. He just wanted to try to understand what it was that made 10k so smitten. His search was rather disheartening when he uncovered some more cigarettes, a half eaten candy bar and some dirty clothes. He was intrigued to find a tattered leather wallet. Who still carried a wallet? Inside he found a crumpled $20 bill, and a handful of receipts. He highly doubted this belonged to either 10k or Murphy. He tossed it back into the pile and sighed.   
What was he doing?   
Even Floyd knew he was acting juvenile in the grand scheme of things. The world was about to get its cure and all Floyd could think about was if 10k was still in love with his ex. He could hear the unexpected sound of a muffled conversation approaching the room.   
“Shit,” Floyd hissed to himself.  
He did not want 10k to see him in here, how would he explain this without portraying himself as a creep? As the deep voices got closer Floyd panicked and shut himself in the slated doored closet. He found himself submerged by untouched bed linen and an itchy duvet. It was stifling warm, the air stale and his anxiety in his chest making him feel hot but he was grateful for the added layer of concealment. He attempted to hold his breath as he peered through the thin gaps at the sight of Murphy and 10k.

“Don’t you think Floyd will be wondering where you are?” Murphy snickered as he threw his blood stained shirt onto the bed. The sheets had once been cleanly made, clearly before the Z’s starting attacking and had been left undisturbed since. As the shirt landed on the bed Floyd felt his forehead crease as he saw the scars that littered Murphy’s torso. He was still shell shocked that the whole ‘zombie messiah’ tale was true, to see the gauges missing from Murphy’s body only reinforced the story.  
10k visibly rolled his eyes and snorted with forced agitation at Murphy’s words.   
“Don’t be jerk,” 10k sighed as he slumped onto the motels, creaky bed.  
Floyd could feel his heart sinking into the pit of his empty stomach as he noted the lack of defence for their relationship in 10k’s response.  
“You can see he gets so pissed off when you’re with me,” Murphy acknowledged, a mean smirk on his menacing mouth as he relished the idea of angering the kid.  
Floyd’s cheeks reddened with a burning hatred towards this man. This man who knew a mere fraction of who Floyd was and took great pleasure in attempting to ruin what he had.  
“Sometimes I don’t know who’s supposed to be 40 here,” 10k chuckled softly from where his head rested on the dusty pillow.   
“Oi,” Murphy exclaimed, removing his belt from his trousers and throwing it in 10k’s general direction, “I’m not 40 yet asshole.”  
Floyd could see the disgruntled expression on Murphy’s face. Being older was clearly a touchy subject. Floyd had previously tried to figure out the dynamics of his ‘sort of boyfriend’ and Murphy’s relationship. He just assumed that 10k aided Murphy in reliving his youth, if he had spent his youth in a dystopian world, that is. Floyd himself had spent many nights in bars fending off the paws of older men and women, he had always thought that it was just natural for people past their prime to want to revalidate their past and target the younger patrons.   
Hoping to get their teenage thrills one last time.   
10k propped himself up on his sharp elbows, his almost transparent blue eyes were studying Murphy as he folded his trousers into the back of a chair. Floyd could see the heartache etched into the young mans face. It was as though he was being gnawed on by the nasty, suffocating sensation of sadness. It’s sharp teeth like razors against his insides as it chewed him up and he was trying to remain motionless. Burying the pain behind an immobile mask. Tomorrow Murphy would be at the base. Doing the right thing. Saving humanity and yet Floyd could see that 10k felt it was all so wrong.   
‘How depressing’, he thought bitterly.   
That he was actually feeling sorry for them. The pair that were dismissing him and his own feelings in this triangle entirely  
“Don’t think about it,” Murphy announced solemnly, like he read 10k’s mind as he ruffled 10k’s unruly hair.  
Floyd had almost forgotten that the two shared an unspoken method of communicating. He had seen earlier on that day after Murphy sent the Z’s packing, 10k looked drained and lightheaded. As if he had also been apart of the exchange.

Floyd had a direct view into the bathroom as he saw Murphy stroll into the small space, immediately investigating all the taps and the shower. The pipes rumbled angrily before water spurted from the blackened shower head. Murphy cried out with joy, a wide grin engulfing his face as he looked at 10k in amazement.  
“Running water 10k! It’s fucking running water!” He laughed as he stuck his head under the stream of cold water, shaking it so the water sprayed everywhere like an excited dog in a river.  
“Well that’s a result,” 10k smiled, also looking rather pleased by the prospect of having a real wash that didn’t only half fulfil the job.  
Murphy dragged his fingers down his face, the grime slowly coming away from his red skin. The water dripping from his hair, Murphy gasped with refreshment, appearing to be reenergised.  
“That has got to be the best feeling in the world right now, oh my god!” He cheered as he approached 10k, “come! you gotta give it a go!”  
He placed a wet hand on the front of 10k’s shirt as he dragged him hastily from the bed to the bathroom.  
10k laughed as he attempted to stay upright on his feet before Murphy roughly pushed 10k’s head under the water. Floyd had to restrain every muscle in his body from wanting to jump from the closet and launch a fist at Murphy. He couldn’t be sure if Murphy was just messing around or trying to drown 10k, the man was just so unreadable.   
10k was clearly shocked by the freezing temperature and yelped as the icy water touched his skin. He threw his head out of the water as he he spluttered and spat, shoving Murphy hard by the chest.  
“Feels good right?” Murphy grinned cheekily as he watched 10k remove his wet shirt and tossed it to the ground like a moody adolescent.  
Although his body language was radiating annoyance, the look in his eyes said something else. It was as if 10k was trying to capture a mental still frame of Murphy being, for lack of a better word, playful.   
“Although...” Murphy purred seductively as he slinked closer to 10k, allowing his hands to rest on 10k’s waist, his thumb tracing 10k’s bullet wound scar,   
“I know something that does feel a little better.”  
10k wrapped his slender arms around Murphy’s neck as they collided into kiss. Murphy’s eyes suddenly shifted into a dark, lustful shade of burning amber as they raked across 10k’s bare chest. 10k’s breathing was getting visibly heavier as he looked back at Murphy with wide, doe like eyes. Murphy growled in his throat as he placed one hand underneath 10k’s pointed chin, willingly tilting his head back under Murphy’s silent instruction.   
“God why do you always look so delicious,” Murphy drawled as he kissed hungrily along 10k’s neck.   
Floyd had to swallow hard to push the barbed wire that was lodged in his throat. He didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to bare witness to his new found love getting hot and heavy with this ex convict. He could see that 10k couldn’t get any words out to assemble a sentence, he felt a pang of hurt as he recalled any time they had kissed passionately. He had never thought of 10k was never a man to struggle with expressing himself. He had always been so forward when they had been intimate and here he was, passive and fragile. A whole different person from the one he had met in the diner.

A gentle moan escaped 10k’s mouth as his hips submitted against Murphy’s. Murphy did not need much more encouragement as he swiftly unbuckled 10k’s trousers and slid his hand underneath the material. Floyd winced at the sight, desperately wanting to free himself from his confinement but also not wanted to be caught. Murphy still had his other hand on 10k’s jaw, his thumb pressing hard under the bone.   
“I don’t know how I’m going to live without you,” Murphy said, the words mournful but the tone aggressive and harsh.  
He kissed 10k passionately as he pushed him backwards into the walk in shower. The glass doors rattling from the weight being thrusted against them. 10k jolted from the cold water against his skin, his eyes widening with shock, yet he didn’t do anything to suggest that Murphy should let him go.   
‘Please let him go,’ Floyd wished.   
Within moments Murphy had spun 10k onto his front, his hands sprawled against the wet tiles trying to find something to grip. The water cascading down his feline spine as Murphy removed the obstacle of 10k’s now soaked trousers. Murphy appeared to be more gentle during this part, he massaged the nape of 10k’s neck, his palm exploring the scar of the teeth marks he had bestowed upon the pale flesh. Murphy seemed to whisper something into the crook of 10k’s elongated neck as he steadily pushed himself into him. Floyd could only torture himself with the possibilities of what Murphy was saying.  
Once 10k started to push back Murphy’s whole demeanour changed back to this overpowering self as he grabbed 10k’s hip with one hand and a fistful of wet hair with the other as he thrusted vigorously. Every moan, gasp or whimper that 10k expelled only seemed to spur him on.  
“Fucking hell kid,” he roared as he yanked 10k’s head back by his hair.  
10k appeared to be smirking as Murphy buried his face into 10k’s sharp shoulder blade.  
His nose drew a line upwards against 10k’s skin, Murphy’s mouth opening and panting hard against it. At first he gently nipped the area, releasing 10k’s hair so he could pull 10k closer, so he could be deeper. His teeth dragged along the spot, tasting the salt and desire. Then, to Floyd’s horror, he suddenly clamped down.

Floyd had to cover his mouth to stifle his sharp inhale. 10k whimpered and squirmed a shockingly minimal amount as his nails scraped along the tiling. Murphy sucked for a moment, the taste of raw meat and coppery blood obviously exhilarating him as he pounded against 10k. Biting down ferociously, like a savage wolf with a torn deer in its jaws.   
Why wasn’t 10k protesting? Screaming out in pain?   
“Murphy,” 10k finally groaned, clearly snapping the older man back into his mind as he reluctantly peeled his mouth away.   
Slowly and tauntingly like two pieces of Velcro being carefully separated. The sickening sounds of the wet connection made Floyd’s stomach contort.  
Blood was pouring with the water down 10k’s back, Murphy’s beard now dyed crimson as the thick liquid clung to his teeth. They both reached their climax as Murphy entwined his fingers into 10k’s. Both their knuckles gleaming white from the tightness of their grasp on one another.  
“I love you,” Murphy gushed, smearing the blood from his face across 10k’s ears as he kissed him.  
“I love you too,” 10k breathed, his body relaxing against the broader man.  
Floyd wasn’t sure what about the encounter had disturbed him the most. The zombie biting or the declaration of love that took place after said zombie biting. He cradled his head in his hands, immersed beneath the threadbare duvet as the pair cleaned themselves up in deafening silence.   
“You better cover that up and stop the bleeding,” Murphy, having to fill the quiet, advised, watching as 10k dressed himself.  
10k barely nodded his head as he grabbed a wad of tissue from the bathroom and placed it over the angry looking wound before throwing on a cleanish T-shirt.   
Floyd felt as if he was holding his breath in the closet for an eternity, willing them to leave. Just before they finally departed Floyd heard Murphy’s gruff voice from by the door say,  
“You sure you still want me to go to this miracle base?”  
There was a slight pause before 10k responded,  
“This is bigger than what I want.”  
The door opened and closed. Floyd waited a little while longer to be certain that they wouldn’t be returning before tumbling out of the closet doors. He was physically trembling as he tried to untangle himself from the sheets. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blotches of 10k’s blood that was already staining the carpet.   
This was so messed up.  
In this moment he was truly aware of how complicated 10k’s and Murphy’s relationship actually was. He had known from how 10k behaved when they had come looking for his friends that something was different. He knew from the way Warren and the others spoke about their concerns for the pair and how they were skeptical of the authenticity of Murphy’s feelings. Only now after witnessing the brutality of their intimacy, was the gravity of the situation he was in incredibly obvious.   
How could he of been so naive? 

After taking a few moments to compose himself he rejoined the others in the lobby where they were gathered. Floyd avoided meeting anyone’s eye as he slumped himself into a far corner and let his hands cover his face in exhausted despair. He had never felt this alone. Even when his mother would leave him for days in the house as a child he never felt this kind of loneliness.   
He was disturbed from his self pity by the weight of a body taking a seat beside him. A hand tapping his knee. He opened his eyes to see 10k smiling a lopsided grin. Floyd couldn’t manage to smile back. Was 10k even going to mention anything? Should Floyd say he saw them?  
“I got a surprise for you,” 10k beamed as he pulled a satchel from his shoulder.  
Floyd raised an eyebrow with a broken heart, he still couldn’t bring himself to reply.  
10k pushed the satchel in front of Floyd’s crossed legs and gestured for Floyd to open it. Floyd’s curiosity got the better of him as he opened the bag. A small chuckle passed his lips as he heard the rustling of wrappers. He pulled out several of the candy bars and finally returned a weak smile to the expectant 10k.  
“Twinkies?” He laughed bemusedly, “Where you find these?”  
10k was almost smug about his find,  
“Found them in the pantry when I was looking for food. Made me think of when you practically stalked me from that diner.”  
Floyd thanked 10k, overcome with a wondering if he ever should have followed the mysteriously intense stranger with the pretty blue eyes? He had wanted to see another living person for so long, he was so desperate to not die alone. Being eaten by zombies in the middle of nowhere was not an image that appealed to him back then. Now? Now if he was alone, he wouldn’t be caught up in this post apocalyptic soap opera. He wouldn’t finally have real feelings for someone who was only an hour ago being bitten and shagged by a half zombie man in a motel shower.   
Christ.  
“Thank you for being so cool about all this,” 10k said softly, as though he had heard Floyd’s internal monologue.   
Floyd shrugged his shoulders and tore open sweet treat before taking a bite. It still tasted like the dream of freedom that he and his cousins had talked about for years in their small village in Poland. Twinkies had been referenced in almost all the American Tv they had watched and it had been decided it would be the first thing they would eat once they saved enough money to travel here.   
That felt like a life time ago.  
“This will be over tomorrow,” 10k informed, trying to hide the sadness in his voice.  
“Yeah, Murphy will be gone,” Floyd reminded.  
‘And you will have to settle for second best,’ he finished the statement mentally.  
10k placed a gloved hand on Floyd’s knee and squeezed it gently before adding,  
“And hopefully the world will get its cure.”  
Floyd focused on 10k’s touch and hated himself for admiring how self-sacrificial 10k was being. 10k was willing to endure the loss and obliterate his own heart in order for the advancement of the human race to continue. Floyd wasn’t so sure he would be able to do the same if he was in those shoes. Was he being unreasonable to expect 10k to dismiss all his feelings towards Murphy when the inevitability of his fate was less than a fingernail away? Was he being selfish to think that anyone would be thinking about anything else in this situation? Floyd decided that maybe he ought to be a little more sympathetic. He should try and take a leaf out of 10k’s book and put his own interests aside for a moment while the universe realigned itself. Was being a silver medal to a guy in world full of the walking dead really the worst thing about his life right now? He just had to get through one more day and it would be him and 10k again. Just one more day of pretending that he was ok with 10k and Murphy making eyes at each other from across the room and then it would be over. Then it would be Floyd’s turn to be the centre of 10k’s focus.  
Just one more day.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k’s POV

10k was sure it was the first time he had ever seen Sun Mei smile when they had stumbled upon the high tech looking radio in the abandoned postal office. To 10k it was just a bulky, black machine adorned with knobs and switches but Addy and Sun Mei appeared to be impressed with the piece of equipment. He had watched cluelessly as the pair swivelled dials and connected various wires into sockets until he decided he couldn’t bare to watch them any longer. Instead he took a slow stroll along a row of quaint boutiques in this vintage-aesthetic little town. Since leaving the motel 10k had felt so drained. His head was heavy as though his skull was stuffed with weighted rocks that were rolling around like marbles in a bowl. He couldn’t seem to shake the foggy layer that was draped over his body like being smothered by a shower curtain. Every movement felt forced and took a lot of self motivation to carry out. The morning itself had been somewhat difficult in the sense that no one really knew where they were heading or what was going to unfold once embarking on this journey. As they left, he had felt Murphy squeeze the back of neck in a comforting gesture before he hopped into the cargo bed. How was this so hard? Saving the world was supposed to feel good. Righteous, virtuous and humbling.  
So why did he feel like he was trudging along a death march? Maybe it’s because that was what this was in reality. 10k didn’t need his telepathic link with Murphy to know how he was feeling. He had been silent for the most part, minus the few snide remarks aimed at Sun Mei or Floyd. His mouth was pursed into a tight line and his whole body appeared slack and reluctant. The feeling was mutual. 10k was exhausted from being riddled with guilt, for being the reason Murphy was here in the first place. Why couldn’t he of just shut his mouth and stayed with him at Murphytown? Why didn’t he just say to Murphy to drive away as fast as he could to the furthest part of the country as they could get? Maybe it was because deep down he had this compelling need to please Warren? Or to feel that his life still mattered by doing something of importance? Either way it was too late.  
He stopped to look into a smashed store window, he helped himself to a new scarf. It was black with a fringed hem and had a dark, swirling pattern on it but he didn’t feel like he could afford to be picky over if something was too feminine or not for him to wear. It didn’t smell like old sweat or blood and that’s all 10k really cared about. As he removed his old scarf he winced through his teeth at the hot pain that pulsated through his shoulder. He had not been prepared for Murphy to bite him and yet he had not been remotely shocked. He drew it up to being caught up in the moment. He thought about the sensation of Murphy’s teeth as they pierced his skin. The way Murphy had gripped on to him so tight as his tongue lapped at the wet blood. The sounds of Murphy moaning and slurping as he pressed him hard up against the wall. He cleared his throat as he felt the recognisable prickle of excitement tingle across his pelvis. He physically shook his head as if to clean the dirty memory from his mind as he discarded the old, raggedy scarf. The new one, despite how long it has been sitting in the display, still smelt of a mild, flowery perfume. It was pleasurably soft against the skin of his neck in comparison to the thick, scratchy one he had been wearing for months. The bite was burning under his shirt. He supposed he had let Murphy do it compensate for leaving him. For abandoning him in the name of ‘the greater good’. If Murphy was going to spend the rest of his life as a science experiment at least he could remember all the good times he had with 10k. Or maybe 10k just liked it? Another scar. A permanent reminder of the man he loved and was going loose. 

He made his way back to the group and was surprised to see Murphy and Floyd perched on the roof of the truck together. Murphy was doing something with his hands and both of the men were watching with serious faces. 10k felt as if he was holding his breath. The thin rays of sunlight were reflecting off Floyd’s loose curls, the deep orange looking somewhat brighter. His tracksuit was too large for his lean frame as it swamped his spindly legs and the jacket was baggy off his shoulders. He seemed intently focused on whatever Murphy was doing. Murphy’s hair and beard were black as coal against his scarlet skin. Even though he was missing his three meals a day, he was still substantially a thicker build than Floyd. His shoulders broad in his black shirt and his thighs filling his dark denim jeans. Looking at them both next to one another, 10k wasn’t sure if he should be pleased they were playing nice or apprehensive.  
“And wallah!” Murphy exclaimed with a cheesy grin as he held the beaten leather boot up so that Floyd could have a more thorough inspection.  
That was when 10k noticed that Floyd was sporting a pair of odd socks, thinning on the heels as they dangled carelessly onto the passenger window.  
“Now if I came home to find my ex wife chatting to the missus I would probably look as worried as you,” Doc chuckled playfully as he stood next to 10k.  
“I wasn’t expecting to come back and see this,” 10k confessed as he raised his brow at the sight of Murphy tugging the boot from Floyd’s hand, insisting he wasn’t doing it right.  
“At least Murphy is behaving himself,” Doc acknowledged, folding his wrinkled arms across his chest, “Must be hard having all these men fawning over you.”  
10k exhaled with amusement as he scratched his head.  
“I think the idea is better than the reality,” he half joked.  
Before the Z’s, 10k had barely spoken to any guys and now he seemed torn between his head, his heart and his private parts for a red headed pretty boy and a claret skinned calamity.  
“You know while you were gone I had the nicest few days with three women,” Doc mused fondly as he gazed dreamily into the distance.  
10k could not hide the horror that creeped onto his features. The image of Doc doing anything with anyone was not something 10k wanted to process.  
“I mean it was nice until they wanted to turn me into some fancy throw rug and a side dish for dinner,” Doc shrugged casually, “but that’s women, maybe dudes are different.”  
Before 10k had a chance to expand on this story, the group were distracted by the sound of boots against the gravel.  
“I have spoken to my superiors,” Sun Mei announced, more animated than 10k had seen before, “and they have requested that we meet not directly at the base so we do not compromise it’s location.”  
“Great,” Warren replied, determination hardening her eyes, “where we heading?”  
10k could feel that draining sensation encasing his limbs. He looked towards Murphy who was already staring at 10k with the most pained expression. 10k wasn’t sure if it was his own feelings of dread or Murphy’s he was experiencing. Since the second bite 10k was finding it increasingly difficult to distinguish what were his emotions and what were Murphy’s. Their connection had grown stronger and 10k physically felt that he was dragging the carcass of a dead horse behind him.  
“I think it would be best if me, Warren and Addy travelled alone to deliver Murphy...” Sun Mei started, Murphy naturally rolled his eyes at the phrase ‘being delivered’ as he muttered something to Floyd who laughed.

“No way,” 10k protested, panic flaring inside his guts, “we stay together.”  
“I think it would be best if you stayed here,” Sun Mei repeated.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” 10k couldn’t override the defensiveness that swamped him.  
“You can not be trusted to not do something irrational,” Sun Mei explained, although her face suggested she was not exactly concerned for 10k’s emotional welfare, “I won’t let you jeopardise this entire operation because you suddenly have a change of heart and want to save your boyfriend.”  
10k could feel his face stiffen with frustration. His jaw twitching as he tried his best to not stamp his feet and scream like a petulant toddler.  
“In all fairness the kid did kinda help bring him here in the first place Sun Mei?” Doc reminded softly, his feel-good presence trying to work its magic on the tension in the air.  
“And I am grateful,” Sun Mei pressed, looking already bored of this conversation, 10k knew she was going to dismiss him again.  
“You just expect me to let you take him to this base and not, not even see where he’s going? Not know what I’ve signed him up for? No, I’m coming with you,” he was so pent up with rage and culpability it was as if he could burst like a sack filled to the brim, the stitches pulling from the pressure.  
‘Calm down,’ he heard Murphy’s velvet voice invade his thoughts, ‘just calm down.’  
10k could sense the tightness of his muscles relaxing, his body lightening as his lungs took deep, purposeful breaths. This wasn’t him. It was Murphy. 10k was suddenly very aware of how quiet Murphy had been. He hadn’t made a nasty comment or shot his mouth off in rebellion. He wasn’t outraged by the prospect of 10k not going with him... he didn’t want 10k to go either.  
“Is this what you want?” 10k found himself snarling as he directed his unaimed rifle to where Murphy was still sitting.  
Murphy was frowning at 10k, his hands lighting a cigarette.  
‘We can talk when you calm down,’ the voice inside 10k’s head assured but this only made 10k more furious. After everything they had been through, after all they had shared and lost together, Murphy was willing to just walk away? To just blindly walk into the lions den without 10k by his side? The rejection was overwhelming as his chest cramped with the intensity of his hurt. Everything was just so heightened. He knew he was behaving out of character, like a whiny brat that couldn’t get his own way. He could see the way Addy was looking at him with wide, concerned eyes and how Warren’s head was tilted to one side as she regarded him. He just couldn’t control himself. That was a terrifying thought.  
“Fuck this,” 10k spat under his breath as he marched in the opposite direction.

“Tommy!” 10k heard Murphy call after him but he ignored him.  
He couldn’t bare to listen to whatever bullshit he was going to spout about why 10k shouldn’t come to the base.  
He pulled himself up onto a vandalised phone box before raising his scope to his eye.  
BANG!  
The unsuspecting Z twirled on the balls of its feet like he was doing some type of dance before slumping to the ground.  
BANG!  
This Z propelled backwards into an overturned car. Black blood splattering the pavement.  
BANG!  
The headshot was so clean it passed straight through the Z’s tattooed forehead and barrelled into the centre of its partner that had been straggling behind it.  
10k continued to shoot until his ammunition needed reloading. He finally lowered his rifle and assessed the damage with a clearer head.  
7345.  
“You know storming off and killing Z’s isn’t exactly proving Sun Mei wrong,” Warren’s voice said from below where 10k was perched.  
10k rolled his eyes lightly, not so much at Warren herself but more at that she was right. She was always right. 10k jumped off the phone box and landed with a thud as his heavy boots hit the ground. Warren was watching him with her signature side eyed glare, her hands resting on her hips. Her startling white hair clashing against her dark complexion. Everything about Warren radiated power and strength, even just standing there in front of him she looked prepared to take on the world.  
Like a heroine from a comic book.  
“I’m sorry,” 10k found himself apologising.  
He always felt like Warren was reprimanding him in some way. Even when she was being sensitive or perky she always seemed to be trying to teach 10k some underlying lesson.  
“No, I understand you’re pissed,” Warren said with understanding, “but you can see why she’s thinking you going with Murphy could be a problem right?”  
10k, having reclaimed his own emotions and feeling less stressed, could see why it might seem like a bad idea. Murphy alone was unpredictable and rash, never mind throwing in his young, blend lover with an impeccable trigger finger into the mix. That didn’t stop 10k finding the whole notion absurd. How was he supposed to just say goodbye and let Murphy walk away into the distance not knowing who he was going to meet? Where he was going to be staying? What they were going to do to him? Was he supposed to act as though Murphy was some acquaintance, some project for him to complete and carry on with his life? Maybe in the beginning that would have been the case but California had caused 10k to hurt so much and the pair had only had sex a handful of times. They didn’t even really know each other. That was almost two years ago, so much had changed and developed since then.  
Murphy had changed. 10k had changed.  
“I know you think I’m insane for feeling the way I do about him,” 10k said, his bottom lip trembling as he resisted the urge to weep on Warren’s shoulder, “but I care about him Warren, despite everything, I really do. How do you just let someone go like that?”  
Warren’s stern face softened as she pulled 10k into a comforting hug. She was on the toes of her boots as she attempted to be taller, cradling 10k’s head into her chest like a mother comforting their teenage child through their first heartbreak.  
“It’s like he’s dying or something,” 10k tried to explain, muffled into Warren’s bosom.  
“It would probably be easier if he was,” Warren agreed, “at least when someone’s dying, you can offer them mercy and it’s final right? It’s done. This... this is different but 10k you need to get it together. You need to be the tough kid I know you are because this is only going to keep hurting. We need you and we need you strong ok?”  
She released her grip on him as he stood upright, her hands still pressed into his biceps. 10k blinked hard a few times to prevent the tears that were building up from escaping. Embarrassment creeping in by the moment.  
“This is what you’ve worked so hard for 10k! We’re finally so close to getting that cure. Hell, I’m amazed you even managed to get his stubborn ass this far,” Warren brushed the hair from 10k’s face and smiled weakly, “you’ve made him a better person, that’s going to have to be enough for now.”  
10k nodded, knowing that although Warren’s pep talk may of been harsher than if it had come from Doc or Addy, it was the reality check he needed. He had only survived so long because he had shut himself down. Flicked the switch on his emotions to dull them and be able to move passed them swiftly. Keep a cool exterior even though he was crumbling like ruins. Pristine on the outside, cracked and rubble on the inside. 

“You’re right,” 10k agreed, “you’re right.”  
If Warren could still lead them after loosing her husband, Garnett and Vasquez, 10k could do this. Even if it meant feeling like he was swallowing knives for the rest of his life, he could do it. They started making their way back towards the group. 10k could see Warren’s suspicious gaze hovering over him.  
“Can you be honest with me?” Warren asked with a concerned frown.  
“Sure,” 10k nodded, uncertain when he had ever been anything but honest with Warren.  
“How many times has he bit you?” She asked, a thoughtful look resting upon 10k’s back, “you’re bleeding through your shirt.”  
10k cursed himself for not wearing a jacket but layers on the wound were aggravating it, making it sore and sensitive. He would have thought the bleeding would have eased up by now.  
“Does it matter?” 10k deflected, trying to brush it off as casually as possible.  
“I guess not,” Warren shrugged her shoulders with flippancy even though 10k could see she was dying to give her opinion, “I just don’t want anything to happen to you, I might even go as far to say that I kinda like having you around.”  
10k laughed, grateful that Warren wasn’t going to be persistent for the truth. She probably already asked Murphy anyway. They pretended to despise each other but 10k could see the fondness they shared.  
“Wow I’m truly honoured,” 10k smiled, feeling Warren’s elbow nudge into his ribs.  
When they approached the group, 10k had to inhale deeply to keep himself from reverting back to his distressed state. He could see Murphy was talking to Addy, all bravado and in true showmanship style as she laughed and raised her middle fingers to him. How was he being so brave when all 10k could do was worry?  
“It’s all going to work itself out,” Warren gently reminded, “you wait and see.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV of chapter 26

Murphy was sat idly on the roof of the truck. He could barely muster the energy to toss the last of the foul tasting peanuts into his mouth. He wasn’t sure if peanuts could even turn stale but these ones definitely tasted off. He creased his nose in contempt as he crumpled the empty packet in his fist. He couldn’t even enjoy his last savoury snack as free(ish) man. Typical.   
He watched lazily as everyone else seemed to be busy scuttling around him, he didn’t even know what they could possibly be doing while they waited for the others to return from their expedition into the town. Murphy was shattered. His limbs weighted by invisible cement and his head fuzzy like cotton wool had been threaded between his ears. He knew it was his own fault. He should never of bitten 10k again but it was so irresistible and if there was anything Murphy couldn’t withstand, it was temptation. Especially when it was presented to him in the form of 10k’s muscular back, glistening under the clean water, inwardly arched beneath Murphy’s hands just begging to be touched. Murphy would always seem to fail to remember his extra decades on 10k when they were together, particularly when they were being intimate. This seemed to permit Murphy to be more reckless, even though the truth was that Murphy had long since forgotten the turmoil that was attached with being a twenty something year old. All the hormones, the angst, the insecurities and then the way these things would present themselves. Murphy sighed heavily as he watched Doc shuffle around the truck. The body was only designed to contain one soul. Murphy’s body had been through it’s fair share of substance abuse, sleepless nights and the more recent ordeal of being the main course on a zombie buffet. It was barely able to cope with Murphy’s emotions, never mind 10k’s. 10k was full of trepidation and frustration. He overanalysed the smallest of details and was an expert in sulking when he felt he was being hard done by. Murphy was sluggishly carrying both of their psychological baggage and it was taking its toll. 

Murphy’s gaze was distracted by the flash of scorching red hair. Murphy would have had to of been developing cataracts to deny how attractive the lissom limbed male was. It disturbed Murphy to see, that despite the fact Floyd was living at the end of the world, he had flawless blanched skin and a full head of vibrant curls. He looked like he had strutted right out of a shampoo commercial and Murphy hadn’t even attempted to shave in over two months. At least 10k would have an unblemished, desirable shoulder to cry on once Murphy was gone. Murphy could see that Floyd had acquired a beaten pair of boots. He had ditched his discoloured sneakers, probably in the hope that the boots would be more durable and provide some comfort. Murphy could see that the once red sneakers had worn away at the soles and the laces had frayed. Floyd had clearly never owned a pair of boots that didn’t have zippers up the sides. Murphy observed how many time Floyd threaded and re-threaded the laces, constantly missing holes or not being able to tighten them so they didn’t slide of his foot with every step he took. It was almost painful. Murphy could recall 10k trying to explain how much assistance Floyd needed with learning survival skills, or even just basic adulting skills. Murphy had been there. A young man so consumed by getting high and having a good time he didn’t know how to function a washing machine fully until he was living alone at 25. Murphy grumbled to himself about how hopeless this kid was before lighting a cigarette.  
“You never tied a shoelace before?” Murphy asked as the end of his smoke found the flame.  
Floyd frowned, distorting his prepossessing features, as he tugged harder at the laces. Murphy could see the vexation in Floyd’s body langue. His shoulders hunched and his movements jerky and sharp.  
“Give me the boot,” Murphy commanded, extending a hand, unsure of his sudden compulsion to be helpful.   
Floyd looked just as startled, one red eyebrow higher than the other as he regarded Murphy’s hand like he might have been holding onto a poisonous scorpion and was waiting for Floyd to get close enough to release it onto him.   
“Don’t be a stubborn ass and give me the boot,” Murphy sighed, was it just the young men that survived the zombie apocalypse that were so obstinate and difficult or were all twenty year olds like this?  
Murphy curled his fingers a few times, suggesting to Floyd to place the shoe in his hand, which he begrudgingly did. Murphy unthreaded the laces and prepared to start again, the cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he said,  
“You gotta know how to lace a boot properly or your feet are gonna get fucking crippled. So you start like this...”

As Murphy begun to arrange the lace into its pattern, Floyd hopped with ease into the space beside Murphy. He watched Murphy’s hands intently as they loosened and then tightened the black thread with an accuracy.   
“I feel like fool,” he chuckled bitterly, “how can I not tie shoe?”  
Murphy smirked as he inhaled in his cigarette,  
“You act like you’re from the planet zuberon.”  
Floyd blinked harshly as he looked at Murphy in shock.  
“It’s a joke,” Murphy said flatly, “I mean you act like an alien or something stupid like that.”  
Murphy was surprised how alike Floyd was to 10k. How he shared the same cluelessness to anything from the mainstream world before it went kaputt. He was easily teased and needed in depth explanations.   
“I feel like alien,” Floyd admitted, watching as Murphy repeated the system of loosening and tightening, “I feel like this is different planet and I do not fit. I had 10k before, it made me have a little more place in this world.”  
Murphy paused as he removed his cigarette from his mouth to flick the excess ash, the unfamiliar feeling of pity was stirring inside him.   
‘I must be going soft,’ he thought to himself.  
“You still have 10k,” he said in what was supposed to sound reassuring although he was sure he sounded too aggressive, “the others, they all seem to like you too.”  
Floyd shook his head, retrieving his own cigarette from the pockets of his oversized sweatshirt,  
“No, you have 10k. I see now you always had 10k. The rest of them just tolerate me”  
Murphy exhaled through his nose, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make him sound like a gloating jerk. Sure, he had always been jealous that 10k had sparks with someone else and he was pleased that 10k gravitated his way back to him but that victory didn’t make seeing this kid looking lost and defeated a pleasant sight.   
“I wish there was still music to fill these silences,” Floyd thought aloud as Murphy passed the finished boot to him.  
“Yeah, 10k said you were in a band right?” Murphy remembered as he gestured for the other boot that required laces.  
“Oh so you spoke about me yes?” Floyd asked with a clear interest.   
Murphy ignored Floyd’s attempt to probe information from him. It wouldn’t make the kid feel any better about his situation to know that Murphy had been snooping on 10k’s personal thoughts about Floyd.  
As Murphy untangled the the knot of thread Floyd had handed to him, Murphy tried again to make conversation.  
“What did you play?” He asked.  
Floyd was obviously irritated that Murphy didn’t divulge any juicy intel, huffed and smoked his cigarette,  
“Mostly guitar. I dabbled with piano and drums. I was not bad at cello...”  
“Cello?” Murphy smiled, secretly impressed, “that’s very rock and roll.”  
Floyd laughed as he brushed his thick hair from his face as he rolled his eyes,  
“Mama insisted I learnt ‘a real instrument.’”  
“I tried to learn the guitar once,” Murphy admitted, loosing himself in the memory of his Mother dragging the guitar to a pawn shop and telling him how he would ‘never be any good anyways’.  
“Couldn’t quite master it though,” he lied as he pulled the lace through the hole.  
“You can lace boots pretty good,” Floyd jested, “playing cello is no good for anything these days.”  
“I wish people were just after my boot lacing skills,” Murphy grimaced, realising he had trodden on tender territory of the all too near future.   
“Are you scared?” Floyd asked, his eyes focusing on the boot and not Murphy’s hangdog look.  
Scared? Scared was the understatement of the century. Scared was merely the teeny, tiny tip of a humongous iceberg of how Murphy was feeling. He felt petrified, nervous, wrathful, resentful, obligated, pressured, dejected... the list went on. Murphy could see Floyd intentionally looking away, sparing Murphy from having to potentially expose his fear to an eager face.   
“Meh, what’s the worse that can happen?” Murphy faked aloofness the way he had done for the majority of his life. If he acted like the world couldn’t hurt him then maybe the damage would be lessened. 

They sat in a silence that could have only lasted a few seconds before Murphy derailed the conversation by triumphantly raising the finished boot.  
“And Wallah!” He boasted, handing Floyd the finished boot, still pleased with himself for being able to do the task. For being able to do something productive with his time even if it was just tying a lace.  
Floyd looked at the boot in his hands and went to pull at a lace but Murphy promptly stopped him. Insisting he would ruin his efforts. Floyd laughed as he thanked him.  
“No problem kid,” he said wearily, rubbing his temples.  
Sun Mei then disturbed the tranquility of the moment with her ‘big news’ and it infuriated Murphy how smug she looked about it. She was genuinely excited, he could see it as her usual serious scowl was replaced by wide, energised eyes and her lips slightly turned upwards as she restrained herself from smiling.   
“I think it would be best if me, Warren and Addy travelled alone to deliver Murphy...” Sun Mei began to recite her already devised plan.   
This made Murphy snort aloud and his eyes roll. He couldn’t help but find it lugubriously amusing as he titled his head towards Floyd and muttered,  
“Sometimes I feel like Chinese takeout.”  
Floyd snickered, although his gaze was uncomfortably flickering somewhere else. That was the first time Murphy had noticed 10k standing not too far from them, next to Doc with his rifle in his hands. Murphy noted the new scarf he had draped around his neck, completing his entirely black ensemble. 10k had snapped at Sun Mei like an alligator trying to catch a passing bird that skimmed too close along the water.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He had snarled, that fire in his belly well and truly alight.   
Murphy studied 10k in that fragment of time. The way his eyes were still that sparkling Kyanite but were framed by dark circles, evidence of years of restless nights. His jaw was still that handsome, angular shape, but now darkening with sprouts of hairs. His plump lips verging on pouting as he bit the inside of his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. 10k’s shoulders were back, his grip on rifle so tight like it might just defy gravity if he dared let go. He looked so much older than when they had first met. Less gangly and wild eyed, more secure in his own body. There was a time when Murphy could remember 10k biting down on his tongue until it bled rather than speaking out of term and rustling a few feathers whereas now he was more self assured about his place in the group. He knew his option mattered and even if he didn’t, he was no longer afraid to speak up. Murphy harboured a great amount of guilt towards his role in 10k’s maturing. He knew he couldn’t be held accountable for everything. After all, he didn’t shelter the kid from the real world and make him live in the middle of no where with very little human interaction. He didn’t kill both of 10k’s parents and leave a tender, vulnerable 16 year old boy to navigate his way through the apocalypse and hell, he didn’t make the damn zombies happen either. He did, however, put 10k in impossibly difficult situations. He forced 10k to make a lot of choices he would potentially of never had to of made. He didn’t just push 10k out of his socially, introverted bubble he had created, Murphy burst it completely. He left 10k bare and inexperienced, unprepared to face the world and it’s elements. Murphy had used this to his advantage. To get what he had wanted. He wanted 10k and he got him. 

Murphy should have known taking the kids virginity and showing him the ropes of an adult relationship, no matter how dysfunctional it was, was going to make 10k cling to him. Your first love is always the most intense right? These new feelings of lust and belonging were bound to make 10k want to fight for him. This was all 10k knew how to do. Everything in this new world that worth anything had to be fought for by tooth and claw. Everything 10k had, even his own life, he had to fight for it. Why would Murphy be any different? Though 10k had strayed with Floyd, Murphy was still present, even if it wasn’t physically and Murphy had known then that he had left his tainted stain on 10k. As Murphy sat, drained of energy, he really acknowledged how 10k was the only thing in in his life that had shown him any goodness. Like Murphy’s entire existence was him choking on soil as he scrambled his way from underneath the earth. Constantly getting trodden on from the people above him, neglected by the gardeners that should have been tending to him. Then one day, he just erupted from the dirt. Gasping and gagging, blinded by the light and there, amongst the overgrown weeds and dying foliage, was the most brightest flower he had ever seen. Thriving, living, bringing joy to a world that had long sense deserved to have a flower like this blooming in its garden. And Murphy did not want to loose this flower.

Nor did he want to have to see that flower crushed or wilted again. He had seen the pained and anguished looks upon 10k’s face too many times. More times than he was happy to admit and it as worsened by the fact that Murphy had been the cause for a majority of them. Maybe Sun Mei was right. Maybe 10k coming would only be another heartbreak the kid would have to endure on Murphy’s behalf. He would have to watch him be taken away by these strangers and not be able to chase after him or shoot everyone in sight. He would stand there, much how he was now, his brows narrowed and his mouth trembling under the weight of trying not to cry. 10k wasn’t a wimp and he would never want anyone to think any differently, but Murphy had seen the glazed wet eyes and the twitching sniffles of his nose when he was trying to maintain his hard faced pretence. He watched as 10k started to loose his cool, his face deepening with a blotchy, flushed pink.   
‘Calm down,’ Murphy instructed in his mind, hoping this would encourage 10k to not do something rash.   
“Is this what you want?” 10k had growled at him, his eyes piercing through Murphy’s like the sharpest edge of a sword.   
Murphy could feel the intense stares of everyone surrounding them. He didn’t want a slanging match in front of these people.   
‘We can talk when you calm down.’  
10k stormed off thunderously back towards the town. Murphy called out to him, wishing he could explain himself without 10k thinking he was disregarding his feelings when actually he was trying to protect them.   
“I’ll go,” Warren had said, already trailing behind 10k’s path in the gravel, “just let me speak to him Sun Mei and then we’ll go.”  
Sun Mei looked exasperated as she shrugged, it wasn’t like she was being given much of a choice. Murphy groaned as he slid clumsily off the car roof.   
“I am not looking forward to being around him when you go,” Floyd sighed from behind Murphy.  
Murphy stretched his aching arms above his head and attempted to creak his stiff neck as he contemplated how much of a grieving, misery 10k was going to be.   
“I could always not go,” Murphy hushed, glancing at Sun Mei to make sure she wasn’t listening, “I could always do a moon light flit and fuck the whole thing off.”  
Floyd landed next to Murphy, his new boots thudding as they hit the ground.   
“I would understand if you did,” Floyd sympathised, dragging his curls from his face.   
Murphy knew that if he did run, he would only be starting another cat and mouse chase. Operation bite mark on his ass, the remaining governments searching for him like the hunter and it’s prey. 10k would never forgive him. An endless cycle of capture and escape, repeating over and over until they all died or they got what they wanted anyway.   
“Do me a favour?” Murphy asked dolefully, watching as Floyd lit another cigarette, “I know he can be a pain in the ass but don’t give up on him. You’re both good kids, you should try to make it work. This life is abysmal, don’t fucking waste time fighting about crap that just don’t mean shit. You don’t have enough time.”  
Floyd nodded silently, seeming to appreciate the sentiment of Murphy’s advice.   
“You know, I finally see what they were all saying about you,” Floyd smiled softly.  
“Do enlighten me,” Murphy said dryly.  
“I was sure I would hate you. Everything people said was all bad but they all still like you. They did not want anything bad to happen to you even though they always call you bastard,” Floyd explained, making Murphy chuckle, “but I see now that you are not all bad. I still do not see what 10k see’s but I see you are not monster.”  
Murphy patted Floyd on the back, a masculine form of affection between two men who had nothing in common other than the feelings they shared for someone else. Murphy went to walk towards Addy, to say his goodbyes, when he heard the sound of returning footsteps. His heart pounded painfully in his chest. The goodbyes were only going to be the beginning.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV

He never wanted to let him go. To forget the sensation of Murphy’s rough hands on his face. To loose the ability to remember how he tasted, how it felt to touched by someone who was possessed with the full intention of wanting to know his body. He didn’t want to have to dig deep into his memories to remember how soft Murphy’s hair felt between his fingers when he raced his hands through it. He didn’t want to forget how Murphy’s breath against his mouth made his entire being quiver with a longing he had never experienced with anyone else. 10k didn’t want this to be the last time they got to be completely immersed in one another. Everything about this kiss was desirous, fierce. It consumed them as they momentarily blocked out the ever looming future. Murphy had marched his way towards 10k before seizing him by the elbow and dragging him forcefully him from the group. 10k had been mentally preparing himself for all the things he was going to say, the things he needed to say, before Murphy left but Murphy did not give him the opportunity. Before 10k could even open his mouth to try, Murphy had heatedly rammed 10k into a nearby wall and locked lips with him. This was easier for Murphy, 10k understood, to express his devotion through actions rather than words. To forcibly cup 10k’s face and nip the pink skin of his lips rather than tell 10k he was going to miss him. To buck his hips against 10k’s and rub his thigh against the outer layers of 10k’s clothing, than tell him he was frightened to go. Murphy would rather slide his snake-like hand under 10k’s shirt and hold 10k so tightly that it was certain to leave a plum shaded bruise, rather than have to admit that the prospect of never seeing him again was making him utterly wretched.

They broke apart and stared steadily and intently at each other. Neither one of them wanting to break the silence first. Murphy ran his thumb carelessly across 10k’s roseate lips as he composed his breathing. 10k didn’t dare move incase he ruined the moment and he unintentionally sped up the process of Murphy’s departure.   
“If only we could have met in a world where I wasn’t ‘the package’ aye?” Murphy whispered as he kissed 10k lightly, like a slight breeze that barely rustled the leaves on a tree.   
10k had wanted to say so many things. He had wanted to tell Murphy that his life was never going to be the same, that he was proud of him for finally doing the right thing, that he was sorry he couldn’t find a better way for this to have happened... but all he could do was dig his fingers deeper into the creases of the arms of Murphy’s leather jacket.   
“Look on the bright side, how many people can say they got laid by the saviour of humanity huh?” Murphy joked, causing 10k to chuckle, as much as he often found Murphy’s humour inappropriate he was going to miss his clownish antics.   
“I’m not trying to be an ass by saying you shouldn’t come Thomas,” Murphy said with a more serious tone to his voice, he cleared his throat before continuing,   
“It’s just that if you come, I might not go though with it. I might loose my shit or something and then we would have to start all over again and I don’t think either of us can do that again, do you?”  
10k always found it strange how Murphy seemed to know when it was suitable to call him by his real name. It was as if Murphy knew when 10k was feeling fragile, when he was more like his previous self. Naive and vulnerable. It was like Murphy recognised the different aspects of 10k’s personality and knew how to communicate with each one. Thomas was the person who everyone left. They either died or moved on and even though he predicted the loss with everyone he came in contact with, he still hurt. Thomas definitely felt every inch of the hurt whereas 10k was hardened. He had adapted and grown a thicker shell to protect himself. He could bury the pain, the rejection, the mourning and carry on like it was just ‘one of those things’. That’s because in the zombie apocalypse loosing people you loved was ‘one of those things.’ Thomas was still living in the old world, one where experiencing grief was somewhat a rarity to most people. Right now, he had no extra layer. He wasn’t sternly frowning or portraying disinterest as he shrugged his shoulders and focused his attention on adding more numbers to his Z count. He was shaky, Murphy’s weight pinning him in place, his eyes damp and a dry lump caught in his throat. All those things 10k would have replied, possibly something sharp or witty, had vanished like the words from a script floating off the page and the letters jumbling together chaotically. All Thomas could do was hold onto Murphy and prey for a few more minutes with him.   
10k would have agreed and said something honourable like,   
‘no, I know you’re right. I don’t like it but you’re right. You need to go and I can’t be in the way of that.’  
Thomas on the other hand, just wanted bawl his eyes out like an inconsolable child. 

“This is harder than I thought it was going to be,” he ended up saying. A wondering hand travelling up Murphy’s face, feeling the roughness of his scruffy beard against his palm.  
“It will get easier,” Murphy reassured, even though it was quite obvious his heart constricted too tightly as he said it,  
“You got a nice, European hottie waiting for you. You’ll forget all about me eventually.”  
10k highly doubted that he would ever forget a man like Murphy.   
“Do you think we’ll still be able to feel each other, you know, the blend thing?” 10k pondered as he enjoyed the feeling of Murphy’s fingers tracing along the bottom of his spine.  
“I don’t know,” Murphy answered honestly, “I don’t really feel the others but maybe it’s because they are far away or I’m only ever really interested in you so I don’t pay attention?”  
10k could see the anxiousness in Murphy’s eyes, their amber tones sparkling despite the grey sky.   
“Thank you,” Murphy said as he kissed 10k gently.  
“For what?” 10k asked with a quizzical expression.  
“For putting up with my bullcrap,” Murphy explained simply.  
“Shut up,” 10k smirked as he pulled Murphy into a deep, passionate kiss.   
He didn’t want to spend this precious time together apologising for the past. After all, the past was all they were going to have.  
The sound of someone clearing their throat theatrically disturbed the pair from their embrace. Murphy growled as he squeezed his eyes shut, 10k inhaled deeply, breathing in Murphy’s musky scent.   
“We gotta get moving if we wanna make it before nightfall,” Warren informed them, trying not to sound too pressuring yet stressing the time limit they were under.  
10k glanced over Murphy’s shoulder to see Warren standing with the others, all their eyes attempting to look anywhere but directly at Murphy and 10k.   
“I’m being summoned,” Murphy chuckled bitterly as he pulled 10k into a hug.   
His squeeze was like a python coiling around its food, pushing the air out of 10k’s lungs.  
“I love you,” 10k whispered, barely getting the words out. He had to force them as if he were swallowing a dry pill, his throat tightening as he fought tears.   
“I love you too kid,” Murphy said lowly against 10k’s ear.   
The words that had once made 10k feel so alive, now destroying him.  
As Murphy moved away he sighed dramatically. Sniffing hard and stepping back as he placed his hands on his hips and grimaced.  
“Lets get this show on the road,” he faked the bravado, giving 10k a cheeky wink before clapping his hands together and walking towards Warren.  
10k remained slumped against the wall, his feet stuck to the ground like they being pulled by the strongest magnets.   
How was he supposed to do this?   
After all this time, it was finally happening and 10k didn’t know what to do.  
“You’re making your hands bleed,”   
10k was so distracted he had failed to notice Floyd gingerly approaching him.   
10k frowned as he inspected the pin pricks of vermillion that were bubbling from the broken the skin. Maybe he was just trying to redirect his emotional pain into a physical one? Trying to make something else hurt to distract him from the fact he had just lost Murphy. 

Every step towards to truck felt like 10k had hiked a mile. He watched as Murphy and Doc exchanged a manly hug. Warren and Sun Mei were already in the front, ready to leave. Addy came up beside 10k and affectionately nudged his elbow.  
“We will make sure he gets there alright,” she had promised, her eyes pooled with guilt even though none of this was remotely her fault, “we won’t let him go if there’s anything fishy. You know Warren wouldn’t let him.”  
10k nodded, hoping that Addy was right. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek in that lovingly, older sibling manner before jumping into the cargo bed with Murphy by her side. The sky was a bleak, charcoal colour as the wheels of the truck began to roll forward. 10k stood numbly, the slight trickle of rain splattering against his face as he watched Murphy watching him. Murphy raised a hand in a pitiful attempt of a wave which 10k didn’t return. He stared at the truck until it was nothing but a spec along the horizon. It’s black paint job melded into the dark sky. He hoped they found a cure soon.   
So that all this heartache wasn’t for nothing.   
So that people could start living real lives again.   
So that Murphy could come back sooner rather than later.   
“You did good kid,” Doc praised, snapping 10k from his trance.   
“Huh?” He asked confused, he couldn’t see how anything that just happened could be perceived as good.  
Doc’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as put a comforting arm around 10k’s shoulders,  
“Well, you didn’t shoot anyone? That’s always good in my book.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am thinking this story only has a few more chapters until it is finished. I may work on a part two kind of thing but I’m not sure yet. Any suggestions or any stories you would like me to write please just send me a message or a comment and I’ll see what I can do :)
> 
> Happy reading!

“I’m guessing that friendly looking bunch of soldiers are my welcoming committee,” Murphy drawled sarcastically to Addy as the truck made a u-turn back towards the grounded helicopter on the over side of the highway.  
“I didn’t think men in uniform would have you looking so worried,” Addy said, concealing her concern with humour as she raised an eye at Murphy’s screwed up face.  
“I’ve spent a while in the clink and the guys in white coats made me a freak. I have trust issues ok? Shoot me,” Murphy explained, heavy chains weighing on his heart, his body aching for a bottle or two of whiskey.  
“People have tried,” Addy giggled nervously. Murphy always found it perplexing how a girl could look so sweet with an angelic smile on her face whilst having a baseball bat adorned with metal spikes and encased with archaic blood slung over her shoulder.  
Murphy’s hands were visibly shaking as he lit what must have been his fourth consecutive cigarette. Preoccupying his hands seemed to be keeping his nerves at bay. He had been trying to be strong around 10k. He didn’t want the kids last image of him being a bumbling wreck as he awaited to hear the conditions he had to live with in order to provide a cure.  
Was he going to be hooked up on a drip for eternity?  
Was he going to be strapped back on a cold, sterile table with people probing and poking him until his body finally gave up? Were these people going to be great big phoneys like Dr Merch and her cronies? Was he going to be kept caged up like an animal in captivity within a military base?  
God what he would of done for even a tipple of the devils juice right now. A glass of whiskey to give him that wonderful boost of liquid confidence.  
“What made you change your mind Murphy?” Addy asked, her beaded necklace dancing around her neck as they drove over potholes.  
“Honestly?” Murphy sighed, blowing his lips as he shrugged, “I have no idea.”  
“Was it 10k?” Addy suggested, her head tilted to the side like an intrigued pup.  
“You know Murphytown was going so well,” Murphy began, not to sure why he was even trying to justify his choices.  
This is what they had all wanted from the start right?  
“I thought I had made something work. I really thought that I had actually done something that helped people and yes, ok, maybe I went a little bit dictator-ish at times,” he admitted, pulling the face of a cheeky school boy who had been caught smoking behind the bike sheds,  
“but it was all coming together. I was finally in charge of my own fate and all that rubbish... when I lost it all and it was just me and 10k ...”  
Murphy sunk into a black hole of his own memories. He could see 10k crying, stiff as a statue, as he pierced his own fingers with the knife.  
He could see them in bed together. Murphy’s navy hands pinning 10k down by his enchantingly long neck, those sky blue eyes wide and full of lust as they gazed into Murphy’s.  
He could see 10k shouting at him in anguish, brandishing his gun as he spat venom with his words.  
Murphy had an album of images scrapbooked in his mind. All of these moments that were captured on his mental film were all, even the worse ones, completely worth it. Every moment with 10k made the apocalypse all worthwhile to Murphy. He wasn’t even sure he was able to feel the complexity of love until the world ended, that had to mean something. Mean there was good in him all along but he couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t bare another heartbreak, even if that did sound like the lyric from a cheesy love song.  
“I’m too old to hit the reset button. Once a jackass always a jackass but I’m trying Addy,” he smiled weakly as he felt her small hand squeeze his forearm.  
“Wow,” Addy gushed as the truck came to a gradual halt, “this is going to go right this time Murphy, it just has to.” 

The doors slammed shut as Warren and Sun Mei exited the vehicle. A short, dumpy man with the same angry glare that Sun Mei wore approached them. Soldiers following closely behind him. Murphy couldn’t of rolled his eyes any harder at the sight of Sun Mei and the man saluting one another, Sun Mei bowing as she moved from his path.  
“You must be Murphy,” the man addressed him with a curt nod.  
Murphy huffed deeply, already bored of the formalities. He stood up, stretching his sore body from being sat so tense for too long. He patted Addy on the top of her head before jumping over the side of the cargo bed.  
“The one and only,” he smirked, blagging braveness as his stomach cramped with anxiety.  
“We have been waiting for you,” the man said, “we are all very grateful for your willingness.”  
Murphy snorted, rubbing the top of his head as he glanced at Warren. She was inspecting the man with her eyes, her internal ‘asshole radar’ gaging him.  
“Well, if I hadn’t of come she would of only put a cap in my ass,” Murphy joked, pointing at Warren.  
“So how does this work?” Warren snapped, not bothering with any pleasantries, “are you planning on keeping him alive?”  
Murphy’s eyebrows shot up his forehead as he whispered a ‘what the fuck?’ directed at Warren, who never even looked at him.  
Talk about straight to the point.  
“I can assure you all that it is imperative Murphy remains alive for our vaccine to be produced,” the man reassured in the most monotone voice Murphy had ever heard,  
“You are not a lab rat Mr Murphy, you are a guest to my facility. You will be treated fairly and we aim to inflict minimal pain.”  
“But there will be pain?” Murphy highlighted, feeling his heart skip a beat at the prospect.  
The man nodded,  
“We will compensate you for your sacrifice. We would prefer you to be compliant with our research, you are not a prisoner.”  
This was all sounding awfully liberal to Murphy. All a little too good to be true.  
“Really? That’s great so I could just scadoodle on my way...” Murphy suggested when he felt Warren kick him in the back of his calf.  
“It was a joke! Jesus,” Murphy scowled, his knee bending reactively to avoid receiving another kick.  
“You could leave but the world would not benefit from that,” the man stated, “but if you come with us we can work towards a solid future for humanity.”  
Murphy wobbled his head from side to side, motioning his hands to open and shut like a crabs pinchers as he childishly garbled,  
“Blah blah blah! Save the handler speech, I’m already on board.”  
The man looked towards Sun Mei with a frown to which she responded,  
“From what I can tell, he is always like this.”

“That’s our Murphy,” Addy called out from where she was standing in the truck, Z whacker in hand, “100% douchebag.”  
“I think what you’re trying to say is ‘thank you Murphy for giving up your life to save everyone! Wow, what a hero!’” Murphy’s mockery was silenced by Warren’s glare.  
He rambled when he was nervous, acted like a complete baboon in order to suppress the anxieties he was feeling.  
“Lets do this before I run for the hills,” Murphy sighed as he quickly pulled Warren into a one armed hug.  
“Look after the kid for me,” he whispered into her ear.  
She looked stunned by the sudden embrace, but soon relaxed as she tapped the butt of her gun against Murphy’s back.  
“You look after yourself,” she answered, her cheek warm against Murphy’s, “thank you for doing this the easy way.”  
Murphy withdrew before he could say something sarcastic and ruin the tenderness of the moment. He walked towards the truck with a fist raised carelessly towards Addy. She lent over the side and fist bumped Murphy in silence. They had already said enough upon their arrival, no need to drag it out longer than necessary.  
“Sun Mei, I would say it’s been a pleasure,” he said as he walked past her towards the higher ranking solider, “but it hasn’t.”  
She seemed to sneer at him, like she was already sick of him.  
As Murphy concentrated with great difficulty to put one foot in front of the other to walk to the helicopter, he saw how Warren and the solider saluted one another.  
‘Pricks are so proud of themselves,’ he thought, ‘what are they loosing in all of this?’  
He was assisted by a young man to buckle himself into his seat, the solider sitting opposite him with the faintest of smiles on his small mouth.  
“This is the start of something great,” he nodded as if he was talking to himself rather than to Murphy.  
As they rose into the air, the deafening swooshing from the blades clogged Murphy’s ears, only making him feel even more numb. Like he was having an out of body experience, his ghost leaving his slowly decaying shell as he slipped into the afterlife. He watched Warren and Addy shrink away into minuscule blurs on the ground, his brain swiftly drifting back to 10k. He closed his eyes and swallowed the coarse clump in his throat. Mentally shoving the image of bright blue eyes deep under the surface.  
He really hoped he survived this to see them in person again. Someday.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV

6 months later

10k had never felt this type of high before. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He thrived off the buzz from shooting his targets, that feeling of accomplishment that tingled throughout his body as the ammunition penetrated through the centre of a Z’s skull. He was also partial to drink or two when they were lucky enough to find any booze. He was quite happy to be submerged in that warm, merry blanket he gained after a few cans of beer. He definitely enjoyed the exhilaration he experienced when pressed up against a firm and steamy body. Those highs were ones he had come into contact with. He had never thought about trying the Z weed before. He never really saw the appeal in drugs. He knew alcohol altered your perception and, temporarily, your feelings but it seemed less harrowing than the idea of taking something that had previously been deemed an illegal substance. He never bowed to peer pressure when it had been offered to him by the others and he didn’t really understand the science behind it all despite how many times Doc had explained it all to him. Tonight was different. Floyd had been in a bedroom of an abandoned house they had been occupying the past few nights. The team feeling somewhat at a loose end after completing their years long mission, had just been travelling around searching for something to do. They often helped other survivors who were either being harassed by some of not too kind living or caught up in a situation where they had been overrun by Z’s. Everyday trying to find a signal on a usually busted radio about a cure or any sort of information. 

Nothing. 

6 dragging, excruciatingly long months of quite literally radio silence. When 10k kicked off his boots and slumped next to Floyd on the bed he laid down, watching the thick smoke as it danced lazily around the ceiling. Like a layer of clouds intricately entwining around each other as they travelled through the hot air. The weather had never corrected itself after the disaster. The sky was always dark and the air always humid and sticky. 

Damn apocalypse. 

On the rare occasion that the sun graced the living with it presence it was like a dim lightbulb at best. 10k studied Floyd’s bare back, his fingers gently tracing the outlines of the geometric deer tattoo between his shoulder blades. 

“Thought you’d be asleep,” 10k mused softly. He had been on watch for a majority of the night. He hadn’t even noticed the sun starting to rise when Warren demanded he come get some rest. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Floyd breathed on an exhale, smoke spiralling from his mouth.

“What you thinking about?” 10k asked, even though he knew Floyd wasn’t going to tell him. 

He had recently become quite closed off, less open about his emotions. Hardened by the world in the same way they all were. 

“Nothing exciting,” Floyd smiled at 10k, his hair falling in front of his bloodshot eyes, “I feel my head much clearer now. Doc gets good shit. Amazing how he finds this stuff easy but we eat dog chow for dinner.”

10k chuckled, the thought had crossed his mind several times before. He watched as Floyd’s full lips pursed around the roach of the joint. The way his cheeks hallowed as he inhaled. The burning embers startling bright against the darkness of the room. 

“You want to try?” Floyd had offered, obviously seeing 10k’s interest. 

After a few attempts that resulted in coughing fits and embarrassed laughter, 10k was finally seeing what all the fuss was about. He felt his limbs start to feel weightless, so weightless he was unsure if he could even move them if he needed to. His head was wiped from all those intrusive thoughts that plagued him religiously. Every muscle that ached, every sore on his feet had stopped hurting. He was floating on the high of relaxation and god it felt immense. 10k couldn’t remember the last tome he had felt this unbothered by anything. 

“You look so handsome when you’re not being moody,” Floyd observed, leaning on his elbow as they laid side by side.

“I’m not moody,” 10k defended even though he had the widest grin on his face.

“You are very moody ten thousand,” Floyd insisted, smiling back, finding 10k’s smile infectious.

10k acknowledged he had been difficult to be around lately. He had pushed Floyd away and pulled him back again more times than he was willing to admit. He had been angry, then incredibly depressed before finally beginning to return to his old self. He had tried not to take it out on Floyd like some emotional punching bag but despite his best efforts, Floyd always seemed to get the brunt of whatever 10k was going through. 

“I am so lucky to have you,” 10k confessed as he let a hand rest behind Floyd’s ear, twirling a strand of red hair in his fingers.

“I am glad you know this,” Floyd said playfully.

10k was suddenly overcome with the desire to kiss Floyd. He reached up so that their mouths met, he pulled him close as their tongues collided.

“You’re amazing,” 10k complimented, his heart loud inside his ears he saw a glimmer of something ignite in Floyd’s eyes. 

Floyd rolled himself so he was on top of 10k. His long legs straddling 10k’s hips as he kissed him again. 10k couldn’t get enough of him. It was though his senses were heightened as he felt himself becoming hard against his trousers. He couldn’t control his hands as they persuaded Floyd’s hips to rock, causing an arousing friction against his pelvis. It was funny, 10k thought, that he had never been so in control in his own sex life until now. He had always been the pleaser, the submissive and willing counterpart in the exchange. He was the one being held down or guided to where he was supposed to be but that had changed. He couldn’t get that same excitement with Floyd. He was too gentle, too considerate. He would never dream of laying a hand on 10k if it could potentially hurt him, so 10k had to evolve is role. 

As they broke apart to breath, Floyd started to press loving kisses along 10k’s neck, trailing down his bruised chest. As Floyd got to work on unbuckling 10k’s belt, 10k tenderly brushed Floyd’s untameable hair from his face and grasped it in his fist. The wet warmth from inside Floyd’s mouth made 10k moan with pleasure. He was struggling to contain himself as he closed his eyes to focus.

That’s when it all went strange.

‘I want you to understand that this procedure hasn’t been conducted before so it is possible it could cause pain to you and the blends.’

The voice was unrecognisable yet he could hear it clear as day. Inside his head these words ricochet on the inside of his skull like a metal ball caught in a pinball machine.

‘But there will be pain? What kinda pain we talking here? Like ‘ouch I touched an electric fence’ pain or?’

That voice was the most distinctive sound in all of 10k’s memories. His eyes flew open as he struggled to catch his breath from the pure shock.

“Murphy?” He whispered, confused and disoriented. 

He hadn’t been able to reach him through their bond at all. He had tried to reach out to him like a psychic conjuring spirits but his attempts had all failed. Now though, now he could hear him. 

“What did you just say?” Floyd snapped,

10k now aware that he had spoken aloud and that Floyd was no longer between his legs. 

As 10k attempted to sit up to explain himself his vision was obstructed by a painfully bright light. He wasn’t sure if z weed could cause you to hallucinate or something crazy because 10k could no longer see Floyd’s furious glare, only Murphy. It was as if 10k was seeing with tunnel vision. The edges of his sight were blacked out and blurred, the room he was previously in had vanished. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Murphy. Sat on a chair like he was awaiting a dentist to come and complete a routine check up, only he was shirtless and connected to a circuit board of wires. His skin was mottled. Navy blue in some patches and deep red in others, his eyes still a vivid amber. 10k watched as people pressed buttons on beeping monitors and adjusted the pads on his body that the wires were connected to. He was like a guinea pig waiting patiently for it’s next session of trial and error.

“Murphy?” 10k said again, unable to distinguish if this was reality or imaginary, only to see Murphy jolt in his seat with surprise.

“Tommy?” Murphy asked in disbelief, leaning forward in his seat to get a better look, “can you see me?”

10k nodded, unsure of what to say. 

“Holy shit kid,” Murphy cursed, his eyes flicking to the sides as if he were talking to 10k via webcam and someone else was in the room listening. 

“Are you ok?” 10k blurted, then feeling ridiculous for asking such a question when Murphy had a helmet on his head that made him look like he was about to be condemned to the electric chair.

Murphy smiled a grin so big, his eyes almost disappeared beneath his cheeks. 10k couldn’t believe how handsome he still was. Regardless of his skin resembling a snake that was shedding its skin, he looked surprisingly good. He had a shave and 10k realised this was quite possibly the first tine he had ever seen Murphy’s square chin. His hair was cut shorter and his teeth looked like they had actually seen a real toothbrush and not just some expired tooth paste that had been squeezed onto a fingertip to rub into the gums. 10k had been expecting to see the shell of the man he knew, but from the looks of things, the man he had known was actually Murphy’s shell. 

This man, although he had wires and cannula’s perturbing from most of his body parts, seemed more alive and healthy than 10k could recall. He must have been eating well, his face had filled out a bit and his ribs were not as visible at they had once been. 10k could only grimace at the thought of how rough he must of looked in comparison. After living off dog food and the canned goods they could find in already raided grocery stores, 10k’s wiry physique was looking more skeletal. Clothes hung from his frame and his belt needed a new hole made only yesterday. He couldn’t remember the last time he had enough water to bath with.

“Why are you laughing?” 10k asked with concern.

“It’s just your timing is always impeccable isn’t it?” Murphy chuckled, his eyes still glancing pass 10k.

10k frowned, not really understanding the joke but Murphy found it pretty amusing. 

“Tommy,” Murphy addressed him with a more serious tone, the smile withering slightly on his mouth, “they’re about to test something on me and I think you might feel it ok? I’m just warning you that this might sting a little.”

“Why would I feel it?” 10k asked, a little disappointed that this was the way their reunion was planning out. 

Murphy pressed his lips together tightly as he studied the apparition in front of him. It was as if he was looking at an old Polaroid, full of fondness, regrets and longing for simpler times.

“You’ll know if it works,” he said vaguely.

‘Can you see one now?’ A strangers voice asked, sounding like it was travelling through water. Muffled but 10k was able to make it out. 

‘We need to start the procedure now before he finds out where we are,’ another voice ordered in a panic.

“Murphy,” 10k called out as he witnessed gloved hands start to tug at the wires and prep machines, “Murphy what’s going on?”

Murphy’s pupils were dilated, his fingers picking at the fabric that covered the arms of the chair. He stared at 10k with pure adoration as he calmly reassured,

“It’s going to be alright kid, just remember you’re going to be alright.”

10k barely realised that the sharp point of a needle was piercing the skin next to Murphy’s heart when he was vacuumed by the darkness. Like his soul had been dragged backwards through a black hole and violently shoved back into his physical body. 

His eyes burst open for him to see he was still on the bed in the room he had been occupying with Floyd. Floyd was shouting and pacing around the room but 10k couldn’t hear him. All he could hear was a high pitched ringing, overpowering the rest of the world. 10k should have been terrified. What the hell had just happened? But he couldn’t bring himself to fly off the bed in a confused rage. He was comfortably numb. His eyes tardily tracked Floyd around the room as he ranted and raved. Why was he so angry? 

10k wanted to say something to him but it was like the muscles in his face were paralysed. He couldn’t make his lips move in the motion to make words. 

Then the pain started. The back of his neck suddenly felt like it was on fire. The skin burning against the duvet as he struggled to catch his breath. Something about 10k’s body must have looked wrong to Floyd as he stopped his heated, one sided argument to kneel by 10k on the bed. 

“10k?” He shouted, shaking 10k by his bony shoulders, “10k what’s wrong?”

10k couldn’t answer because all he could concentrate on was the feeling of someone gouging through his skin with broken glass. The pain rapidly spread towards 10k’s shoulder, the scar from his bite mark pulsating like a blistered, beating heart. He had never felt a pain quite this severe. It was worse than the bite itself, worse than being shot. He howled in agony, his brain feeling like it was starting to swell, an unearthly amount of pressure building up in his eye sockets. Why couldn’t he breath? He was practically convulsing from all the simultaneous sensations invading his body. Thrashing around, clawing at his back like he could physically tear the pain from his being. 

As quickly as it started, it stopped.

10k was swept over by a wave of pure silence. The pain had been washed away by a feeling of lightness. A feeling he had not been used to for a long time. 

“10k please talk to me,” Floyd begged, his face damp from tears as he gripped tightly onto 10k’s sweaty hands, “you freaking me out!”

It was such a mystifying sense to experience. 10k couldn’t put his finger on it exactly but he instantly knew that he was different. Like all the rocks had been removed from his pockets. The heavy, invisible cement cylinders he had been hobbling with were now smashed from around his feet. 

The cockpit of his aircraft was missing its copilot. 

Murphy was gone. 

He had not realised how enormous of a presence his bond with Murphy had been. How significant it was and how much space it took up inside 10k’s body but now it was noticeable absent. 10k felt like a infant that had been snatched away from its mother, lost and uncertain how to fend for himself. A gigantic, gaping, Murphy shaped hole left behind. 

10k was trembling as he squeezed Floyd’s hands back, his knuckles a gleaming white. He had to inhale deeply to muster the strength to say the words,

“I, I think,” he stammered quietly, “I think Murphy’s dead.”

“What?” Floyd huffed, his forehead crinkled as he wiped the beads from sweat from 10k’s face, “how do you know?”

“I can’t feel him,” 10k explained bleakly, his body aching, “he’s gone.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve decided to keep running with this story as I’ve had a few ideas. We shall see how it goes :)
> 
> Thank you all for still reading and I hope you enjoy!

10 years Later

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to LA,” Cassandra gasped playfully as they crept around the remains of a burnt out bus.   
“My Pa wasn’t big on travelling,” 10k, the man she had spent a good 5 years surviving with, explained with a casual shrug, “I only started seeing the other states when the world ended.”  
She couldn’t imagine someone who appeared as worldly and knowledgeable as 10k never going anywhere. He practically had the survivors guide to the Z apocalypse encrypted into his brain. He could transform anything into a weapon and teach anyone how to use them, yet here he was, admitting he had never been to beach.   
“Seriously, I’ve gotta take you to see some sand while we’re here,” Cassandra promised, always trying to remain optimistic and make plans for the future.   
If they didn’t have any plans what was the point in fighting to stay alive right?  
She tucked her hand gun in between her knees as she took a moment to retie her wavy, black hair into a ponytail. It was far too hot these days to leave it to swish just above her shoulders, making her neck sweat. She retrieved her gun to see 10k was smiling at her. His tall, slender body hunched over slightly to be concealed by the vehicles. His bright blue eyes twinkling as he flashed her a lopsided grin from beneath his rough stubble.   
“What you smiling at goofy?” She jested, feeling the familiar swarm of butterflies invading her otherwise empty stomach.  
Her dark brown eyes immediately retreating to her feet. She didn’t know why she always became so giddy like a school girl with the hots for her teacher around 10k. He just had this presence about him. He was confident, brave and a natural leader without being too overpowering. He was assertive, but also incredibly gentle and sensitive. He made Cassandra feel safe and secure unlike most of the other men she had the unfortunate experience of meeting during the end of the world.   
“You of course,” he informed before swiftly shuffling to move to the next car.  
The bundle of Z’s that we’re busy munching on what could of once possibly been some sort of large dog, failed to notice the pair as they moved their way around them. Cassandra had and always would be impressed with the amount of precision and accuracy 10k executed with his missions. He made it all seem so effortless.   
‘Practice makes perfect,’ he would always say humbly whenever she brought it up.   
“So after we find this air drop,” she started to say,  
“If we find this air drop,” 10k interrupted rather pessimistically.  
Cassandra rolled her doe like eyes as she decided to ignore his negativity,  
“When we find it and take it back to the others, I’m taking you to the beach. I mean it probably won’t be as nice as it was before but you’ll just have to pretend there isn’t loads of dead things around.”  
10k laughed softly, gesturing with his eyebrows for them to move forward. Once they reached the ally they were heading for, 10k pulled Cassandra close to his chest.

“I really wish you wouldn’t pin all your hopes on these air drops,” he confessed, letting his hand that wasn’t grasping his rifle run attentively along her shoulder.  
Cassandra never could fathom 10k’s disinterest in the vaccine. All anybody ever talked about for years was a cure, the hope for something more. When Citizen Z announced on his station that a trial vaccine was being air dropped around the states, people became frantic to be the first to find them. It turned people against each other more than it brought them together. That instinctive urge to survive Cassandra guessed. When the news spread that these drops were far and few between, as well as only containing 5 syringes that only made you immune for a few weeks, people became desperate. Cassandra was not opposed to finding the temporary cure. Imagine being able to walk the streets and not be afraid if only for a few hours, never mind weeks? To be able to walk into a store and grab some food without the nagging anxiety that a rotting corpse was going to jump out on you and chomp your hand off. 10k on the other hand, didn’t share this desire. He did not say as much but it was quite obvious. He was clam up and give very little input to the conversation, when usually 10k had a strategy or an idea for a plan for every occasion. Whenever anybody ever mentioned anything about the source of the vaccine or especially when campfire stories about ‘the Murphy’ arose, 10k would mutter about it all being bullshit and leave the area.   
“I just think we deserve a break,” she said earnestly, looking up at 10k where his chin met with her forehead, “I know you think it’s crap but what if it’s not?”  
10k snorted, not entirely convinced but he nodded and said no more. He kissed the top of her head as he squeezed her upper arm affectionately.  
With that, 10k started to fetch a folded piece of paper from his cargo shorts. He unfolded his map and bit down on his bottom lip as he concentrated. Cassandra loved watching him when he was focused. He was a serious person by nature, she had accepted that. He was playful and witty but for some reason he always had his guard up. He never seemed truly relaxed but Cassandra put it down to world being a gigantic train wreck. These uncertain times would make a person with nerves of steel a complete basket case.   
“So according to the coordinates Kiyah gave us the airdrop should be somewhere over here,” he concluded, pointing a grimy finger to an area on the map he had circled with chalk.   
“You don’t sound convinced?” Cassandra asked, noticing the slight dubiousness in his tone.  
“No I’m pretty sure I’m right,” he said firmly as he started to refold the map, “I’m just not sure why she was so adamant we had to come this far? Surely someone else has found it by now right?”  
Cassandra would have been a liar if she had said she had not of thought the same thing but Kiyah and Citizen Z were adamant that they were to come this way. 10k had so much trust in them, saying he had been in contact with Citizen Z for the good part of 10 years, that Cassandra found herself trusting him too. That faceless voice on the air waves gave everyone so much faith.  
“Well we will just have to find out and see won’t we?” Cassandra widened her eyes dramatically and shrugged, “we’ve come this far? Anyway maybe they thought me and you needed a honeymoon?”  
She loved seeing how this grown man would blush a violent shade of red at any mention of their relationship. Like a child who had just heard the word ‘boob’ for the first time. It just proved that her theory of a tender heart beating under all this hard exterior was actually correct.   
“Don’t we need a wedding first?” He suggest with a cheeky wink.  
Cassandra could feel her own heart pound against her chest.  
“This isn’t exactly the proposal I had planned on my dream board,” she joked, trying to cover up her initial fluster.  
“Fair enough,” he acknowledged, accompanied with an eye roll, “I’ll wait until we’re piking Z’s on our romantic walk along the beach.”  
As they started to move along their route, Cassandra thought about what it would be like to be married. She knew that marriage wasn’t necessary anymore. There was no legal documents or churches or parties. No big white dress with lace sleeves or flower arrangements but 10k had laid his life on the line to protect her more times than she could count. He had gone back for her when she was in dire trouble, helped her escape from the cult she was trapped in. He always made sure her gun had more bullets than his, that her plate had more food on it and he still told her she was beautiful even if she was smothered in Z guts with bits of skin tangled in her hair. Who needed a real wedding when she was shown real devotion everyday?

“What the fuck is this?” 10k whispered as they approached the highest fence Cassandra had ever seen.  
It was painted in thick black, anti-climb paint with a crown of gnarly barbed wire on the top. What made it so bizarre was how it was just plonked in the central area of where Skid Row would have once been. The fence seemed to go on for miles, Cassandra could feel her intestines twinge with unease.   
“It all looks a bit professional?” She admitted, searching for any sign of life other than the couple of Z’s that were gnawing against the corrugated metal fencing.   
10k hummed in agreement, his natural defence systems kicking in. His back upright, finger on the trigger and his eyes surveying his surroundings. He reminded her of the watching meerkat she saw at zoo’s, always ready to respond to danger.  
“What you wanna do?” He asked with a glint in his eye, “wanna check it out?”   
She knew he couldn’t resist the thrill as much as he knew she couldn’t say no to him.  
“Come on then Action man,” she replied as she started to walk the perimeters. They kept far enough away so that they couldn’t be easily spotted as they weaved through the surrounding buildings. 10k motioned with his hands for Cassandra to stop as something caught his eye. He put his finger to his lips and pointed towards the fence were the metal panels were missing and instead there was a chain linked fence. It almost resembled a sort of gate as a collection of padlocks adorned one side. Through the gaps, Cassandra could make out a small building, a new build, it definitely didn’t fit in with the aesthetics. Then, to her surprise, she saw a child. Cassandra had to suppress the reflex to gasp, it must have been years since she saw a living child. She was dancing around some toys, her back to them as she leaped around playfully, making her golden ringlets bounce. Her floral dress swaying around her knees, carefree and innocent in the mist of pure chaos.  
“10k...” Cassandra breathed, not even sure what she was going to say.  
He nodded, conforming he could also see the girl and it wasn’t Cassandra’s mind playing cruel tricks on her.  
10k started to approach the gate cautiously when the little girl turned almost instantly, as if she had sensed him behind her and stared at them with the most wintery, grey eyes. 10k halted, dead in his tracks, startled by how quickly the girl had noticed them.   
“You’re not supposed to be here,” the little girl informed them in her innocently high voice.   
10k opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, Cassandra presumed this was because he hadn’t much experience interacting with a child so young. She could have only been around 6 years old. Cassandra’s attention was drawn to the fact that the child had the most peculiar complexion. She was a deep shade of blue. Putting aside her shock, Cassandra crouched so she was the same height as the little girl.

“Sorry if we frightened you,” Cassandra apologised, attempting her best to sound friendly, “we’re not from around here you see and we’re a little lost.”  
The girl didn’t respond to Cassandra, she just watched them with cautious eyes.  
“What exactly is this place? Do you live here?” Cassandra tried again but this time the girl screamed.  
“Mommy! Mommy! There’s people out here!” She cried.  
“Shit,” 10k cursed, pulling Cassandra by her elbow to drag her upwards and away from the fence as a blonde woman barged her way from the little house with a shotgun in her hands.  
“Stay still or I’ll fucking shoot ya,” she threatened with look that a protective mother bear would have towards a hunter. Instinctively Cassandra’s hands flew up above her head in surrender, as did 10k’s.  
“We’re sorry Mam, we didn’t mean to cause you any trouble,” 10k explained as the woman squinted with suspicion.   
“We’ll see about that,” she challenged, flicking her long blonde plait over her shoulder, “drop your weapons now!”  
She marched towards the chain link fence with the barrel of her gun raised with intent. Cassandra found it so depressing how humans couldn’t trust each other anymore. She sighed with disappointment as she tossed her gun to the ground. 10k was much more reluctant but eventually decided to place his rifle more gently on the ground, like he was laying roses on a grave.  
“Sweetie go and fetch Daddy will ya?” The blonde woman asked her daughter who promptly sprinted back towards the house.   
“Honestly that’s not necessary,” 10k insisted, and to Cassandra’s surprise, father panicky, “we were just passing through.”  
“Look, I’m going to level with ya’ll,” the woman drawled, “you’re probably alright folk who are just passing by but I can’t take no chances. You understand?”  
Cassandra examined the woman’s curvaceous figure in her battered pair of mom jeans and her off the shoulder sweater. She looked momsy but tough. The type of woman that wanted to bake you cookies whilst smoking a cigarette and scolding you for not eating enough of your greens.   
“Look Daddy! I told you they weren’t Z’s!” The little girl squealed as she pointed towards them.  
Cassandra felt her thick eyebrows shoot upwards as she saw the man that followed the girl. His skin was almost a deep mauve, like one giant bruise. He was broad and upright, oozing authority a he marched towards the gate with narrowed brows and luminous orange eyes. Was he human? Was he a Z? Cassandra couldn’t quite tell but it would explain why the girl was resembled Smurfette.   
“I told you this fence was a bad idea,” the man with the salt and pepper hair and beard grumbled as he took his place next to woman holding them at gun point.  
“Never mind that,” she dismissed pointing her gun at Cassandra and 10k, “we got two live ones.”  
Cassandra was about to give the speech of how they were just looking for food and water, how they would just turn around and pretend they had never even seen them when the man peered his head to get a better look at 10k.  
“No fucking way,” he said in disbelief, his forehead lined with harsh creases, “Thomas? Is that you?”  
Cassandra had never seen 10k look so caught in the headlights. He was staring wide eyed and his face had paled so he looked an ashy grey. Confusion swamped her as she looked back and forth between the two men.  
“You two know each other?” Cassandra asked with a raised brow, unsure if she should be scrambling for her gun or not.  
“Remember the stories about the Murphy people would tell or you would hear on the radios?” 10k said as he gestured a hand towards the man on the other side of the gate, “that’s him.”  
Cassandra had barely believed all the rumours and fairy tale like stories of the infamous saviour that she had heard over the years. She knew how the apocalypse worked, it was one ginormous game of Chinese whispers passed between very few humans over long distances. She took all the information with a pinch of salt. 10k never indulged Cassandra with his opinion on the Murphy. 10k had never shown even a flicker of acknowledgement of the man and he actually knew the Murphy in person. He was on a first name basis with him and he never mentioned anything to her. Why wouldn’t he of told her?  
“They tell stories about me?” Murphy asked rather smugly, a pleasantly surprised grin on his face as looked towards the woman, “hear that Baby? I went viral.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k POV

10k sat around the kitchen table in a complete state of bewilderment. He was holding on to his own hands underneath the table, desperately trying to conceal the fact they were trembling. He had been wary of handing over his weapons as Serena beckoned some soldiers to unlock the gate on her behalf. That feeling of uneasiness hadn’t shifted despite buxom blonde’s hospitality. They had been escorted into the house and presented with cups of coffee. A luxury neither him or Cassandra had the pleasure of for a long time but he couldn’t produce the same gratitude that Cassandra could. 10k could barely concentrate on the conversations floating around him as he stared at the black coffee in front of him.   
“Don’t suppose you have anything stronger?” He had asked abruptly, interjecting Serena and Cassandra’s polite small talk.  
10k could feel Cassandra’s confused glare burning through his profile. He wasn’t much of a drinker, it was a sociable outlet for him and not an emotional crutch that a majority of the dystopian population leaned on. In this moment, 10k knew coffee wasn’t going to be enough to pacify his nerves. He didn’t even look towards Murphy as Serena searched through a cupboard. He could sense Murphy’s amused gaze on him without having to turn his head.   
“He thinks I don’t know that he has a secret stash,” Serena chuckled as she poured a generous glass of brown liquor, “but like I keep telling him, women know everything.”  
The minute the glass was in 10k’s reach the strong scent of whiskey hit him. He was instantly transported back in time, a twenty year old intoxicated by the same smell on Murphy’s breath as he had whispered lovingly into his ear. 10k mumbled a thank you before downing the entire glass in one go. As the empty glass clinked against the table 10k was met by Cassandra’s disapproval, her surprisingly well groomed eyebrows knitted together and her full lips slightly parted. He knew that she wouldn’t understand why he was reacting like this. He had never told a soul of his new group about his part to play in providing a cure or how he knew the truth about Murphy and his antics. He most certainly did not want to have to tell Cassandra, this beautiful, independent and charismatic woman, to that he had spent the early years of his youth being Murphy’s plaything.   
“Nothing wrong with warming your guts,” Serena smiled warmly as she poured 10k another glass.   
10k hated to admit it but she had a kind face. Her cheeks were rounded and flushed, a neat row of white teeth visible in her smile like a row of shiny pearls.   
“Can I try some Mommy?” The little girl asked sweetly as she bounced on her seat.  
“No,” Serena and Murphy both answered simultaneously in that distinctive parental tone.

10k could see traits of Murphy in the little girl as she stuck out her bottom lip and rolled her eyes.  
“I never get to do anything fun,” she huffed, slouching into her chair.   
It wasn’t just the prominent blue skin that made her obviously Murphy’s daughter, it was the way her nose slightly narrowed at the tip, the mannerisms of her sulking at being told she couldn’t have what she wanted.   
10k knew the moment the little girl looked at him who her Daddy was. A tidal wave of emotions had crashed against him. He was shocked at first, then excited at the thought that Murphy was or at least had been alive. Then he was devastated that Murphy had been alive all these years and had a child with a woman instead of trying to contact him. Now, as he dwelled on his thoughts, he was seeing red. Anger was simmering away on a slow boil in his blood stream as he kept reminding himself that he didn’t have a weapon and they were surrounded by soldiers casually pacing around the house.   
“So you guys live here?” Cassandra asked, redirecting away from 10k’s sullen stare.   
“It’s a bit of a strange set up,” Murphy admitted, as he retrieved his bottle from Serena and took a large gulp.   
10k noted the way he stood behind Serena with his hand on her hip as she looked over her shoulder, throwing him a adoring smile. 10k took another sip of his drink, scolding himself for feeling that familiar jealousy he hadn’t experienced in years.   
“Serena was one of my nurses at the base, patched me up real good after all the experimenting nonsense was done. There were plenty of people who wanted to sign up to trial the vaccines so the bosses kinda made a little community if you will,” Murphy explained.  
It was all sounding frighteningly similar to Murphytown 10k thought, but on a much larger scale.  
“He still has to go to the base for tests and the rest of us have to have regular blood tests and stuff but we’re quite lucky compared to others,” Serena insisted sincerely, “we have supplies and a roof over our daughters head, what’s the odd scan huh?”  
Cassandra continued to indulge the conversation, asking about the tests and the soldiers but 10k was struggling to care about any of that. For ten long years he thought Murphy was dead. Their bond had just vanished in the most excruciating way to then just leave him feeling like an empty soda can, his purpose fulfilled and then disposed off. No longer able to feel Murphy’s existence, 10k had mourned for a man he thought he loved. Now here Murphy was, cosy with the nurse who looked after him and a daughter, living in a safe house, completely fine. 10k couldn’t stop himself from seething with resentment. He shouldn’t have cared. He should of been, at minimum, happy to see that Murphy was still parading around in a flash jacket with a naughty wink. He should of been pleased that Murphy had finally made something of himself after being such an outsider his entire life. It shouldn’t have mattered what became of Murphy because 10k was happier without him. He was finally secure in his masculinity and the leader of a band of honourable survivors. He was in love with a wonderful woman who loved him back unconditionally. Yet upon seeing Murphy, he had reverted to his younger self, the insecure and nervous teen that was always so easily provoked by literally anything Murphy did. 

“Are you going to tell me how you know the Murphy then?” Cassandra asked 10k, snapping him from his whirlwind of thoughts.   
He froze, his mind momentarily blank, not wanting to expose his past but also not to lie to her.   
“Me and the kid go way back,” Murphy started, filling 10k’s silence, “ol’ operation bite mark are the reason I’m here in the first place.”  
“Wait?” Cassandra’s face lit up as she fitted the jigsaw together on her head, “operation bite mark? The group that Citizen Z used to talk about on the radio? You were part of getting Murphy to a base?”  
She suddenly looked deflated as she tilted her head with a genuine hint of betrayal in her chestnut eyes,  
“Why have you never told me that?”  
10k was riddled with guilt, he hated seeing Cassandra look at him like that. Like he was another man in her life that had took advantage of her and that she couldn’t trust.   
“It really wasn’t a big deal,” 10k shrugged, downplaying his role in providing the start of a vaccine. He put his glass to his lips and caught Murphy’s cat eyes watching him, his stomach dropping as if he just plummeted on the bend of a rollercoaster.   
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Murphy pressed, a knowing curl playing on the corners of his mouth, “you definitely made an impression.”  
10k suddenly felt like he was suffocating. Unable to move or say anything as he fought with his body to remember to breathe. His lungs forgetting their main purpose.   
10k noticed the pack of cigarettes discarded on the table. He gestured to the pack whilst looking at Serena, unable to look at Murphy, as he stood up.  
“Help yourself,” she said as she broke away from Murphy and started to stir something in a pot on the side.  
As 10k shakily snatched up the packet he was greeted by Cassandra’s delicate hand on his elbow.  
“Since when have you been a smoker?” She asked, concern clear in her voice.  
10k almost forgot how long it had been since he quit smoking. After Floyd, 10k realised he had never been quite as lucky at finding cigarette stashes as him, and promptly decided that he wouldn’t make it a priority to find any. Eventually the cravings subsided on their own but seeing the packet on the table while his stomach contorted itself into knots, he was overwhelmed with the desire for sweet, sweet nicotine.  
“Old habit,” he confessed vaguely before taking himself outside.  
He struggled to light the cigarette, his clammy fingers unable to get the lighter to click. The presence of stern soldiers was too off putting.  
A mulberry coloured hand produced a flame, to which 10k reluctantly accepted. He drew hard on the cigarette and was greeted by the recognisable sensation of smoke inflating his lungs. He relished it for a few precious moments before finally looking at Murphy. Despite the now slivering hair and the more purplish pigments of his skin, Murphy didn’t look exceptionally aged. He still had his hair and his teeth, his body still well built and dressed in his trademark smart shirt and trousers. 10k had never tried to imagine Murphy any older, he was already so much more defined than 10k back then that it seemed like a pointless exercise. 10k wondered if Murphy was thinking the same sort of things about him.

“You look good,” Murphy complimented, confirming 10k’s thoughts that Murphy had been watching him too. Dissecting him under his Invisible microscope.   
10k didn’t feel good. He had spend years building up this wall, this facade of a cool and collected man. He was determined to never be that vulnerable, that pathetic or dependent ever again. He had thought he had mastered that fine art of acting just upon logic alone rather than letting his feelings sway his judgement. Now that Murphy was looking at him, his head cocked to one side, a smoking cigarette hanging from those lips he once knew so well, 10k felt incredibly exposed. The protective layers he had grown being peeled away by Murphy’s intense state.  
“I’ve been working out,” 10k quipped dryly.  
Murphy laughed gently, a puff of smoke escaping his mouth.  
“I can see,” he chuckled, his eyes drawn to 10k’s muscular biceps, “you’re all grown up.”   
10k dipped his head with embarrassment as he stayed silent.  
“So I think I owe you an explanation,” Murphy sighed, the words reigniting 10k’s anger.  
“No shit,” 10k snapped, “I thought you were dead.”  
Murphy winced as he dragged his fingers through his hair.  
“They didn’t want blends,” Murphy stated with a shrug, “didn’t want one man to be able to control a whole new population of people...”  
It made sense, 10k thought, why would the government want an ex con to be able to control the entire living population as well as the dead?  
It didn’t stop it from hurting though.  
“So what?” 10k sneered, “you just forgot about me? You went and found yourself a pretty blonde and had a kid?”  
Murphy rolled his eyes, his chest puffed out in defensiveness,  
“She’s not some kid, her name is Lucy and it wasn’t like that.”  
“Please do feel free to shed some light on it then Murphy because from where I’m standing that’s exactly what it looks like,” 10k snarled as he squared up towards Murphy, his heartbreak taking control of the wheel, “you just moved on? I’m out there thinking you’ve died or something and you’re playing fucking happy families?”  
“Hey, you were with Floyd so don’t start lecturing me,” Murphy reminded, clearly trying to refrain from shouting, “and I had no idea where you was did I? I didn’t know if you were alive either! So cut the crap.”  
“You couldn’t have hopped on a radio?” 10k knew he sounded ridiculous.   
Even to his own ears he sounded petulant and whiny but he couldn’t stop. All these emotions, ten years worth that had been bottled up where now overflowing through the floodgates.  
“You think I didn’t try? Of course I tried kid...”  
“Don’t fucking call me that,” 10k barked as he threw his cigarette end.  
“What?” Murphy frowned.  
“Don’t call me kid,” 10k said between gritted teeth, he wasn’t a kid anymore and he wanted Murphy to know it. He wasn’t going to buy any tall tale he spun.   
Not anymore.  
“I don’t want to do this with you,” Murphy groaned, turning his back on 10k as he went to walk away.  
How dare he, 10k thought, how dare he act like 10k wasn’t entitled to be distraught right now.  
“Don’t turn your back on me,” 10k ordered as he shoved Murphy hard in the shoulder.  
Murphy turned to regard 10k with a look of disbelief.  
“You don’t wanna be called a kid then don’t fucking act like one! I’m trying to tell you what happened and you’re getting all pissy with me? That’s very mature,” Murphy snorted with mock amazement.  
Typical Murphy deflection technique.  
“I’ve spent years undoing the damage you did to me,” 10k blurted, surprised to hear the thoughts materialising into words, “I really thought you loved me back then you know? I had to convince myself that it wasn’t true because it hurt so bad and it turns out it actually wasn’t true? Was it?Because at the first sight of pair of tits you replaced me in a heartbeat!”  
Murphy lunged at 10k, his massive hands forcefully grabbing 10k by the shirt and slamming him against the wall. 10k tried to wrestle his way out from underneath him but Murphy was quick to restrain 10k’s wrists and pin them down so that they were awkwardly twisted by their sides.  
Murphy’s nostrils were flared, his pupils dilated as he hissed spitefully into the side of 10k’s face,  
“You think you’re a big man now huh?”  
10k could feel the muscles in his jaw tense up as he turned his face away.  
“You think cos you’ve grown some facial hair and got yourself a woman you can come to my house and talk to me like that?”  
10k breathed heavily as he attempted to kick his long legs out but Murphy was still so much stronger than him, clamping 10k’s knee still with his thighs.  
“You think this has been easy for me?” Murphy said pained, “I’ve been sliced, diced, probed, drained, you name it! And   
you’ve got the balls to tell me I just ‘moved on?’ You’re still so stupid!”  
10k stopped resisting when he heard the crack in Murphy’s voice and the looseness of Murphy’s hold on him. 10k was shaking as he struggled to catch his breath. How was it possible that Murphy still made him feel like that?   
Terrified and exhilarated all at once.   
“Look at me 10k,” Murphy commanded cooly, as if years hadn’t passed and he still had that power over his younger counterpart.   
Naturally, 10k’s wistful eyes immediately responded to their order. They stood, glaring at each other, their breathing syncing as Murphy swallowed loudly.  
“No more jerking around,” he said lowly, still not backing away to make space between them, “I actually need to ask you something. I need your help...”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy PoV

Murphy should have known that this was how the altercation was going to end. In a damp and gritty storage container, disgruntled and desperate. Murphy had originally brought 10k there to avoid any prying eyes or listening ears but as most things in Murphy’s life, nothing went according to plan. Murphy had started to divulge how he may have spoken to citizen Z and coerced him into misleading 10k to the base under the impression there was a bog standard airdrop rather than Murphy himself. Murphy had initially set out to speak to the host of the only radio station left on the planet to find any source of help. Preferably Warren if she was still around, which he was almost certain she still was, but when Citizen Z let it spill that he had been in contact with 10k, well, he just couldn’t let that opportunity slide. It was a bad idea, a cruel carrot dangling on the end of a stick for an easily tempted donkey. Murphy convinced himself that 10k would be just as competent as anyone else from the old days to help him but he would have been lying if the notion of seeing his ex lover again didn’t make the decision an easier one to make. 10k was quite clearly furious and Murphy wasn’t surprised to find that he we wasn’t going to get any further in his explanation when 10k began to pace like an agitated feline, muttering some colourful new phrases underneath his heavy breath.   
“I’ve not seen you in ten years and you’ve already started lying to me,” 10k sighed bitterly, his eyes glistening with fresh, withheld tears.  
The words cut Murphy like a switch blade knife, jagged and rough. If Citizen Z had told 10k the truth would he of came?   
‘Like fuck he would have’, Murphy thought pessimistically.   
“You just needed something from me?” 10k asked, trying to mask the disappointment in his tone with annoyance, “or I was the only one available?”  
Murphy could feel himself physically recoiling from the disheartened expression on 10k’s face. Yes he was a little older, more worry lines etched into his sharp features and a dark stubble under his chin, but it was still the same face. Still the same look of a puppy that didn’t understand why it’s malicious owner kept kicking it.  
“It wasn’t like that at all,” Murphy defended a little too quickly, “I told Citizen Z to tell you about the air drop ‘cos I thought of you knew I was here ... you wouldn’t have come at all.”  
10k’s mouth twisted like he had just been stabbed in the gut. He looked down at his feet, shaking his head, hands on his hips. Murphy had to redirect his attention somewhere else, ashamed of himself for acknowledging how attractive the matured 10k looked. His newly formed muscles bulging from the tightness of his jacket and his bottom lip trapped underneath his front teeth as he tried to contain his distress. Murphy was a father now, the pillar of a community, but he couldn’t deny that there was still this blackness that shrouded his heart whenever 10k was involved. The mere thought of him would spread a wildfire inside of him and make Murphy forget how to behave like the responsible adult he now was. He had to clench his fists and clear his throat as he regained his sense of self control. Murphy was with Serena and he was more than contented being with her. Actually, he had never realised he had the potential to be nearly a fraction as happy as he had been during the years he had with her. She was bold, brash and had all the right screws loose. She was an animal in bed, ravenous. He absolutely bloody adored her and would do anything to see that dazzling smile on her freckle dotted face, but that didn’t stop the invasion of feelings from returning when he saw 10k. 10k had practically been quivering when Murphy recognised him on the other side of that gate. His ocean eyes like a deers that were caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck barreling towards him. Murphy’s personal Pandora’s box that he had buried inside himself had sprung open like a startling jack in the box upon the sight. 

“I need you to help Lucy,” Murphy said in a hushed tone, taking a moment to assemble his thoughts, “I need to get her out of here.”  
10k looked puzzled as he began searching for a cigarette.  
“Why?” He sniffed, “looks like you got it all made here.”  
Murphy sighed, wishing 10k wasn’t clouded by his usual fog of red mist every time something didn’t go his way. Murphy always thought 10k struggled to see the bigger picture because he was so focused, lost in the finer details of just one piece of the puzzle.   
“I know it all looks hunky dory but trust me it can get pretty grim and it’s only going to get worse. Lucy is just a test tube baby to these pricks,” Murphy had to take a deep breath to contain his own anger, “she’s like me. She can make the Z’s do whatever she wants. Have tea parties, dance recitals, play horses, you name it.”  
Murphy had thought about his darling girl and her little ‘habits’ with great pain. She didn’t know any better, she didn’t know why she was different or why she should be careful. She was a 6 year old with an infinite amount of energy and an equal amount of curiosity. She was playful and kind and wanted to be everyone’s friend even when some of the other kids would tease her because she had blue skin. Nothing ever phased her though. She was tough and determined, just like her Mom and if she wanted to join in the game of hopscotch, then be damned she was going to play hopscotch. That’s what caused all the trouble in the first place. Lucy had been in inconsolably crying in Murphy’s arms, his chest saturated with her tears of remorse and confusion. He could still smell the metallic scent of the blood that was caked around her small mouth as she repeatedly apologised.  
“She bit a kid,” Murphy said somenly as he waited for 10k to signal his feelings about the information. He did nothing.  
“The top dogs have noticed that Lucy is far more powerful than I have ever been and they want to take her to the base and experiment on her.”  
Saying the words out loud made his skin prickle with protectiveness. He could stomach the odd blood test, even though his little girl cried every time, insisting it really, really did hurt. He hated to see her in a white gown under flashing machines that made her skin a luminous teal, but he knew that these experiments could go beyond simple screening techniques. They were looking for much, much more than a vaccine, that had become evidently clear to Murphy. 10k didn’t know these things. He couldn’t possibly imagine watching your own flesh and blood be pushed and pulled through machines and endless hours of ‘justified’ torture. The thought of his Lucy, a delicate, petite creature, strapped to a chair in a blacked out room whilst surrounded by Z’s she couldn’t see for days on end, just to see if they would eventually devour her, was more than his heart could take. This was a child who cried when spiders got squashed accidentally, and they were going to make her do much worse to humans. He refused to be an accessory to such inhumanity.   
“I thought you said it was just routine stuff?” 10k asked cluelessly, the cigarette smoking from his fingers.  
Murphy struggled for a minute to think of how to convey the gravity of the situation. He didn’t know how to explain it. He had endured more ‘tests’ than he could count during his time on this earth and he wasn’t going let his Lucy grow up thinking she was nothing more than a blue chimp in a sea of lab coats and clipboards. He sighed in a put out fashion, already regretting his only idea to prove his point. He started to unbutton his shirt, noticing the shocking pink that started to travel up 10k’s neck as he watched Murphy attentively. Murphy immediately found himself smirking. The timing was completely wrong and the age difference probably looked more inappropriate now than it did 10 years ago, but Murphy couldn’t help being pleased that he still had that effect on 10k. A strapping younger man in the prime of his masculinity and here he was blushing at the torso of a washed up Z hybrid.   
Murphy laughed under his breath,  
“Get your head outta the gutter Thomas.”  
10k bashfully allowed his eyes to trail upwards Murphy’s body. Murphy knew that 10k was holding back on his reaction but that didn’t stop Murphy from noticing the way 10k flinched at the sight of his bare skin. Murphy, although somewhat embarrassed, was used to pretending that he didn’t care and he honestly couldn’t blame 10k for not instantaneously pouncing on him with desire. Murphy often compared himself to Z roadkill, a comment that Serena would always scowl at and smack him around the back of the head for. His old scars on his abdomen were still there, garish and gnarly, but they were no longer such a prominent feature. He was covered in scars from incisions made by scalpels. Thick, long slices in every direction, stitched up professionally but the amount of them made him think of Frankenstein’s monster. He was just missing the bolts in his neck. He had puncture wounds wherever there was a vein, small circular scars making him look like a junkie that just couldn’t kick his habit. He also had patches of new, flesh coloured skin from where he had been burnt by god knows what equipment they had been using. That was only his chest. His entire body was like a special effect carcass from a horror movie.   
“Murphy...,” 10k gulped, the reality of why Murphy wanted his daughter away from this mess was now apparent.   
“Bet you remembered something a bit different huh?” Murphy grumbled as he started to redress himself, suddenly pissed off with how battered and old he felt.

10k’s hand reached out and caught Murphy by his elbow. Murphy watched cautiously from under his eyelids, adamant to not seem as taken aback as he was. 10k could have only been inches away, but it felt so much closer. His fingers gently applying a comforting amount of pressure on Murphy’s arm, making him loose track of his thoughts.   
“She’s just a kid,” Murphy managed to redirect himself back to the main topic, “I signed myself up for this shit but she had no choice. I won’t let them hurt her 10k, she’s my baby.”  
10k suddenly felt incredibly close, Murphy couldn’t decide if they had actually moved closer to each other or if he had been there the whole time. 10k’s hand slid from Murphy’s elbow as he went to pull away when Murphy instinctively reached out and grabbed hold of 10k’s long fingers. He was almost as surprised as 10k at the action, not sure what possessed him to do it. He just knew he wasn’t ready to loose that physical contact with him. What intrigued him more was how 10k didn’t try to pull away. He just watched as Murphy’s hand engulfed his, the way it always had done. Murphy sighed heavily as he released 10k’s hand, scolding himself for being so impulsive. What was he trying to achieve? 10k’s hand didn’t fall to his side like Murphy had expected, instead 10k took a eager step forward. He let his fingers glide along Murphy’s exposed ribs beneath the open shirt, like a pianist reconnecting with the old keys of an instrument he used to play. Murphy raised an eyebrow curiously as he studied 10k’s serious face, still yet to object.  
“What ya doing?” He asked gently, painfully aware of how sensitive he felt to the younger mans touch.   
“I don’t know,” 10k confessed shyly, his eyes not quite meeting Murphy’s, “I’m sorry I just .. I don’t know..”  
As 10k went to remove his hand Murphy took this opportunity to pull him back by his wrist. He didn’t realise how forcefully he had pulled him until their chests collided. Murphy knew, even in the most perverted crevasses of his mind, that he should let sleeping dogs lie. He didn’t need to open that big ol’ can of worms he and 10k had stashed away inside of them but he couldn’t stop feeling drawn towards his ex lover like a moth to a flame. The moth knows the flame will burn it and that the flame is as dangerous as it is enchanting and hypnotic but the moth will continue to get as close as it possibly can. The risk of experiencing pain was always worth the few moments the moth got in the fires warm, orange glow. Murphy felt the electricity from their close proximity bolt through his body. His manhood stirring at the delightful pressure it was getting from 10k’s pelvis. Murphy could feel the change in the pattern of 10k’s breathing, it was more rapid and audible than before. His pupils dilated and expecting as the looked up at him from beneath his thick, dark lashes. 10k suddenly didn’t look as if he had aged at all. Still so young and impressionable, full of wanting and willingness. Murphy growled in the back of throat as he put his free hand around 10k’s throat. His prominent Adam’s apple flexing against Murphy’s palm. Murphy hadn’t been in this much control for years. Not at this intensity. Sure, Serena was freaky and she enjoyed Murphy’s games as much as he did but it wasn’t completely genuine. The moment Serena felt pain or uncomfortable she would make it known, which Murphy respected. Serena was a strong headed and powerful woman. If she didn’t want to do something no one was going to make her do it, which was a trait that attracted Murphy to her in the first place, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same as having someone who was so compliant that they would allow you to do absolutely anything and suffer in silence. To subject themselves to things just to please you.

Murphy dug his fingertips in a little deeper, his nails quite clearly pinching 10k’s porcelain skin. 10k just tilted his chin upwards, very slightly, as his hand clung to Murphy’s forearm.  
“I really missed you,” Murphy breathed, his hips grinding slowly and rhythmically against 10k’s, “God I fucking missed you.”  
10k groaned sensually as he allowed himself to be swept up in Murphy’s hedonistic venture. Murphy couldn’t fight the gleeful smirk on his lips.   
‘Old man’s still got it’, he commended himself.   
“I missed you too,” 10k gushed before suddenly appearing alarmed by the sound of his own voice. His eyes flung open and his body went rigid with panic.  
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he stated with a trembling bottom lip.  
Murphy sighed with frustration, it was assuring to know that 10k’s moral compass still in tact but Murphy couldn’t help but find it infuriating.   
“For fuck sake kid,” Murphy rolled his eyes, “could we at least do all the self loathing shit after the fun stuff please?”  
Murphy squeezed a little harder at 10k’s neck causing 10k to inhale sharply.  
“But Serena?” 10k reminded breathlessly, “she’s basically your wife?”  
Murphy was hit by a flash of guilt. Truth was he hadn’t been in this position for a long time. He was yet to meet anyone that even came close to Serena. Yes he had turned his head to appreciate a good looking acquaintance but he never had the urge to act upon it. Not like right now, blood pulsating in a particularly tender area of his being and his heart fluttering like butterflies wings.   
“And I’m with Cassandra?” 10k reminded, “maybe we should quit while we’re ahead?”  
“That’s a terribly sensible idea,” Murphy muttered, his hands steadily releasing his grasp as he huffed with disappointment.  
“It’s not that I don’t want to..” 10k started, his own hand not moving Murphy’s waist, “it’s not about your body or anything like that... we just .. we both now that it can’t end well right?”  
Murphy had indeed thought the rejection was because he didn’t pull the same strings he once had when he didn’t have as many grey hairs or scars. Maybe he was finally too old to play the games the way he once had? Maybe 10k was too grown to want to play them? He had a woman now, a girlfriend. Why would he want to go back to being this old fools side bit? He nodded as he pushed 10k away, turning his back on him to recompose himself. If he couldn’t be the dominant lover he could sure as hell would be the sarcastic asshole 10k was used to. He lit a cigarette and channeled his inner sardonic self, cramming all those feelings back into their pandora’s box where they belonged in the first place.  
“Murphy?” 10k almost whimpered, his eyes apologetically seeking out Murphy’s, but Murphy wouldn’t look at him.  
This was all too much to bare for one day. Everything was always so freaking complicated with this guy and Murphy had forgotten how much that got on the very end of his very last, very frayed nerve. He blew the smoke from his mouth carelessly as he sneered with dissatisfaction,  
“Well, you’ve proved how noble you are Thomas but I need to know if you’re gonna help my daughter or not?”


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra POV

Cassandra knew something was wrong with 10k the moment he stepped back into the house. She had been helping Serena chop the carrots, boasting that they were the best thing they could grow from their vegetable patch, as she weaned any information from her. Cassandra promptly realised that she was attempting to milk a dry cow.   
“Honestly I don’t know much about the tests,” she had admitted in her cheery tone, “I was just clean up crew or on call incase something went wrong. It was all very need to know, you know what government officials are like.”  
Cassandra had nodded even though she didn’t really know what government officials were like, she had originally come from a suburban neighbourhood from a standard 2:2 family set up. She went to school, graduated from college, even got a job in a dental practice the week the apocalypse started. She had no reason to be involved with the government apart from when she voted for president which she only did the once. She had no ‘missions’ other than trying to survive which was how she ended up in the unfortunate situation of meeting Tobias and his cult. She shook the thought off, wondering how the same global catastrophe lead so many interconnected people down very alternative paths.   
“What about operation bite mark?” Cassandra asked as casually as she could.  
“Murphy mentioned a few names here and there, especially during his recoveries when he was drugged up to his eyeballs,” Serena chuckled sadly, remembering the pain she must have seen in her partners eyes, “he used to say names, places... nothing really useful. When they would ask him about it when he was stable he would just do what he does best and joke it off.”  
Cassandra decided if she really wanted to learn anything about 10k’s past it was going to have to come from the man himself.   
Murphy.   
Serena was quite happy to remain in the dark and 10k had become so unraveled from his usual cool demeanour she doubted he would say anything more than what would eventually turn into an argument. Murphy might just be willing? Cassandra had observed him as he walked through the grounds. People would wave to him and greet him with handshakes and pleased smiles. He appeared to be most certainly well liked and approachable. He was her most likely chance of obtaining anything useful. As Cassandra watched Murphy and 10k head back over to the house through the window she was standing by, she could see the difference in the two men. Murphy was walking with a confident stride, stopping to speak to those who passed with a twinkle in his eye and a reassuring smile, like a charming preacher at a church service. 10k looked rattled. Like a chick that had fell from it’s nest, dazed and disoriented. His usual tall stance was wilted, his shoulders hunched and his head down. His hands were tucked into his pockets making him look as if he was feeling cold despite the weather always being unbearably warm. Murphy was introducing 10k to people, placing a friendly arm across the back of 10k’s shoulders which seemed to make 10k flinch each time he did so as if he was anticipating a beating. 

Her opportunity to strike her investigation arose a few hours later. Drinks were being exchanged as the two couples sat in the lounge as guards passed by the windows on their patrols. Cassandra felt like some sort of bizarre VIP. She had finally washed herself and Serena was kind enough to give her some clean clothes, even though they were a few sizes too big, Cassandra appreciated the cleanliness of the sweatpants and non torn tank top. They had been sipping drinks from their glasses, albeit Cassandra wouldn’t have had herself down for being a beer drinker but alcohol was alcohol. She wasn’t going to protest. She almost felt as if she was in some weird protective bubble. Drinking beer, eating hot vegetable soup and curled up on a tatty couch with 10k’s arm around her shoulder like the world wasn’t a complete shitstorm just on the over side of the walls. As if their host didn’t have mauve skin and amber eyes, as if he was fully human. Cassandra had tried to steer the conversation towards operation bite mark in the hopes that their past would just roll off the men’s tongues organically but that did not happen. 10k was quick to change the conversation or Murphy would tell an amusing story to distract them, something along the lines of a giant zombie cheese wheel. Cassandra had felt the most physically comfortable that she had in weeks and yet there was something in the air that wasn’t quite subsiding. It didn’t matter how much Serena rambled or how much 10k squeezed Cassandra’s hand, something was off.   
“I’m just glad he don’t have to bite people to vaccinate them anymore that’s all I’m saying!” Serena slurred merrily as she draped herself on Murphy’s lap, her golden hair hanging centimetres from the floor, “I didn’t fancy having one of those nasty looking scars.”  
The comment snapped Cassandra from her day dreamy state as she rested her head on 10k’s shoulder.  
“You used to bite people?” Cassandra’s nose wrinkled, a sickly ripple of beer and soup slosh swirled in her stomach.   
“You make it sound like I was eating people or some shit,” Murphy snorted, his eyes darting around the room as to not make eye contact with anyone directly, “it was just a little hickey.”  
During her time with Tobias Cassandra had witnessed some of the most grotesque acts a human could commit. She watched as the leader of her newly adopted apocalypse family stuffed rags into the mouths of screaming victims and then plunged carving knives through their limbs. Claret would spurt through the air like water from a forceful yard sprinkler, the victim’s muffled screams was still the soundtrack of Cassandra’s nightmares. She could see Tobias as he would peel a piece of the freshly sliced meat from the knife with his bloody fingers, popping it into his mouth like a culinary chef that was test tasting his newest recipe. The thought of the last of the living biting each other made her heave silently in disgust. It was far too familiar territory for a woman who had once been a practising vegan in another life.   
“It’s all injections and much more sanitary now,” Murphy explained with a shrug before adding, “I mean not as much fun but hey ho.”   
Cassandra was sure she caught Murphy slip a subtle wink in 10k’s direction but the conversation had moved too quickly for her to establish if she had actually seen what she thought she had.  
“You’re a bad man Alvin,” Serena snorted, slapping Murphy on his thigh.  
Maybe he had winked at 10k as a joke? Maybe Serena saw it too?   
Cassandra side glanced 10k who was stiff as a board next to her. His face seemed pale and his smile was stretched and false.   
“You ok baby?” She asked, wondering where he had ventured off to inside that busy mind of his.   
“Just tired,” he kissed her affectionately on the forehead, his smile having a more natural curve to it.  
“The room I showed you guys earlier is yours,” Serena informed them before sitting upright and grabbing her bottle off the floor, “Come, I’m sure we’ve got some spare blankets for you little love birds.”  
Cassandra cringed like an embarrassed teenager being caught holding hands with her crush by an eccentric auntie.   
“Thank you,” 10k replied but before he knew it, Serena was pulling him up clumsily by his shirt.  
Cassandra giggled at how intimated 10k looked by this older woman drunkenly dragging him to the doorway.  
“I need a young man to help me!” She gave Cassandra an exaggerated wink.   
10k flushed a violent pink as he was pushed up the stairs.  
“Looks like we’ve been replaced,” Cassandra joked to Murphy who was watching with an entertained smile.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been traded in for a younger model,” Murphy muttered as he swigged his beer.  
Cassandra suddenly felt incredibly awkward as a stifling silence grew between them. She realised that Murphy possessed a rather dominant aura. He was slightly slouched into the corner of the couch, his knees apart and one arm outstretched across the back of the cushions, the other resting on the arm. It was hardly a commanding position but he reminded her of a cocky king lazing around on his throne. Cassandra could hear the sounds of Serena and 10k walking above them and decided it was now or never to ask Murphy. Only she didn’t know where to start and the more she looked at the older man, she saw less of the friendly neighbourhood veteran and more of ... well, something else.   
“You’re awfully quiet,” Murphy observed with a questioning look, “but the wheels are most definitely turning in that pretty little head of yours. Spill.”  
Cassandra sighed, annoyed that her over expressive face always gave away her thoughts.   
“10k never told me he knew you, not once,” Cassandra started, looking into the rim of her beer bottle so she didn’t have to look at Murphy, “I just feel that he’s not telling me something? Why wouldn’t he of said that he was apart of operation bite mark? That’s huge!”  
Murphy shuffled in his seat, his face in a tight grimace.   
“Did something happen to him?” Cassandra prompted, her anxiety rising the more the mystery thickened.   
“If he hasn’t told you then it’s probably for a good reason,” Murphy said softly, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.  
“But there is something to tell?” Cassandra pressed onwards, adamant to gain something to work with.  
Murphy chortled with amusement, but he didn’t look like he was finding anything funny, his hands dragging through his silvery hair as he leaned forward making Cassandra subconsciously push herself against the back of the couch.   
“I see why the kid likes you I really do,” he told her, “why wouldn’t he? You’re beautiful! You’re clearly one of the sharper knives in the drawer and your like a dog with a bone. Determined and feisty! Just what he needed truth be told.”  
Cassandra decided to take this as a compliment, however Murphy seemed agitated by the end of his praise.   
“Thank you,” she accepted as she watched how Murphy opened another bottle with his teeth. The hissing from the air being released the only sound in the room.   
“But you’re asking a lot of questions I doubt you’ll like the answers to,” Murphy’s tone had changed, it wasn’t a friendly attempt at reassurance. His eyes had darkened and his brows turned inwards, his mouth caught in a aggressive looking sneer.  
“If I were you, I’d just be happy with what 10k has said and mind your own damn business,” he advised coldly.  
Cassandra could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She felt like scorned child as Murphy stood up from his seat.  
She clammed her mouth shut, preventing herself from saying anything that could further irritate him. She wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. She wasn’t someone who was easily shouted down or frightened to defend herself and yet, there was something about the way Murphy just switched that had rung the loud alarm bells in her head to do the smart thing and shut up. She stared down at at her hands, focusing on her knuckles that were pulled tight under her bruised skin. Concentrating on her nails that were far too long and blackened from the filth beneath them as she listened to Murphy’s footfall as he left the room without another word. Cassandra sighed with disappointment before chugging her drink and going up the stairs to find 10k. 

She had initially planned to have it out with him. Ask him outright what he was playing at and why he was being so secretive? Why had he lied to her? Ok, so he hadn’t exactly lied, but he had been deceitful and withheld truthful information. That was still lying in Cassandra’s books. She hadn’t been expecting the greeting she received when she walked into their little room for the night. 10k had pulled her into the deepest embrace. His fingers twirling in the loose strands of her hair as he kissed her deeply. All the questions and confusion she was holding onto were slowly melting away like ice in the warm palm of a hand as she moulded into his tall frame. As he lowered her lovingly onto the bed Cassandra could barely focus on the feeling of an actual mattress under her or the warmth of sheets that didn’t smell stale. She could just feel 10k’s hands upon her now bare thighs and his lips as they caressed along her breast bone. She loved him with her entire being, her body was the bandaid to his open wound. Why was she getting so hung up over this Murphy thing? Maybe he was right, maybe she should just leave the past in the past? She gasped as 10k thrusted into her, her ankles tying together around 10k’s waist like a decorative bow. Cassandra let one of her hands slide from where she had been holding onto the back of 10k’s hair and down to the nape of his neck. She could feel the lumpy scar tissue under her fingers. Despite the distracting and pleasurable feeling between her legs, Cassandra couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the strange bite marks on her boyfriends muscular back. Her other hand felt underneath 10k’s shirt where she touched the second scar. 10k steadily redirected Cassandra’s inquisitive hands towards his waist but she instinctively just went straight back to the scars. She had never asked him how he had gotten them? How had she never noticed they were so crooked and rounded? Like a bite.  
“What you doing Cas?” 10k breathed heavily, his movement seizing and his eyes squinted.   
“Did you ever tell me how you got these marks?” She asked as she tenderly traced their outlines with her finger tips.   
“You wanna do an inventory of my scars right now?” 10k chuckled in confusion, resting on his elbows to stop himself from collapsing on top of her.  
“No,” Cassandra agreed before saying, “just these two.”  
10k licked his lips and his eyes darted towards the ceiling. He was thinking of a lie, Cassandra thought. He was taking far too long to respond.  
“Now is really not the time babe,” he started as he gestured towards where their body’s were connected so intimately, but this dismissive answer was enough to ruin Cassandra’s mood.   
“What are you hiding from me 10?” She snapped abruptly, officially transitioned from horny to pissed off.   
“Are you kidding me?” 10k scoffed, “they’re the same bites you’ve seen before? Why are they so important now?”  
Bites.  
He said bites.   
Cassandra scrambled her way out from underneath him and started to get dressed in a dazed fashion. She could hear 10k talking to her but the words weren’t going in. All she could hear was the ominous whirlwind of the days events. The echo of Serena’s knife as it hit the chopping board.  
‘He used to say names, places...’  
The way 10k had flinched when Murphy reached out towards him.  
‘I’m so glad he doesn’t have to bite people...’  
‘Nasty looking scars..’  
‘It’s not as much fun but hey ho...’  
The way Murphy had most definitely winked at 10k who was frozen in his seat.  
‘Mind your own damn business...’  
It all went silent in her mind as the penny finally dropped.   
“Cassandra? Why are you looking at me like that?” 10k asked, his face crumpled with worry as he struggled to do up his flies.  
“You’re a blend,” she blurted, feeling like a complete moron that it took her so long to connect the ‘oh so obvious’ dots,   
“holy fuck! You’re one of Murphy’s blends!”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 POV

10k was perched on a stack of wooden slats with a cigarette in his hand and a pounding headache that pulsated inside his skull like a misplaced heartbeat. The morning was young, the skyline wasn’t easily recognisable. The buildings all blurred together into a block of an opaque silhouette and what should have been a tangerine sunrise was more like a dim glow from a dying bone fire. It was still beautiful to 10k. The fact he was able to see yet another sunrise in all these years of dodging death was a small blessing he felt privileged enough to still experience. There were no birds chirping this far into the city, just the relentless groaning and shuffling sounds of Z’s prowling along the outskirts of the compound. He sat there motionless as he listened to them for a while. The new normal. He was exhausted. He couldn’t sleep after what had happened with Cassandra. She had been furious with him. He had told her everything. About saving Doc that day on the roof, following Warren’s orders and how he and Addy has been like separated twins. He told her about getting Murphy to California, about how much they went through. He told her about getting shot and how Murphy had bit him in a careless attempt to save his life. He told her about Murphytown and the mind control, about the earthquakes and the rift. He told her how Murphy went to the base and how they had separated him from the blends somehow. How he thought he felt like he was dying...  
He tried to explain it all to her in a way that made her understand, made her get why he hadn’t wanted to talk about it. He had been no more than a naive and foolish kid who had watched his entire world rot to its core with everyone he loved dying on upon it. He didn’t, however, tell her how close he and Murphy had actually been. Still could have been, if he hadn’t of come to his senses yesterday in the container. He had wanted to be honest with her, get all his soiled and blood stained laundry out into the open air but he just couldn’t get the words to come out.  
‘He’s my ex, just say it! It’s three words 10k! Just say it,’ he had thought but that’s all it was. A thought. He couldn’t manage to materialise them into a actual living words. He didn’t know what he was so afraid of. Cassandra was an open, non-judgemental type of woman. Liberal in her beliefs and understanding of how the apocalypse warped people into someone different from who they may have been destined to be. She wasn’t the type to be bothered by the fact he had been with a man, or several. He couldn’t imagine her having any prejudices towards those sorts of things. She might have raised an eyebrow when she realised the nearly twenty year age gap between them, she most likely might have been uncomfortable or even jealous at the thought of Murphy having been inside 10k in every possible way. Physically and mentally, but he couldn’t see her holding it against him. She had always advocated that people could change, after all she did and she had partaken in some questionable survival techniques.  
So why didn’t he just tell her?  
“Is that everything?” She had huffed, looking drained and deflated.  
When he proceeded to tell her that Murphy wanted them to help plot Lucy’s escape, he felt like he had drove the last nail in the coffin.  
She didn’t even look surprised.  
“I want to go to bed,” she said as she curled up in a ball, her back facing him.  
Maybe he just couldn’t face disappointing her again?

No. He knew that was just to make himself feel better. The real reason was because he was a chicken shit. A cowardly, shameful bastard that couldn’t just be honest with the one person who loved him for who he was. Who he had become. Who he was trying to be. He inhaled sharply, why was love so hard? Everyone he got close to ended up in the most miserable situations. He’s parents were both dead and Murphy had inevitably ended up in a lab hooked to machines because of him. Addy was lost, Warren was heartbroken and Doc was on his last legs living in the mountains with nothing but his hallucinations to keep him company. Nixon had died within hours of seeing him again. Floyd...  
10k had to swallow hard at the thought of the tattooed boy with the fiery red curls. Floyd’s death was far more harrowing to 10k than just being eaten by Z’s.  
Z’s were just a new risk of daily living. Getting bit by a Z had become as likely a death as a car crash or an overdose. It was always sad and horrific but it was just something that happened. Floyd’s death was a slow, gradual and painful process. Cancerous. He had become so frail and weak, his cheeks hollow to the extent that his skin looked like it was just thin sheet pulled tightly over a muscleless skeleton. To think that dying like that was once considered so normal. People got cancer all the time. There were hospitals full of people with the wretched disease and somehow it got completely disregarded when the Z’s appeared. It was like dying of a natural cause was the most unnatural thing. No chemotherapy, no painkillers, no check ups or ludicrous healthcare fee’s that people couldn’t afford. It was nature in its most brutal form. If the Z’s didn’t take you, the universe would find a way. Floyd had been so young, so full of energy and life. It should have been 10k that withered away into the earth, not a ray of light like Floyd. After everything 10k had put him through and it was still Floyd that suffered some more. Putting the bullet into Floyd’s head had been one of the worst moments of his life.  
He thought about how Cassandra had found him hanging over a poorly secured balcony not so long after. Dangling over a pack of flesh craving Z’s like a piece of steak to a pride of lions. How he wished she would have just let him fall. It would have prevented all this future disaster. Cassandra was no doubt going to find out he had lied to her again and Murphy ... Murphy.  
He closed his eyes and he swore he could still sense Murphy’s hand around his throat. How he had wanted to give in to his primal desires and allow himself to be treated so badly. To feel Murphy’s belligerent touch as he whispered churlish phrases into 10k’s ear. To finally fill the empty abyss that had been haunting him since their bond was shattered. He rubbed his eyes harshly as he tried to get a grip on reality. He couldn’t be getting involved in all that again. Murphy would no doubt bite him again, in a hot headed temper or in the deepest throws of his orgasm, and 10k would be back at square one. Practically back on the boat as they fled California, a love struck teenager with another rugged scar. That would put Cassandra in so much danger. He wouldn’t ever want to do anything to jeopardise her safety above all things. He also never wanted her to feel the way Floyd had. When Floyd had been dying, his gaunt head resting on 10k’s lap under the stars in a nameless forest, his feeble body incapacitated and unable to move more than a few steps before loosing his breath. He had laid there and confessed that he knew he was never really who 10k wanted. He apologised for becoming a burden, for always being a burden and not being the real man 10k always seemed to attract. Of course 10k denied this and it wasn’t a lie, he did love Floyd. If the end of the world did anything it proved to him that there are so many different forms of love and that love is much more complex than fairytales or sitcoms would have you believe. Floyd had delicately kissed 10k’s fingers as he smiled with a certainty.  
“It is ok for me to be second best,” he had told him in his hoarse voice, “at least I was something.”  
10k remembered how sick that had made him feel. To think that they had spent years together and Floyd only ever saw himself as a means to an end for 10k. There was nothing 10k could ever say to change Floyd’s mind on that. Murphy was and always would be 10k’s number one. 10k didn’t want to imagine Cassandra experiencing that type of minimal self worth, comparing herself to an asshole like Murphy. He didn’t want to be the reason for another persons heartbreak ever again. 

He watched as the sun finally managed to peek above the buildings and found himself feeling ridiculous for being so consumed by his love life that he was forgetting the real issue here. Was he going to embark on another mission? Was he up to the task of smuggling a child out of a military camp? And not just any child, a Z/human hybrid who could control the dead and be another potential cure? Murphy’s daughter.  
Christ that was weird thought.  
If he agreed he would be signing himself up willingly to most likely living out the rest of his days on the run. He would be constantly hiding and fighting, dragging everyone one he came into contact with along for the ride. He would be ending his somewhat more comfortable existence to live like an outlaw. A wanted criminal. Did he still have that type energy left in him? Why was everything to do with Murphy such a life or death showdown? He behaved like he was such a simple man. Cigarettes, whiskey and a good time and he was as happy as a pig in shit but that wasn’t ever really the case.  
10k finally decided it was time to retreat back inside when he noticed some of the patrolling soldiers looking in his direction. They looked him over with suspicious eyes as they marched passed him with their guns in their hands. That triggered a knee jerk reaction of panic. He would need his rifle back. He still had his faithful old slingshot tucked into his sock but he doubted that he would get far with that against five military trained guards with automatic weapons. Just as he started to hatch a rescue plan for his beloved rifle he was startled by a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the unexpected contact, shocked to see Serena smiling at him with a cup of something on her hand. Her hair was loose and wild down her back, her body covered by a loose fitting dress that had dangling beads that jingled around her ankles. She was a pretty woman, 10k had to admit. The way she had a natural glow to her freckly skin and her eyes were always bright with this optimistic gleam.  
“I’m so sorry he’s put you in this position,” she whispered softly, taking two cigarettes from her packet and passing him one.  
10k wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond. Had Murphy told Serena his plan?  
“It’s ok, you don’t have to look so flabbergasted,” she confirmed, perching herself next to him on the pile of wood, “I knew he was planning something the sneaky bastard.”  
10k’s could feel his heart skip a beat, the air in his chest evaporating.  
“What?” He giggled anxiously as he lit his cigarette, not caring that he had only just finished one.  
Serena exhaled loudly, her blonde brows raised and her elbow gently pressing against his.  
“So it’s just a coincidence that you two happen to know each other from the beginning and show up at the same time Alvin has been talking about getting Lucy out of here?” She asked with a ‘yeah right’ tone.  
10k didn’t say anything. She obviously thought 10k knew why he had come here, she thought that he was in on the plan all along and not that Murphy led him there under false pretences.  
“I’m really fucking scared,” Serena admitted, her eyes looking longingly off into the distance, her plump cheeks shimmering from the residue of wiped tears, “If we go people are going to be chasing her, hunting her like some sorta animal out of it’s cage, but if she stays ...”  
10k was never really a touchy feely sort of person. It always felt like a tremendous effort for him to initiate physical comfort, especially to people he barely knew, but for some reason there was this pleasantness about Serena that made 10k feel he ought to try. He placed his hand on her forearm and nodded, affirmation that he was listening to her.  
“If you knew what they did to him,” she insisted with pity, “I never let him know that I saw him in some of the states he came back to his room in. He’d be mortified bless him, such a proud old fool. They really messed around with him. Taking chunks and fiddling with his noggin’.”

10k could feel Serena shivering under his palm even though she was clearly sweating around her hairline.  
“They left him to starve once,” she recalled, “left him for nearly two whole months before he cracked and tore apart this young guard ... my god did that fuck him up. I don’t want my baby having to do anything like that. She’s just a little girl you know? She don’t know no better.”  
10k’s stomach had pranged painfully as he imagined Murphy, shouting and cursing at all the doctors for making him do it, a concoction of tears and blood drenching his beard as he continued to chew ravenously on a mouthful of raw meat. He then thought about the sweet little girl with the blonde pigtails and blue skin being forced into the same situation. His heart nearly squirmed up his throat to escape the image. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing he walked away from a child that was destined for torture.  
“I told him not to involve other folk, told him it would get messy but if I’m being truthful with ya, I’m starting to think you might be our best chance,” Serena admitted, she rested her head on his shoulder like they had been friends for years.  
“I don’t have a plan,” 10k confessed rather sheepishly, he very rarely wasn’t equipped with a plan.  
“Murphy trusts you, so I trust you,” Serena said with confidence.  
10k felt like such an imposter. This woman saw him as some sort of a hero who selflessly wanted to help them, when all he really wanted to do was make a run for the hills. He didn’t want anything to do with this. It had been ten years since he had to bother with any of Murphy’s ‘saviour of the world’ baggage and he never had any intention of being involved with it ever again.  
“Mommy? Mommy!” A little voice called out from inside the house making Serena swiftly chuck her cigarette and stand up.  
“I’m being summoned,” she chuckled, excusing herself as she went back inside.  
10k sat there numbly.  
He let his head fall into his hands, his fingers pulling agitatedly at the knots in his hair. He grumbled a sound that resembled more of a pained growl.  
“Fuck,” he cursed, “fuck.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy POV

Murphy wasn’t entirely sure what had happened in the past two days to anger the woman, but he knew that the olive skinned vixen that 10k was companioning with had certainly gained a frosty attitude towards him. He had greeted her with the same smile he gave to everyone that didn’t know how much Murphy had to force it, like he needed pins to hold the upturned edges in place. The woman had creased her nose like she could smell something foul and rotting before storming pass him. She hadn’t asked him anymore invasive questions or even looked in his general direction unless it was with aversion. Murphy bit down on his tongue so hard to not snap at her. How dare she behave like that in his home, under his word for protection from the the guards that protected him and his family, after she came here practically hanging off his 10k like an extra appendage. That was the problem though and Murphy knew it. He still thought of 10k as his property. His 10k. When in reality he hadn’t been for a very long tome. He had been Cassandra’s 10k and whoever else’s before her. Murphy was finding this notion a difficult one to adjust to. He kept offering him cigarettes, drinks, taking any given opportunity to put his hand on 10k’s shoulder, the curve in the small of his back. He couldn’t resist it. That ownership Murphy had always craved was clearly still inside of him. Most likely never left, just laid dormant like a festering volcano waiting patiently for its time to erupt. He found himself always wanting to know where 10k was, what he was doing... he made it sound as if he was just worrying about the plan, which of course he was, but he would be a sinner to try and convince himself that was all it was about. Every time he saw Cassandra lean her head into 10k’s chest or her fingers would affectionately brush the back of his neck as she walked by him, Murphy had to stop himself from breaking her fingers. He was distracted from his thoughts when Lucy jumped onto his lap.   
“Woah kid you’re getting too big for all this climbing business,” he laughed, sitting her upright as she giggled playfully.  
“Daddy I think when I’m older I want to be a singer,” she informed him, her little face wearing a very serious expression.  
“A singer? Why’s that?” He asked her with a smile, terrified to even think how Lucy would probably never even need to think about choosing a profession in this world.   
“Cassandra said I’m a really good singer, I sang her my song about the bird and she said I was great,” she beamed with pride, “do you think I’m great?”  
Murphy felt the icicles melting from around his frosty heart, her warm honey coloured eyes boring into his with expectation.   
“No I don’t think you’re great,” he said with a teasing grin, Lucy’s bottom lip about to pultrude with disappointment, “ I think you’re absolutely fracking amazing!”  
He tickled her, laughing at her giggly squeals as she squirmed to get away from him.  
“Daddy you’re so silly!” She told him, panting for breath as he admired how perfect she was.   
Parenting wasn’t easy. Before the Z’s Murphy was never really sold on the idea of miniature versions of himself taking over his whole life but he now he had his very own little firecracker, he appreciated that he definitely underestimated the amount of effort and energy that went into raising a child. She could be stroppy, defiant and well, kids were just sometimes damn outright annoying, but he loved her more and more with every day that passed. Every milestone she reached he would practically burst with pride and it didn’t matter how small the achievement was. Every joke she learnt he laughed at, even if he had heard it for the billionth time. It was a type of love that came surprisingly naturally to him. Maybe it was because he knew what it felt like to be abandoned by a loveless father? To feel that even your existence alone, an existence you got no choice in, wasn’t enough to make your parent want to behave better was soul destroying and he never wanted to inflict that kind of self loathing on his girl. 

“Me?” Murphy asked in a goofy voice as he crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue juvenilely, “nothing silly about this Daddy.”   
Lucy’s girlish chortle as she flung her soundly arms around Murphy’s neck made everything shot in his life worth it. Everything that had ever happened to him or the entire god forsaken planet was totally worth it.   
The sound of someone clearing their throat distracted both Murphy and Lucy from their childish antics. 10k was slouched against the door frame, smiling softly like this was the first time he had ever seen a father and his child at play. Then Murphy remembered it probably was the first time in forever 10k had been around that kind of infectious joy.   
“Mr 10k!” Lucy addressed him, clumsily sliding from Murphy’s lap and bounding towards the tall man and wrapping her arms around where she just reached his knees.  
“Oh no,” Murphy snorted playfully, “have you two been ganging up on me?”  
Lucy’s smile was beaming from both ears as she proudly announced,  
“Mr 10k showed me how to knock cans over with a .... a... what was that thingy called?”  
10k looked down at her like an awkwardly leaning giraffe, his smile still in tact,  
“A slingshot.”  
“A slingshot Daddy! It’s really hard but Mr 10k is going to teach me!” Lucy informed him gleefully, clearly enjoying all the extra attention she was receiving from their guests.   
Murphy’s eyebrows travelled up his forehead as he stared at 10k,  
“What a smart idea to teach a six year old how to use a weapon!” His sing song voice secretly scolding a bemused looking 10k.  
“I knew how to take apart, clean and reassemble my guns by the tome I was eight?” 10k justified as if that was a normal sentence.   
Maybe if he had been born now that would be the case, survival was key, but to be born and raised pre Z, that was a pretty abnormal upbringing.  
“And you turned out just fine didn’t ya kid?” Murphy chuckled as he rose to his feet.   
Already feeling drawn towards 10k who was shaking his head but still smiling.  
“Your Pa must have not of been worried about you blowing his legs off during a tantrum over not finding Barbies head,” he popped his eyes downwards in Lucy’s direction who was now bored of the conversation and had started dancing off into the other room.   
10k didn’t retreat as Murphy leant on the other side of the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest, a gamesome grin on his mouth. He liked it when 10k didn’t back away.   
“I didn’t play with barbies,” 10k defended, his crystal blue eyes watching Murphy’s stance as discreetly as he could but Murphy saw it.   
“Oh yeah that’s right, you were too busy dissecting dead animals,” Murphy teased with a snigger, noticing the way 10k’s breathing had changed.   
He rolled his eyes at Murphy and wouldn’t look directly at him for a moment. Murphy would never understand what it was 10k found so appealing about him. 10k had always been terribly bad at hiding his attraction to Murphy. He was so painfully obvious when he was younger, he blushed easily and would stammer his words. Even now, looking at a matured version, he still couldn’t look directly at Murphy and Murphy could het high off that feeling. It was what made 10k so enticing.  
“While we’re on the subject,” 10k started, now able to compose himself enough to look at him.  
“What? Of dead cats?” Murphy jested making 10k tut.   
“Of weapons,” he insisted, “I need to get my rifle back if were gonna do this.”  
Murphy’s heart jolted.  
“You’re gonna help us?” He whispered, thanking whatever greater force that had worked it’s magic on 10k’s conscience.  
“Cassandra wants to help Lucy,” 10k said, making Murphy cringe with the ludicrousness of it.  
“Had to get permission did ya?” He almost snarled.   
10k dipped his head down and sighed,  
“You should be grateful she’s a good person. I had to tell her everything or she wouldn’t have helped at all. I wasn’t going to put you first Murphy.”  
Murphy nodded, his ego stinging slightly but he was willing to swallow his pride if it meant getting Lucy away from these people.  
“I am grateful, you’ll never know how much,” Murphy wanted to show him how much.  
Wanted to throw his arms around him and kiss him until neither of them had no more oxygen left to keep going.   
“So, how do we go about getting my gun?”

Murphy had taken 10k to where he knew all the confiscated items were housed. Another container, much larger than the other one, painted in the same anti climb paint the walls were.   
“Right, I know the guard that mans the front of this place, he’s a talker so I’m thinking you keep him busy and I’ll sneak in and grab everything?” Murphy suggested, knowing it wasn’t much of a detailed idea and already awaiting 10k’s protests.  
“What? Why don’t you talk to him?” 10k asked, clearly dreading the thought of speaking to a stranger more than the idea of stealing from one.  
“A nice young thing like you!” Murphy winked as he nodded towards the door, “trust me you’re his type, he will be easily distracted!”  
10k had one brow raised as he glared at Murphy,  
“How do you know I’m his type?”  
Murphy thought about his brief yet intimate encounter with ‘GI George’ and had to stop himself from laughing. It had been back in the early days, a willing body was a willing body right? He must have given himself away as 10k frowned and huffed in disbelief.  
“Seriously?” He groaned, looking more than unimpressed.  
Murphy shrugged his shoulders.   
‘Because he’s the Virgin Mary over there,’ Murphy thought snidely.  
“Well since you two know each other already wouldn’t it make more sense for you to go and talk to him and me sneak in?” 10k argued.  
Murphy chuckled as he shook his head,  
“Trust me on this, he isn’t going to want to talk to me for very long, it all got a bit... messy, but you!” Murphy motioned his hands as though he was showing off an art exhibition, “you’re going to hold his attention long enough for me to grab your ‘oh so precious’ rifle. Comprendé?”   
10k was seething silently as Murphy patted him firmly on the bicep,  
“Good boy, lets do this.”   
Murphy walked off first, hoping his plan was going to be enough. He knew George was a flirt and a sucker for some pretty young thing that was bored enough to pay him some attention. He wasn’t an overly attractive man, early 40’s, starting to go grey and only in good shape from all his years in the military. Murphy could easily picture him on the sofa with a crate of beer by his feet as he watched old reruns on a crappy TV set. He was your basic middle aged man, with basic needs. Not exactly exciting but essentially harmless.   
“Get him to follow you away from the side door and I’ll..”  
Before Murphy even got to finish 10k nearly choked on his words,  
“How exactly do you expect me to do that?”  
Murphy turned to see 10k, flustered and nervous and just smiled with fondness.  
“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he reassured vaguely with a cheeky wink.   
Truth was he had no idea what he was expecting 10k to do, he just needed him to think in his feet for long enough. 

Murphy hadn’t expected the whole distraction plan to go as well as it did. In fact it went more than well, it actually worked. Murphy had hung around by the door 10k had purposely left ajar waiting for a signal that the close was clear. He could hear 10k talking, at first it seemed a little garbled and low for Murphy to actually know anything that was being said. Whatever it was George lapped it up, just like Murphy knew he would. Murphy always hated how 10k could never see how alluring he was. He was so coy and kittenish on the outside but Murphy knew if you quite literally scratched beneath the surface there was this immodest panther ready to pounce. Mr ‘innocent’ was biting his bottom lip and letting his pianist fingers glide over the top of George’s sausage like hands. Murphy watched patiently until he saw George back 10k into the farthest corner, 10k was smiling coquettishly as his hand slid around George’s waist. Murphy must have been watching with a stern gaze as 10k’s eyes met his from over George’s square shoulder. His eyes bulged from his face with an urgency making Murphy remember what he was supposed to be doing. He shimmied his way through the gap and slid through the unmanned side door. He was actually overwhelmed with the amount of armoury that was stashed into the small space. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be grabbing. It didn’t help that all he could think about was the way George’s undeserving hands were feeling 10k’s slinky hips, that 10k would be using that simpering voice that made him sound as dangerous as a fluffy bunny. Murphy had to take a deep breath.  
“Concentrate you old fool,” he scorned himself quietly as he started to rummage through the weapons.  
He tucked a few loaded handguns into waistband and pick pocketed a few cases of amo, presuming they would be the right ones. When he saw a line of rifles leaning up against the wall he groaned. They all looked the bloody same to him and he knew the bollocking he would receive if he left with the wrong one. He had seen that damned gun in those hands so many times and he couldn’t remember anything that would make it distinguishable from the rest. Then he saw the red thread that was stitched along the strapping of one with a large scope attached to it. Something felt familiar about that handy work. He could almost picture a young man sitting around a campfire with a needle and thread trying to repair the wear and tear with a focused frown and a pout. That had to be it. He snatched the rifle and collected a pack of cigarettes that had been left on the table as he went to exit.   
Finders keepers and all that.  
He peeked his head around the door to see 10k was still backed into the corner. He was still fully clothed, which Murphy was eternally grateful for, but George was doing a number on 10k’s neck. 10k’s eyes lit up when he saw Murphy, clearly over the moon that this would be over soon. He narrowed his eyes from Murphy to the other door, expressing the gravity of his situation. Murphy wanted to raise the rifle and blow George’s simpleton brain all over the ceiling. 10k’s neck was something that Murphy always appreciated like a fine wine or a carefully sculpted piece of art. It wasn’t a chew toy for a mutt to sink it’s dirty teeth into. 10k pulled a face that suggested for Murphy to hurry the hell up and go. Murphy shook his head, still twitching with jealousy as he tip toed back out of the building. He checked to see if there were any soldiers around before sprinting back to the house to stash his stolen goods. All the time imagining one hundred ways to extract George’s tongue from his head.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k’s POV

10k managed to slither his way from underneath George’s sloppy kisses. His entire body feeling itchy and disgusting from the encounter. The moment he saw Murphy with his rifle in his hands, glaring at him like some deranged predator, 10k had been desperate to leave. He needed to clean his mouth, his neck, god his neck was slimy with George’s excessive saliva. Who taught him how to kiss like that? Like a washing machine that was foaming and whirling chaotically on it’s lay cycle. Not that 10k was a born expert or anything but he had never had a kiss that... wet...  
10k shivered with repulsion.  
He made his excuses, saying he had promised he would help Serena with preparing the log fire and he didn’t want to let her down. George seemed to like this, he admired a man who stuck to his word. Poor bastard had no idea he’d been robbed blind whilst on his post. 10k made a false promise of returning tomorrow before dashing out the door. The moment he was far enough away he spat on the ground, the taste of the man still in his mouth. His hands clawed at his throat as he tried to dry his reddened skin. The whole ordeal made him empathise with Cassandra’s past so much more than he originally had. When she had disclosed to him how she was forced to lure unsuspecting men into filthy trailers under the illusion of sex. How far she would actually have to go before the people she was with would burst in and attack them. She must have felt so nasty and cheap. 10k had never had to fake feelings like that before. Sure, he had flirted with men and women alike for a ride in their car or even to ponce a cigarette or food but he’d never had to pursue anything. He imagined how Cassandra must have scrubbed at herself with the limited water supply they had and how she must have detested the thought of anyone touching her ever again and yet she trusted 10k so fully. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty, it wasn’t like he did it for his own enjoyment, it was just part of the plan to get the guns. That was all. The thought didn’t stop him from feeling like an utter jerk. He hadn’t seen Murphy as he marched back across the grounds and assumed he must have been back at the house. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on his rifle again. Something that made him feel secure and in control. He came through the door and before he even had a chance to shut it behind him, he knew he wasn’t going to get that reassuring feeling he so badly needed right then. Murphy was crouched on the stairs, awaiting 10k’s return, with no rifle to be seen. His eyes were slitted and candescent as he held a chipped mug in his hands. The atmosphere was so thick and fiery that 10k didn’t dare to speak. He recognised that resentful glower instantly. He looked into the kitchen to see if anyone else was around when Murphy snapped,  
“They’ve gone to see what supplies they can pinch from the pantries.”  
‘Shit,’ 10k panicked, they were alone and Murphy was fuming.

10k shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet, pain from where he had been walking on them for days spreading up his ankles. He didn’t know what to do whilst Murphy chugged from his china cup. He went to walk to into the kitchen, anywhere to escape Murphy’s piercing eyes. He barely made it to the threshold when Murphy bolted to his feet and blocked the doorway. 10k stood his ground. He felt that fuzzy, sickening feeling griping in his gut but he kept his face as immobile as possible. Murphy’s breath was stained with its signature scent of whiskey. Murphy’s ‘go to’ solution for all his problems. 10k went to continue into the kitchen despite Murphy’s blockade, only to be shoved roughly back into the hallway.  
“Don’t do this,” 10k pleaded, his exterior calm but his insides screaming.  
“Do what?” Murphy asked provokingly, “this?”  
Murphy forcefully pushed 10k again so that he stumbled backwards onto the front door. The latch painfully digging into his spine.  
“You don’t have the right to be an asshole Murphy. It was your idea,” 10k reminded him, trying to remain calm to not antagonise him anymore.  
“To distract him?” Murphy sneered, “not dry hump him death!”  
“Oh come on,” 10k groaned, rubbing his temples with frustration, “this is ridiculous.”  
Murphy’s breath was heavy, the longer strands of his hair falling carelessly on his forehead.  
“We got what we needed, that’s all that matters right?” 10k tried to assure him, again trying to move from the door to be met by a bullish hand holding him in place by the centre of his chest.  
There was deafening silence in response. 10k could feel himself holding his breath, a poor attempt to lower his heart beat.  
Murphy’s fingers pulled at the material of 10k’s discoloured top, 10k was certain it had been minutes since Murphy had blinked.  
“Murphy... come on,” he said lowly, his hands covering Murphy’s as he slowly tried to detach the other mans grasp.  
Murphy only held on tighter, twisting the fabric so his knuckles were now rubbing harshly against 10k’s breast bone. 10k winced at the intense pressure like at any moment Murphy’s fist would bust through his rib cage and be able to squeeze his aching heart.  
“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Murphy sighed, his other hand tracing along the red skin where George had been attempting to leave a hickey.  
“Please don’t start that again,” 10k found himself begging, “please don’t...”  
10k wasn’t sure how long he would be able to resist if Murphy kept pursuing him.  
10k exhaled as Murphy finally released his hold. His entire stance still threatening like a hissing snake waiting to strike but he removed himself and went back into the kitchen to pour himself another drink.

Relieved, 10k didn’t think twice about bounding up the stairs, taking them two at a time to reach the room quicker. He soon saw that he was shaking and he was semi hard in his pants. What was wrong with him? He suddenly felt that he was struggling to breath. Every gasp for air felt futile as he paced around the small room. He pulled his top over head and slung it to the ground, feeling too hot as of his internal organs were boiling in a bloody stew. He tore his goggles from his head, trying to remove anything too restricting from his body.  
“Calm down for Christ sake,” he mumbled to himself.  
Why was he getting so worked up? Everything had gone to plan this morning so why did he feel so bad?  
So, so... unfulfilled?  
“You need to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth,” Murphy ordered, “you know this stuff kid.”  
10k was startled to see Murphy standing the doorway. He approached 10k tenderly as if he was trying not to spook a young stallion. 10k didn’t want to look at him, mortified that Murphy had seen how much of an effect he had on him. Just look at the state he was in and it had only been a few days in each other’s company. He felt Murphy close the gap between them. His large arms came around both of 10k’s sides, pinning 10k’s arms in place as his hands rested on 10k’s bare chest. 10k squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the voices in his head shouting at him to break away. But he didn’t.  
“Deep breaths,” Murphy whispered gently into 10k’s ear, “just try relax for a second.”  
10k was embarrassed to admit that Murphy’s presence had actually been helpful. It was as if he had taken control of the situation that 10k wasn’t managing with, therefore making 10k feel a little less ungrounded. The sensation of Murphy’s cool hands against his warm skin was a comfort he had forgotten he had relished. “That’s it, much better,” Murphy praised him as his breath returned to a slower pattern.  
10k opened his eyes gradually as he felt Murphy’s hips push against him, feeling Murphy’s excitment poke his buttocks. 10k should have known the sick fuck would have got off from the whole scenario but that didn’t make him do anything to stop what he knew was about to happen.  
He felt Murphy’s hand as it traveled to 10k’s belt, he remained silent as Murphy expertly undone the buckle with one hand and even when he toyed with the hem of 10k’s underwear. 10k didn’t protest as the hand met his member and started to massage it.  
Like Murphy could read his thoughts he hushed him, his other hand now feeling along the scars he had imprinted on him all those years ago.  
“Stop fighting me Thomas,” Murphy said, “just be mine. Be mine again, just for now.”  
10k was so lost in the pleasure, his chin tilted upwards as he rested the back of his head on Murphy’s shoulder.  
10k hadn’t even noticed that Murphy must have undone his own pants, exposing himself so that 10k could feel him, skin on skin. He was grinding against him so hard 10k shuddered with exhilaration.  
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” 10k breathed in a feeble attempt to do the right thing.  
“Fuck that,” Murphy growled, suddenly spurred on by 10k’s inability to use his self control.  
He threw 10k face first onto the bed he had been sharing with his girlfriend, he could still smell her sweet scent on the sheets as Murphy pulled 10k’s hip upwards so he was in the correct position.  
He could hear Murphy’s primal purrs of appreciation as he thumbed 10k’s backside, his other hand pushing 10k’s face deep into the mattress.  
“My god I forgot how good you look like this,” Murphy hummed, his face suddenly close to 10k’s as he buried himself deep inside of the younger man.  
10k gasped, his body reacting to the sudden fullness he had so badly longed for. That tightened coil in the pit of his gut winding tighter and tighter with every thrust Murphy made. Murphy’s hands found 10k’s wrists as he pulled them behind his back. 10k huffed as he lost his support and his chin was uncomfortably positioned into one of the springs in the mattress.  
He didn’t care.  
He just couldn’t bring himself to care.

Murphy pulled at 10k’s wrists so fiercely he felt his shoulders involuntarily ‘pop’. 10k didn’t complain. All he could focus on was Murphy’s weight against his body, the way his back burnt with pain as his arms twisted at an inhuman angle, that alone was enough to make him smile.  
“I never wanted to leave you Thomas,” Murphy breathed heavily through clenched teeth, his rhythm increasing.  
“I don’t want anyone else to have you,” he growled possessively, “I don’t think you ever wanted to be anyone else’s.”  
10k tried to respond but the words couldn’t form between being suffocated by the sheets and the stiff sensation between his legs.  
“Fuck sake kid,” Murphy strategically swivelled 10k around so that he was now laying on his back.  
His bruised knees bent as Murphy dug his nails into them to give himself more leverage. 10k hated the way Murphy looked at him like this. Like all his birthdays and Christmas’s had arrived at once. 10k was panting and a blotchy pink, his eyes dilated with lust and undoing. He wanted to touch himself so bad but he knew that Murphy would most likely bend his fingers back if he did so. He hated the way that Murphy saw this completely vulnerable and submissive side to him and that to Murphy, this was an open invitation. What made it worse was that 10k knew it was indeed an invite. 10k hated the fact that he would never do anything to stop Murphy from looking at him like that.  
He needed Murphy to look at him like he was the only flower blooming on this decaying planet.  
He needed to feel.  
10K closed his eyes, concentrating on how good Murphy felt inside of him. He was jolted into alertness when Murphy’s gruff hand grabbed him by his face. His thumb and fingers pressing hard into his cheeks, forcing his lips into an outward pout. Murphy wanted 10k’s undivided attention as he leant his face as close as he could get. Considering they couldn’t have been any closer physically, when Murphy released 10k’s face and kissed him it made the whole encounter shift. It went from being driven by Murphy’s envy and 10k’s weakness to something a lot less shallow. Less volatile. As their tongues met amidst the sweat and gasps for air, the men slowed their pace. 10k was slightly relieved to feel the way Murphy was penetrating him, tentatively and without haste. It was demonstration to 10k that Murphy was also feeling the same. Feeling all the love they had harboured for each other. The kiss was like removing a brick in the wall of 10k’s mind, the ones he had build to keep Murphy form pouring into his thoughts. It was easy to remember all the bloodshed and tears. It was simpler to focus on all the reason to hate Murphy. To remind himself why he had been better off without him. This kiss made all the night gritty come flooding back. The way 10k tingled with excitement at Murphy’s trademark smirk. They way he felt safe when the world was collapsing just because Murphy told him in his most authoritative voice that everything was going to be okay.  
10k adored this side to Murphy.  
The big bad wolf was no more than a stray, always on the defence but so badly wanted to be touched. 10k couldn’t believe that after all the time that had passed, Murphy was still the only person who could make him feel so special.  
God, he felt so corny thinking that. Murphy’s kiss ventured along 10k’s neck, teeth scraping along 10k’s presented jugular. Murphy’s grip on 10k’s thigh became spiteful as he needed at 10k’s collar bone with his teeth. Then the fear set in. The fear that had ultimately prevented this situation from happening the moment they clasped eyes on each other. 

10k used his hands to pull Murphy’s head by fistfuls of silver hair. Trying to remove Murphy’s teeth from his skin but Murphy didn’t budge.  
“If you bite me I swear I will kill you,” he threatened shakily.  
Murphy didn’t seem to hear 10k as he continued to burrow his face against 10k’s ribs. 10k was very aware of Murphy’s lips and chin that were rubbing on his torso. The pressure inside him built up with every elongated thrust Murphy made in his compulsion to taste every inch of him.  
“Murphy, you need to move your mouth,” 10k warned, forcing his fingers between Murphy’s forehead and his chest to make space between them.  
“Murphy stop.”  
Murphy wasn’t listening. 10k’s protests fell on deaf ears as Murphy continued to mouth at him. This was unlike anything 10k had experienced with Murphy before. Sure he got carried away, he did things 10k didn’t like in order to provoke a reaction but he would always acknowledge he was doing it. Always taking pride in his defiance. An obnoxious wink, a sarcastic comment.  
This wasn’t like that.  
10k could feel himself being nipped at. He was petrified that he couldn’t distinguish if the skin was broken or not as Murphy’s hold on him became awfully tight as he pounded faster.  
“Get your fucking act together!” 10k hissed, pulling as hard as he could at Murphy’s hair. He caught the flash of hunger Murphy’s eyes.  
“Holy fuck,” he practically squeaked in horror.  
Murphy’s eyes were a ruby red, blood shot and burning in his skull. Not their usual glowing orange of a burning out coal. 10k couldn’t see the man he knew in these eyes. This man that was unable to restrain himself from dragging his pointed canines across 10k’s bare and goose pimpled flesh. 10k didn’t see a man. He saw a Z.  
“Don’t bite, don’t bite, don’t bite,” he chanted as he used his entire upper body strength to push Murphy off of him.  
Murphy’s jaw was snapping manically as he was roughly redirected.  
10k used his free leg to kick Murphy as hard as he could into his side so that he fell. 10k took his opportunity to jump from the bed and race to anywhere as far from Murphy as he could get but Murphy wasn’t as slow as he had once been. 10k could see that Murphy was fuelled with something much more primitive. He beat 10k to the door,  
“I didn’t mean to... I wasn’t gonna...”  
“Bullshit, look at your face! What the fuck is going on with you?” 10k exclaimed, “you didn’t just want to bite me? You were gonna tear my fucking guts out!”  
Murphy growled deeply in the back of his throat as he took a stride towards 10k but 10k wasn’t taking any chances. He wasn’t getting hurt again. Not by Murphy. He flung his fist so quickly he didn’t have time to recoil before the scarlet burst from Murphy’s nose over his hand.  
“You never touch me again, are we clear?” 10k panted angrily as he stormed out of the room, leaving Murphy sitting on the edge of the bed with his nose pouring blood onto the dirty carpet.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena POV

Serena knew she had changed since being with Murphy. Since becoming Lucy’s mother. She had always been built tough, her Daddy had taught her how to be like that. He was a vile man at times, a tongue as vicious as a lashing from a whip and a cracking backhander. Her Mama hadn’t been so tough. She never said boo to a goose that woman. She would spend hours slaving over a hot stove making that man the finest meals a women with little money could make, only for him smash it all up into a pulp and sling across the floor. Serena watched her Mama never say a damn, single word. She never cursed. Never called him out on his macho bullshit. She would calmly pick up shards of smashed crockery and not even wince when her fingers would bleed. Serena never wanted to be like that. She tried so hard to not be like her Mama she became rather over confrontational. She could be foul mouthed, opinionated and no one was ever going to tell her what she could or couldn’t do. Especially no man. Up until she met Murphy, she had done exactly that. One of her boyfriends would say her skirt was too short so she would pull it up higher. A barman would tell her he didn’t like women that got too drunk, so she’d finish of the bottle of vodka in a heartbeat. Hell, a police officer once told her she needed a car more suitable for a woman, she brought the loudest, angriest beast with the biggest engine she could afford. For a long time, she told herself she didn’t need that kind of approval to survive in this world... then the world changed. Men and women alike had became the enemy in a completely different narrative. Serena never felt that sense of competition with Murphy. She never felt like she needed to spar with him, unless it was for fun of course. He never raised his brow at her when she had swore loudly when she dropped a stack of folders back at the base. He never told her that she should smile more like the security always did. He never even assumed she would be interested in him because of his new found celebrity status. He had actually been quite surprised when she finally made her move. Murphy had been the only person to offer her a shoulder to cry on when her friend was savaged by Z’s. He used to draw her little notes and doodles on her observation charts when she had left them by his chair. He would laugh at her poor attempt of ‘breaking the ice’ jokes and never complain about how much the needles hurt as she inserted them into his veins even though she saw him grimace. Murphy didn’t threaten her in the slightest. Which was strange considering all the story’s she had heard of him and his band of followers. It was when she had been ordered to go and clean his wounds from ‘procedures’ that Serena had probably ever felt such a great deal of sympathy for someone else. He was like a run over animal, pitifully dragging its half emancipated body across the highway to reach the other side. He had been feverish, delirious, bleeding and disoriented. Something about the way that arrogant man with the sarcastic humour and cheeky schoolboy wink looking so broken and weak had her heart in ribbons. 

Serena had told Cassandra she didn’t know that the men knew each other. She thought it better that way. Serena only manage to fit the cogs together for herself when she heard Murphy call the young man Tommy. Back when she was working at the base she had been part of the nursing team when the doctors had wanted to break the blend bond. She could remember Murphy sitting patiently in the chair, picking up all the instruments and making wisecracks to some seriously uptight scientists about what they were used for. Like a child during their ‘why?’ phase. It was incredibly childish and enduring. Serena had seen the tense muscles beneath his shoulders. He had been quite visually nervous despite his annoying masking. He had jumped out of his skin whilst talking to an invisible entity while they were setting up. The doctors had panicked and rushed the procedure. Serena would never forget how Murphy had howled out in agony. How he had cried profusely and begged them to kill him. He had been calling out for a Tommy.   
‘I’m sorry Thomas, I’m so sorry Thomas,’ he had whimpered when the sedatives finally kicked in. Serena knew whoever Thomas was, he was important to Murphy. A blend he had a different kind of connection with. Over time, when Serena and Murphy started to share a bed instead of hasty, lust driven romps in the bases storage cupboards, she learnt that Murphy talked in his sleep. Serena heard a few names. Warren, Roberta, Doc, Addy, Mack, Vasquez, Hammond, Wessen... Thomas.   
She never questioned it. The apocalypse brought people together as much as it tore people apart. She didn’t want to pressure him into reliving old memories when they had a whole new life together. A family. It would have been pointless to upset herself over people who were most likely dead. When Murphy had called the new stranger Thomas, Serena felt a flicker of jealousy. A mama bear becoming territorial of her pack. Those feelings began to subside when she realised Murphy was actually setting the wheels in motion of their late night chats to get Lucy away from the base and the doctors. Actually she was rather grateful. She didn’t care who he was to Murphy because right now he was Lucy’s one chance of getting out. She had thanked him. She had fucking thanked him. The thought grated against her chest like rough gravel travelling down her oesophagus. 

They were sitting around the table. Cassandra, a beautiful, naive girl with far too much spunk than she was ever able to act upon, was talking about vehicles they might be able to get a hold of. Serena couldn’t concentrate. She wasn’t a docile house wife like her Mama had been. Maybe motherhood had gained her more patience, more acceptance that some things were just out of your control, but she wasn’t a damn fool. Murphy and 10k were sitting as far away from each other as possible. 10k’s knuckles were split and red while Murphy’s nose was swollen and had a shadow of a bruise. That was fine, boys always fought, no matter how old they were supposed to be. She was sure her other half most likely made a nasty comment or became sarky in that irritating way he could be. No, that wasn’t what caught Serena’s attention. 10k had turned to look out of the window when a group of people walked by, his shirt falling to the side slightly, exposing fresh purple marks. The symmetrical pattern forming a circle. The skin wasn’t broken but it was angry, beetroot red and raised. She knew 10k was Thomas. She knew Thomas was one of Murphy’s preferred blends. She knew Murphy had been more distracted than usual since the pair had arrived.   
Why would he bite his neck?   
Why would a man be so close to another to be able to bite his neck?  
Serena could feel her hands twitching, her grasp on one of Lucy’s crayons that was on the table so tense that the wax snapped. Murphy reached over to her, to put a comforting hand on hers but she withdrew immediately. He narrowed his brow in that confused way he did which only made her anger worsen. She was not her Mama. She wouldn’t be made out to be the unreasonable one. She wasn’t blind to the situation and she wouldn’t pretend she was either. The more the conversation flowed the more the vile words inside her were desperate to come out.   
“Maybe you two should go and see if you can con another solider into giving you a Jeep?” Serena seethed as she gestured towards 10k and Murphy.  
“I don’t think we both need to go...” 10k started, about to make some sort of excuse but Serena didn’t give him the chance.  
“Why not?” She snapped in a pretend friendly tone, “you don’t fancy some more alone time with my man?”  
The room fell into a brittle silence. Cassandra’s eyebrows knitting together with curiosity. Afraid she had missed something crucial.  
“Wha... wha.. what?” 10k stammered, an anxious smile on his clearly worried face.   
“Well he didn’t manage to give you a proper hickey so I thought you might need more time to practice?” She sneered, standing from her seat as Murphy attempted to put his hand on her elbow.  
“Serena stop it,” he growled, as he stood to stop her from approaching 10k.  
“Stop what?” She oozed fake innocence, pushing him back so she could make her way around the opposite side of the table.  
“What’s going on?” Cassandra barked, her eyes wide with freight.   
Serena felt a stab of guilt, she was about to pull the rug from under this girls feet, but she couldn’t dwell on it for too long. Her own hurt was clouding her vision of anyone else’s potential pain.  
Serena managed to get hold of 10k by the scruff of his shirt. He tried to push her off and move away but Serena was a force to reckoned with as she ripped the flannel material from 10k’s chest.  
“This,” she breathed heavily from the scuffle.

Cassandra came closer to inspect the mark on 10k’s throat. Her entire slightly frame beginning to quiver.   
“You are being completely over dramatic,” Murphy snarled, his mouth pressed into a stern line, “calm the hell down.”  
“Over dramatic?” She gasped with mock shock.  
“Please, it’s not...” 10k was about to tell off some poor attempt of a lie to Cassandra, when he caught her stare he decided better of it and shut his mouth again.   
He tried to pull up his shirt when Serena saw a flash of another mark below the one she had originally saw. She threw daggers at Murphy who must have seen it too. He practically launched himself across the kitchen ready to grab Serena but she was too quick.   
A woman scorned and all that.   
She grabbed the back of 10k’s shirt so ferociously it almost choked him. She pulled so hard the buttons popped and came away from the young man to become a limp piece of cloth in Serena’s fist.   
There was another deafening silence. 10k put his head in his hands, an auditable ‘fuck’ huffed from his lips as he tried to leave the room. Serena wasn’t expecting to unveil what was there. An array of teeth marks and scratches filled 10k’s slender back, his spine prominent amongst the muscles. His hips bared mauve bruising resembling finger marks, Serena could see similar bruises on the mans arms and ribs. Whatever Murphy had been attempting to do, 10k had definitely put up a fight to get away. 10k marched from the kitchen, Cassandra quickly followed him.  
Serena glared at Murphy as he walked towards her.  
“Stay where you are Mr or I swear I’ll carve you a new one,” her southern drawl threatened.   
Murphy paused, his hands raised in surrender.  
“I can explain this,” he insisted, eyes puffy and hair in disarray, “please let me explain this?”  
He looked wild, his eyes as red as Dorothy’s ruby slippers, his chest caving and inflating alarmingly like he couldn’t breath.   
“Explain?” Serena choked on the sobs that had started to escape her lips.  
Maybe this is why her Mama never said anything to Daddy? Maybe the thought of breaking down into a blubbering mess was more of a demonstration of weakness than avoidance was?   
“That kid is covered in your hand prints? Your teeth....” a horrifying thought crept into Serena’s mind, “oh god Alvin how old was he?”  
Murphy’s face creased with confusion before he realised what Serena was implying.  
“Don’t look at me like that! Jesus!” He raged, banging his fist into the table, “I’m not some cradle snatcher! He was at least twenty when we ...” he trailed off, his head bowed with disbelief, “I don’t need to explain any of that. I need to explain what’s happening now.”

Serena couldn’t talk. She couldn’t stop the downpour on her face as she cried. How embarrassing. He had finally reduced her to tears.   
“Please sweetheart don’t cry,” he begged coming close enough to her that he could put his hands on her shoulders.  
“I’ve not been feeling so great since 10k turned up... I don’t know if it’s ‘cause he was a blend or .. or whatever. I’m so ... hungry.”  
Serena could see the pain in his blood blistered eyes, she had seen that pain before. That didn’t make her feel any less betrayed.  
“Like hungry for things that are a bit too... alive...” he admitted with shrug, “I don’t know why it’s suddenly come on, I haven’t felt like this for years .... I should have told you..”  
“But you didn’t,” Serena snapped, “you went and roughed up another man!”  
They stood quietly for a moment. The muffled sound of 10k and Cassandra arguing upstairs.  
“Did you sleep with him?” Serena blurted, not really needing to know the answer. She was just torturing herself further.  
Murphy mist have felt the same as he didn’t answer her. His silence was the conformation of what she already knew. He had cheated on her with his old blend. With the person he had screamed over when his control over him had been broken. With the person he had called out to in his dreams while lying next Serena. She had carried his child, she had adored him in every way she promised herself she would never love a man. She broke her own promise to herself for him and he couldn’t even look at her. She could only see the way his lips must have pressed against that young mans back. She could only imagine the way he must have pinned him down as he tried his hardest not to bite him properly. She hated herself for feeling envious. Murphy had never tried to bite her. Not really. Not in a way that she almost feared he would follow through with his Z role play. He never left her with violent bruises like 10k had. Had he never loved her enough to want to own her the way he had done with 10k? Was being Lucy’s mother not enough to warrant her special enough? Did she not deserve the privilege?   
Serena didn’t know this man.  
The father of her child.   
Not really.

She shrugged his hands from her shoulders and vigorously rubbed her eyes to dry the dampness. She sniffed hard as he bossed herself to get her shit together. She had to think about Lucy. That amazing light of her life, she had to focus on getting her out of this fucking mess.   
“He helps us get out of here and then he’s gone you understand?” She ordered rather shakily, “if you bite him, if you even think about biting him, you can leave. You can go wherever the fuck you want but you will not stay with me and Lucy.”  
Murphy said nothing as he snatched his bottle of whiskey from the shelf and left the house with it.   
Serena slumped against the side, her hands over her mouth as she tried to silence the overwhelming tears. She gave up her cushty position as a nurse in the base, her new group of friends to move with Murphy. She gave him her body, a daughter, a home. She gave and gave and gave but ultimately it wasn’t enough. Wasn’t enough to prevent him him from straying. Wasn’t enough to stop him from wanting to sink his teeth into the backside of a handsome young man. Not just any young man. She wasn’t the strapping young lad with raven black hair and sparkling blue eyes that Murphy obviously had always carried a secret torch for. Serena just didn’t have whatever it was that he did and she knew that she never could.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Just wanted to say a big thank you for those that are still reading and enjoying :)
> 
> Please feel free to drop a comment or a kudos. 
> 
> Thank you and happy reading!

She hadn’t screamed when she awoke in the dead of the night with her Mommy’s hand over her mouth.  
She hadn’t complained when her shoulder hurt from where her Mommy was tugging at her harshly, her little feet struggling to keep up with the adults hastily pace.  
She hadn’t cried out when the gun shots were firing at them. The noise echoing in her ears as her Daddy snatched her up from the ground and cocooned her into his chest, shielding her as they ran.  
She didn’t scream when Mr 10k shot a Z that had managed to sneak up on them. She stayed silent as it’s black, sludgy brain sprayed across her face like a water balloon exploding in front of her.   
She didn’t make a sound as her Mommy shoved her into a footwell of an abandoned car in the street. The largest swarm of Z’s Lucy had ever seen was close on their tail, the sounds of the the undead’s desperation to end their eternal starvation was unnervingly deafening. Loud groaning and feet dragging.  
She barely breathed when Cassandra pulled her from the wreckage, Z’s and soldiers alike dropping to the ground as bullets flew over her head.   
She was far too young to understand the gravity of the situation she was in. Daddy had said they had to leave to keep them all safe and she trusted her Daddy. He was her idol. He understood her. When she didn’t behave like the other children he never scolded her or shouted. When she played with the Z’s by the gate he got installed because she so badly wanted to practice her mind control, he didn’t look at her funny or moan. He helped her learn how to manage her abilities so she didn’t get it wrong. She loved him unconditionally. So if he said they had to leave, Lucy would go anywhere he told her to. 

The car had rolled so quickly Lucy didn’t even have time to process what had happened. She was in the backseat footwell with Cassandra as her Mommy drove as fast as the car would go to try to escape the small herd of Z’s and the sounds of helicopter blades humming above them. Lucy heard her mother curse and shout as the car swerved and knocked into oncoming Z’s. Her little heart was pounding so hard in her chest, Lucy didn’t even know a heart could beat that fast.   
“Hit the breaks!” Cassandra had screamed.  
“They’re not working! Holy fuck they’re not working!” Her Mommy had cried.  
This conversation was quickly followed by the sound of screeching tyres and the sensation of weightlessness as Lucy’s petite body raised from the floor as if gravity no longer existed. She only squeaked when her chin hit a loose briefcase and her head bashed against the back of seat as the car summersaulted along the road.   
Lucy was shaking, too petrified to lift her head and see what had happened. The sudden motionlessness a shock to the system, she gasped with surprise when she was dragged backwards from the car by her spindly legs. Cassandra had blood pouring from a gash in the centre of her face as she pulled Lucy into a tight embrace. She was trembling, holding onto the little girl like she would never let go.  
As Cassandra stood up from her knees, Lucy could see that Cassandra had hurt her leg. Badly. It was twisted outwards in a deformed angle. Her jeans tie dyed by her own blood loss.   
“Are you ok?” She asked through tears, patting the little girl all over her body, studying for any obvious injuries.  
Lucy was fine.   
She felt a bit sick, her head a little fuzzy but she was otherwise fine.   
“Where’s my Mommy?” She whimpered, turning back towards the car.  
“Lucy don’t!” Cassandra shouted, too slow on her wounded leg to be able to grab Lucy before she ran back to the car that was now smoking from under its crushed bonnet.   
Lucy fell to her knees. Scrambling to the drivers side.  
“Mommy!” She cried out, pressing her face against the warm concrete to peer into the window.   
She jumped back in alarm as her mother’s face slammed against the cracked glass. It was a gory sight. Lucy always saw her Mommy as an angel. Long blonde hair and a smiley, kind face. She was so warm and welcoming. Splinters of glass had impaled one side of this wholesome face, claret bled from huge slashes across her cheeks. Her eyes were solid white as they darted around wildly inside her head. Her broken jaw still swinging as she pressed it against the glass, sniffing furiously, presumably because of Cassandra’s scent nearby.  
“Oh Mommy,” Lucy weeped, tears finally rolling down her face for the first time that night.   
Serena’s corpse stilled at the sound of Lucy’s voice. One of her hands, now painted scarlet raised and pressed itself against the glass.  
‘Baby girl you can’t stay here,’ her Mommy’s soft voice whispered gently inside of Lucy’s head, ‘you gotta go with Cassandra and find ya Daddy okay sweetie?’  
Lucy shook her head stubbornly.  
“Mommy I want to stay with you,” she cried, pressing her tiny hand against her mother’s, nothing but the fracturing glass between them.  
‘I’ll be alright, you need to go now. I love you so much Lucy Lou. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.’   
Lucy looked over her shoulder, Cassandra was waiting patiently a few feet away.   
‘She will look after you. She will get you to Daddy and it will be ok. She’s our friend. I love you baby girl, now go.’  
Lucy’s bottom lip quivered as she reluctantly rose to her feet.   
‘That’s my gal, my brave, brave girl.’  
“I love you Mommy,” Lucy sobbed, watching as her mother’s body suddenly burst back into action. Slamming her bloody forehead into the window so the glass cracked further as she snarled like a caged animal.   
Cassandra placed a wet hand around Lucy’s shoulders and squeezed as affectionately. Lucy needed that. She wanted nothing more than to be loved right then. She slid her hand into Cassandra’s and helped her hobble her way over to an empty alleyway.   
“We’re going to find your dad and 10k ok Lucy? We’re going to get out of this,” Cassandra promised as she tore off her jacket and began an to tie it around the gaping wound on her thigh.  
“You’re hurt,” Lucy said numbly.   
She may have only been a child but she could see that Cassandra was in a bad way. The woman was a ghostly white for someone who was naturally a shade of golden, sweat and blood glistened from her face as her hands quaked.   
“I’m going to get you out,” Cassandra said firmly through gritted teeth as she took Lucy’s hand.  
Lucy followed the woman she had only know for the past week purely on the basis that her Mommy had told her to. That and the fact she had never set foot outside of the compound before and had no idea where she was or what to do by herself without an adult being in charge. 

Lucy was about to learn one of the hardest things about growing up in the apocalypse. That there wasn’t always going to be an adult around to tell you what to do or when to do something. Sometimes you were going to be alone and you would have to make decisions that could make or break you. No one was exempt from the cruel sternness of this reality. Not even children. Children of the Z world were often orphaned, lost and untrusting. The younger ones tended to be a little less phased by things, they were born into the chaos from the get go. Fresh out of the womb they were exposed to Z’s and the dangers of the universe. The older ones may have still needed a bit of adjusting. Having to grow up knowing that all they needed to learn how to do was survive. They couldn’t watch TV or play video games ... meet up at the local mall and talk about boys or designer brands they wish their parents would buy them. They didn’t need to worry about exams or college, getting their drivers license or being a legal age limit to drink alcohol or have sex. A lawless world could be harder for a adolescents to navigate through than a world where there boundaries and rules. At least they knew where they stood back then. Lucy was too young for any of that. She was too absorbed in her imagination and playing games with her scavenged dolls or the other children to be distracted by such adult, worldly affairs. Z’s were just a part of Lucy’s life and she saw them like a hazardous animal like a bear or coyote. She knew they were scary predators but she had never actually been in fear of her life from one. Everyone said they were bad, apart from her Daddy. He always said they couldn’t help their behaviour. He always made it sounds as if they were sick. Lucy knew she and her Daddy were different from other people. They were the only ones with blue skin. The only ones that had the right blood in their veins to save people. The only ones that wanted to bite even though their was still human logic in their heads telling them not to. Lucy knew she didn’t need to be afraid of the Z’s. The Z’s would interact with her like she was one of them. They made great companions at the gate when the other kids were being mean to her. She liked to learn their names and try to keep count of how many times she saw them pass by. She knew they wouldn’t harm her. Cassandra on the other hand...  
She walked alongside Cassandra as she staggered, wincing and grimacing as pain seared through her with every off balanced step. They were only a stone toss away from two straggling Z’s that were doodling along behind them through the maze of back alleys.

Cassandra was gradually slowing down. Lucy looked up at the face she found so beautiful. She had never seen a woman who looked so different. Lucy had seen these types of women on the front of old magazines that her Mommy had in the house. Models she had called them. These women with perfect hair, straight teeth and slim stomachs. None of them looked her Mommy or the other women that lived in the compound. The soldiers never wore their hair down or had make up and the all the other children’s Mom’s had lumps and bumps all over their bodies. Cassandra had looked like she had walked straight out of one of the glossy pages of an old magazine. Lucy admired Cassandra’s tanned skin, the way her hair had natural twists and waves. She also liked that Cassandra had paid her attention. Back at compound she never ignored her like most of the adults did or pretended to be interested in what she was saying when really she just wanted Lucy to go away. Lucy felt that Cassandra was her friend and her Mommy had said that she was. Mommy had said Cassandra would look after her. How could she look after her when she could barely walk? Cassandra stopped at the sight of an oncoming group of Z’s. They were wearing beach wear, their once youthful bodies now missing limbs and their internal organs trailing along behind them. The pair of Z’s that had been following them were snapping their teeth and speeding up at the sight of their prey stopping.   
Cassandra raised her gun and shot blindly. She missed terribly, her eyes clearly unfocused as she squinted. Her vision blurred as the bullets pierced through torsos and shoulders.   
“Fuck,” she groaned hoarsely, throwing herself into a wall for support to stay upright.  
Defeat becoming a harrowing sensation on her weak body. Lucy tried to pull Cassandra onwards,  
“Come on! They will eat you!”  
Cassandra didn’t respond. Her body slumped to the ground, the hand Lucy had been pulling went soft and limp in her own.   
“Cassandra! Cassandra!” She squealed, shaking at the woman’s shoulders, doing nothing but making Cassandra’s unconscious head roll. She couldn’t loose anyone else tonight. She didn’t understand why they had to leave the compound. She didn’t understand why she was in danger. She didn’t understand why she had lost her Mother and didn’t know where her Daddy was. She didn’t want to be lost on her own. She didn’t want to have to hide or not know who to trust. She had never been so terrified. Lucy put herself between Cassandra and the Z’s as the got closer.  
“You can’t have her!” She screamed, “she’s my friend! You can’t have her!”  
Her blue face darkened into a stormy navy. The Z’s didn’t pay any kind to her. Their soulless eyes fixated on where Cassandra laid.  
Lucy made her first decision by herself in that alleyway. She heard her Daddy and Mommy talking about blends and biting. How Daddy had told her she was never to bite another person to make them do what she wanted because it was wrong. Even if they were dying she should not bite them. She felt that under the circumstances, and her Daddy not being around, she was allowed to break the rules just this once. She pushed one of Z’s back with her mind, it stumbled pathetically back into the others, temporarily slowing them down for a moment as Lucy panicked.   
“I’m going to get us out of this,” she whispered to Cassandra.  
Her small fingers brushed Cassandra’s silky black hair behind her ear before sinking her tiny milk teeth into the cold flesh of Cassandra’s cheek.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k PoV

“Where the fuck are they?” Murphy cursed for what could have been the hundredth time in ten minutes.   
10k was running out of ways to reassure him that his family were fine. That they would find them any minute now and everything was going to be ok.   
“Murphy we will find them,” 10k reminded him as they waited behind an overflowing dumpster for a huddle of soldiers to pass.   
They were sitting ducks the longer they hung around the inner city. They needed to move, put distance between them and the Military hunting them but of course they couldn’t go anywhere without the others. 10k had forgotten how useless Murphy was during an actual combat situation. He could fire a gun but wether it actually hit anyone was debatable. He was handy to have around with all the Z’s though. There seemed to be more of them, probably attracted to all the noise 10k rationalised. Murphy was now well practiced enough with his Z control that he could redirect a sizeable group of Z’s away from 10k. Ever since 10k lost the bond the Z’s had deemed him worthy as a main course again. Other than that Murphy was as useful as butter knife trying to carve a roast turkey. 10k was grateful he didn’t need to worry as much about Cassandra. She was a quick thinker, resourceful and after a few target practice sessions with 10k she was able to shoot to a standard he was comfortable with. She had been a quick learner in comparison to Floyd. It had taken him months to figure out the safety before he even got round to actually shooting at anything. 10k had never even suggested that Murphy should practice. He had often sat and watched as 10k shot at Z’s or used his sling shot to knock over rows of cans or bottles. He never asked to be taught and 10k never thought to ask if he wanted to learn. Something about that potential exchange always made 10k feel so punitive, like a child showing off for an older brothers friends. Cassandra had been a dab hand, naturally picking up all the tricks and skills. It was one of the things that attracted him to her. She would be making sure they were all safe on her end. He was sure of it.  
“I should have been with them,” Murphy muttered, tears brimming in his reddened eyes, “why is everything such a shit show?”  
“Cassandra will get them to the meeting point. I know she will, we need to figure out how we’re getting ourselves there to meet them,” 10k told him as he waited for a clearing they could pass through without anyone seeing them.  
“We don’t know that!” Murphy hissed sharply, “she hates your guts as much as mine. What if she thinks my girls are better off without me? Serena is so mad, they could all be on their way to England by now!”  
“I doubt they’ve hatched a plan to elope without you Murphy,” 10k couldn’t help but snap.  
It was only because he knew Murphy was right about Cassandra being as infuriated as Serena. The night Serena had exposed his clawed and teethed at body, Cassandra had attacked him with a blind rage. She had thrown anything within an arms reach at him. Called him every name under the sun as she lashed out. She had cried, she had cried a lot. Asking why he didn’t tell her, asking if he ever loved her, until she eventually went back to being angry and gave him the silent treatment. Maybe they hated their partners so much they had fled? What if 10k had finally pushed her over the edge and she decided to call it quits?   
“You think the girl would leave you?” Murphy asked as if he still had access to 10k’s personal thoughts.   
“If she wasn’t doing this for Lucy I think she might have and I wouldn’t blame her if she bailed,” 10k answered soberly as he watched a gaggle of Z’s follow a speeding jeep, “I let her down and I promised I wouldn’t.”  
Murphy didn’t respond. It was almost as if he had forgotten that they had both betrayed someone.   
“She hates me, not Lucy,” 10k huffed, “she won’t do anything to upset her.”  
Murphy accepted this before signalling that the coast was clear.   
They made a dash for it. 

At the meeting point, beneath a large decaying billboard that had once had advertised brightly painted apartments, Murphy was pacing frantically. 10k would have been lying if he was to say he had not been worried. Time was passing, the sun beginning to rise and the soldiers were relentlessly searching for them.   
“Where are they for Christ sake?” Murphy asked as he kept checking over his shoulders.   
10k was starting to envision the nightmare that would unfold if Murphy didn’t get his daughter back. He didn’t know what button Murphy would slam first. Self destruct most likely. 10k had stopped responding to Murphy, realising that he wasn’t actually talking to him directly and just blowing off some frustration outwardly.   
“I need my girls..” Murphy suddenly pinned as he looked out at the blacked out city, “I’m nothing without them you know? I’d do anything...”  
All the anger and festering fear Murphy had been spurting was now showing itself for what it really was... desperation.   
10k shouldn’t have felt the pang of hurt that jolted through his body at the sound of Murphy begging with the universe for his partner and child, but he did. His chest tightened and his stomach dropped slightly. He focused on watching the surrounding area, a jingling chain link fence and whooshing of hot wind as it blew through the grass. 10k just couldn’t look at Murphy anymore. They waited in silence for what could have been an minutes or hours, it was difficult to distinguish given how much adrenaline was pumping through 10k’s body before he saw the worst sight he could of imagined. 

The initial feelings of relief and excitement from seeing the approaching silhouettes coming up the hill were soon diminished. The two men had ran towards the others like lost dogs being reunited with their owners. Murphy hadn’t stopped wagging his tail the moment he clocked eyes on his small offspring. He fell to his knees clumsily as he scooped her into his arms, he buried his face into her blonde hair and 10k was sure he could hear him weeping. He was telling her repeatedly how much he loved her and how he had been going out of his mind...   
Lucy was sobbing uncontrollably into her fathers chest. Her comfort blanket amongst the destruction.  
“Where’s Mama?” Murphy had asked in a sudden realisation that Serena was nowhere to be seen, “Lucy where’s your Mama?”  
10k had zoned out of their reunion, his thankful smile drooping as he saw Cassandra at a closer range. She was unsmiling, her eyes were wild and her pupils unfocused. Their once hazelnut tones replaced by a bright burning amber. Flickering flecks of gold and orange were shimmering in her sunken eye sockets. They looked like a more rounded, feminine version of Murphy’s. Her black hair was caked in grime, possible blood and sweat, loose around her dirty face. It didn’t do any favours in covering the little round circle on the side of her cheek. A child’s teeth marks. She was breathing heavily, her chest visibly rising and falling with every intake of the warm air. Her jacket had been tied around her crooked leg, blood drenching the fabric. 10k knew immediately what this was. Previous to this, 10k wouldn’t have thought it possible to ever feel another heartbreak as bad as the first time he lost Murphy or when Floyd had died in his arms... but now he knew he could. He just had. It was as if he could hear the valves that pumped the blood tearing, feel his aorta imploding.   
“Cassandra...” he didn’t move towards her, aware of her defensive stance and lips curled into a misshapen snarl.   
Her head snapped upwards, her vacant expression boring through the space between 10k’s paining eyes. If it wasn’t for the fact she wasn’t trying to rip him limb from limb in a ravenous attempt to eat him, he could have quite easily of mistaken her for a Z.   
“She bit you?” He managed to ask, his hands longing to reach out and hold her.  
“Lucy saved my life,” Cassandra corrected in a brittle manner, “I owe her everything.”  
10k turned to where Murphy was standing in front of Lucy, his arms outstretched in a protective pose, tears still streaming into his beard.  
“You even think about raising that gun and I swear to you Tommy I will do worse than kill you,” he threatened, a serious venom leaking into his voice.  
Cassandra leapt like a tiger defending its cub as she too put herself in front of the little blue girl, growling as she studied him. 10k didn’t move. He wasn’t even sure if he angry enough to want to harm Lucy for her insolent actions. He was just horrified that Cassandra had eventually made it on to his list of people that he had loved and lost. He raised his hands in a reluctant surrender, biting harshly at his bottom lip until he could taste the metallic blood on the tip of his tongue. He was out numbered, out Z’d and out of energy.

“We’ve gotta go,” Murphy said as he picked up his exhausted looking daughter, her spider like legs clinging to her dads waist.   
Cassandra prowled alongside him, stroking Lucy’s head and whispering to her that everything was going to be alright. It was the most bizarre scene. 10k felt like he was watching a family... a group he was no longer apart of or needed. He couldn’t go with them.   
“You guys go,” 10k suggested feebly, his eyes regarding Cassandra with sorrow, “you can make it now.”  
Murphy frowned, his face scrunching up in confusion as he watched how 10k was slowly stepping backwards.   
“What are you on about?” Murphy sneered, “you’re coming with us? You can’t go back that way on your own?”  
10k could feel his blood turning cold inside his veins as three pairs of shining eyes all stared at him intently. If he went with them he was sure to get bitten. He didn’t want to risk his chances of being at ground zero of another Murphytown situation. Not with Cassandra. Not with Murphy. Especially not with a child that he would never be able to save.   
“I’ll be fine...”   
Murphy denied 10k the chance to finish as he passed Lucy to Cassandra who was shockingly able to bare the weight of the child despite her leg being clearly wounded. Murphy took determined strides towards 10k, snatching the cuff off his jacket so he didn’t have a chance to evade him. Murphy’s face was glowering as he invaded 10k’s space, his hold on him vice like.   
“You can’t just leave,” he stated, looking more distressed as each second passed, “you can’t just leave.”  
10k tried to tug his arm back but Murphy’s hand was wrapped so tightly around his wrist like a python coiling around its prey, 10k thought the bones might just shatter.   
“Look at her,” 10k begged, “look at her Murphy, she’s already barely even human and you know it.”  
“What about me huh?” Murphy breathed, “I’ve just lost Serena and I need as much help as I can get here and...”  
“And what?” 10k shouted, still wrestling with the snakelike grasp on his arm, “what makes you think that you are the most important? I’ve lost everyone because of you. I’ve lost people that were my friends, my family! I never even had you Murphy! You owned me. You played me and you owned me, just like how Lucy owns Cas now! And I still lost you!”  
10k continued to pull away even though Murphy wouldn’t release him. He couldn’t stop the words from coming out, he couldn’t force the cork back into the bottle that was overflowing. He was furious, terrified and consumed by grief.   
“For the love of Christ let me go!” He cried out, looking over Murphy’s shoulder to see Lucy onlooking with innocent confusion and Cassandra looking with no feelings at all, “let me go!”  
Murphy was untouched, unmoving. His face and posture ridged as 10k fought with the statuesque man. He briefly glanced at Lucy and Cassandra before sighing and looking back at 10k, his face crestfallen and full of hurt. 10k wasn’t sure why he was so frightened, not being able to move his arm had flared up that fight or flight response system inside of him. His body desperately trying to achieve both options. The look in Murphy’s eyes wasn’t helping. 10k could see the rejection in them, clouded by a red mist. He suddenly pulled 10k into him, a fierce embrace that could have easily collapsed one of 10k’s struggling lungs.  
“No,” Murphy hushed him, “no.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy PoV

Cassandra had been a completely different blend from what Murphy had experienced entirely. He knew that once they were bitten or ‘vaccinated’ the new blend had an irresistible gravitational pull towards their maker. 10k had fought against it as hard as he possibly could. Determined to remain defiant till the end. Wessen had been more of an obliging blend. He had followed Murphy around like a second shadow to the point Murphy had to order him away somewhere, keeping him occupied with senseless tasks just so Murphy could have five minutes peace. Cassandra though.... he had seen how some of the blends over time could become somewhat weak in the head. A little more carnal, more teeth baring and aggressive. Nothing too noticeable at first but they could potentially go that way if they were inclined to be a bit hot headed. Cassandra had skipped the developing stage and dived head first into an obsessed creature. In one respect Murphy preferred the new Cassandra. She was better than hiring a body guard for Lucy. She was the new mother figure a little girl needed as well as being a full time play mate and guard dog. Someone would only have to look at Lucy funny and Cassandra would have them by their jugular. She would tend to every need that Lucy had with an unconditional admiration. It was just a shame she walked around like an empty house, all the lights were on but no one was home. The part he didn’t like so much was how much it made 10k hate him. It had taken Murphy a long time to build up the courage to do it. To bite his younger counterpart again. He had tried so hard to manage the situation in a way that wouldn’t require such a messy altercation. He had initially pleaded, he had tried to ‘woo’ him with his undeniable charm and flattery. He had threatened him, hell, he was ashamed to admit that they had even physically fought. He just didn’t want him to leave ... Murphy couldn’t and wouldn’t loose him again. 

He could still see the terror on 10k’s face as he tried to escape Murphy’s jaws. Murphy hadn’t meant to mislead 10k that night, he just knew that their sporadic little rendezvous were so far and few between with 10k’s frosty behaviour that he didn’t know when 10k would allow him so close again. The younger man could be so cold towards him, Murphy had to strike while the iron was hot. 10k had been pressed between Murphy’s thighs as he kissed him, roughly grabbing at 10k’s hair, his tongue tracing along the veins beneath warm porcelain skin. As he masticated 10k’s clavicle, he shivered at the sound of 10k’s horrified gasp. His nails dug into the back of Murphy’s shoulder blades like knives as he tried to move away. It was not one of Murphy’s proudest moments. When he had retracted his teeth from 10k’s chest, startling scarlet that tasted like liquid gold seeped between his lips, oozing onto his facial hair, he had seen it. The last of 10k’s trust him leave his body like a fatigued spirit. 10k’s hands had flung upwards to where he would now have a third scar inflicted by the same person, his eyes like cracked diamonds. Murphy was actually so overwhelmed with guilt about his selfishness that he didn’t even try to explain ... he just simply left the room. Left Thomas standing semi dressed and cradling his own blood without so much as an apology in order to not have to face when his lover would inevitably attack him.

Murphy was able to establish a band of followers pretty quickly under the circumstances. People were growing tired of the zombie apocalypse and most had given up any hope or fantasies about a vaccine that could reset the world back to normal. People wanted a new normal. Something that stood a chance at surviving and made sense. People flocked to him and Lucy for their miracle blood and their new world order. The military were still persistent with their efforts to capture him or Lucy, still hung up on a traditional cure. Murphy had always known that the blends were the only way for the human race to continue, he just wished it had not taken everyone else so long to get on the same page. So much wasted time. Murphy had blends helping him to restart a small town that they had stumbled upon after fleeing LA. They had built walls around their community, basic water and electricity beginning to make an appearance once more. Only this time Murphy hadn’t been so arrogant to name it after himself. He had also decided to uphold a more hands on approach as a leader this time. He joined in the dirty work of cleaning the streets and helping people rebuild the remnants of their former lives. He wanted this place to be different, for Lucy. He wanted her to have a home, safety in the knowledge that people would want to look out for her. A legacy she might one day even want to continue. He had been standing by the bedroom window. He had taken residence in one of the towns houses, nothing as extravagant has his younger self would have picked. It was a simple house with a porch and three bedrooms. It was homely. Suitable for a family. He looked out into the town where blend citizens were all chipping in at whatever handy work needed to be achieved. People were smiling, children running around playfully as hammers and saws were hard at work.

“Where’s your gun?” He asked aloud, his gaze unmoving, “would have thought it would have been pressed into the back of my head by now.”  
He didn’t need to look to know that 10k had been standing behind him. He could feel the hate radiating like the heat from a blazing bonfire. He could feel every breath 10k took like he was breathing them too.   
“We both know that I can’t kill you,” he said sullenly, “being a blend kinda takes away the element of surprise.”  
“Come on then,” Murphy sighed, turning to face 10k, ready to accept his pummelling, “tell me how much I disgust you.”  
10k stood there with a slack stance, it surprised Murphy to see the man looking so defeated and unfortified. He was smoking a cigarette heavy heartedly, a patch of blood seeping through his shirt just below his neck.  
“What’s the point?” He asked hopelessly, “you always get what you want in the end. Here I am. You win.”  
“I win?” Murphy reiterated, uneasy with how much acceptance 10k was displaying.   
As much as Murphy could tap into 10k emotions, the bond was still fresh and there were now so many others he could feel as well. He wasn’t sure what he was missing exactly but he was certain he was missing something.   
“You got Lucy out, you got your new world order in action again and..” 10k pulled the hem of his t-shirts collar down low enough to reveal a red and sore looking wound, “you got me where you want me.”  
With that 10k put his cigarette back to his mouth and went to leave.  
“You would have stayed anyway,” Murphy justified, “you can act like this isn’t what you want and that you hate it but we both know that where I want you is where you’ve always wanted to be.”  
10k remained silent causing Murphy to believe that maybe he had inadvertently crushed the last of 10k’s belligerence.   
“Don’t fuck it up this time,” he finally responded before slamming the door shut behind him.  
10k was right about one thing, Murphy did have everything he wanted. So why did he feel so empty? Maybe it was because he didn’t gain everything the way he had ideally planned? He didn’t have Serena anymore, a loss he was still recovering from. He couldn’t close his eyes as night without seeing her face. He could sometimes hear her voice in the back of his mind when he was trying to reach a decision about something. Her opinion had always been so important to him. He had hoped that him, Serena and Lucy would be at the centre of the new world, the three of them, excluding the two begrudging blends. Then he thought how that situation would have worked out. He couldn’t pretend he would of happily let 10k and Cassandra skip off into the sunset together even if Serena were still alive. An irrelevant thought process.

Murphy looked back outside of his window. 10k had joined the group of folk working outside. He had cuddled Lucy as she ran towards him, her pigtails bouncing as she greeted him with a wide grin that was missing a front tooth. He had held her for a moment before standing to greet Cassandra. The blend could clearly still remember she once had feelings for 10k despite her primal attitude as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at him fondly. They were talking as they walked around the side of the busy workmen, stopping to chat to people as they passed. They looked like a family. A strong unit as they both held one of Lucy’s little hands. Murphy had to forget about all of his regrets and guilt. He was considerably old for someone in the apocalypse, he needed to know that there would be someone to care for Lucy when he did eventually kick the bucket. If anyone was going to protect his daughter it was Thomas. As much as there was an abundance of hostility and resentment there was an equal amount of devotion and a deep affection between the pair. 10k would look after Lucy because she would be all he would have left of Murphy after he was dead and buried. That thought provided Murphy with some sort of morbid comfort. This was the start of something new, something good, something better. He had faith in himself to execute this plan more efficiently than how he had with his first attempt. He was older, more humble and experienced. He had more reason to make this work for others and not just to meet his own satisfaction. This was more sustainable than the human race and less undignified than being a fully turned Z. Murphy helped create that and he had to take pride in it. He owned this new, brighter version of Z Nation and he was going to enjoy every last god damn second of it.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Older Lucy PoV

“If I ask you something you will tell me the truth right?” Lucy asked the dark haired man with the gun strapped to his back.  
He raised a concerned brow, the way he always did when Lucy started to ask questions.  
“You know I can’t lie to you...” he started to remind her but she quickly interrupted,  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah but even if you could you wouldn’t right?”   
The man smiled at her as he started the car engine,  
“I might have told you that you were allergic to nuts so you wouldn’t keep stealing from my stash,” he teased jovially.  
Lucy giggled, slightly embarrassed because she didn’t realise that he knew she had been dipping into his ‘not-so-secret’ cupboard.   
“But seriously, you’ll answer me honestly right?” She tried again, watching for any signs of hesitance in his cool blue eyes.   
“Come on then you curious cat,” he laughed, “what’s the question?”  
Lucy was twiddling the ends of her sunshine hair anxiously, her eyes not really sure where to look.   
“Was my Dad a good person?” She asked, noting how his hands gripped the steering wheel a little firmer, his eyes focusing on the road.  
“Why would you ask that?” He answered cooly but Lucy could hear the awkwardness in his voice.  
“Joanie said she heard her parents talking about Dad and that they were saying he was really messed up before he... you know... and that he was hurting people...” she explained, feeling that suffocating tightness in her chest that she experienced whenever she spoke about her late father.   
10k didn’t reply immediately, he was obviously mulling over the right words to chose as Lucy sighed.  
“Apparently Joanie’s Mom said that he really hurt you and that Dad didn’t deserve you? What does that even mean?” She thought aloud.  
“Sounds like Joanie’s parents need to stop talking about shit that doesn’t concern them,” 10k almost sneered, his voice as ridged as his posture.   
“If he hurt people... if he hurt you... does that mean he was bad? Like I’ve read some of the old books about corrupt politicians and dictators, the ones in the library? Was Dad like that? Or was he good?” She had so many questions revolving around her inquisitive brain she couldn’t get them out quick enough.  
“You’re Dad was sick before he died you know that,” 10k reaffirmed, “he couldn’t of possibly of known what he was doing in that state. People can’t judge him from that small bit of time.”  
Lucy had to blink hard to get the image of her father’s blood smeared face as he howled in agony, rubies replacing his bleeding eyes, out of her head. 

“So he was a good man?” She prompted, looking at her adoptive father with an earnest expression. She had been so hurt when Joanie and the kids in class had started to bad mouth her Dad. The man that had sung her songs to get her to sleep and helped her plant seeds in their garden patch. The man who made this whole safer life a reality instead of a pipe dream...  
“He had good intentions, most of the time,” 10k admitted with a slight shrug, “you gotta remember he had a lot of issues before and after he became the cure. He was just human for the most part Lucy, people make mistakes but on the whole....” his voice trailed off as he inhaled deeply.  
Lucy had always been curious about her father and her adoptive dad’s relationship. She could remember 10k being around from when she was a small girl but she didn’t ever really know how to place him. He was always her daddy’s ‘friend’ but she knew there was something else in it. The way people whispered behind 10k’s back when he left their house or the way he was always first to know about any new decisions which always seemed to upset the committee. She couldn’t believe she was going to ask him but she couldn’t see another window of opportunity opening like this any time soon.  
“Did you love Dad?”  
10k coughed as he choked on air in surprise,  
“Wha... I mean... what?” He spluttered.  
Lucy titled her head, not wanting to use her methods of psychic persuasion on him, hinting for him to answer properly.  
“I’m not a child, I’m 16 ok? I’m not stupid either, were you and Dad like together, together?”   
10k was clearly flustered as his driving became a little more reckless, not slowing down over the old speed bumps. His neck becoming a violent shade of rouge.  
“It was complicated... between me and your dad...” 10k answered honestly but still managing to avoid the question directly.  
Lucy frowned, really expecting better from someone who had helped raise her. She stared at his profile like she could see through a transparent skull and concentrated. It was like she was mentally wading through thick treacle as she forced her way into 10k’s memories.  
“I suggest you get out of my head before you see something you can’t unsee young lady,” 10k warned sternly.  
Behaving like the defiant teen she was, Lucy kept rummaging through the memories like stacks of thousands of frozen images for any that contained her Dad.   
“Lucy! Lucy I am telling you now to stop...”

They were standing by a sleek black truck. Her dad looked younger than she had ever seen him and 10k looked exceptionally younger. He had a red bandana in his hair and a cigarette in his mouth. Her dad moved inappropriately close to 10k, their eyes locked before he took the cigarette from 10k’s mouth, he had brushed 10k’s lips with his thumb as he did so before walking away.  
“Lucy...”  
Then they were in a motel room, it looked dirty and shabby. Her dad was shouting and smashing things, his shirt was off revealing nasty looking scars on his abdomen. 10k was shouting too, he was trying to leave the room but her dad wouldn’t allow him by.   
“Get out of my head now!”  
10k was now in a different place, a car? He was laughing as her Dad sang goofily to a song on the radio. Her Dad’s eyes were wide with adoration as he winked at 10k.  
“Lucy!”  
Her dad was holding 10k’s hand in what looked like an office. They were older now, more like what Lucy was used to. Her dad was talking to 10k who didn’t seem to be paying him any attention. Her dad yanked 10k from his dazed state and pushed him onto the desk, his hand around 10k’s throat as he kissed him.  
“That’s enough!”  
Her dad had his teeth embedded into 10k’s forearm. His eyes were the same ruby red that Lucy had seen when she had discovered about his illness. He was chewing furiously, his mouth full of skin and muscle as he tore himself off of a screaming 10k.   
‘Kill me Tommy,’ her fathers voice pleaded, muffled by the large bolus in his mouth, ‘please for fuck sake just kill me.’  
THUD!

Lucy groaned as she rubbed her forehead from where it had smacked against the dashboard with considerable force. 10k had slammed his booted foot onto the breaks, the car skidding to a halt before dragging Lucy out of 10k’s head and back into her own. The shock to her system causing her brain to focus on herself.   
“What have I told you about doing that huh?” 10k scolded, his face contorted with anger as he continued to rant, “what happened between me and Murphy ... It’s not anyone’s fucking business. Not Joanie’s or her idiot parents and it’s definitely not yours! I will try to answer your questions Lucy but you have to respect my privacy do you understand?”  
Lucy sat there, shell shocked. She wasn’t sure if she had ever heard 10k raise his voice at her before. She had never seen him look as distressed as he did right in that moment. She nodded curtly, too mortified to say anything else. She started to pick at the skin around her nails, withholding her tears that were building up in her eyes.   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” 10k apologised after a short interval of quietness, “I didn’t mean to, it’s just ...”  
He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, his eyes still watching the road ahead. Contemplating how much information he should divulge to his former lovers teenage daughter.   
“Your Dad was my first love, I don’t think I know how to even explain it...” Lucy looked at him with the widest of eyes, her interest growing as he spoke, “the world wasn’t how it is now. There was this big chunk of time where the world was overrun by Z’s and everyone was always living on the edge. There was no food, no water, no cure. Your dad was in the middle of it all. Everyone wanted a piece of him to try and ‘save the world’. It made being in any type of relationship... errr.... a little bit more of a challenge.”  
Lucy could see how much 10k was struggling to talk about it. She had heard stories of what the world was like before the blends came into the mix. It sounded terrifying. People always dying, it was dire times. Lucy could imagine the stress her Dad would have been under. She had heard the stories of operation bite mark and California, she heard about Murphytown and how she and both her parents had lived in a military camp for some time. All in snippets and brief descriptions, she never got the full story. Her Dad had never wanted her to know.   
“He couldn’t have been all bad then?” Lucy said, “for you two to keep finding each other in all those years?”  
10k sighed as he pulled the car to the side of the woods,   
“No one is ever all bad Lucy.”  
“What if I’m going to go bad? Like dad did in the end?” Lucy admitted the secret fear had been holding on to.  
The girls in her small class were frightened of her too. She had felt a shift in her friendships ever since her Dad mutated into this carnivorous beast. People were becoming weary of her, even herself.  
“Is this what this is all about?” 10k asked with genuine worry, “you think your gonna end up like your dad?”  
Lucy nodded, not able to look directly at 10k in case she burst into tears.   
“Kid, your dad had been experimented on for years. There’s no telling what crap they had pumped him with,” 10k told her, “that isn’t going to happen to you ok? You’re a good person and you know where to go if you start to feel strange right?”  
Lucy nodded again, aware of the protocol put in place just incase.  
“Right then, that’s the end of this conversation. Don’t listen to likes of Joanie and her Mom and dad, those lot can barely tie a pair of laces,” 10k reassured her as he quickly squeezed her hand.

He got out of the car and reminded her to grab her gun. He had insisted that she learn to shoot, that it was an essential skill in order for her to protect herself if she needed to. Their weekly trip to the woodlands was the perfect chance for her to practice. She watched as the older man walked with such determination. She had heard rumours of her Dad being the jealous type. Lucy had once overheard Cassandra telling another blend how she wouldn’t even look at 10k when Murphy was in the room. She could see what people liked about her adoptive father, he was tall and handsome in a rugged way. Now she had seen him in his youth from his memories she could understand it more so. He had been attractive, bright blue eyes and defined features. He was someone everyone talked too, he had this strong, resilient attitude that people were drawn to. People always confided in 10k even now, he had always been her dads right hand man and that gave him this aura of power. He was a man of the blends so to speak.   
“Are you coming or you too busy day dreaming about whats his name? Derek?” 10k called to her playfully, all the tension from earlier gone from his voice.   
“Shut up,” she laughed as she joined him.  
She guessed she would never know what really happened between Murphy and 10k. Their entire relationship was at the centre of the world and it’s fate and no one would ever know the full of extent of their affair. Lucy watched as 10k smiled at her and decided she would let it be. 10k knew that her Dad was a good man. He knew that besides all of his flaws, Murphy wasn’t the monster that people had been trying to paint him as. That would have to be enough to ease Lucy’s interest for now. She trusted 10k’s judgement more than anyone and he believed in her. He wanted her to be a good person too and she was going to do her almighty best to be the woman her Dad would have wanted her to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s finally finished.  
> To say writing this has kept me from loosing my mind during this pandemic would be an understatement.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this, left comments or kudo’s. Honestly it has really boosted my confidence with my writing so thank you.  
> Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
